Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade.
Chapter 3: Crash
I stir to the quiet sound of typing. Which isn't so common in the morning. Kai goes to the library to work because he can disappear there. If he has some work to finish up at night he sometimes brings it to bed with him but this was a bit unusual.
I don't move right away, letting myself settle into the sound and his presence. It was also rare to wake up and have him still be in bed. I started to wonder if he was dressed yet and if I could add that to my list of rarities that were happening today.
But then I wonder if the reason is because something is wrong and my eyes snap open, falling onto a cup of tea on the side table in front of me. How thoughtful.
I take in the rest of the plain walls and furniture before I close my eyes again briefly.
"You should get some stuff for the walls," I mumble sleepily. The typing continues at the same steady rhythm and I start to wonder if maybe I am actually dreaming. Or maybe I hadn't really spoken out loud.
"Why?" Suddenly comes a reply and I smile before I roll over to face him.
"Character," I answer. He sends me a dry look and I smile wider. "Why are you working in here anyway?" I look him over and find him to be half dressed. He's wearing pants but the shirt he has on is still unbuttoned and open, revealing his muscular chest.
"I need to discuss something with you." Uh-oh. I stop ogling him long enough to push myself up and unconsciously wrap the sheets around me protectively.
"Is this about Tyson? Because I need to discuss something with you too." I wanted to ask about what had happened yesterday. I wanted to know what he was thinking. He probably already knew all this and wanted me to figure it out on my own but I had thought we were past all the games by now. Then again, maybe he liked the games.
"No." He closes his computer and sets it aside on the table.
"No, it's not about Tyson? Or no, you don't want to discuss it with me?" Sometimes pulling information out of him was like a job. We didn't seem to have these problems when Tyson wasn't in the picture. Which just gave me another reason why this situation was getting to be too much. It was like we were moving backwards instead of forwards.
"No, it's not about Tyson." He folds his legs underneath of him and sits up straight so he can face me. I relax and drop the sheets a little so that they loosen and fall off my shoulder a bit.
"Oh." For a moment I wonder what it could be but for some reason I don't think that it is as important as my own issue. I put my hands down in front of me and lean forward as if to get his attention, even though I already have it. "Well, CAN we talk about Tyson? Because I think I need to make some ground rules…" He rolls his eyes.
"Ray." He warns. I know he's going to talk me away so I decide to annoy him into listening.
"I love it when you talk rough," I tease.
"Ray." Less warning but still in a cautionary tone.
"Just listen a minute," I wave off his warnings and crawl into his lap, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, pulling the sheet with me and over his shoulders. He looks at me annoyed but doesn't move or remove me. I stare at him, nose to nose, having a silent conversation with just our eyes. I know he's fighting to keep control and I wait for him to say my name one more time in that demanding parental tone. If he did I would have backed off. Third time's the charm, right?
But he doesn't and I wonder just how much power he has given me over him. And even though I had been winning, I falter and look away. There was something intimidating about knowing I could influence him, even if it was just a little bit. He must have felt the same way because he grabs my arm as if he is going to push me off.
But he doesn't do that either.
His grip on my arm tightens and I meet his eyes again, then it loosens and he moves forward.
"I just wanted to talk," he replies quietly, as if to salvage any dignity he had left before he brings our bodies together and kisses me hungrily. He lowers me onto the bed and I let him hover over me and straddle me as he takes me in with another strong kiss. And somehow his words make me feel bad and I suddenly wish I could take it back and let him say what he had to say.
"What…was it...you wanted…to talk about?" I try and be focused as his lips and hands move to take control of my body. He mumbles an unclear reply and continues to kiss me with a passion only he can muster. I allow my body to respond but I still protest a little before he mumbles something else and then…
"Maybe we should talk about Tyson."
I don't take long to push him away.
"Now you're just being unfair," I respond derisively. I understand that I was the one who was insistent on it but it wasn't exactly the best subject to bring back when my body was starting to have a mind of its own and only wanted one thing, namely Kai. I never wanted to picture Tyson in that situation…ever. He smirks at my reaction.
"At least we can agree on some things," he says before sitting up and crossing his arms. He doesn't move from his spot across my thighs, making sure to keep me pinned where I am.
"This is some kind of torture for bringing it up, isn't it?" I reply dryly. "I just wanted to know what your intentions were." It would be like him to use my own tactics against me and it was hard to ignore how uncomfortable I was now. He definitely had taken back control. "When I saw you flirting with Tyson I didn't know what to think."
"I wasn't flirting with Tyson," he rolls the words off his tongue as if just saying them conjured a bad taste in his mouth.
"You used the tone," I insist. He scrunches his brow to indicate that that statement is even worse.
"I was doing an experiment," he explains before he leans back over me, placing his hands at my sides on the bed. My skin itches, knowing he's so close and just wanting to be touched again even despite my agitation.
"Was it the same type of experiment that you were doing on me?" I press, still not satisfied.
"Are you really jealous of Tyson right now?" He makes a motion with his head that indicates how unnecessary it is to tell me this but he goes on anyway. "I have to deal with him at work AND home now, so I want to gain a little freedom if this is all supposed to work out." He brushes any further explanation off and lowers his face close to mine again so I can feel his breath on my ear before he licks my neck. "Do you really think that I would do this to Tyson?"
I press my hands to his stomach as if to keep him from getting any closer.
"Ew, stop. I don't want to think about that…" I close my eyes in an attempt to block any images from forming but the seed is already planted. When I open them again I can't ignore his enjoyment of my misery.
"Then, don't." As if it is that easy. He moves forward with his advances, brushing over my skin lightly with his hand and I wonder if he's trying to help me erase the thoughts or if he just wants me to shut up. He's close to achieving both of these things but I try to stay persistent.
"We still need to discuss this." I push forward on his stomach gently to regain his attention.
"If you did what I asked to begin with, none of this would matter. I just decided to make things more interesting," he continues with a partially suggestive tone. My sad attempt to stop him remains hopeless when he moves back slightly to kiss my nose and nuzzle my face un-phased, causing me to shift awkwardly beneath him in one last effort to ward him off so we can finish talking.
"More interesting?" I intended to sound serious but he goes to kiss me again and my eyes slip closed and my lips are drawn to his without objection.
"The longer you wait the worse it'll get. I told you I wouldn't make it easy for you," he whispers into my ear. Worse? I'm not too sure about anything right now and he isn't helping much. Was he just accepting that Tyson was staying and adapting to that by forcing Tyson to establish some boundaries? When I thought about it that way, it made sense. But what if it was more than that? Was he purposely dangling these thoughts so that I would counter?
My eyes re-open and I try once again to reclaim control of the situation and get more information out of him. I had too many questions and I wanted to know just what this 'experiment' was supposed to be accomplishing.
"I'm confused. What are you...ah!" I flitch when he moves his lower body against mine skillfully, making the rest of my body react and heat up instantly. I flush and my concentration temporarily wavers as the electrical impulses vibrate through me, telling me that they already know that all my struggling is useless and I should just give up already. I can't control the groan that slips out or the way my body continues to respond to his and he doesn't hide his approval of this as he works his way under my pajamas.
"Just…" he pauses for effect. "Stop being upset. I gave you a way out."
"Okay…" His words are all lost as he goes on to further stimulate me with his touches and movements and I am completely bended to his will. He could have told me anything at that point and I would have agreed without any second thoughts (or even first thoughts). Everything we had just discussed (which wasn't really all that much anyway) is erased from my memory and the only thing that's left is Kai.
A noise in the hallway a few hours later wakes both of us up out of the bubble we had thought we were in. We both tense and listen but the noise doesn't sound again and everything else is quiet. Kai's weight at my side seems to get heavier for a moment and then he moves away to gather his clothes.
"What time is it?" I question, shaking the drowsiness of having slept most of the morning away off. He looks at his watch.
He starts to answer but another noise stops him briefly. Another silence follows and things move forward.
"We slept too much," he says instead of the time.
"Do you have somewhere to be?" I ask curiously as he pulls his clothes back on.
"Yeah, and now I'm late."
"You're never late…" I muse absently. He looks at me sharply and I withdrawal a little. "Sorry…" He softens.
"It's not entirely your fault," he re-assures. At least I choose to take it as a re-assurance even if it does come off a bit dismissive.
"Can't you just forget your obligations for a day?" I hate to sound like I am begging but I really wanted him to stay.
"It's a nice thought," he shoots down my proposal. I reach over and rub his back.
"One day won't kill you," I try again.
Voices travelling down the hallway interrupt, coming through the walls muffled but audible.
"We have SO MUCH work to do!" Tyson.
"So what exactly am I here for?" Kenny.
"Brains!" A zombie. Wait. Max.
I exchange a look with Kai and sit up.
"I refuse to feel like I am doing something wrong in my own house," he announces.
"But it's such a rush when doing the wrong thing turns out so right." He gives me a dark, deadpanned look and I pout. "I know. I'm on it. I'll tell them right now. Just give me my pants," I move up next to him at the side of the bed. Maybe it was the fact that we had slept in together or maybe it was something else but telling them suddenly didn't seem so tragic. It was like nothing could ruin my day now so I might as well just do it and fix whatever issues it was creating between us.
"You have five minutes." He hands me my pajamas and goes into the bathroom to straighten himself up before he could venture out into a house full of unwanted guests. Something in his tone made telling them seem more urgent so I forget all about discretion and wander out into the hallway with just my pants on and my hair still a mess. Five minutes. Five minutes. Five minutes or what? Was this an ultimatum?
"Good morning, Ray! Did you get enough sleep?" Max is so kind. I wonder why Kai dislikes having him around. It's like waking up to a ray of sunshine every morning.
"Did you just wake up? It's almost 2..." Leave it to Tyson to notice the obvious.
"Sorry to intrude, I was told it was an emergency." Kenny is still my favorite.
"It IS an emergency! These posters won't make themselves! Ray, you gotta help too. Maybe after you get dressed." Thanks Tyson.
"Guys." I gather up all the courage inside of me, which, quite frankly in the (now panicked) state I am in, isn't much.
"He doesn't have to if he doesn't want to. I'm sure the three of us can get it done…" Max is always accommodating. He would make a good sales person. Come on, Ray. Stop getting distracted.
"Guys, listen. There's something I have to tell you." I take a deep breath. It's just like ripping a band-aide off. I just gotta do it.
"Are you sick?" No, Tyson, I'm not sick. But I might be if I don't just get this over with.
"It's something important but I don't want you to be upset." Yeah that'll lessen the blow. I fight an urge to roll my eyes at my own words.
"Maybe you should go back to bed if you're sick." Great suggestion, Max. But we've already established that I'm not sick…yet.
My stomach tightens as the pressure washes over me and I suddenly feel like it's now or never. Whatever Kai had planned was going to happen any second and I couldn't hold it off. But looking at their concerned and waiting faces, I couldn't do it. I wasn't ready. Kai's door opens and my adrenaline rises. This might have been my last chance to prove him wrong about me and about them so I just had to...
"Kai and I…"
Kai comes out of his room, laptop in one hand, a cup in the other. Without a word or acknowledgement to the others he walks over to me and kisses me on the cheek before handing me the cup.
"You forgot your tea," he says before he walks down the hallway and leaves.
Everything is completely silent for a few minutes. I can feel my heart pulsing in my ears and a part of me wonders if the others can hear it too. For a while we just stare at each other, nobody knowing exactly what they should say. I can't read their faces or reactions because…they have none. It was like time had frozen us all in place. My eyes fall on Tyson, expecting him to be the first to break out of it but even he seemed more spaced out than usual.
"Tea is good for sickness," Max pops in finally, setting the world back into motion. "But it looks cold. Maybe you should heat it up." He smiles. Tyson takes a deep breath in and nods as if to confirm what a good idea that is.
"Yeah. I'll do that." I take a final scan across their faces and step away from them, disappearing behind the wall in the hallway and headed for the kitchen.
"Congratulations!" Tyson yells at my departure. I hear something hit him. I stop walking and lean against the wall, all of the nerves I had built up dissipating in one big swoop. And then I feel exhausted so I slink down the wall to the floor.
"He's not having a baby, Tys." Max scolds him in a manner showing that I wasn't meant to hear.
"What should I say then, if you're so smart?" Tyson responds in a similar way.
"Just...not that…"
"I'm still not sure what's going on. Is he coming back to help?"
"Let's just get this started. We don't have a lot of time before I have to go," Kenny butts in before they can get too off track.
I look at the cold cup of tea I am still holding and laugh to myself. I knew Kai was wrong about them. What had I been so afraid of?
I pick myself up carefully and go to discard my cup in the kitchen sink but something Tyson says stops me.
"I wonder if Ray will be less busy when Kai goes out of town." Out of town? He had said he wanted to talk but he hadn't mentioned anything about leaving. In fact, he hadn't even hinted at it. Had this been what he had wanted to discuss all along? How had I let it slip by without listening to him?
"How long is he going away for?" Max asks casually. I take a step closer to them but stay hidden behind the wall.
"I dunno, Hiro said sometimes they can be gone for two months!"
"Two months?" I squeak then cut myself off, imagining two months without Kai. Sure it didn't seem like a big deal, considering we had been apart for longer periods of time, but after living together for over a year and sharing a bed at night, two months sounded devastating. It was something that struck me a bit harder than it probably should have.
Tyson goes on ranting for another 20 minutes about how unfair it is to have to work with his brother AND get picked on by Kai, but Max and Kenny lead him back to their project of Max's election posters before he can get too carried away.
I don't really listen, zoning the rest of them out as I go on with my own frantic thinking. How far away was he going? Was he really going for two whole months? Why hadn't I let him just talk when he wanted to talk? Was Tyson really a more important subject? Of course thinking about it now, if I had known it was something like that I never would have let us get so far off base. I certainly wouldn't have ended up here.
"What do ya think, Ray?" Somehow in my worried musings I had managed to throw out my cup of cold tea, dress, and return to join the others in the living room as they worked. Nobody had given me much consideration until now.
"How long has he known…" I mutter, still lost in my own world.
"Who?" Max looks at me confused.
"He's asking about the poster, Ray! Is it flashy enough?" Tyson pipes in, popping a poster with bright orange lettering in front of my face. "Does it scream 'vote for me, I'm the best!'? Does it?!" He pushes the poster closer and I shield my eyes from the instant headache that wants to form.
"Oh yeah. Totally. I can't even take how glorious it is…" I say half sarcastically, half teasing. Tyson grins almost as bright as the poster.
"I told you! This was a great idea!" He turns back to Kenny as if to challenge him.
"I think he is just being nice…" Kenny tries to talk him down. "We need more than just words. We need a slogan or something appealing to the needs of the students."
"I told him he needed a picture too!" Tyson adds enthusiastically.
"I'll come back later." I stand to exit.
"Wait! There's one more…" Tyson picks up a different poster, just as obnoxious in color, and just as plain.
"Ahh, so awesome. So great that I am not worthy of being in the same room with it. Gotta go." I rush out, taking a page from their book of exits and hoping the exposure was not long enough to result in an actual headache.
I go to the back porch for solace and to collect my thoughts. In the back of my mind I listen for the door opening announcing Kai's return but in the quiet I just take the time to calm myself down. I had promised myself that I wouldn't jump to conclusions anymore. Since, frankly, I was usually wrong.
Every now and then I hear an eruption of laughter followed by Kenny yelling something to convince them that it still isn't right yet.
I sigh.
I almost don't register his presence when he DOES get home and comes out to sit down next to me without a word. I am unsure if I should speak or wait until he says what he has to say. At first we just sit in silence, catching the reflection of the sun setting across the water of the pool.
"I tried to fight it," comes his reply after a while. I don't respond or even acknowledge him, concentrated on the colors as they start to change. "I wanted to tell you yesterday but things..." A pause. "I didn't want you to hear it from him first." A little late for that now…
"How long?" I demand without much strength, watching the dim oranges and pinks swirl into dark purples and blues. "Just tell me it isn't 2 months." Tyson had been guessing but there was no way of really knowing how inaccurate he was. Sometimes he got lucky and was right when making those leaps.
"It's not. It's 4." I turn to look at him abruptly, unable to decide between feeling angry, sad or surprised, or a mixture of all three. "Days." He smirks. I scowl. The tragedy seems to fade and I push him for toying with me. He catches my arm before I can take my hand away again and pulls me to his chest, wrapping his other arm around my shoulders and bringing me in close.
"Four days isn't so bad…" I ponder, spreading my fingers out so I can lace them between his.
"Less than a week," he replies absently. For some reason it sounds out of place even though it is completely relevant. Probably just because it IS so relevant. In the recent weeks I had noticed the little changes in him. His comfort in just saying and doing what he felt. Things he wouldn't even think about doing before, especially in the presence of somebody else. Things that only I got to witness.
"Kai?" I go to tell him my thoughts, a sudden swell of emotion gathering and giving me courage to follow through. After everything that had been happening between us, it started to feel like something I had to do, just so if he left I knew I didn't have to guess whether he was coming back.
"Ray! Is dinner ready yet?!" Tyson bellows down the hallway from inside, interrupting the moment and sending all my courage back down to my stomach in a huge knot. I roll my eyes.
"Why don't you just grab it yourself?!" I yell back annoyed.
"You think that is a good idea?" Kai raises a questioning look.
"He has to learn somehow," I shrug.
"I guess you wanna go out to eat?" his disagreement doesn't waver. I laugh and move away from him.
"Alright, alright. I'm going." I stand up and make my way back inside. "I'll be right there! Don't touch anything!" I yell.
Four days huh? I'm sure it won't be that bad at all…