Chapter 24: Are We Standing Still?
"Um…Ray?" Tyson stands timidly at the entrance to the living room, half hiding behind the wall as if it will protect him. I don't look over, my eyes remaining on the cards I am holding up while I contemplate my next move. "Who's that?"
I glance up over my cards at the man in question, before shaking my head as if it's not an important issue and letting him know I am ending my turn.
"Young Master Kai seems to think I need a babysitter," I respond with a slight hint of sarcasm, stressing the title a little too much. We are seated at the coffee table, me on the floor in front of the television and my new companion seated on the couch across from me. The man doesn't react at first which just makes Tyson more curious.
"Do you need a babysitter?" Tyson looks between us confused and scratches his head.
"I'm not a babysitter," is the only retaliation I get before he throws a set of cards down and ends his turn. I pick up a card and smirk before throwing all of mine down.
"I win again," I beam. No response. He wasn't a man of many words. I could get short clipped responses from him for most of my questions but when he decided they weren't questions worth responses…I got nothing. In the past few hours I had barely managed to get his name out of him, which…right now, I can't even recall. I had been deterred from caring after finding out WHY he was there in the first place.
After successfully cleaning the counter, cabinets, floor and the bottle of every drop of juice I could manage to reach, I had returned the juice to the refrigerator – sans a cap, as Tyson had either taken it with him or it had dropped and rolled somewhere unseen. Wherever it was, I couldn't find it. Declaring it not as important as tracking Tyson down for an explanation, I abandoned the fruitless search and wandered my way through the house.
I had knocked on his door, Max's door, checked all the empty rooms, the gym, and even my room on some off chance that he'd decided it was a great place to hide. He had not been in any of them. He hadn't seemed to be anywhere. Either that or he was purposely ignoring my politeness and was just not answering.
I had sighed and resigned myself to taking my own shower and getting dressed. I was sticky in places I didn't want to be and tracking down Tyson outside would be a much different kind of hunt. He could be just about anywhere and it wouldn't be like tracking down Max where I was limited to the places around school. It was a pretty big city and he wouldn't be at work for at least one more day, unless he had decided to stop by to iron out the details of his time off.
I was actually kind of upset that Tyson had chosen to leave. He knew I would want to talk about whatever it was that seemed to be bothering him. That and the fact that it was just more comforting when all my friends were accounted for, he could have at least said where he was going…
So I had showered and dressed and did all my normal morning preparations before prancing down the hallway. I had snatched my phone from the kitchen on my way past, also realizing I had cracked it a little when I had dropped it earlier. Not enough to need a new one but enough to add more annoyance to my already souring mood.
I'd quickly sent Kai that text I had been saving in the back of my brain among the other things I had been agonizing over in my journey through the house.
Was that some new reward system we are using now if I display good behavior? Do I get a say on my reward?
Knowing he was most likely on a plane and wouldn't respond right away, I had switched over to Max's texts. An unopened one had arrived asking if anything was new and fervently asking for an answer as soon as possible. I wondered if he knew Kai was on his way back or if he hadn't received word from Hiro yet on the changes that had happened.
I pulled on my coat, opened the door and was halfway through typing a response when I bumped right into something solid and muscular that was completely blocking the way out and almost causing me to drop my phone again without warning.
"Sorry…" I mumbled absently, regarding the man who was standing there and rubbing my face where I had impacted with his back which is facing me, before it clicks in my head what had just happened. I had looked up at the man, who was rather large and whom I had never seen before, and was frozen in place, unsure of how I should be feeling. Why was he on the porch? Was he stopping by for a visit? Why didn't he knock? What does he want? He hadn't even turned around when I had run into him or accepted my apology for running into him. He wasn't even looking at me, as if this was an ordinary occurrence. Why isn't he saying anything? Isn't he cold?
The man was not wearing anything to battle the chilling air of winter and besides his being there in general, that's the strangest thing I can find about this. I mean, what isn't normal about a man I've never met just chilling on my porch without a word or introduction and blocking all ways of leaving the house. A thought struck me that he'd been sent by Kai's father to kidnap me or throw me in a river and a swift bout of panic ran through my body, but I stopped these thoughts after realizing that I had been gawking at him long enough for him to already have done that and been over with it.
So I shook my head and decided the only way to find out would be to ask.
"Um, hello?" I started, hoping that I didn't come off as being rude with the hand I had waved in front of his face to get his attention since he wasn't even taking the time to look over at me. "Can I help you?"
He didn't move or look down at me to acknowledge that he was listening. I started to think it was a hopeless endeavor and that I would have to find a different approach but then he'd cleared his throat.
"Young Master Kai has given me instructions to not let you leave." I blinked, thinking maybe I had heard wrong. Young Master Kai? Instructions not to leave? A watchdog?! Seriously?
I had groaned so loudly that I'm sure the neighbors heard me, even if they were all inside. His big build and strong stance had made it clear that I wasn't making it anywhere off of that porch without a fight of some sort… So after some heavy persuasion techniques and a lot of pointless sweet talking, I had convinced him that guarding me INSIDE was a better choice than freezing OUTSIDE. At first we had just stared at each other across the room, neither one of us really knowing what should be communicated. He'd been less inclined to make himself comfortable, even at my insistence but eventually I had starting making suggestions of things to do and we'd settled on this card game and he'd finally started to seem like a somewhat normal person just over for a friendly visit. As normal as someone who doesn't really talk can be anyway.
Clearly Tyson doesn't see the progress we've made because he still seems very uncomfortable and out of place. BUT considering that I had found the man at the door and made absolutely no amount of progress at even leaving the tiny space he'd granted me on the porch, chances were Tyson had really been in the house the entire time and had just been completely ignoring me after all. How rude?
"So Tyson… About this morning…" I start, acting like having a strange man in our living room is no longer worth further effort of explaining and that since he's probably being paid, doesn't talk much to begin with that he probably wouldn't be discussing anything that was going on here with anyone else, except maybe Kai as his…employer? And I would end up telling Kai eventually myself anyway. IF I thought it worth telling. It just might be as Tyson swallows and avoids making eye contact. He takes a few steps forward and more out in the open but doesn't seem any less anxious.
"It was just an a…accident. There's nothing going on…" his voice gets lower the more he speaks until he eventually cuts himself off with a cough and looks away completely.
"Hmm, fine." I'll let it slide for now as it might be something he doesn't want to discuss with strangers. Even paid ones. "Did you want to join us? I've never played this game before but apparently I am really good at it." The man glares at me in response. I was beginning to learn how to read his face pretty well, which was making me a little proud of myself.
"Beginners luck." He huffs and I roll my eyes.
"What are you playing?" Tyson shows some interest at the mention of a game.
"Rummy?" I look to the man for confirmation and he nods in agreement. I pick up all the cards from the table and start to shuffle them. "Mr. Babysitter here seems to be taking it easy on me." I smile a playful smile and he just stares again but a tiny shift of his face lets me know he's partially amused.
"Oh, I've played that before! I think I remember how." Tyson finally enters the room fully and comes over to sit down at the side of the table, a lot more relaxed. "I'm Tyson by the way!" he offers the man a greeting. I half hope he returns it so I can be reminded of his name but he doesn't, instead just offering up another nod. Maybe he'd never actually introduced himself after all and I had just imagined it somewhere? Sam maybe? Or Steve? I guess it wasn't really important.
We play a few rounds before it gets close to lunch time and I leave the two of them alone to maybe play a few games by themselves so I can go make some sandwiches or something small to munch on. Tyson hasn't stopped trying to get our guest to talk but it has resulted in just about as much progress as my own attempts except Tyson does enough talking for the both of them, droning on stories about himself and us and work and just about anything he can think of.
Eventually he finds his way to the kitchen alone, announcing that our friend is now in the hallway guarding the door and had declined the invitation to lunch. I start to wonder if he shares a shift with someone else. Does he ever eat or sleep? How long is he staying? He has to eat eventually right? He had also declined my offer of tea this morning… Is he a robot? I would have to ask Young Master Kai later on how to housekeep him.
"Are we going to keep avoiding it or are you eventually going to tell me what's up with you?" I sit down at the table across from Tyson after we have finished eating and I had cleared our places of plates and silverware. I look him over for any sign that he'll respond. After getting none, I continue. "So you're telling me that I have to keep asking until you get annoyed enough to spill it?" Of course I mean the issue at hand and not the juice earlier. Still nothing. "Okay, then I'll just start guessing…" I stop and tap my fingers on the table while I try to think of the most terrible thing that I can that would be enough to get Tyson all mixed up and pressured into talking.
"S…stop. Okay, okay…" Apparently my tapping had been enough. Go me! Tyson takes a deep breath and looks around the room at anywhere that isn't in my direction. Then he just looks down at the table and places his hands there, picking at his thumb nail uncomfortably. "But you have to promise not to laugh…or judge…or judge laugh…" He grumbles.
"Judge laugh? Do I do that?" I consider it. Does teasing count as judge laughing? I guess it could...
"Raaaaay," he whines, finally looking up at me. "Just…it's embarrassing."
"More embarrassing than anything I'VE done in the past few weeks?" I return with a scoffing laugh. He tilts his head in confusion as if he hadn't been there to witness me at my worst. "Okay, maybe it was only embarrassing to me…" I shrug it off. "It can't be THAT bad is all I'm saying. Tys, we've been friends for a long time…"
"That's the problem," he mumbles under his breath as he crosses his arms and looks away again.
"What?" I try to get him to repeat himself just in case I had heard wrong.
"That's the problem!" he does repeat, not providing additional clarity as he loudly scrapes away from the table and stands up. He turns his back to me and takes a small pace away. I wait, expecting him to continue eventually. Even if he didn't intend to, the silence would only push him forward anyway. "Friends!" he finally says after a brief moment. "We're friends!" He throws his hands up and spins around again, taking the pace back to the table. I raise an eyebrow and something in his tone makes me think that he's not referring to him and me. I draw a mental map inside my head of the tiny incidents over the past few days.
"Max." I say with confidence after a few deductions. "I thought you made up after we talked. It's been days… Are you still mad at him?" I still seem to be missing something. No matter how many times I put everything together, it doesn't add up.
"No!" Tyson huffs and puffs out his cheeks in frustration. I hope he doesn't really think I plan to keep guessing. I was only joking before when I said that, to be annoying. When it came to actual guessing at what Tyson was thinking…I failed miserably. I'm sure that's obvious right now as well with all this progress we're making. "No," he repeats with finality, calmer, as if deciding on something. "Can I…ask…" He chews the corner of his lip. "Can you tell me…" His brows furrow. "Ray. I need to know. Did I…do something to you? L…l…like bad? Like…" He can't finish and I pale, not expecting that line of conversation as we had been discussing Max. At least I had thought we were. Were we? See what I mean about knowing what Tyson is thinking? I fail every time. Maybe we were discussing me this entire time after all.
Before answering, I play it back again. No. Max was definitely involved…but how?
"What…" I stop myself, unsure if I really want to know. But then Max's words hit me. 'I thought we were going to be better about secrets from now on.' And he's right. It isn't fair to anyone to keep hiding things. Especially between friends. So I force myself to continue despite myself. "…do you think happened?"
Even as the knots form in my stomach, I try not to let it show on my face or enter my voice. The fear and shame I had been hiding inside myself. I was good with him not remembering. At least then it was my own problem to carry with me. He could act normal and I could move on like it didn't happen. But now? Now it was something that we were possibly sharing. Now it WAS a real secret that we were possibly sharing between just us. That made it feel much more scandalous and wrong than it really was.
"I don't know." He becomes serious, getting lost in his thoughts. I can almost see him picking at the memories, asking them to come back to him. "But it has to be bad for you to make that face." My face? What kind of face was I making? Guess I wasn't as good at hiding it as I thought I was. But I relax, a relief washing over me at the fact that he didn't really know. A brief calm anyway. "The doctor explained what kind of drugs were in my system. Did I t…t…touch y…you or f…f…force you in s…some way?"
Now I stand up from the table with a motion so adamantly dismissing that idea that no one could misunderstand just how ridiculous it is.
"Of course not! No!" I reject everything about it. "I didn't let you get that far and you passed out. You just SAID something about Max's smell and touching and then you were gone." I decide not to mention the fact that he also licked me. Just the thought makes me shiver and break out in goosebumps, or hives...they could be hives. I hadn't really been thinking about what I was saying being more hard pressed to get any weird ideas out of Tyson head, but I hear myself now and I freeze. My eyes immediately find his, something clicking and everything suddenly making complete sense. "Max. You wanted me to be Max." Instantly it all feels much less creepy and more much more manageable. "Everything you said and did. Being weird at just the mention of his name. Freaking out when thinking about contacting him. Refusing to talk to him even though you promise you aren't angry at him. Wanting to… It's all Max!" All the lights inside my head illuminate everything as brightly and clearly as possible. "You want to touch Max!"
In retrospect, 'touch' was probably not the best word to use. Seeing as how Tyson just completely shut down, paled, started shaking, and flushed all at the same time before swiftly darting out of the kitchen and locking himself in his room.
I quickly follow and knock on the door.
"Tyson, come on. It's not that serious. It's me you're talking to. I've been you." I'm not lying but somehow it feels like a lie anyway. Sure, I knew what he was feeling. Sure, I'd been in that position of having feelings for a friend that I couldn't face or explain and had no idea what to do with. But did I really know how Tyson was feeling? I mean, he was the one most uncomfortable with my relationship with Kai. He had to be embarrassed about that fact just as much as having those feelings himself would be to him.
The bodyguard clears his throat as if to notify me of his presence that hasn't left the end of the hallway blocking the front door from any exits. I shoot him a glare and he raises an eyebrow. I ignore it and try again.
"Listen, Tys, you're not weird." I flinch, another truth that feels like a lie. I mean, he's not weird for his feelings but he's definitely weird.
I hear another noise from the direction of the bodyguard and glance over, giving him a 'like you could do better' look. He's not hiding his amusement at all. I would make another sour gesture at how much I appreciate his opinion but that wouldn't do anything to help so I refrain.
I need a different approach. Lucky for Tyson, both my cell phone and the house phone start ringing in tandem from the kitchen, completely diverting my attention.
"I'll be back," I growl a promise to the closed door and make my way back to the kitchen to answer them.
AN: I feel like this chapter was a little dry which is why it took me so long to post, but I feel like I have to resolve my mistakes for closure before fixing them later. So all of this might change when I revamp. Sorry for making you my guinea pigs… I really should learn to make a plot design before plunging in. haha, we live we learn! Love you and enjoy the rest of your weeks!