Chapter 16: All Around the Mulberry Bush

"What's all this?"

I look up from the box I have my face buried in to acknowledge the love of my life as he gapes from the doorway. He's still wearing his coat and his cheeks are a little flushed, probably from the cold. Tyson (always the more enthusiastic) jumps up, nearly tripping over one of the other boxes he had similarly been engrossed in as he rushes over to him.

"Doesn't it look great?!" he exclaims, grabbing the stoic phoenix and dragging him into the room. "Max helped me carry the tree. We didn't know where else to put it. But it looks great, right?" he repeats, hoping this time to get a reaction. Max shifts his gaze away from them sheepishly, hoping that Kai wasn't about to retaliate for the sudden change in scenery without having asked for permission.

"It's…" before he can come up with a word that I am sure means 'terrible' but in a tactful way, he starts to vibrate. Or, well, his pocket does. He glances down and frees himself from Tyson so he can answer his phone, conveniently walking into the hallway so we can't overhear.

"It's fine Tyson. If he hates it, it's only for a month or so," I reassure the gloomy look that had cast itself over Tyson's face. Tyson looks back at us critically, the gloom not quite ready to depart.

"Yeah, that's true… But maybe…" Max looks over the random mess of decorations and clumps of tinsel with a serious expression. Then, he stands up and starts to primp and reorganize the tree as if he were a hairdresser in a salon.

"Nah, Kai always knows. Something's not right." Tyson scratches his head to think about it. Then he plops back down on the floor to dig through the boxes some more, now on a mission to find whatever that 'something' is. I take a sideways glance at the doorway, expecting Kai to return at any moment to finish telling us what he thinks but he doesn't.

"It was nice of your Grandpa to give us his leftover decorations." A pause. "But I have to wonder…what was he thinking when he bought this?" Max pulls an ornament from the tree that slightly resembles the shape of a fish but has fur and only one eye. He breaks into a giggle fit when Tyson looks up and immediately snatches it from him.

"I made this in the first grade! It's supposed to be a penguin…" Tyson pouts. I try to remain neutral in the matter but I spit and burst out into my own fit of laughter, wondering from which planet this 'penguin' originated. Tyson scowls and throws it at me. "I'd like to see you do better…" he grumbles as I duck out of the way, the ornament sliding underneath the couch behind me and disappearing from any further critiquing. Max clears his throat, covering any more comments on the subject and goes back to the tree, consuming himself by taking the big, messy globs of tinsel and spreading them out so they look more even. Tyson stops all other movement to watch him and I finally see what Max was talking about before. He has a strange expression on his face and seems to be studying Max for something nobody else seems to see, but the action comes off much more like a pervert than he probably intends. Mainly because his mouth is slightly open as he concentrates. I don't find anything offending or unusual about it, except for the fact that it's Tyson, and trying to get Tyson to concentrate on ANYTHING is just unusual in and of itself.

"Hey Tyson…" I start to inquire, only, I am interrupted by Kai re-entering the room, face flushed and clearly not in the same easygoing state as our previous encounter. He doesn't even bother to stalk all the way over to me. His glare of fury is enough to get my attention without the added effort of wading through the maze of boxes, people, and other obstacles that may have slowed him down. Somehow I am grateful for this because not having them in between us would make me less secure in my current position and the space separating us now. I feel singled out and very unsure of whether I should be fearing for my life or not. I can sense the rage radiating through the air in the room and it's stifling. What could I have done wrong that deserved such a reaction? I imagine the others feel it too as they are also frozen in place, anticipating what will happen next, tense, wondering if I need more than just those boxes for protection.

We all hold our breath as Kai zeroes in on me and only me.

"You. Outside. Now." He demands with no other prompting. He spins around, not acknowledging anything or anyone else and stalks off. The door slams a second later making me and Max jump and cringe while Tyson crosses his arms with a slight scowl. I gulp.

"What did you do this time?" Tyson grumbles, rolling his eyes before he drops his arms again and sighs, then nonchalantly goes back to the nearest box as if this was a normal affair. Max flinches and offers me a weak smile, his task of amending the tree temporarily abandoned.

"I'll make us some cocoa!" he exclaims, trying to lighten the mood before he darts off. I'll have to tell him I appreciate the effort later. But…first things first.

I gracefully get up, pat myself off and slink my way outside, tenderly closing the door behind me without a sound. I don't even feel the cold grip me after exiting the safety of the cozy apartment. I'm too tense, waiting to find out what it is I am in for. Still wondering what I possibly could have done. It had to do with the phone call right? Did I run into someone he knew and say something I shouldn't have? Or maybe he had gone back to the room afterwards… Was he mad that I took down that hideous painting and hid it behind the dresser? He can't be THAT angry about THAT. He'd said he didn't have any attachments to it. Maybe I left something on the computer… Did I leave the journal out after I poked around it a bit after buying that dictionary? Was he upset I BOUGHT a dictionary? He had given me the journal as a peace offering but maybe he really had no intentions of letting me figure out what it said. Maybe he was taking baby steps and wanted to explain it to me in his own time. But he had to know I wasn't just going to do nothing about it. Well, if he knew anything about me anyway…

I am not left too long wandering around my own random explanations because Kai doesn't even take a second to see if I am truly alone or that it's really even me before he fumes his way over.

"Were you even going to tell me you saw him?" he divulges with such force that I almost back up. Even though I probably wouldn't get far considering there's a building there…

Ah… Why wasn't that the FIRST thing I thought of? THAT makes sense…

"I guess this is about your dad?" I offer innocently, trying my best to not look scared while every part of me wanted to break down and cry in a corner somewhere. "In all fairness, you just walked in the door like three seconds ago…"

I shouldn't have been surprised that he would find out. He seemed to know everything before it happened and more afterwards. I had planned to tell him later when we were alone and nobody could interrupt. It seemed like a better choice. Had it been the wrong one? And I could totally understand him being angry, but THIS angry? He looked ready to kill me. And as far as I knew, I hadn't done anything wrong. Yeah, we talked. Yeah, I didn't tell him right away. Was I supposed to? Should I have carried a warning button with me so I could press it and immediately notify him some way that I was being confronted? Should I have called him at work or gone to see him immediately afterwards? If I hadn't thought that that would be bothersome to him in the middle of the day, I would have preferred it. I would have welcomed the comfort.

But this wasn't comforting at all. This was the opposite of comforting. If I had known he would react in this way, I am HAPPY that I HADN'T told him hours ago. I didn't like this feeling or seeing him direct such rancor at me. This was something I had never experienced before. Sure, we'd had fights. Sure, he's said some things that sounded irate and were hurtful, but this? This. Felt. Wrong. Just what kind of relationship did he and his father have that he was THIS serious about a few simple words that passed between us without Kai's knowledge? Especially if he DIDN'T know what it was about? I only assume this to be true because he is so adamantly trying to pressure it out of me. So how DID he find out, and if he knew that we talked why DIDN'T he know what about? Who told him?

The most logical answer would be his father himself would have contacted him and expressed his own feelings of our encounter. But how would he have gotten Kai's number? Kai made it clear they had no connections or contact with each other. Was it the butler…shofer…person? With the powerful presence Kai's father emanated I could see him having the means to find out whatever he wanted. Had he always kept tabs on Kai even despite their shredded relationship? What was Kai TO HIM now?

Kai breathes out heavily and turns around, probably looking for something to hit that wasn't me. Nothing being within his immediate reach causes him to growl and throw his hands up before returning to me and boxing me in by putting his hands to the door on both sides of my head. The new position makes me tense up more and I really do try to back up, wall being my only escape and causing my breath to hitch as I fight off a cry of fear. He closes his eyes a second before locking a hard stare with my own wavering one.

"What did he say to you?" he replies through clenched teeth.

"Nothing really…" I try to remain cool (as cool as I can be under the circumstances) and act like I am shrugging it off as no big deal. This however, is NOT what he wants and he shows me this by curling the hand on the door to my left side into a fist. I imagine that he is seconds away from driving it into that thing he couldn't find earlier and only pray to whoever or whatever that it didn't end up being me after all. My mouth goes dry and I am sure I pale but it doesn't stop me from putting my hands on his chest to push him back as a defense, (as non-helpful as it is). "I mean, do we have to talk about this out here? We should go somewhere more…" I opted to say 'quiet' but it wasn't noisy in the slightest out here so that seemed kind of pointless. Which, in all fairness, had probably been his idea to begin with (that and getting away from prying ears). But, I didn't want to disturb the neighbors and he clearly wasn't in the frame of mind not to if he took what I said the wrong way. As opposed as I was to admit it, I could see the similarities between his tactics and his father's at intimidation. His were much more threatening and direct however, and the air between us becomes difficult to breathe in as he shows me how much he isn't in the mood for my playful banter by narrowing his eyes. "Nevermind." I relent. "Here's fine." I take a deep breath…aaaand backpedal some more. "You want exact words or a paraphrase?" I stall, hoping the cutesy look I send him will make him soften…just a little bit. ANY little bit. Even a tic was welcome at this point. Instead, he starts to lift the fist like he's going to use it and I panic. "Okay, okay. Sorry. He just um…asked me to uh, basically…break up with you? Of course I said no… You don't have to..." I trail off as the fist relaxes and clenches again as he turns around, crossing his arms and taking the few steps down the stairs to the sidewalk. Relief washes over me at the gain on my new freedom and concern grips me instead. "Kai?" I take a step towards him and reach out, only to withdraw again when he sneers at me over his shoulder.

"I should have known bringing you there would start something. I just didn't think he would approach you on your own. That bastard..." He mutters something under his breath that I don't hear. The danger having seemingly subsided brings the feeling back to my body as I relax and I shiver, clutching my arms in an attempt to keep warm. He lets out an aggravated grunt and faces me again. "Go back inside before you catch a cold," he orders. This somehow leaves me unsatisfied.

"And you?" He looks me over as if deciding something. He takes his coat off as he makes his way back up the steps and wraps it around me, bringing our bodies close together and covering me in warmth. His smell and body heat instantly overcome me and my cheeks flare up in embarrassment.

"Just listen to me for once, okay?" His words are strong but a softness has entered them as well. This takes away my unsureness about whether he would ever have REALLY hurt me and I suddenly feel silly for having been afraid of him before. "Stay away from him. If he comes after you again, call me immediately."

"But I…" A finger moves to my lips, the other hand tugging on the coat to keep me close to him so I can't lose focus or look away.

"Call me. I gave you a phone." I furrow my brow and grab his finger to move it away, putting a small distance between us as I lean away. I didn't want him to have all the power, needing some answers of my own.

"Can you tell me something first?" I ask indignantly. He anticipates my line of questioning already and places his grip on the other side of the coat, gripping both sides strongly and pulling me back against him, fully locking me in.

"I'm only going to say this once." He states boldly. His grip tightens and I am unsure if it is because he is gathering up his courage or because he wants me to meet his eyes…because I do, it being the only action that feels appropriate in the moment. "I chose you. I would do it again if I had to. There is nothing he can say, do, or throw at me that will change my mind." He releases me and takes a step back. "I refuse to let him use you to get to me."

"Chose? What are you talking about?" I might be even more confused than I was before. How did he 'chose' me? What was the choice? When did it happen? Was it why their relationship became strained? I had automatically assumed it must have always been strained. All his past familial relations had all been presented similarly and he gave no indication that it wasn't that way with all of them. To be honest, I didn't even know how much of a family he even had. Did he have siblings? Did he have Uncles or cousins or second cousins or third cousins twice removed? Was he close with his mom before she died? I got the feeling he may have been but how long had she been dead? Would I ever know these things? Would he ever want to talk about them? I could understand if they were painful why he wouldn't want to. But he pretty much knew everything about me. Did I know ANYTHING about him? To be in this relationship, this way… To expect a future. To expect reciprocation… Did I need to know? Isn't that what a relationship was? I had thought I had been giving him what he needed. Space. Time. Trust. But how long could I keep that up if he never seemed like he had enough of it? Did he need more time? Did he need more space? If there was always more time and more space between us, were we really together? Maybe we just…tolerated each other. Maybe we were fulfilling some carnal desire that we both shared and mutually agreed was necessary to carry out between us since the door had been opened. But would we ever be more than that? Would we ever be what I needed and not what HE needed? Was I being too selfish to ask these things?

We share a few cold, quiet breaths of contemplation as I think about everything that had just occurred. Kai glances up at the apartment and huffs, shaking his head before passing by me and approaching the door.

"Let's go."

That's it? I turn and reach for him but realize why he'd taken that route when I see what he had seen and freeze. Max was peeking out the window, trying to get a good look at us. I hold back the urge to laugh, the situation not seeming any less serious and not willing to change the trail of thoughts just yet.

"Kai." I stop him. "If you want me to do this, I have to know what's going on. Why does he hate me so much? And what…" He interrupts me.

"You'll just have to trust me," he says before opening the door. Trust again? For someone with so many secrets he sure asked for a lot. If I had to piece everything together on my own I would probably just mess it up. Maybe it was a lot simpler than I was making it seem.

He goes inside but leaves the door open for me. I hesitate, meeting eyes with Max at the window, his hopeful expression egging me to come back inside.

Maybe I was just thinking too much.

I pull Kai's coat on properly, shoving my hands in the pockets as I lumber towards the open doorway. My hand brushes against Kai's phone and what feels like a notepad but I have no time to think about it before Max jumps up and appears in front of me carrying a steaming cup in his hands. He really had made hot cocoa. The gesture is not lost on me.

"Not good?" he puffs, shoving the cup at me and tugging at my sleeve to follow him back inside. I start to protest but gladly accepting the warm gift. He laughs at his own words. "I won't ask you what happened but I WILL say I'm happy you're still alive." I scowl.

"You're such a charmer," I return sarcastically, receiving a giggle in response.

"I have to go get Tyson's cup too. Come inside!" he orders, pulling me towards the living room before disappearing again. Tyson looks up, his eyes trailing after the blonde as he leaves. My urge to question his sudden interest in the other's movements itches its way back to the front of my mind and I like the distraction from my previous troubles. I wonder how appropriate it would be just to ask. I take a sip from my cup and hold it close, letting it warm my fingers and my face with the steam.

Whelp. Now was as good a time as any.

"Hey Tyson…" I shed Kai's coat and properly hang it up while I wait until he looks like he's heard me. His gaze locks with mine in a quick glance before he looks back at the contents of the box. "I couldn't help but notice that you…gawk at Max now. Any particular reason?" I ask as casually as possible. Which…is pretty damn casual if I do say so myself.

"What's particular? And who's gawking?" He can't stop the blush even with his defiant tone or his choice to bury himself deeper in the box. "I just notice more when he's not looking at me." He explains without prompting. He never was any good with interrogations.

"What are you trying to notice?" I take another sip, still maintaining casual. I am blatantly obvious that I am toying with him but he doesn't seem to pick up on it at all. Especially since his face grows really serious as his mind drifts battles over out an explanation.

"He… There's… I don't know how to say..." He turns his back to me to avoid looking in my direction and stands up, pretending to be more interested in fixing the tree's disorganization. His hand moves to the back of his neck to rub it in a soothing sort of way. "He hides."

I let a silence settle in briefly before responding.

"You can be very perceptive. It's a shame you chose to waste your true abilities." I smirk. He spins around furiously.

"Shut up!" his hand grabs an ornament and he throws it at me. I dodge.

"So violent too. Is this how you treat your friends?" I act offended. "What did the poor ornaments ever do to you?" He crosses his arms and sticks his nose up.

"You don't act much like a friend anymore," he spits back defensively. He doesn't mean it as an insult but it still hits me like one. I feel a sharp twinge shoot through my chest. He doesn't miss the change in my demeanor. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." He starts his way over to comfort me but stops halfway there. "Or maybe I did. I dunno anymore."

"It's not just Max, is it?" I ask, a little taken by his show of helplessness. He hadn't given me any sign that I was correct in thinking this was the case, but there was something in his eyes that were screaming out the words to me.

"No." He sits down on the coffee table, appearing pleased that I had noticed so he wouldn't have to say it himself. "It started with Max. When you made me study him. When I looked at him, like, REALLY looked at him, I saw…something. But I didn't know what it was. So I kept looking. Trying to see it again so I could, I don't know, label it? I saw other things too. Then I got curious and I started watching people at work too and noticing things in them! My brother… Mr. Dickinson… The lady that greets you at the door… I guess I never really looked at people before. Or maybe…I never really SAW people before."

"You're a busy guy." I offer as support, hoping he takes it as such.

"I should have known you'd make fun of me." He pouts, taking it an entirely different way instead. I instantly want to comfort him.

"Hey now. I think it's good." I smile genuinely.

"You do?" he changes his tune, looking at me awestruck. "But you called it 'gawking'." The awe switches to displeasure at the word. I laugh and pat his arm reassuringly.

"Well, I take it back. Now that I see why you were doing it. It's good to want to understand people. And you are right. You DO learn a lot by paying attention." I nod as an added effect.

"Well. I didn't learn anything at all. I noticed fake smiles and covered up insecurities but I always knew when he was doing that. Who doesn't do that? I mean, we all do. I don't want to ask why he does that because I understand. This was something different. I only see it when he looks at me. And… and… it's different then when he looks at you or Kai." He folds his feet underneath him and looks down, a sadness draping itself over his features. "I… I saw a change in you too." He pauses. "But like… It was almost like the opposite of what I see in him." Now he looks at me. "Like I… Did I do something wrong?"

"Why would you ask that of all things?" I can't follow his line of thoughts.

"Well, with Max it's like…" He thinks for a moment. "He keeps himself at a distance but he's trying to get closer. With you, it's like you're too close and want to get away."

"Woah." I am so taken back I don't even have a witty response to give him.

"What?" he asks confused.

"I just never thought I would see the day when you'd say something like THAT."

He growls and crosses his arms.

"Sorry." I pat him again. "You're…right. I have been struggling with my friendship with you. Do you blame me?" He considers it. And for once, he seems like he is truly considering it.

"I guess not. I've been pretty unreasonable. I just feel like…" His hand moves to brush his hair back. "Are you always going to take his side now? Is that what this means?" The question sounds strange but looking at it from his perspective it would seem like that's how it was. Were there really 'sides' in friendship? I wanted to say no, but it seemed impossible for there not to be sometimes. I didn't want to 'pick a side' if I didn't have to but if given the choice between our friendship and being with Kai, I probably would choose Kai. Luckily, I had never had to make that choice. Had Kai? Was that what he had meant?

"Do you hate him?" I ask instead of answering his question or thinking about any more of my own.

"No." He takes a deep breath in and sighs. "It's not that. I think I just wish things were as easy as he makes them look. He has…everything."

"He doesn't." I blurt before I can stop myself. Tyson looks up at me sharply, a little shocked. I blush. "I mean, if you looked at him the way you've been looking at everyone else, you'd see."

"I would but he's always glaring at me," he mumbles back and rolls his eyes. I snort into a laugh and can't help but smile at him and the mental picture he'd just created in my mind.

"Sorry I took so long!" Max enters with perfect timing. Almost too perfect. I eye him quietly, asking him a question we both know he wouldn't ever answer truthfully. He hands Tyson a cup and sits down, also cradling one of his own. He avoids my eyes just as I had expected he would and pretends to be taking a more thoughtful look at the tree. I down the rest of my cup and stand up.

"Well, I'm kind of tired. Sorry guys. I'll see you in the morning." I ruffle my hand through Max's hair as I walk towards the hallway and everything quiets as I exit.

How can one conversation make you feel closer and farther apart at the same time? Suddenly, I'm exhausted.