Year 3: Left Behind

Chapter 26: February 2017

By the time February rolled around, Molly's three scared S's were starting to feel less like her calling and more like her prison. As fun as it was constantly learning new things, Molly's life was starting to get redundant. In the library, she watched as other students studied together, shared each other's notes, asked each other questions when they didn't know the answer. In the common room, she listened to friends share stories, spread gossip, and play games. In the dorm, she looked on jealously as Flora, Amber, and Eliza would sit huddled together on Flora's bed and she would glance a little longingly at Sarah's usually empty one before pulling the curtains and ensconcing herself in her own private reading sanctuary.

It wasn't that Molly didn't enjoy all the extra studying and reading she was doing. She just missed having people to share it with. Whenever she came across a really interesting new fact, she'd look up, ready to share it, only to realize there was nobody there. When she memorized all the runes from the list of abstract nouns she'd pulled from her runic dictionary, there was nobody to celebrate with.

Though it was completely foolish and illogical, Molly missed the company of her friends. She missed Debbie and she missed Julie and she missed Sarah.

When Molly first realized it, she thought about approaching them sometime, seeing if they'd be interested in re-establishing their previous arrangement. But then Molly realized that this would never work. They had been the ones to stop being friends with her in the first place. And with the three of them playing Quidditch now, they were less than ideal candidates.

Molly didn't dwell on them for too long though. They weren't the only people she had connections with at Hogwarts. She had tons of family here that she could spend time with. In fact, two of her cousins were older than her, which could work out in her benefit. They could teach her things she hadn't learned in class yet. Fourth year and sixth year material.

With a new plan in place, Molly sought out the first relative she could find. She headed up to the common room, and upon crawling through the portrait hole, discovered that her older cousin Dominique was sitting at one of the tables with her friend Brooke, and both were doing their homework. Perfect.

"Hey Domi," Molly greeted her cousin as she took a seat across from her. "Hey Brooke."

"It's Molly, right?" Brooke asked.

Molly nodded. She didn't mind that Brooke was unsure. They'd only met a handful of times, since up until now, Molly hadn't really had much need to spend any time with her fourth year cousin.

"So what are you guys working on?" she asked, interestedly. She hoped it was transfiguration. She was in a transfiguration-y mood. Kind of like how people sometimes craved salty food, or chocolate. Molly was craving some transfiguration equations.

"We're making a list of ways that we can sneak up on Summer Snow," Brooke replied. "We're going to turn her hair green, but we have to catch her off guard. Ideally we'd do it while she was asleep, but we'd never manage to get into the Slytherin dorms."

"I wouldn't want to get into the Slytherin dorms," Dominique interjected. "Can you imagine how creepy it would be down there? Not to mention all those Slytherins in one place."

"Not all Slytherins are bad, you know," Molly pointed out, extremely disappointed that her cousin and her friend weren't doing homework after all.

"Yeah, but a lot of them are," Dominique retorted. "I'm not saying there aren't bad Gryffindors either. There are good and bad people in every house. But the ones down in Slytherin have a very specific hatred of us in Gryffindor, which would make being caught in their dorm that much more unpleasant."

Molly didn't argue the subject. It wasn't important anyway.

"Don't you two have homework you need to be doing?" Molly asked, hoping to prompt a study session amongst the three of them.

"Probably," Brooke shrugged. "But it can wait. It's not like we have anything due tomorrow."

"Ooh, except for that transfiguration assignment," Dominique pointed out.

Molly sat up straighter when she heard that. Transfiguration was exactly what she had been itching for.

"Yeah, but it's only five questions," Brooke waved Dominique off. "We can copy off Miles in first period. Professor Tonks will never know."

"You can't copy other people's homework!" Molly exclaimed. "That's cheating!"

"I'm sorry Molly, did you actually need something?" Dominique asked, rounding on Molly. She looked irritated, and Molly shrunk back a little.

"No, I was just hoping we could spend some time together. Maybe do some homework. That's all," Molly replied.

"Well Brooke and I are actually quite busy working on our Summer problem," Dominique said. "So unless you have any ideas that could be useful, why don't you just go study with your Ravenclaw friends?"

"Right," Molly nodded, getting the message. Obviously, she was unwanted, and she had no desire to overstay her welcome. "I'll leave you to it. I had some reading to do anyway."

Hurt and a little humiliated, Molly headed up to her dorm and closed herself inside the curtains of her four-poster bed. She wasn't in the mood to be around anyone else, not while she felt like this. She thought about doing some transfiguration reading, but she only had her third-year textbook, which she'd basically memorized cover to cover. She'd have to go down to the library to find any new and interesting material, and that was a journey she just wasn't up for. She would go tomorrow, when she was more up to it.

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The next day, Molly rallied and pushed thoughts of Dominique and Brooke from her mind. Just because they didn't want to study with her didn't mean her plan had been a disaster. She had other relatives. Dominique just wasn't the right choice.

Molly decided that her next attempt would be with her oldest cousin, Victoire. Victoire was a sixth-year, and would have homework much more on track with the level Molly had recently achieved anyway. After all, Molly was now almost exclusively performing her spells non-verbally, which was a sixth-year thing. Molly wasn't sure why she didn't just start with Victoire. Dominique was only a year ahead of her. What possible knowledge could she have shared with Molly?

It took some effort to locate Victoire. When Molly went looking for her eldest cousin after last period, she couldn't find her anywhere. She wasn't in the common room or the library, or even the sixth-year lounge. It wasn't until Molly stopped by the Great Hall for a bite of dinner that she caught sight of her cousin further up the table.

Taking the opportunity while she could, Molly joined Victoire and her sixth year friends, taking a seat on Victoire's left.

"Hey Victoire," Molly greeted her. "How's it going?"

"Hello," Victoire replied, something about her voice sounding very off.

"Everything alright?" Molly asked, sensing that there was something different about her cousin today.

"Don't expect much out of her," one of Victoire's friends – was her name Carla? – leaned over Victoire to say. "She's been having a rough time of it. Hasn't been saying all that much lately."

"Why not?" Molly frowned. Had something happened that she didn't know about?

The one who's name might have been Carla went to answer, but then the other – Molly was pretty sure she was named Brianna – cut her off. The two began communicating with a series of words that meant very little to Molly, but Molly got the distinct impression that there was something they weren't telling her – something Victoire hadn't wanted Molly to know about.

While the two girls argued, Molly tried to get her cousin's attention again.

"So Victoire, I thought I might study with you and your friends later," Molly said. "Assuming you guys have homework to do, that is. Recently I've been working on some N.E.W.T. level stuff, just extracurricularly, and thought it would be nice to study with some real N.E.W.T. students."

"That sounds nice," Victoire muttered, not taking her eyes off her plate.

It was like Victoire wasn't even hearing what Molly was saying. Her eyes were glassy and unfocused, her voice monotone and almost dead-sounding.

"Hey! Victoire!" Molly tried snapping her fingers in her cousin's face, nudging her in the shoulder, even shouting in her ear, but nothing seemed to get Victoire's attention.

"Like I said," Carla said, apparently done arguing with Brianna. "Don't expect to get much of a response out of her."

"Or any response, really," Brianna added, a little bitterly.

"But what's wrong with her?" Molly asked, still not understanding what was going on.

"Don't worry about it, kid," Brianna replied. "She'll come out of it in her own time. We're keeping an eye on her. If it gets serious, we'll let someone know."

"Alright," Molly said, realizing that they weren't going to tell her what was going on. And if she was being perfectly honest, Molly didn't really care. Whatever it was, Victoire would be fine.

She'd gleaned a small bit of information from the two girl's 'coded' discussion, and she'd surmised that Victoire had gone through a rather painful experience and was just working her way through it. This was some kind of strange healing process.

Molly didn't have time to help Victoire to heal. Her friends could do that. Molly needed to find someone to study with, and in her current state, Victoire would clearly be no help whatsoever. So Molly moved on.

She headed up to the common room, expecting to just head back to her dorm and do some reading, and then try again with a new relative the next day, but when she entered the common room, she noticed her cousin Louis with his friend Justin and thought she might as well give them a shot.

"Hey Louis," Molly greeted her cousin, taking a seat with the two boys. They had books spread out on the table before them and pieces of parchment strewn everywhere. They had to be doing homework. "Hey Justin. What're you guys up to?"

"We're actually working on this thing for astronomy club," Louis revealed. "Take a look, it's really cool."

Molly shifted in her chair to better see what the boys were working on and found that it was actually quite interesting. She hadn't done as much extra reading into astronomy, and the two boys were clearly working on a project far beyond the scope of second, or even third year material. For a while, Molly let the boys teach her a bit about the stars they were studying, enjoying the fact that they were so passionate about the subject. This was what she'd been missing since she'd stopped being friends with Debbie, Sarah, and Julie: the back and forth, the enjoyment that comes with the sharing of knowledge.

Once Louis and Justin had explained all about the stars and such, Molly tried to reciprocate by telling them about this really interesting article she'd found in a magazine about innovative herbology practices. It had been really fascinating, and she'd been considering trying some of them out when they got assigned their next long-term herbology project. But neither Louis nor Justin seemed at all interested, and instead seemed to just want to get back to their astronomy work.

Molly sighed, realizing that Louis was a lost cause too. Though he'd been her best candidate so far, she couldn't spend the rest of her time at Hogwarts only talking about astronomy. She needed someone who was interested in more than one thing. Because astronomy would get boring fast. In fact, it already was starting to. One thing Molly had always had to do when studying was constantly rotate the subject she was working on. She couldn't spend too long on any particular subject, or she would get bored. She had to keep changing things up to keep herself interested. Louis and Justin had one focus and one focus only. And Molly couldn't be that single-minded.

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The next day, Molly sought out her sister. None of her cousins had worked out so far, but Molly wondered if Lucy wouldn't make a better choice. They shared significantly more DNA with each other than with any of her cousins, and now that Lucy was at school, she seemed to be becoming more mature.

Molly found Lucy in the library with a couple of other first years that were introduced to her as Tina and Ashley. Molly sat with the three for a full five minutes before getting up and leaving outright. Unfortunately, Lucy appeared to be still the same immature child she'd been before coming to Hogwarts. And for another thing, the girls were all struggling to understand the technical differences in the casting of locomotor mortis and locomotor wibbly, which was so simple Molly couldn't bear to listen to their questions.

Molly had one cousin left she could try connecting with – James. She was doubtful, but figured she'd at least seek him out. She found him in the common room with one of his fellow first years, and when she saw them lounging on one of the sofas stuffing their faces full of chocolate frogs and licorice wands, she just turned around and walked back out. There was no way James would make a better study companion than any of her previously attempted study companions, and Molly was still a little exhausted from being around Lucy and her nonsense for a whole five minutes.

With all her relative options exhausted, Molly found herself sitting down on a bench next to a window in the seventh-floor corridor. She couldn't be out of options, she just had to figure out where to look next. Her problem with James and Lucy was that they were too young. So Molly automatically ruled out all first years, and by extension, anyone who was younger than her. And Molly already knew everyone in her own year, and knew they were terrible options, so she ruled them out too.

The idea of befriending an older student had promise, but Molly couldn't think of any older student who would willingly befriend a random third year girl, besides her cousins, who were already out. So she ruled out the older students as options as well.

That pretty much ruled out everyone in the building except for teachers.

And then Molly had a thought.

The school was full of professors, all of whom were much smarter and probably more interesting than any of the students here. They were who Molly needed to befriend. Once she befriended them, she could have intelligent conversations with people who actually had intelligent things to say. It was the perfect plan.

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Molly started with Professor Longbottom, because she'd known him – just barely – before starting at Hogwarts, and he had a connection with her family. After class the following day, she sought him out in his classroom and found him watering plants in greenhouse five.

"Hello Professor Longbottom," Molly greeted him, entering the greenhouse and immediately putting on protective gloves, as the sign on the door instructed. "How are you today?"

"I'm well Molly," Professor Longbottom replied politely. "And yourself?"

"Quite well," Molly nodded. She grabbed a nearby watering can. "Can I help you water these plants?" she offered.

Professor Longbottom agreed and Molly went to fill up her can with water.

"Just watch out," he warned as she approached the first bunch of plants. "They're carnivorous, so don't get too close to them."

"Noted," Molly nodded, keeping her distance as she began to pour the water. "So I was reading this article about innovative herbology practices," she said, broaching the subject she'd tried to interest Louis and his friend with the other day.

"Was it the one in Herbology Today?" Professor Longbottom inquired excitedly.

"Yes," Molly confirmed. "Have you read it?"

"I have in fact," Professor Longbottom replied. "In fact, I was thinking of implementing some of them in future assignments."

"I was thinking the same thing!" Molly exclaimed, pleased to be finally having an intelligent conversation with a fellow human.

The two carried on for a good half hour, by which time they'd finished watering all the plants in the greenhouse, and Professor Longbottom started packing up for the day.

"Well, it was nice to have your help, Molly," the herbology professor said. "But I'm afraid I have to grade some papers now."

"Of course," Molly nodded. He had a job to do after all. He wasn't here just to be her friend.

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The following day, Molly tried the same practice out on Professor Longbottom's wife. Molly found the potions professor down in the storerooms, taking potions ingredients out of a couple of large boxes and putting them on shelves.

"What are you up to?" Molly asked.

"Just restocking the shelves in here," Professor Abbott-Longbottom replied. "Got to keep up our potions stores. Can't be running out of valerian root or unicorn horns."

"Would you like some help?" Molly offered. Offering to help with a task had gotten her in the door with Professor Longbottom the day before, and she hoped it would do the same now.

"Sure," Professor Abbott-Longbottom agreed, gesturing for Molly to unload the boxes while she put the ingredients on the shelves. "I have to say, I'm glad to see you taking a break from all the studying," the professor added.

Molly nodded. "It was getting kind of tiresome, never having any real conversations," Molly admitted.

"I hope that means you've found some new friends," Professor Abbott-Longbottom said.

"I think I'm in the process," Molly replied. Really, it all depended how this interaction, and the ones she had yet to have with her other professors, went.

"That's really good," Professor Abbott-Longbottom smiled. "I'm proud of you, Molly."

Molly smiled. The praise felt nice. "Have you read the latest issue of Perfect Potions?" she asked, naming a scholarly potions magazine.

"I read some of it," Professor Abbott-Longbottom replied. "But I haven't finished yet."

"There's this great article near the end," Molly replied, hoping her teacher hadn't read it yet so that she could tell her all about it. "It's about the relationship between cauldron thickness and the type of material it's made out of. Really interesting stuff."

"No, I haven't actually gotten to that one yet," Professor Abbott-Longbottom admitted.

Molly launched into an explanation of the author's hypothesis, study, and conclusions. By the time the two had finished restocking the potions cupboard, they were knee-deep in a discussion about the benefits of thick pewter cauldrons versus thin brass ones.

"Well, I'm sorry to have to end this, but I'm afraid I've got some lesson plans to finish," Professor Abbott-Longbottom said, vanishing the empty boxes. "And I'm sure you're anxious to get back to your new friends. I'll see you in class tomorrow."

"Right," Molly nodded, deflating just a bit. "See you tomorrow."

As Molly headed back upstairs, she crossed the Entrance Hall just as Julie and Debbie came in from outside, clearly returning from Quidditch practice. There was an awkward moment where none of them said anything, and then the Ravenclaws headed for the Grand Staircase and Molly ducked into the Great Hall until they got far enough away that it wouldn't be uncomfortable walking all the way up to the seventh floor.

When Molly returned to the Entrance Hall and then started to climb the stairs, she found herself feeling sad. Being friends with her professors was all well and good, but she really did miss having friends her own age. Friends who weren't on the job and having to cut their conversations short to go back to work. Friends who were as invested in the relationship as Molly was. Molly hated to admit it, but not even her professors would replace what she'd lost.