"God this coffee fuckin' sucks." A groggy Carlisle laments. It's just after eight in the morning, where Bella, Carlisle, and an older woman named Shirley sit after an early NA meeting. With the range in ages, the trio easily looks like a family unit of some sort. The reality is much more comical.
"You can't even watch your mouth around a young lady." Shirley chides, lightly slapping Carlisle's hand like a mother would her child.
"We just came from a Narcotics Anonymous meeting." He deadpans. "I think foul language is the least of her worries."
Bella's laugh is loud, only quieting when Shirley purses her lips, unimpressed.
Though it was true that some people and stories struck a chord in Bella, it was also true that she mostly dreaded the meetings. They'd only ever exacerbated her shame; a club of fuck-ups listening to each other's fuck ups.
It was depressing.
But Carlisle and Shirley had taken to Bella, despite her seemingly dreadful attitude. They weren't scared of her teen angst and saw right through it. Having both been shunned by their own children, the two had taken it upon themselves to do right by her. At least, that's what she thought.
So, the trio had made it a habit to grab a quick bite after most meetings. It was mostly Carlisle and Shirley bickering, but Bella didn't mind. She liked to hear them speak.
"You're in a good mood," Carlisle notes, looking at Bella over his mug.
"Maybe you guys are just extra funny this morning?"
"No. Something else."
Looking down, Bella silently curses the heat coursing through her chest and up to her face. No doubt, she looks like a tomato but thinking of the reason for her good mood has made any attempt to control her body futile.
"Ah," Carlisle grins wickedly, "a crush."
"Oh, how cute!" Shirley giggles, reaching over to pat Bella's shoulder.
Images of the night and morning before flash briefly through her mind. Muted conversation in the dark, warm hands roaming, soft lips meeting. A beautiful boy being...beautiful.
"So? Who is this guy? Or girl?" Carlisle asks.
Giving him a withering look, she offers a brief answer. "His name is Edward. Moved here over the summer. Really cute."
"That's it?"
"Sorry to disappoint."
"We don't mean to pry, Hon. We're just old and boring–"
"Speak for yourself," Carlisle cuts in. Shirley flashes her eyes before continuing.
"–and like to live vicariously through you is all."
"I know" Bella smiles softly.
"Alright then. Edward. Do tell us about him" Carlisle wonders, jokingly placing his head into both his hands and putting on an excited expression. Bella rolls her eyes.
"Really...nice. Nicer than most boys our age,"
"They're all nice at first." Carlisle lifts a brow, unimpressed.
"Did you want to continue or not?"
"Carry on."
"Anyway... I won't be gross and gush to you guys but...he's great." She finishes lamely. Her words seem insignificant. They don't convey a fraction of what she feels for the boy.
That scares her. But it excites her more.
"Oh, that's wonderful, Bella!" Shirley smiles. "There's nothing like the beginning."
Bella hears the wistfulness in Shirley's voice and the thoughtfulness on Carlisle's face. She knows they're probably both thinking about their own beginnings and how they came to end. Pain, divorce, estrangement.
"I told him I couldn't be with him until I got my shit sorted out but... The lines are always blurred between us."
Carlisle nods, "Everything's grey when passion is involved. Feelings, desires...they don't follow rules."
"I'm seeing that." Bella grimaces.
"The way I see it? No one ever really has their shit together anyway. Follow your heart, Kid." Bella lightly smacks his head away when he tries to ruffle her hair.
She smiles at him though, grateful.
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Bella methodically plucks the grass near her boot, shredding the pieces and letting them fall atop the pile she's created. It's a nervous habit, and one she does mindlessly as she sits with Alice and Renee in the yard.
It's a quiet Sunday afternoon, and despite Thanksgiving and Christmas being around the corner, there's only a slight chill in the air. The trio is having a small picnic, per Alice's request. She fills the air with her bell-like voice, her chatter working to smother the flames of tense air around Bella and Renee. They were never really good at the distantly-polite thing, but there's something about this time that seems.. almost bearable.
It both calms and unnerves her.
Unresolved tensions aside, they manage to be a little more than cordial. It's like talking to an estranged Aunt, but she'll take it.
Bella is surprised to find she actually enjoys the afternoon. She'd taught Alice some new choreography she's working on, while Renee watched on quietly, her lips quirking up into a rare smile. They had eaten snacks while planning Alice's upcoming birthday party. She was turning nine, and Bella was very sentimental about it. The passage of time was a scary concept.
At one point, they simply people watched in silence. and it's the most peaceful Bella's felt around her mother and sister in a while.
A small part of her wonders if it's because it's the most at peace she's felt in a while.
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It's dinner time when Bella realizes she can no longer push Edward out of her mind. She had been surrounded by distractions all day and though they didn't work well, they kept her busy enough. The potatoes on her plate weren't enough to distract her. She didn't want to be obsessive or clingy - especially after having such a good time the other night and it irritatingly gnaws at her insecurities. She looked forward to his texts every day, and can feel the absence. She contemplates sending a message but hesitates for fear of being bothersome. In the end, she just says, fuck it.
Hey.
She waits, her leg bouncing as she half-heartedly eats her dinner. She ignores her mother's disapproving looks. Renee hated phones at the table.
Hey, he eventually responds. She ignores the wave of relief that floods through her. Get a grip.
Wyd?
She sees the bubbles pop in and out of the message thread, further fueling her thoughts that he is hesitating...about something. Immediately her mind turns to the worst– was this his plan all along? Pursue her relentlessly just to see if he could? Was it all just–
I've gotta see you, he replies not even bothering to answer her question.
Oh.
She's surprised by how much she likes the urgency in his message. She was glad to know she wasn't alone. She fights to control the small smile playing on her lips. It doesn't work, and Renee notices.
"Must be some text." She says, her voice light. "A boy?"
Was it that obvious? Bella had always thought she had a decent poker face, but she was quite obviously no match for the adults in her life. Or maybe she really did look like a lovesick fool.
"It's.." Bella starts slowly. Is this her mother's way of reconnecting with her daughter? Gushing about boys was not something Renee and Bella did. Ever. Bella decides to be truthful - for once. Maybe it will garner some real conversation between the two.
"Yeah. A boy." She confirms.
"Mmm. From school?"
"Yeah. My grade." Bella offers before she can inquire. She can guess where her mother's concerns would be. She hated that Riley was older.
Her mother offers nothing else, only a short but penetrating glance before looking over at her youngest.
"Alice, baby, why don't you start getting ready for bed?"
"Now?" Alice whines, her eyes flickering between her mother and sister. Renee simply levels her with a look and Alice grudgingly stomps upstairs.
As soon as Bella hears the door close, she speaks.
"I know what you're going to say–"
"What am I going to say, Bella?" She quirks an eyebrow.
"That I need to leave boys alone and focus on myself and all that."
Renee sighs before setting her elbows on the table and leaning forward.
"Bella–"
"You'd really like him. He's...great." She argues. She can hear her voice starting to sound whiny and cringes.
As if summoned, Edward sends another text.
?
She remembers that he had asked to see her and looks up. Maybe she can kill two birds with one stone?
"He's around now, actually..." Bella says.
"How convenient," Renee says wryly.
"Mom. Just for a little while. Please."
"It's late, Bella."
"It's only 8 and we'll stay outside the whole time."
She didn't care that she was annoying. She just wanted him near and she wanted her mom to...like him. She wanted to show that maybe she had some decent judgment after all.
Renee looks into the eyes of her firstborn, and no matter how hard she wants to fight against her, she can't find it in her to end the pleasant day on a bad note. She sighs.
"Alright, Bella. Alright."
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When Edward finally arrives, Renee is polite but not what anyone would call nice. She quickly shakes his hand, her eyes looking him up and down.
"And you're Edward?"
"Yeah. Nice to meet you." He says, rubbing his hand over his chest nervously.
"Mm." She hums. Turning to her daughter, she simply says, "Not too late, Bella", before heading inside. The muted click of the door is deafening in the quiet darkness, the yellow warmth filtering through the curtains being the only source of light on the porch.
Bella turns to Edward, her face apologetic. "I'm sorry. It's not you."
"Pretty sure she hates me." Edward laughs softly, letting Bella pull him onto the porch bench. Renee's cool demeanor doesn't feel great, but he generally isn't bothered. As long as her daughter likes him, he seemed to be content.
"Same" Bella says. Their soft laughter fades as Edward loosely laces their fingers together, laying their joined hands on his thigh.
They chat idly for a while, joking and laughing about trivial bullshit. There's a new comfort she feels in his presence, like that of an old friend. Except he was becoming so much more. Especially after the previous night. Now that she thought about it, the entire weekend was...fresh, transformative in many ways.
She hadn't realized that both had fallen into silence. She felt Edward's gaze on her face and turned to face him.
"What?"
"I..." He starts slowly before shaking his head and frowning. "Something happened yesterday."
Oh.
"Ok." She says, trying to sound calm.
"You know I went to help my grandpa at the rink." He starts slowly.
"Yeah. What happened? Is he ok?"
"He's fine. A bit angry but...fine. "He says carefully. His eyes flicker across her face, hoping to gauge her reaction to his words. "That Biers guy was at the rink."
She looks frozen like she's barely breathing. He decides to just get it all out.
"He and his friends had been there the whole night. When we were gettin' ready to close he started giving my grandpa a hard time, so I went over and long story short - he was there to cause trouble."
Bella releases a shuddering breath, her mind blank with... a strong emotion she couldn't place. Fear?
He decides to leave out the gory details about the almost fight and damaged car. Looking down, he hates what he sees.
Bella looks terrified and confused, her brows furrowed and a deep frown messing with her beautiful features. His anger rises to the surface before he can control it.
"He's a fuckin' psycho," Edward says, his brows furrows and mouth turned downward.
It's strange for Bella to hear and conjures up several feelings. Anger, Fear, Embarrassment, and mostly...shame. She knows Edward's statement isn't about her in any way, but it's a second-hand shame. Isn't she guilty by association? She allowed herself to be surrounded, played, and used by this person. And up until very recently had thought about using him again.
What does that say about her?
It was quite clear that Riley was falling off the deep end. She'd seen glimpses of this - the violence and anger, the erratic energy and agitated thought process. She'd seen it - but it had always been directed at her and she could handle that. She often felt she deserved it.
Now, he knew about Edward and it was clear he wasn't afraid to threaten him...harm him. Edward, the most beautiful person she knew. He didn't deserve any of it.
It made her sick.
"I'm sorry" she whispers, unable to look at his face.
He scoffs. "Don't apologize for him. You did nothing wrong."
Not in this instance; but her bad decisions have led to this. This moment right here, where she has to confront the fact that maybe she'll always be weighed down by her past...always hurting the people she cared about.
Maybe she'll always be that girl to everyone. Maybe none of this is worth it.
"Hey" Softly, Edward pulls her body to his, her head right on his heart. "I didn't tell you that so you'd feel bad. I just want you to be aware...to be vigilant"
"Vigilant?" she looks up at him, her chin on his chest now.
"Yes. This guy is a creep with no boundaries. I don't want you to live in fear or anything but If anything ever happened to you, I don't even know what I'd do, Bella."
She can't help the tear that rolls down her face. It's all so unfair. Edward was good. He was light. And even that had been stained by Riley Biers.
"Don't you think I feel the same?" She whispers, reaching up to move his hair.
His green eyes softened before he lowered his head and softly placed his lips on hers.
"I won't let anything happen to you. Don't worry about me," he says against her lips. "It's nothing."
She shook her head slightly. Didn't he know? He was everything.
2020... That's all I'll say.
Leave me thought if so inclined :)