Year 3: Left Behind

Chapter 30: June 2017

As predicted, Molly's exams were so easy, she could have taken them in her sleep. She didn't need to receive her grades back to know that she'd aced them. The only question was how many bonus points she would be awarded for all the extra information she crammed onto her exam sheet. Just because there hadn't been bonus questions didn't mean there wasn't an opportunity for bonus marks.

With classes basically over though, Molly suddenly found herself with a lot more free time on her hands than usual, and not much to do with it. She'd pretty much either burned all her bridges, or else simply tired out all her professors by now. And even if she hadn't, they were much too busy frantically grading exams in an effort to get the grades out on time.

Which left Molly to her own devices. She started by working on her summer homework, but finished that all too quickly. She couldn't start reading her fourth years textbooks until the set list came out, and that wouldn't be for another month at least. That left Molly with one option left – reading anything and everything she could find in the library.

But when it's all you do all day long with no interruption, Molly discovered that even reading gets boring after a while.

And while all her classmates, all the other students, were celebrating and having a grand old time, Molly was bored out of her mind. She hated it.

End of term couldn't come quick enough.

The last thing to take place before they all headed home was the big Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Quidditch game. Normally, this would have had no interest for Molly. But she was so completely and utterly bored, she decided to attend, just for something different to do. When it was over, she could go back to reading about rare Australian magical creatures afterwards.

She chose a seat between a group of fifth years and a group of seventh years. Neither group paid Molly any attention, which was fine by her. She had no interest in conversing with them anyway. The game began, and Molly watched passively as the chasers and keepers tossed the ball around, the beaters swung their bats around, and the seekers zipped back and forth across the pitch in search of the snitch. At one point, a bludger came so near to hitting Molly's head that she and those around her had to duck as it zoomed past. At least it was magically enchanted to go after moving targets and wouldn't circle back for them.

About halfway through the game, Molly found herself getting bored and itching for her book on Australian magical creatures and decided that enough was enough. She'd tried doing something different and wasn't having any fun at all. She may as well go back to her dorm and be productive, even if she was tired of reading all the time.

She shuffled her way out of the stands down onto the grounds behind the pitch. She glanced up at the castle, and then back at the pitch just in time to see Sarah score a goal. Instinctively, Molly started to cheer for the girl, before realizing that she wasn't in the stands anymore and her cheering was pointless.

She turned to go, but then stopped herself. Sarah was playing a pretty good game. She'd already scored three goals on Slytherin herself, and the game could still go on for a while. It was against all logic and reason, but something told Molly to stay and watch. So Molly hung back, loitering at the entrance to the stands instead of going back up into them and bothering everybody.

She watched as Sarah dodged bludgers, made some excellent assists, and even scored a few more goals. Each time the crowd cheered for the third year girl, Molly found herself cheering as well. A smile even began forming on Molly's face before she realized what was happening and wiped it off.

The whole thing was insane. Molly had no idea what she was doing or why. She'd written Sarah off a long time ago. So why suddenly now was she interested in her former friend again?

Tearing her eyes away from the game, Molly reminded herself that this was a bad idea. Becoming friends with Sarah would be unproductive, and possibly even counter-productive, and Molly absolutely could not consider it. Shaking all thoughts of Sarah from her head, Molly stalked back up to the castle, went straight for her dormitory, and sat down with her library book, determined to only think about rare Australian creatures for the rest of the day.

MmMmMmMmMmM

The noise from the party downstairs was so loud, it was impossible for Molly to tune it out. She'd closed the door to the dormitory and the curtains around her four-poster bed, but without a silencing charm, there was no blocking it out. And even then, the vibrations from the music and dancing would continue to be felt, even up in the tower.

For the party to have been this boisterous, Gryffindor must have won the Quidditch game in the end. Molly didn't know this for sure, because she'd refused to emerge from her cocoon, even when Flora, Eliza, and Amber invited her to come downstairs. But she was certain she was right in her hypothesis.

But now, for some reason, even though Molly absolutely was not a person who was interested in parties, she wanted to go downstairs. Not all of her, of course. Most of her wanted to stay upstairs where it was quiet(ish) and comfortable and where she had space to breathe without dozens of other people surrounding her. But a small part of her kind of wished it was participating in whatever was going on downstairs. A small part of her wanted to be having fun. Not that she would have fun if she went down to the party. Molly knew that. So she didn't know why she kept thinking about it.

And for some reason, Molly kept wondering how many more goals Sarah had made after she'd left the pitch. She wondered if she'd made any spectacular moves, or impressive maneuvers. Not that Molly would have been able to tell that it was impressive if she'd been there, besides by the cheers of the crowd and the comments of the announcer.

Molly wasn't curious about any of these things. She didn't want to know how the game had ended, or how the party was going. She just couldn't seem to shake them from her head either. Which was making it really difficult to read about rare Australian magical creatures.

Molly supposed she could cast a silencing charm and try to go to sleep. But she'd know the party was happening, and then she'd just spend the night wondering whether it was over or not and whether her roommates had turned in yet or not. And then she wouldn't get any sleep.

So Molly chose instead to continue sitting on her bed, listening to the noise, and refusing to go downstairs and join in. It was the only thing to do.

It was a long night.

MmMmMmMmMmM

The next day, Molly awoke early, returned her book to the library – she'd have to check it out again at the beginning of next term – packed her things, and headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast. It was finally time to go home, and Molly was exceptionally eager. She needed to get out of this castle, clear her head. She needed to be away from Sarah and all the other students and refocus. Her father could help her with that. She just needed a good hard reset.

The Hogwarts Express would leave Hogsmeade station at eleven o'clock, so Molly headed down around ten to make sure she got a good seat. She was the first student to do so, and so she had her pick of compartments. She chose one in the middle of the train, figuring this would make it easier to locate her family once she arrived at King's Cross.

It was another half hour before the rest of the school started making their way down to the village. When the first few students began to board the train, Molly found herself watching it all happen from her window. She had nothing worth reading, no work to do, and nothing else to occupy her mind. But Molly was no stranger to sitting with her own thoughts. A healthy person, Molly thought, should be comfortable just sitting and thinking sometimes. To always need something to occupy one's mind created a cluttered mind, and a cluttered mind was a disorganized mind. Molly could use the train ride to organize her mind.

She saw some of her relatives boarding the train and found herself smiling to see them with their friends. They looked like they were enjoying themselves, and that's all Molly could really wish for them. To be happy. Victoire was looking a lot better than she was over the winter, and her sister Lucy was positively beaming as she boarded the train with her friends.

Molly never smiled that widely.

She had no idea why the thought had popped into her head, but there it was. And it was true, she never did smile like Lucy just then. She wondered why that was. She was happy, wasn't she? She loved learning, which is almost all she ever did. Doing something you love all the time should be enough to make a person happy, right?

When she was reading a boring book, she would switch it for a more interesting one. When she was getting tired of a particular subject, she would switch to a new one. It wasn't as though she was living a monotonous life reading only about one subject and nothing else. Molly was content with her life – but contentment didn't make a person beam.

So what did? What did a person need in their life to make them beam the way Lucy was beaming? Molly replayed the scene she'd just witnessed in her head. Lucy and her two friends walked up onto the platform. They had clearly been in the middle of a conversation of some sort. One of the friends had said something that made the other two laugh. Then the darker-haired friend had pointed at Lucy and she'd smiled so brightly Molly almost had to shield her eyes.

But what had the dark-haired friend said, Molly wondered. What had they been discussing? It could have been anything, really. They could have been discussing the weather, school, the train ride home. Molly somehow doubted it was any of these topics, knowing her sister. And then Molly realized the key factor that she'd been missing.

Lucy had been with friends.

The conversation wouldn't have happened, the bright smile wouldn't have happened, if there'd been nobody to say the thing that had caused it. Even if Molly figured out what they'd been talking about, it would be no use to just her. She'd need other people to talk to in order to re-create the scenario that had made Lucy so happy.

And Molly realized the thing that all her teachers had been trying to tell her all year. The thing that she'd been overlooking.

Molly had been right that friendship wasn't the best thing for her grades. Molly had been right that befriending Sarah would have lessened her own academic achievement. But Molly had been wrong about something else.

She'd been wrong that grades were the only important thing. Sure, they were the only important thing when all you're looking at is success. On the road she was on now, Molly would succeed in anything she set her mind to. She could be a healer, or a curse-breaker, or Minister for Magic, someday. Her father had been right that in order to focus on her schoolwork, she needed to cut her friends out of the equation.

But life was about more than just good grades. Molly hadn't been able to see past grades, because it's what her father had drilled into her from day one. Good grades were all that mattered to him, and they'd been her only goal so far. But Molly didn't want her life to be completely about getting good grades. She wanted to get good grades so that she could succeed and have a good life. But her life was happening now, and she wasn't enjoying it. She wanted to enjoy it. Wanted to do more than read every book in the library, complete every homework assignment perfectly. She wanted to be happy, to smile, to feel joy.

And in order to do that, Molly needed friends.

And Molly had basically spent the entire term alienating the one person who had any interest in being her friend.

A tear fell from Molly's left eye and she wiped it away furiously. How could she have been so stupid, so blind? How could she have let her father cloud her vision for so long? How had she not seen that she'd been shutting herself away when she could have been having fun?

Of course grades were important, but they didn't mean anything without all the rest of it. And now Molly was afraid it was too late. Sarah would have moved on by now and found new friends. Maybe she was even friends with Flora Bailey and the others. It's not as though Molly had been paying attention, after all.

Luckily, Molly knew someone who was an expert in this particular department. Her mother, Audrey, had lots of friends. And Lucy had always been closer with Audrey than with Percy. Probably why she was already living a better life than Molly while she was only in her first year.

Molly suddenly felt a deep sadness for her father wash over her.

What was his life like? Did he have any joy in it? He had almost no friends. He had a few colleagues that he would get a drink with occasionally, but not all that often. He spent all his time working and none of his time doing things that were enjoyable.

What had his school days been like? Had Percy Weasley had friends, or had he been like Molly had been all year? Solitary, studious, closed off? Molly knew there'd been a time right after he'd graduated when he hadn't spoken with any of his family members for a time. She'd never known why, but maybe this was it. Was that the same road she'd been headed down too? Because she definitely didn't want that.

Maybe Percy needed help too. Once Molly figured things out for herself, she could help guide her father in the right direction. She could teach him about the important things in life, and show him that work and success isn't all that matters.

The train pulled into King's Cross station, and Molly marvelled at how quickly the time had passed. Only moments ago she'd been at Hogsmeade station, or so it had seemed.

She looked out the window and glanced up and down the platform, in an effort to locate her parents. She spotted her mother standing up near the front of the platform, and so Molly grabbed her things and began to make her way in that direction.

As she walked, Molly found herself filled with a new sense of purpose. Just as she'd thought, this summer would be a great opportunity to get away and clear her head. But she wasn't just resetting herself, as she'd thought. She was going to reinvent herself. And it all started now, with a greeting and a hug from her mother, and a friendly 'how was your term?' to her sister.

If Molly was anything, it was determined. Whatever she set her mind to, she succeeded. So now, she was going to set her mind to this. Finding a way to make the most of her life. And she was going to succeed.