Chapter 6: Ebb and Flow
Do you ever wonder if teachers get together and plan to make all your assignments due around the same time so you absolutely have no way to finish them all? Between that and them knowing EXACTLY the worst time ever to lay the most significant assignments on you, I don't know what is worse.
I was having trouble concentrating during class and had missed quite a lot of the instruction for the homework that had been placed in my hands as we were all leaving. I am pretty sure they knew it too, judging by the patronizing look I got as I took the pages from them. To be honest, I hadn't left the best impression on my teachers this time around, despite my attentiveness and my constant strive at perfection. My first semester had set up a standard that they all seemed to expect out of me. One in which I wasn't as in-tuned to as I had been before all the changes that were happening in my life had started when Tyson and Max had resurfaced unexpectedly. I was too busy wondering what I would be going home to and how I could deal with the issues their presence created.
Today was just another one of those days. Except now, instead of putting my efforts into getting the information I needed to finish the assignments correctly and on time, I was rushing home to intercept whatever happened to be waiting for me this time. How do people with kids and jobs get through school without getting completely overwhelmed? Maybe they are just better at hiding it…
Life is meant to be enjoyed.
Sure things happen that bring you down. But that's how you appreciate the things that don't. Work isn't "fun" but it doesn't have to be torture like this.
"Dude! I love my job!" See? Tyson knows.
I close the door behind me, shed my coat and scarf and turn around.
"Is that you, Ray?" Max's voice calls down the hallway. Tyson pops out of the kitchen before I can answer.
"Ray! I gotta show you this too! And we made dinner for you. Come quick!" He latches on to my arm and practically drags me the rest of the way to the kitchen.
"You…cooked?" I start, looking at Tyson warily before he lets me go and returns to the counter where Max is setting up a bowl. Max smiles widely and nods. Not at all what I was expecting. In fact, it was probably the exact opposite.
"It's one of my Dad's specialties. You're gonna love it!" I regard him with a skeptical nod and take a place at the table that Tyson had set up for us to eat at. I don't miss the extra place setting and look back at him quizzically.
"Kenny is on his way. He had a little trouble on the train but he said he's not too far away," Tyson explains. Ah, they were still waiting for Kenny... "But enough about that. Check this out!" He lets Max finish up with the preparatory actions and carries a large tan envelope over to the table, sitting down next to me. "Since Hiro wasn't there I got to poke around his office and I found this super experimental Beyblade design that he and Kai have been working on. Look!" He opens the envelope and pulls out a bunch of blueprint photos and systematic equations. "Max said it looks much different than the ones his mom works on and it seems to have some kind of hidden power." He shoves the photos at me and I half smile, not really understanding all the technical mumbo jumbo that is scrawled across the pages in two different handwritings. "Do you think Kai is testing it out in Europe?" I look past Tyson at Max as he brings the bowl, now filled with some type of salad, over to the table and places it before us. Max just shrugs and goes back to the fridge to get some drinks.
"Isn't that stealing?" I ask unsure. Tyson falls back in disbelief.
"What?! Of course not! I work there too!" he huffs.
"Well I'm sure you weren't supposed to be poking around. People get fired for that sort of thing…" I continue critically. Tyson makes a noise of protest and gathers the papers back up.
"I told him that too but it's pretty useless," Max laughs as he places four cups down on the table.
"You guys don't understand! Why aren't you more excited? Do you know what this means?!" Tyson doesn't stop his protest or withdraw from his conviction.
"That Kai and Hiro are productive members of an organization?" I offer him. He growls while Max covers another laugh.
"I knew he changed you. How did he do it?" I stop at Tyson's accusatory tone. What? Max tenses up and sends Tyson a clear 'stop this now' look, waving his hands out shortly and then brushing them back nonchalantly through his hair to cover up the action.
"You promised to wait for…" he starts, only to be interrupted by the phone ringing. All of our heads turn in that direction, temporarily forgetting everything else. Kai. I rush to answer it, fumbling with the receiver as my adrenaline starts going.
"Hello?" I ask excitedly.
"Is Max there?" a female voice asks and I look back confused.
"Max?" I look over at him and he walks over sheepishly. I lower the phone and frown. "Seriously?" I question him. He calmly takes it from me and smiles apologetically.
"Yeah, sorry, Ray. My cell broke and I knew I would be here awhile so I…" I cut him off by walking away. He lowers his voice as he greets whoever is on the other end. I step into the hallway.
"Hey! We weren't done yet! What about dinner?" Tyson outbursts at my departure.
"I'll eat later. I have a lot of work to do." I walk down the hallway towards Kai's room. When I reach for the doorknob however, I freeze. I take a moment to pass a few thoughts through my head before taking my hand back and moving on to the library. For some reason, his room no longer felt like open territory for me. I knew Kai would say I was being stupid but it just didn't feel right to enter when he wasn't here.
Kenny arrives and I hear Tyson go through the same excited battle with him over his 'findings' but the dark feeling that I was letting sink in gave me no desire to rejoin. The phone rings three more times with calls for Max before I give up running to answer it with enthusiasm. He explains that it's for student council things and I understand, having the knowledge that the elections were coming up fast and debates were about to start. Tyson attempts to distract me each time I emerge but I ignore him, returning to my cave with no comment. After the last phone call and hearing them finish up in the kitchen, I close myself off and lock the door so they can't bother me.
I mull over the confusing projects and papers that I was assigned last minute and it is almost 2am by the time I decide I am too tired to concentrate on the words blurring across the computer screen. I slink out of the room as quietly as I can and head to the kitchen for a quick snack before I settle in to sleep. The only light in the house is the light coming from underneath Tyson's door and I step around it as I pass by as if intersecting it would announce my location to the boys inside. I wonder if Kenny is still here. I am almost positive that Max probably stayed but Kenny had yet to intrude in that manner. It was too quiet to tell and I start to think that they had fallen asleep with the light on.
When I step into the kitchen, that theory goes right out the window as I jump back at the shadowy figures sitting around the kitchen table. I rush to turn on the light and find all three boys sleeping at the table. The sudden illumination startles them and they wake up.
"Hey, watch it!" Tyson hypes, throwing his hands up protectively. Max and Kenny are less animated and just cover their faces and groan as they look up confused.
"What are you guys doing?" I ask vacantly. "You know there are beds right?" Tyson jumps up.
"We were waiting for you!" he points at me and I blink. Me? Was missing dinner really that important to them? If I had known it was such a big deal I would have suffered my way through it.
"What time is it?" Max yawns and sleepily looks around, un-phased by Tyson antics as usual. Kenny looks at his watch.
"Oh geez…" he mumbles. "Maybe now isn't a good time Tyson."
"What are you talking about? It's the perfect time!"
"I'd say never is a good time." Max's head thunks as he drops it back down on the table in exasperation. I cross my arms, sensing something isn't right here.
"Wha…what's going on?" I ask unsure. Tyson walks over and loops his arm around my elbow, pulling me towards the table. The other two boys avoid making eye contact with me, Kenny looking down with a slight blush of embarrassment and Max just keeping his head laying on the table.
"This is your intervention!" Tyson gloats. Silence. The discomfort of the other two boys only becomes more prominent. I look back at Tyson as he lets go of my arm and sits back down.
"The TV show?" I stare at him inanely, unamused. Max's hands wrap around the back of his head, still face down on the table, and he covers his face with his arms.
"I told you this was a stupid idea," he mumbles through the barrier. Tyson hits him and then hits Kenny's arm.
"Come on guys, this is serious! Ray needs our help," he insists. I sigh and walk around the table to the fridge, looking for that snack. Maybe a drink would be better, eating food right before bed can give you nightmares. The drowsiness washes over me again and my movements get a little slower.
"Tys, I'm not in the mood for your games right now," I reply tiredly suppressing a yawn. "I really need to get some sleep…" I find a bottle of juice and snap it open to drink it.
"Wait, no!" Tyson jumps up again. "You can't go yet. This is your intervention!" I look at him in boredom.
"You said that already. What am I being intervened for?" Each word comes out more and more fatigued and uninterested. "Last time I checked, I was healthier than you."
"Kai." He says the name short and chokes off the end, showing less confidence in his decision to have started this. The declaration of the other makes my head snap up and face his direction crossly. I wasn't fully awake but I knew exactly what he was trying to say and didn't like it at all. Max feels the tension build up inside me and leaves his protective stance to pull Tyson back down.
"He doesn't mean it like that," he tries to cover for his friend. I fight the urge to be angry even though the more this goes further, the harder it is to keep it down.
"I thought you guys were okay with us." I put the juice down on the counter before it becomes a victim of my unsettled emotions. Kenny looks up at this one.
"We are," he replies, not hiding his annoyance with Tyson's way of approaching the subject. "Tyson just wanted to…"
"Tyson thought maybe YOU weren't okay," Max interrupts him. I try to think of a way to respond. It's not every day that your friends stop you as a group to let you know that they think you're making a bad choice. Especially after acting okay with it and showing no signs of having problems before.
"You guys waited to tell me this? Why? You would never do this with Kai." I don't hide my hostility as I mention the absent member of our group.
"We should just leave him alone. It's late," Kenny tries to get them to back off again.
"No, I want to hear this now," I insist. Tyson ignores Kenny's pleas and continues.
"Kai isn't the one who's different," he explains indignantly.
"People grow up, Tys." I oppose him, crossing my arms again and walking back around the counter to the end of the table. Tyson takes in my aggressive approach and falters.
"I uh..just..uh…wanted… Grr! This works a lot differently on TV," he muses, to which Max nods.
"I told you it was unnecessary to begin with," Kenny agrees. I start to get slightly annoyed at being ignored but decide to let it go. I still wanted to pursue this but I felt my head starting to throb and thought maybe it better to re-approach it with a clear mind. My anger would only make me say something I would regret later and there was no way that talking more wouldn't just make me more upset. Especially with Tyson taking the lead.
Dropping my arms and shaking my head, I walk towards the exit.
"I'm going to sleep," I mutter. "We'll talk about this later." Three sighs respond and I hear the scraping of their chairs as they get up to retire as well.
At first my sleep is restless and disturbed but after fighting with myself for an hour or so, I finally settle. A tap on my foot stirs me.
"Ray?" I pull my leg in close to my chest to escape the pressure. "Hey, get up!" The tap moves up to my side. "Why are you sleeping out here?"
"Ghosts…" I mumble and roll over away from the touch.
"Ghosts? What?!" I hear the startled voice and the panic and slowly the realization of what is happening sinks in. What time is it if Tyson is up before me?
I sit up straight and look at my watch, throwing the couch blanket onto the floor with the sudden movement.
7:15.
What?
I look up at Tyson confused.
"What are you doing up?" I eye him.
"Kai called," he says plainly. There is a hint of displeasure in his voice but he isn't showing any signs of being combative about it. The words still make my heart sink.
"I missed it?" I stare at him, not able to hide my disappointment. He takes a page from Kai's book and gives me a 'hn' in response. Then he thinks better of his choice and nods his head back.
"Nah, he's waiting. I just came to get you," he reveals with a smile. "It took me a bit longer because you weren't in your room."
"Oh." I relax. I had come out to the living room to sleep because Kai's room had felt rather empty and cold and the couch felt much cozier. That and I had imagined that hearing the phone ring would be much easier if I were closer and not behind a closed door. Ironically enough I hadn't heard it ring anyway but at least he had waited. If it was the Kai I knew 3 years ago he would have hung up the second he heard Tyson's voice pick up. It's funny how certain things can make something mean so much more. I pick up on Tyson's suspicious staring and study him a minute, trying to read his thoughts. "Oh!" I shoot up and run to the kitchen.
"Oh, no it's going great. Thanks for asking," Max is on the phone when I get there. He winks at me as I enter. "Yeah, he's right here…oh sure…hold on." He laughs. "It's for you this time," he smiles, waving the phone at me teasingly. I snatch it from him and turn around to hide my face as I blush.
"Hello?" I say quietly, as if it is a secret that I don't want anyone to overhear. I hear Max sit down at the table and look over my shoulder at him as he watches me expectantly.
"Hey." Kai's voice brings my attention to the phone but Max smirks takes it away again so I swat at him to leave.
"Hey, hi, how was the trip?" I stutter out uncomfortably.
"It's fine." Typical. Even if he was better at communicating with me face-to-face, it was clear that phones calls were not one of his strong points.
"I…" I pause as I catch Max making an endearing gesture and smiling playfully. I send him a scowl. "How did…" He moves on to making a kissy face and hugging the air suggestively and I growl in annoyance. "Hey, knock it off!" I yell and take a step towards him threateningly. He jumps up and giggles, grabbing a piece of fruit from the bowl on the counter and stepping outside the room. He shoots me one last mischievous wink before disappearing down the hallway.
"Is this a bad time?" Kai impatiently lets me know he's still there.
"Uh, no. Not at all!" I rush, a little too forcefully. "I mean, of course not. How was the trip?"
"You asked that already…" It sounds cross but I can still hear the amusement in his voice. I laugh to myself and smile.
"Sorry, it's been a long night."
"Tell me about it."
I look at the phone a little shocked. Under normal circumstances a phrase like that from Kai would have come out sarcastically or bitter but this time it had sounded quite genuine. At first I don't know how to proceed.
"It's not that interesting…" I brush the whole thing off, remembering Tyson's accusations. "Maybe I can tell you about it when you get back if you still want to know." There's a silence for a few seconds and I start to think he has hung up. But then his voice comes back with something I wasn't expecting.
"You're hiding something." He got all that from one sentence? I should have expected that much at least but I still wasn't prepared to tell him. At least not over the phone. Not only would it make me feel like I was bothering him with something trivial but I didn't want him to think that just because he was gone, things weren't under control. I breathe out heavily.
"It's nothing to worry about," I return. I hope it is enough for him to accept and move on. He seems to mull it over but doesn't press further. I ask him a few more impersonal questions to which he provides short, undetailed answers and then I ramble on about some non-important things for a couple more minutes before he announces that he has to go. "Hey, Kai?" I detain him for a moment longer, not wanting the connection to him to dissipate just yet.
"Yeah?"
I try to think of something charming to say. Anything that might make me feel like he was closer to me but my mind is a blank mess.
"I'm glad you called," I finally say glumly.
"Hn." A pause. Then he returns with an amused and pressing, "Take care," before he hangs up. I smile fondly at the gesture and hang up the receiver. It was almost like we had invented our own little codespeak.
"Does he make you happy?" Tyson's voice from behind brings me out of my loving stupor in surprise. I whip around and find him leaning in the doorway. What comes to mind is that he is trying to bring back the conversation from last night but the question is innocent and he looks more interested in a real answer than starting another fight. I consider it to be his way of trying to accept things as they were or maybe to figure something out on a more intimate level.
"Yeah. He does."
Tyson frowns but nods and straightens himself up, dropping the subject altogether. He starts to talk about work things and hoping that he gets to do something interesting today but Max comes back shortly after, tackling him and going on about coming by later to get help with some project. It's then that I remember my own school work. Oh man.
Without a word I jet from the kitchen and back into the library to go over what it is that I have left to finish. In full panic mode I don't think I have the time to finish before the deadlines and I completely go into hardcore working mode. Squeezing in anything I possibly can before I have to rush myself out the door at full speed.
The day went by as a blur and the closer I got to the end of it, the farther away it felt. I started to feel overwhelmed, like nothing was going to go the way I wanted it to. Not only were things at home a bit weird, I wasn't sure if they were resolved or if I had more to expect. I had no idea what to say or what to do to make Tyson more comfortable. I didn't know if he had changed his mind or if he still wanted to 'fix' things. And I didn't know if I would ever be able to catch up in my classes to a point where I felt comfortable again. Worst thing about everything was, I didn't know what to focus on first.
When I got home Tyson, Max and Kenny were crowded into a room that wasn't Tyson's. That little detail being one I didn't quite pick up on right away. Until I passed by Tyson's room and it was empty but I could still hear their voices drifting down the hallway.
A quick survey of Tyson's empty room, brought a few things to my attention. I took a few more steps down the hallway and approached the next empty room. There I picked up on a few more things that were slightly out of place. I shrug it off and approach the last room in the hallway, this being where the voices are the loudest. I peek around the corner curiously and take in the sight there as well.
"Um…Max?" I look between each of the boys evenly. Max looks up at me from his place on the floor with imploring eyes.
"Yeah, Ray? Is something wrong?" he asks unaware of my explorations.
"Uh…can you tell me why your things are scattered all over the place?"
"Oh right! We were seeing which room had the most feng shui!" He smiles delightedly. He seems so proud of himself that he had thought to do something so intelligent. To prove his point, I watch as Tyson writes down a few measurements on a piece of paper and then has Kenny look it up on his computer. I choose not to inquire any more. Besides, I think what I needed most right then was a good nap. Otherwise, I would start to believe that there was a lot more nonsense going on than there actually was.
But for once, I was actually right.
Over the last few days of Kai's absence, Max started gradually drifting in. He was like a girlfriend who had decided to move in but was doing it without your knowledge. His stuff started to randomly appear. Then his clothes and toiletries. Then practically everything he owned just showed up all over. I rarely saw him inside the house and when I did he was always with Tyson but after the first day of exploring, he seemed to find his own space and settled into one of the other guest rooms. Then I saw him everywhere.
I had lost my handle on the situation before I had even known it existed and by the last day before Kai's return, it was way too far out of control to push it back before Kai would find out. Was I really that blind?