Chapter 17: The Ugly Truth

I've always considered myself a good person. Sure, sometimes I get small desires that aren't so nice but they aren't enough to take away from my overall merit. I mean, everyone has pet peeves and things that tweak their personalities ever so slightly into something unrecognizable. I could probably name mine with one hand. But I'll save that for another day. Today, we're going to talk about Kai's. Kai's WORST in particular. Before I get too carried away I should probably start from the beginning though. So, we'll get back to that later…

After avoiding Kai for the rest of the day and the first 20 minutes of dinner (or maybe he was avoiding me, but that might just be splitting hairs…either way, we hadn't seen much of each other), I made a decision. One that I wasn't too sure was sound or even thoroughly considered. I was completely clueless on exactly how to implement it anyway. There were many things that COULD happen that weren't what I WANTED to happen and many things to work out so that those things DIDN'T happen. One way or another, I had to figure it out and I had a slight inkling that I couldn't do it alone. But my mind had stopped working somewhere in the transit of thinking about it all and it must have started to leak out. I was only basing this on the strange look I got from (not just) Kai when he entered the kitchen and I moved to his side immediately. I went as far as taking his hand and bringing it up to rub it against my cheek while Tyson made a noise of discomfort. However, Max and Kai were too surprised to react any differently than the critical looks they sent my way.

Eh, kill 'em with kindness right?

I smile and release him but pat his back to help push him towards the table.

"We almost waited but you're pretty unpredictable about being social so…yeah. But there's still plenty, eat up!" I say before walking back to my seat. Max gets a mischievous glint in his eye as he watches Kai's facial expression change when his eyes follow me across the room. Kai doesn't move right away so Tyson jumps to motivate him.

"Cat got your tongue? Sit!" he calls with a welcoming gesture. Kai sits, still half focused on me but turns away when Tyson drops a piece of paper in front of him.

"What's this?" he asks as he picks it up.

"My demands," Tyson responds with a bored shrug. Kai raises an eyebrow and for once I am happy that look isn't directed at me. Mainly because I knew what would follow and it wasn't pretty.

"What?" he demands, a lot more mildly than I had anticipated. I'm almost disappointed. His tone is more deadpanned and the glare he sends the other boy is only half the wrath I had endured earlier. Tyson, of course, isn't fazed at all.

"Just read it. I'm only asking for mutual respect." Tyson gestures to the paper in affirmation. Max covers a smile with his hand.

"Mutual what? Are you high?"

Before Max can break into a giggle fit, I skid my chair away from the table loudly, successfully gaining everyone's attention. I pick up my plate, push in my chair, and walk over to the sink where I set the plate down.

"I'm leaving first," I announce with a smile before I exit.

"I'm done too!" Max bursts, followed by a clatter of his own chair. I figured there had been a battle of curiosity between what I was up to and what was going to happen between Kai and Tyson before he had made a decision but there's a few more clatters and then he's in the hallway catching up to me. "Hey!" He slows when he reaches my side. "Didn't want to see the fireworks?" he prods. I had known that my behavior would peak his interest but the topic hadn't been where I wanted the conversation to go and I sigh.

"I've had enough of those today. I'm going for a swim."

He stops walking.

"Um…isn't it a little cold?" he asks concerned. I turn around and smirk at him. He propels forward again as I turn back and keep walking. "Wait, whaa? Tell me what's going on?!" He wraps around my arm to keep me from walking too fast.

"Listen." I lower my voice to a more serious tone and lean closer to his ear. "I want you to do something for me." He nods and keeps himself attentive. "Take Tyson out after dinner." He looks up a little taken back.

"How am I… Where?" I shake my head, baffled at my request and where it had come from. I can see the wheels turning inside his head as he searches for the answer. I shrug.

"I dunno but I'm sure you'll figure it out. I need Kai alone without any interruptions." He stops walking again, halting me as well and looks up at me a minute. After what I'm sure is some kind of dirty thought plays itself through his mind he nods again.

"Okay but…I can't promise anything long…" he says a little unsure and still partially confused. I nod back and he releases my arm.

"Thanks. You're a really great friend." I wink at him and disappear into my room.

"You'll owe me!" he calls after me and I laugh to myself.

I mill around, keeping myself busy with random things like cleaning and organizing, praying to heaven that Kai doesn't disappear before I can confront him. Because that was the decision I had made. Confronting him. I was newly determined to get all the answers that he refused to give me and somewhere deep inside I felt like the only way was to get him alone somewhere that we couldn't be interrupted.

When I hear Tyson and Max's excited voices fade down the hallway and the door closing, I wait for the silence that follows. I start to think my prayers had been useless and Kai really had left too because he was giving off no amount of presence at all but I am completely thrown when I find him still in the kitchen. He's still holding the paper from Tyson and looking it over with a contemplative scrutiny. I enter quietly but he doesn't miss it, looking up with a shortened regard, the paper giving him more to think about than he'd probably wanted and not really having any reason to consider me a threat. I study the situation a moment and shrug.

"That actually makes this a lot easier." I give as the only warning before I kick forward on the leg of his chair and cause him to fall backward. He drops the paper as he goes to brace himself but I catch the chair with one hand, spin around him and straddle him, then glide the chair gently the rest of the way down where I plant myself across his abdomen. I cross my arms. "We're going to talk." I state powerfully. "And you're not walking away this time." The initial stun shattered, he snorts.

"You know I can get out of this right?" he says as if I am underestimating him. I tilt my chin up in indignation. I can't show any weakness now, not even for the twinge of a smile that wants to share the joke with him.

"I know. But…will you?" I glare down at him. He rolls his eyes and crosses his own arms, even with the rest of his body otherwise restrained.

"I used to like this side of you," he slights me. This time I snort. I uncross my arms and drop my hands to the top of the chair, above his head.

"Feels good when you're the receiver, huh?" I chide in a snarky tone and his eyes narrow with a playful glint. He arches his back to shift into a more comfortable position and huffs in resignation. I stifle the noise that wants to come out by this movement and hide my weakness, trying to decide if the action was intended to distract me or if he had really needed it to make himself more comfortable. He hardly ever did anything without some sort of hidden intention so it was extremely hard to tell.

"Where would you like me to start?" he looks back at me, the playfulness vacating his tone. I hide my surprise as well as my elation that I had made progress without much effort at all. BUT… Having him in this position is nearly impossible for me to hold back from seeing what else I can get away with or get him to agree to.

"Hn." I smirk and lower my face to his, brushing close but not close enough to make contact. I wait for him to respond and then accept the kiss that he hungrily offers before I break it off abruptly. He growls and covers up another small shift when I pull back. "I didn't think you'd actually give in so easily." It was fun to see him struggle for once in his life. It felt even better that he was offering me his struggle almost willingly. It was true that he could fight back and more than likely win, but he was letting me keep control and that was one thing I knew wasn't offered so enjoyably.

"I might hate you," he confesses with no sign of teasing. I 'hn'.

"I learned it from you," I return. He rolls his eyes up, away from me and turns his head as if looking for something to hit me with or to use as a way out without going as far as hitting me. Before he finds that 'something' I roll myself off of him and offer him a hand as assistance. "Now that you know I'm serious, let's be adults." He snubs me and gets up on his own, leaving the chair overturned in spite.

"You've made your point but don't ever do that again," he orders before he walks past me out of the kitchen. What? Did I really lose my chance?! I bolt after him.

"Don't just walk away! You know I can do worse!" I warn.

"I'm giving you what you want but we're doing it my way," he returns, stopping in front of the gym. The gym. So many things could happen in there. So many PAINFUL things. Oh the possibilities of the (painful) things he could be thinking of doing 'his way'. I pout.

"What if I don't like your way?" I half whine.

"You can't surprise me twice," he says without any hint of self-doubt. When he's right, he's right. I relent and enter the gym. He follows, locking the door behind us. I take a step towards the door as if to stop him.

"They're not…" I start but he cuts in.

"I know." Well okay than… He crosses over to the mats and takes off his shirt. Of course he's all business. "Okay. For every hit you land, I'll answer one question. So. Give me your worst."

And here it is. What we've all been waiting for. I know it's a little late and at what would seem to be a serious time, but before we really delve deep, it has to be noted so that no one can forget this moment. The moment when KAI shows some weakness. KAI's pet peeve. And I'm sure once you see it you'll understand and be like 'oh yeah, I expected as much'. But really, who would know? Kai's a brick wall! I jest. But this once-in-a-lifetime moment needed some kind of recognition before it was lost between the lines of real life mayhem's.

So… The simple truth is.

Kai hates losing.

And yes, I'm sure you all know that but what you might NOT know is, Kai hates losing SO MUCH that he actually denies that it happens. He neglects it. To him, it doesn't exist. Not just because it happens so rarely but because it gets under his skin so bad that in order to live with it, he has to convince himself that it wasn't real.

I know, I know. You're all confused because yeah, we all saw Tyson beat him numerous times but think about it. Any time Tyson brings it up, he either disregards its validity or convinces Tyson to have another battle where he proves once again just how superior he is. Blaming Tyson's 'luck' is just his way of justifying it without having to admit that the boy has some real talent. Or that 'possibly' he might just lose sometimes.

So yes, this fact makes this all so much more satisfying that I can't help all my feel good feelings from spilling out all over the place. Bliss really is blinding sometimes. Anyway…

"You're out of practice." I grin victoriously as I pin him to the ground for the 3rd time. He scowls and avoids eye contact.

"You're cheating," he grumbles with a glower. I sneer.

"Just because you aren't winning doesn't mean I'm cheating. Mr. High-And-Mighty isn't invincible ya know," I retort with a visible amount of pride. He snorts and rolls himself out from under me by kneeing me in the back and sending me tumbling off of him. "Hey!" I protest, getting my bearings back and standing up.

"Go." He replies, brushing himself off.

So far I had addressed only minor issues like his relationship with Tyson at work and things he'd discussed about me with Max. Tiny, trivial things… I was working up the courage for the heavier topics and on some level I could tell he'd appreciated it and hated it all at the same time. But he knew and I knew…I couldn't avoid it forever.

"Your mother…" I start off slow, not quite sure how to ask or even WHAT to ask. He sucks a breath in, holds it a second while closing his eyes, before nodding and letting it out.

"She…died before I met you guys." Simple, short, to the point. No details, no other show of emotion. Crap. I needed to push him.

"Were you…close?" I try, not finding which direction I wanted the conversation to go. He always seemed so distant when anyone brought up his past or his family. I didn't want to bring up something painful in an untactful way but on the other hand, I had so many questions. Questions ranging from simple things like 'what was she like?' and 'what kinds of things did you do together?' to darker topics like 'how did she die?' or 'did she know about the abbey?' and so many other different kinds. 'Do you always visit her grave like that?'; 'Is that the only time you go home?'; 'How do you feel when you go home?'; 'Why is your room so empty?'; and so on and so forth. Any question I could ask could lead into dark territory or maybe not so dark territory but I had no way of knowing which questions would lead where and I wasn't completely prepared for the dark places just yet.

"It's…" he searches for the right word. "Complicated." The easy way out. Maybe he was as unprepared as I was at going to those places too. I want to try again anyway. Who wouldn't?

"Un-complicate it?" I say with uncertainty. He volleys between being amused and being annoyed but he keeps the glimmer of play in his eyes as he responds.

"I know these aren't the things you really want to know about," he says as if trying to get out of answering. I roll my eyes and let him get away with it.

"Fine." I drop into my battle stance. He tilts his head up approvingly and follows my lead.

"You shouldn't have wasted your chances," he declares before swiping his leg out to capsize me. I try to jump but react one second too late and tumble down. He smirks in satisfaction but in doing so he lets his guard down long enough for me to retaliate. I dance my way around him in one quick movement. My one single advantage over Kai is my ability to 'disappear'. Which was basically just using any chance to get out of his way and evade his super sensitive senses by not making a sound or philandering my presence. I was no REAL competition for him when he let me lead but throughout this exercise he'd taken the offensive more often than not, leaving his defense wide open. In a way, it was almost like he was letting me win. I would have believed he really had been if he hadn't have shown how annoyed he was by it more than once since we'd started. He was definitely frustrated and even I know that you can't fake that sort of display when you're putting on a show.

I knock him down from behind just as he goes to turn around and he growls a lot more aggravated than last time as he pushes himself to sitting and rubs the side of his face. His side is red from the impact and I throw my hand out (for the second time today) to help him up.

"Cheating," he repeats bitterly, brushing my hand away (also for the second time today). I laugh.

"Out of practice." I repeat as a taunt. He kicks my shin and I stumble forward. He catches me as I fall onto him sloppily. Then he breaks out into his own laugh at the surprised look on my face and the panic as I try to disentangle myself from him. I slip on the mat which is wet with sweat and fumble back onto him. Then we're both laughing as we try to get up. "That hurt, you know," I reply as we separate, remaining seated on the mats, and I look over my shin.

"I owed you," he coos.

"Har, har." I fake laugh in mocking as I nudge him with the tip of my shoe. He shakes his head and wraps his arms around his knees as he watches me doctor the scrape he'd left me as a present.

"My father wasn't always like that," he volunteers, not waiting for me to ask a question and causing me to look up at him abruptly, forgetting my wounded shin. "My grandfather stole me from my parents when I was young but you already know everything about that." He waves it off. "When I was returned, I was different. As anyone would be. My mother tried her best to make me smile but…" He sighs, once again leaving the finer details about his mother as untouchable. "The wasted effort made my father bitter towards me. He started sending me to reform schools and special classes that were meant to better me. They fought about it. When she died, he blamed me. He started picking apart everything I did until I forced myself into wanting to BE perfect just so he wouldn't have anything to say. Turned out that perfection wasn't really what he wanted anyway because even perfection was perfect enough. I rebelled. He sent me to boarding school and pretty much abandoned me. I found ways to vent my frustrations into other things, like blading and bullying weaker kids... I met you guys…" He takes a pause then goes back to the main topic. "We had our ups and downs after that but our relationship became more like a formality because I was the only heir to his company and even if I was 'broken' I still had obligations to my family. Blah, blah, blah. When I left… Last year…" He stops a moment to consider me. "I went home last year to tell my father I was done with him." He goes on with more confidence. "I didn't want his inheritance or his company or his big, lonely house on the hill. I told him I found something that was better than that and he couldn't push me around like his little toy anymore. He cut me off and said once I learned my lesson and came crawling back that he might accept my apology. Mr. Dickinson offered me the job and the apartment as long as I could maintain it and pay the bills. My father had come after me twice since then. So, after the last time, I finally told him what it was that I wanted." He takes another pause as if he's finished but before I can respond he says, "I told him about you." His eyes flick up to meet mine, in complete seriousness. He keeps his words strong and even as he finishes with, "Needless to say, he didn't like that very much." He looks away.

"Kai, I…" I breathe out a bit pained. I didn't know what to say or feel. I wanted to hug him and ask another million questions at the same time, not being able to decide which I wanted more. I wanted to feel happy and sad and angry all at once. This was big. He'd given me much more than I had asked for as well as a solidification of where we stood together. He'd answered the months worth of worries and doubts I had had since moving in with him and he'd done it in one story that was heartbreaking and relaxing at the same time. It held so many emotions and demanded just as many in return. So instead of figuring out what it is I SHOULD be feeling, I just sit there in shock for a little while. "Why couldn't you just tell me?" I had to ask so I knew which feelings would matter. He shakes his head.

"It isn't your problem."

"Maybe…but we're a team." I insist. "And I don't mean like Tyson, Max, you and I are a team but just you and me. We're a team, the two of us."

"I handled it," he throws back forcefully, clearly getting agitated that I was pushing him. I flitch. He looks back at me and lets out a heavy sigh, relieving himself of the burden of holding everything in. "I know. I'm sorry." He mutters softly. "I just want you to know now so you can understand why I want you to stay away from him." I nod and keep my mouth shut, starting to feel a little uncomfortable with how hopeless the situation seemed. Kai doesn't want me involved but in some way I had gotten involved. And now I know and he wants me to just forget about it and let things go on like I never knew? I'm at a loss of how to go forward. I got what I wanted but I still felt like I was losing something. So I brood while I think in all over.

I don't hear him drop his hands to the mat before he's crawling his way over me.

"I'll take care of it," he whispers with a half-smile before he urges me to let go of my turmoil by grazing my lips so softly with his own that I barely feel them touch before they're gone. He lightly nestles the side of my face and lingers close so I can feel his breath provoking me to give in. I try to turn away from the distraction.

"I'll take care of you," he pushes further.

I start to waver as my body heats up and I gravitate to him, capturing his mouth more aggressively and licking his upper lip vengefully, wanting nothing but for him to feel how distressed he was making me.

"I do love you," he lets out one final phrase like a ghost on the wind before I can't stop myself from giving in to his unspoken demands by wrapping my arms around his neck and practically pulling him on top of me. This satisfies him enough to stop teasing me and he gives me his full affection and the passion that he'd been holding back until now. We meld together, getting lost long enough for me to forget where we were and why we were there, and what he'd said to me as a result. His hands comb through my hair before they work their way down to the pieces of clothing that are still keeping us separated. I manage to stop him by taking a hold of his face between both my hands. I take a minute to catch my breath, whimpering as I resolve myself to meet his eyes with strict tenacity.

"We can't keep covering our problems like this," I pant out. He turns his head and licks my palm before kissing me again in longing.

"They'll still be there to work out tomorrow," he answers before rendering me completely helpless.

A/N: Oh gosh, it's been a month. I'm terrible! I hope it was worth the wait. It really winding down now so I hope to finish it by the end of the year at least. Haha

Once again, thank you so much for the reviews. It keeps me going even when I feel like I'm going no where and they really make me smile. Really. THANK YOU SO MUCH! SORRY I'M SO TERRIBLE!