A/N: It's been SOOOO long since I wrote a House short, and I don't think I've ever done a Hameron Christmas fic, now that I think about it! I sat down to write this thinking I'd have plenty of time to do a Christmas fic for both of my fandoms, and then this one got longer and longer and longer, and I procrastinated to the absolute best of my ability, and here we are on the 23rd with this one just about getting finished on time! Oops! Still, I enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoy reading it :)
Happy holidays, guys. I know things are a bit crazy for a lot of you this season (I live in the UK and probably don't need to say any more on that subject for my fellow Brits) but I hope that you all have as good a time as you can and that those of you that have already enjoyed your celebrations were able to do so as best as possible :)
Enjoy, and please review!
"What's your poison?"
Chase asks as he removes his hat and gloves and shakes out his hair.
"It was going to be a pilsner, but Marie recommended this stuff."
Foreman gestures towards a steamed-up glass trickling condensation onto a festive green napkin, his expression suggesting he's undecided as to whether he appreciates the pretty young bartender's input. Nevertheless, when Marie comes over to welcome the surgeon and take his order, Chase nods agreeably when she suggests that he try their homemade spiced wine and pulls up a stool to sit beside his colleague.
"Is it still snowing?"
Foreman asks, and Chase makes a seesaw gesture with his hand; his skin ruddy and raw in spite of his gloves.
"On and off, but nothing like yesterday. It's colder, though, and the temperature's supposed to keep dropping for the next twenty-four hours."
"Wonderful," Foreman grumbles, before turning to Chase and raising a brow as he grins. "Speaking of arctic temperatures, have you heard from Cameron?"
"Not yet."
Chase shakes his head as he adopts his own knowing smirk.
"I'm surprised, I figured she'd have come demanding blood by now."
Forman chuckles, and the blond shrugs as he points out that he doesn't find this breed of fury to really be Cameron's style.
"Maybe not... You don't think we went too far, do you?"
The neurologist asks as his grin takes on an uneasy cast, and Chase frowns as he bristles slightly at the insinuation; swiftly refusing any inference that what they've done might be considered bullying as he reminds his companion
"Didn't we agree that the best gift either of us could give Allie was to loosen her up a little?"
"Yes, but we came to that agreement after quite a few beers, and before Allie drew the short straw for working the Christmas shift."
"Is that what she told you?"
"She said she was working."
"Yeah, because she offered. No one made her do it. Same as last year; she and House just scheduled themselves in as normal. I asked her about it, and she pretty much ignored the question until I suggested she was vying for alone time with the boss... She got a bit snippy then."
Chase muses impishly, and Foreman nods as he can well imagine why this might be, before frowning back down at his wine as he doesn't imagine Cameron's reaction to their little prank will be all too dissimilar.
He just hopes she can see the funny side; partly because genuinely hurting the brunette's feelings isn't something he has any wish to do, but mostly because he's due to work with her his next shift that he's in, and he doesn't relish the idea of treading on eggshells for the best part of twelve hours.
"It's just a bit of fun."
Chase assures as he takes an experimental sip of his drink; seemingly feeling a little uncertain himself now that they've had some time to think about their actions.
Still, it's too late to take back their little prank now, and so he simply shrugs and orders a beer to chase down the festive spiced wine; laying his phone out on the table in preparation for whatever angry message they're bound to receive sooner or later.
"Cameron, could you step into my office for a moment?... Cameron!"
House barks the brunette's name when his request goes disobeyed. Smirking when Cameron jerks with start, he watches through the slatted blinds lining his office as she slips a coloured scrap of paper into the book on the desk to mark her page while pushing her glasses up to massage the small marks they've left on either side of her nose; using the frames to pull her hair off of her face.
"Yeah?"
She raises a brow curiously as she moves to stand in the doorway; waiting for further instruction as House simply stares at her.
"What do you want?"
She asks when the silence drags out between them, wondering whether he's offered her services to one of the other wards that are inundated with seasonal maladies. She knows the ER will be manic, as will the general clinic with members of the public full of cold and flu incapable of grasping the fact that they would be doing everyone a favour if they stayed home, ate right, slept longer and kept themselves hydrated, rather than spreading their misfortune around.
They're just worried, you know how people get.
True, but she's come to adopt a mild dose of her colleagues' cynicism in this particular area as she can't remember the last time she came down with something that wasn't brought in by some stuffed-up soul spluttering and spraying all over her in the clinic.
Better catching whatever bug's doing its rounds down there than something weird and wonderful from up here!
True, not just for her health, but in large part due to wanting to avoid having House pinching and prodding at her with a fascination he refuses her otherwise.
Really? Then what's with the look?
She frowns, splaying her palms dramatically in a request that House offer some form of explanation for his piercing stare, before noticing the scraps of wrapping paper littering his desk. Sighing, she scolds him dutifully
"You do realise that gift was for Chase."
"Oh? And how would you know? Have you been cheating in our little game of Secret Santa? Are you incapable of helping yourself from ruining everyone's fun, Dr Cameron?"
"Evidently. I'm a complete nightmare."
"Ha!"
"The green box had his name on it... And I wrapped it when Eric asked me to."
She elaborates with a roll of her eyes, offering a shrug to suggest that with there being only four of them and House unlikely to play along and provide a gift, there really isn't a great deal of sleuthing needed to guess who pulled who's name out of the little pot she'd handed around.
"Allison!"
"Don't call me that."
"Why not?"
House grins.
"Because it's weird, Greg."
She replies cooly, and he chuckles gruffly at her unflustered response, before deciding he prefers the brunette with a little colour to her cheeks.
"I suppose it is... Then again, I'm not the one who instigated the weirdness between us this merry yuletide."
"Okay...? How's that?"
"'How's that?' A rather coy response, don't you think? I'm not sure it suits you."
"You've lost me."
"Oh?... Hmm. Confusion doesn't really suit you either. You're the smart one."
"Only when it pleases you, and rarely in my favour."
The brunette muses, green eyes narrowing as she tries to suss out the reason for House's strange behaviour.
"Foreman picked Chase's name out of the pot. Chase picked yours."
"How do you know that?"
"Because I picked Eric's and you picked mine."
"Did I?"
Cameron raises a brow, but she supposes there's little point in feigning ignorance given that she's almost certain that House will have already given in to curiosity and unwrapped the scarf she'd bought him.
Something simple. Something that says nothing more and nothing less than Merry Christmas. Something he can't tease or analyse me about. Something that means nothing.
"Yes."
House replies, reaching down and picking up a neat black box tied with silver ribbon as he keeps his gaze firmly fixated on his youngest employee.
"Well, I guess you figured it out. Congratulations. You must feel very proud."
Cameron sighs, and House offers her a weighted look as he undoes the ribbon slowly to lift the lid off the box.
"I figured out my gift was from you, and I must say, I'm relieved!"
"How so? I-"
"-I have yet to figure out what I'm supposed to make of it, though."
"Um-"
The brunette frowns, before her eyes widen and the colour drains from her face when House holds up a sinful scrap of lace and studies her expectantly.
"That's not... That's... I didn't-"
Cameron stammers, aware that the waver in her voice is only feeding whatever glee House is surely getting from this unfortunate turn of events. Pulling herself firmly together, she crosses her arms defensively over her chest and snaps uneasily
"I got you a scarf."
"It doesn't look that way."
"Yes, well... Clearly the others thought this would be funny."
She growls, feeling close to tears in her frustration as she just knows the next couple are weeks are now likely to be insufferable.
"Is that the best excuse you've got?"
House asks, hooking his fingers into scant lingerie as he makes a show of inspecting it.
"I don't need to give you an excuse, I didn't do anything to warrant one."
Cameron snaps, turning on her heel to storm out of the office.
"It was supposed to be nice!"
She snaps over her shoulder, although she has to ask herself why in the hell she'd expected the others to play along.
Still, the boys' trick is a decidedly low blow, and she's genuinely a little surprised.
A little surprised, and a little hurt.
"You only side with House because you're in love with him."
"Please. I'm siding with him on this because I agree with him. I'm not in love with him."
"Oh, really?"
"Yes! How many times do I have to say it?! I had a thing for him, yes, fine, you got me. Was it insane? Probably. But I'm over it, okay? I'm so, so over it. I don't feel that way anymore."
"Methinks thou dost protest too much, Allie."
"Methinks so also... Be careful. It might come back to bite you!"
Laughter from Chase and Foreman and a loud groan from the brunette as they'd shared two pizzas between the three of them after a late shift last week.
"That was so far over the line..."
She hisses, storming out of the DDx room with an anxious knot in her stomach.
Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she opens up the group chat the three share and mashes the keys furiously
You're both so f'ing dead...
"We're f'ing dead."
"F'ing?"
Chase raises a brow with an amused twitch to his lip.
"That's what she said."
Foreman smirks, holding up his phone so that the blond can read Cameron's message, before considering the text himself with a guilty scrub of his jaw.
"Do you think we overstepped?"
"No."
"Really?"
He pulls a face, and Chase scowls at him before letting out a sigh and reasoning uncomfortably
"If it had actually been Cam's underwear, then maybe, but it was just a joke. I put the scarf in her locker so she can give it to House; no harm done."
"I guess... It just doesn't seem as funny in the sober light of day; sober being the operative word! Especially as we weren't around to see her reaction."
"I think we can take a pretty good guess at her reaction!"
"True... But-"
"-It was just a bit of fun. And, I think it's best for us that we weren't around to catch the tail-end of Allie's embarrassment!"
"I just hope she's not upset."
"You've changed your tune..."
Chase frowns, before stating dismissively
"I wouldn't have suggested it if I thought she still liked him. It was just a joke."
"I'm pretty sure that's exactly why you suggested it... You're still sore Cam's always been more interested in House than in you."
Foreman shrugs, earning himself a glower as his colleague demands coldly
"So what was your reason for going along with it, then?"
"I thought it would be funny at the time... And, sometimes, I get tired of House playing favourites. I know he drags Cam through it more than either of us, but he's usually so intent on watching the fallout of his games with her that it feels impossible to personally excel. No offence to Allie. And, House is similarly interested in proving you wrong. I just have better places to be than working for a miserable old bastard for longer than necessary, and sometimes his favouritism, while grossly toxic, can get on my nerves. I guess Christmas, and more specifically New Years, acts as a reminder that I have better things to do than watch House nip at Cameron's heels in hopes of coaxing a good idea or two out of her for a whole other year."
"And you make it sound as though I'm the jerk!"
"You are. We both are given what we did... It just seemed appealing at the time to send Cam into hiding for a few days and get things done without having to go up against her. We both have a paper pending, and I know hers will take priority, so I guess I sunk a little low. Fuck, it's almost more annoying knowing that Allie isn't exactly to blame! But House's gold stars mean something to her. I couldn't care less what the man thinks of me, I just care what he puts down on paper in regards to my career... Pulling a prank like we did seemed funny at the time, as well as offering an opportunity to pull focus. I'd apologise for being self-serving, but you can't tell me you suggested messing around with her in pure jest. You can't tell me that if we had been around to watch House open his present and Cam's reaction that you were imagining she might be struck by an overwhelming sense of amusement."
Foreman shrugs, and when Chase opens his mouth to argue that he should have expressed all of this last night, he raises a palm to nip any anger in the bud and muses glumly
"We shouldn't have done it, but we did. It will be fine. Cam will get over it eventually, she always does, but we owe her an apology. Especially given as she's stuck working with House over the holidays."
"I guess."
Chase agrees with a sour expression; not especially thrilled at being called out, but knowing that his colleague is right.
It really doesn't seem that funny now that he thinks about it.
It just seems mean.
"I'll invite her over for the twenty-seventh. House is down for a short shift and the rest of us are off. Come to my place and we'll get takeout and smooth this whole thing over... Just know that you're a buzzkill."
"Mm. I'm sure Allie plans to call us a whole lot worse."
"I'm sure you're right!"
"There she is."
House greets as he limps into the DDx room and shrugs off his coat. Noting the way that Cameron offers him a decidedly chilly reception before going back to her notes, he teases her with a lecherous wink.
"Coffee."
He grunts as he passes her, hovering his hand over her shoulder in a bid to add to her discomfort by means of an over-friendly squeeze, but ultimately deciding against it.
Play it safe. Make her squirm, but play it safe. You can't touch her. Must never touch her...
No, because the resultant spark between them has never been one-sided, and he doesn't quite dare feel her warmth beneath his palm for fear that he'll lend her a way to somehow retaliate and make him feel how she must be feeling.
That won't do.
"Coffee, black."
He reiterates when she makes no move to bend to his will, and she keeps her attention trained firmly on her work as she snaps coldly
"Machine. There."
"Cameron!"
House cries, feigning upset, and she sighs as she looks up at him over the rims of her glasses; her posture and expression wary and tense.
"You'll break my heart playing with my emotions this way. One minute you're throwing yourself at me, the next you can't even get your little ass up off your seat to comply with an innocent request! I'm wounded!"
"Save it."
She sighs, pushing herself up and opening the cabinet above the sink to fetch House's mug. Glancing over her shoulder as he disappears into his office, she lets out a low sigh as she prepares his drink.
It's going to be a long night.
It certainly seems that way, and not just because it's Christmas Eve; a night that has a tendency to drag for their little unit. If Cuddy comes looking for one of them to step in elsewhere, she'll happily oblige, but if left to her own devices, she plans to use the predictable lull in their duties to work on her paper and study.
Whether House allows me to or not is another thing...
Thinning her lips as she stirs a packet of sugar into strong black coffee, she takes it through to him with an icy glower that suggests he would do well to let her slip back out without mentioning the inappropriate gift the boys had given him on her behalf.
"Won't you join me?"
House asks, leaning back in his chair while tossing the ball usually kept on his desk high into the air before catching it with a loud smack of his palm.
"I'm working on my paper."
She shakes her head dismissively, tempted to point out that he has never invited any of them to sit and chat with him for a while, and that there had been a time when she would have jumped at the chance.
Yes, at the chance to engage with him on an intellectual level. To discuss work, and, if that went well, then perhaps music or literature or where's good to eat around here... But that's not what's on offer right now.
No. And she only needs to spy scarlet lace peeking- very purposefully- out of the pocket of his jacket to know for sure.
"It's Christmas Eve."
"It is, and I want to get this in before the new year."
She shrugs.
"Do you want me to take a look at what you have already?"
"... Seriously?"
She asks uncertainly; knowing him too well to allow him an immediate rush of gratitude, but she has always professed a belief that House has a softer side, and she doesn't want a kind offer to go to waste in a childish bid to appear vexed.
I am vexed! Angry! Pissed!... But at the end of the day, it was Chase and Foreman that messed around. House only-... Damn it, Allie. Don't even start with that!
She sighs at her own expense and offers a bemused twitch of her lip when her peculiar behaviour earns her a curious stare from her superior.
"I could actually do with a second opinion on my debate covering the meta-analysis for the simvastatin trials. I think it's sound, but my feedback wasn't what I was hoping for last time, so having some critique on that section before I submit my work would be helpful."
"I don't recall you doing badly last time you submitted?"
House muses, and Cameron shrugs- ignoring what she's fairly sure was a purposeful play on words- and replies
"I didn't. But, I could have done better."
"Well, everyone could always do better."
"Exactly."
"Apart from myself, of course."
"Of course..."
She rolls her eyes and turns around to fetch her laptop from the main room. Bringing it back into House's office, she closes the door behind her and leaves it unlocked, before settling down in the chair opposite his and scrolling through her work in order to find the relevant section. Once successful, she turns the laptop around to face House and sits back expectantly.
"Come over here, next to me, so we can go through this."
House instructs, and she nods agreeably and makes to drag her chair around to position it snuggly beside his before glancing up warily when she catches the teasing lilt to his request and recognising it for what it is.
Meeting Cameron's uncertain frown with a smirk, House leans back and pats his good thigh as he suggests lecherously
"And here I was hoping you'd just take a seat."
"House."
She growls.
"Cameron."
He replies pleasantly, and she snatches her laptop back with an irritable sigh and snaps at him as she takes her leave.
"Well, I'm glad you're having fun."
"Thank you, that's kind!"
He calls after her, before moving to sit with his chin rested on his steepled fingers as he watches the young brunette reclaim her seat at the desk with a tangible sense of agitation.
Counting to five, he pushes himself up and stands in the doorway to his office as he addresses her a little more tactfully
"You're always kind... That's the problem."
"Mhmm, so you've said."
Cameron agrees, trying to sound breezy and disinterested, but missing the mark as she wills him to turn heel and leave her alone.
"So kind. So good. So... pure."
House muses loudly.
"If you say so."
The brunette replies wearily, earning herself a snigger swiftly disguised as a growl as House demands
"You disagree?"
"Oh, I don't imagine answering that will make any difference to your current spiel. I think I'll just let you tire yourself out so that I can get on with my work."
"So you're denying your purity? Your innocence?"
"I mean, I'm more just trying to ignore you, but whatever makes you happy, House."
"Well, that's not true, is it? I can think of a lot that would make me happier than you snapping at me with an attitude that's come out of nowhere, Dr Cameron."
"Out of n-... No. You know what? I'm not playing."
Cameron grumbles, shaking her head despairingly when House meets her bemusement with open appreciation and refusing to rise to further bait. A decision that soon lends her companion a disgruntled expression as he'd been counting on riling the young immunologist up for the best part of their shift to stave off boredom.
"Oh come on, don't be like that. What's a little lap-sitting between colleagues? I'm offering you all sorts of opportunities for distraction, and you're breaking my heart. How very unseasonal of you!"
"Mm."
"You are no fun."
He scolds, jabbing a finger at her accusingly, and Cameron sits back to regard him coolly with her arms crossed over her chest.
"And whose fault is that?"
"I-"
"-In case you've forgotten, it's not as though the offer of, hmm, distraction hasn't been there in the past. You declined to take it, that's on you."
She shrugs, taking what little enjoyment she can from the sudden look of caution that darkens House's brow as she deals him a card usually kept close to her chest.
Careful, Allie. You're setting yourself up for comments you could do without.
Perhaps, and while she hates to admit it, she knows well enough that House retains the unique ability to make her heart sore and plummet with just a few carefully- often cruelly- chosen words, but she's tired of feeling her cheeks burn and stomach twist itself into knots in response to the latest- laciest- matter of contention between them.
Ignoring him rarely works in any situation, and avoiding the subject only invites further comments on purity and innocence that carry neither truth nor flattery, which really only leaves going on the offensive...
A strategy that tends to be her last resort in her aim to keep the peace, but that's not to say it hasn't proven effective now and then.
"Was that it? Only I'd really like to get back to my paper if you're done pestering me."
She points out, relishing the brief look of surprise her chilly demand garners before House can hide his reaction behind a smirk.
"Ooh, bossy."
He chides, but the flustered apology he'd usually expect in response doesn't come; something Cameron comments on herself as she lowers her attention back to her work.
"You know, there was a time when you calling me names like that would really get to me. Around about the same time as when I would never have dreamed of speaking to my boss the way I just did... I'd say that ship sailed quite some time ago though, and has all but sunk given that my boss seems determined to walk around with what is definitely not my underwear hanging out of his pocket."
"... Calling you bossy still gets to you."
House states quietly.
"Maybe... But that's still definitely not my underwear."
The brunette muses as she fixes a typo before reaching for her book without offering House another glance.
A couple of seconds later she hears the door to his office close, and when she looks back up, she catches the blinds lining the glass wall slip closed.
She is given little time to fret over what this reaction might mean for the remainder of her shift as Wilson pokes his head around the door and beckons her out into the hallway; a very out-of-character woolly hat perched on his head.
"Close the door, Allison."
Wilson instructs, and the brunette does as she's told before offering the oncologist an openly curious expression as she takes a seat on the sofa in his office.
"Are you going to tell me what's going on?"
She asks, having followed him thus far with only a theatrical "shhhhh!" when she'd asked what it was he might want.
"Nothing that requires a look of such dubiety!"
He chuckles, taking a seat behind his desk.
"Sorry, I've been dealing with House and no cases... I'm a bit shell-shocked."
"Yes, he told me the two of you would be spending the holidays together."
"I don't think I'd really word it that way."
Cameron pulls a face, aware that for some inexplicable reason her cheeks feel rather warm.
"Do you really think House would word it any other way?! That he'd admit to enjoying this little arrangement?"
Wilson counters curiously.
"Does he?"
"Not that he's come out and said, but I can read between the lines."
"Can you?... Can you help me out, then?"
"Is that really necessary? You've always struck me as insightful."
"Well, thanks, but I've just spent the last couple of days bearing the brunt of a stupid prank played by Chase and Foreman, concluding in House waving around nice but rather inappropriate underwear and accusing me of being a bore, so I'm beginning to lose my sense on what's insight and what's insanity."
"Underwear?"
Wilson's eyebrows shoot up towards his hairline, and Cameron sighs as she repeats what she's now told House several times.
"It's not mine."
"Oh... I don't-"
"-Chase and Foreman swapped out my Secret Santa gift for House with a scarlet thong, and I don't think I need to tell you too much more for you to grasp that I'm not having an especially merry time out of it."
"No... I would say I can put the rest together for myself..."
Wilson agrees with a commiserating shake of his head, before offering the brunette a titbit of information he imagines might cheer her up.
"Nevertheless, I have a feeling that your lack of merriment and joy might be rather one-sided... House mentioned last week that you would be joining him for the holiday shift, and I reminded him that, generally, his department allows for you lowly underlings to be on-call rather than scheduled in over the Christmas period. It's encouraged, in fact... He said he'd mention this to you."
"He never said anything."
"No, I had a feeling it might slip his mind... Take from that what you will."
"Oh."
Cameron shrugs, trying her best to sound aloof but certain that if she hadn't been blushing before, she is now.
"So, uh, what did you want?"
She clears her throat with a wince as she's hardly doing well in her attempt to play things cool.
"Just to give you this."
Wilson smiles, pulling a small parcel wrapped in red wrapping paper from the top drawer of his desk.
"Oh!... I didn't know we were-"
"-We weren't. Relax. It's just chocolate, Allison. I pick some up every year to give out. I've given Chase and Foreman theirs already, but I figured I'd call you in here to give you yours to give you a break from House should you need it, and because I can just imagine some of the delightful insinuations my best friend in the whole wide world might feel obliged to make should he witness me handing his favourite little protégé a long, thin package."
"Now who's insightful?"
Cameron laughs, aware that her cheeks are only growing warmer, but comfortable enough with her company not to care.
"Don't tell my ex-wife, she's of the opposite opinion."
Wilson jokes as the brunette pushes herself up from the sofa to get back to work.
"That really depends on whether this is hazelnut or not."
She replies solemnly, grinning when her companion offers her a theatrical gesture to suggest she might be onto something.
"You'll have to try it and see."
"Life is hard. Thanks!"
"For the chocolate or for letting slip House voluntarily spends time with you?"
"Wilson teases; matching Cameron's frown with a smile.
"The chocolate... I'm not so sure the House thing works in my favour."
The brunette reasons, pulling a face before heading back to the office, leaving Wilson shaking his head in her wake.
"Come."
House grunts in response to the light knock on his door.
"More coffee?"
Cameron asks.
"Please... Why are you blushing?"
House frowns, holding out his mug and wondering if the brunette has taken a quick walk outside to earn the colour rouging her cheeks. If so, he hopes it has served to work off some of the hostility tainting her ordinarily pleasant demeanour.
"Am I?... Oh. I was just talking to Wilson."
She replies with a small smile and coy shrug before disappearing from view and House's brow furrows ever deeper in response to Cameron's unlikely response.
She's trying to get a rise out of you. Don't let her get to you. That's not how this works.
No. Cameron should be well aware of her role in their heated bickering by now.
If not, she's in for a reminder.
House placates himself, glancing up at his most recent ploy to toy with his young fellow with a sense of pride at his dedication to pissing her off.
Sort of...
A little voice inside his head interjects, and he bristles irritably as it threatens to ruin his pending good mood. Still, it speaks the truth; he enjoys messing with Cameron- enjoys it so much he'd negated to talk to her about taking the next few days off leaving him to the solitude he claims to relish- but his enjoyment is dependent on two things.
One: that she reacts in that flustered, uncertain way he's grown begrudgingly fond of, embellished with just a hint of dark humour.
Two: that his teasing doesn't genuinely upset her.
Not something he often worries about, and an outcome they've dealt with between them more than once, but he finds that their back and forth loses almost all of its appeal for him if her agitation and bashfulness turn to anger or hurt.
Which is probably why you should call it a day and quit digging where it seems there's no gold.
He sighs, but refuses to give in to his better conscience just yet.
On cue, when the brunette reenters the room bearing a mug of fresh coffee, he greets her with a smirk that falters only slightly when he spies that she has also brought him a piece of chocolate wrapped in a tissue.
Why do you do these things for me when I do what I do to you?
... Idiot.
"Thanks."
He grunts, taking the mug from her while keeping her trapped with his gaze and she offers him a polite smile which slowly falls to form the wary expression he knows well.
"Tell me something, Dr Cameron."
He speaks up finally, and she takes a step back but waits obediently to see what he wants to ask her.
"With your generally grotesque love for all things light, fluffy and delightful, why is it that you choose to work over the holiday period? Shouldn't you be out carolling and spreading cheer before going home to a pile of gifts under the tree? Bath-bombs and tea-coseys and napkins and whatnot?"
"Napkins?... You want me to go home and wait for Santa to bring me napkins? Wow, what a stereotype. Lumping me in with all the other girls."
She sighs.
"Okay, not napkins, but you're not going to deflect your way out of this so easily. What's the deal?"
"What's your deal with working Christmas?"
"I'm the big boss. The head honcho. One of us has got to do it."
"Mm. Which is why I signed myself up for the next few shifts. The department's covered."
"... Again, you're deflecting."
"I'm in good company."
"Hm. I liked you better when you were nice."
"I'm usually nice. You liked me better when I let you walk all over me."
"Deflective and arrogant! Watch it, Dr Cameron, or you'll be getting coal this year!... And that's not true."
"What isn't?"
"I don't like you any less now that you've learned to very occasionally bite back... If anything, I like you more for it."
"Really? What's one step up from disliking me? Tolerance?"
"... I see you're still upset with me."
"Not really. I'm kind of glad that you didn't pick my name for a gift as I don't want a bath-bomb or tea-cosy, but I'm not upset. Just frustrated that you act like you don't know me at all when I know that you do in an odd sort of way. You don't think I'm light and fluffy and delightful. Grotesque, maybe, but the rest... You don't think that. You accuse me of it a lot, and plenty besides, but you wouldn't keep me around if that's all that you thought I was."
"I do think you're light. Just for the record."
"Noted... I don't like or dislike Christmas. I used to dislike it for reasons I'm not about to go into with you, but I don't have any real feelings about the matter these days. I'd rather the others got the chance to be off as they don't share my thoughts on the subject, and with this year lining up to be just as quiet as last year, it gives me a chance to get on with my paper without the muffled thumping of my upstairs neighbours dancing to Christmas music. At least, I hope that's what that noise is."
She shrugs, and House grins as he devours the chocolate she's offered him before taking a pensive sip of his coffee.
"I don't believe you."
He muses finally, earning himself a bemused chuckle.
"No? You think I'd rather fantasise about them fucking?"
Cameron asks, smiling sweetly when House chokes on his coffee as she'd hoped he might.
"Of course I would! But that's not what I meant. I don't believe you when you claim to be glad that I didn't pick your name. I don't believe that you wouldn't want a gift from me."
"You wouldn't have bought me anything even if you had picked my name. At least this way I get some earrings I'll probably never wear."
"Who says I'd have gotten you something you'd need to unwrap?"
House smirks, watching on gleefully as the brunette falters a little and fidgets uncomfortably with the sleeve of her sweater.
"Don't start."
She sighs wearily, and House shakes his head as he pats his pocket harbouring scarlet lace.
"I didn't start this, Dr Cameron."
"I-"
"-You did, with your little gift."
"I already told you, I-"
"-So why not finish it?"
House interrupts the brunette's doomed attempt to argue the facts of the matter. He knows she's telling him the truth. He knows full well that she would never have pulled the trick he is absolutely certain was played on him by her colleagues.
But it would be no fun at all to assure her of any of this, so instead, he points suggestively up at the sprig of mistletoe he's tacked to the ceiling, piercing her with a fixed stare as he waits for her predictably flustered response.
It doesn't come.
Looking up at the mistletoe with an unimpressed pull to her lips, Cameron looks back down at House and decides she's had enough of his crap for one day. She wants to get on with the remainder of her holiday hours in relative peace, and it would seem that Chase and Foreman's little gift on her behalf has put an unexpected hole in her plans.
If I don't pull back what little control I had to start with, he's never going to let this go.
Not likely if she considers similar altercations in the past.
And besides, it's Christmas... You deserve more than a pair of well-meaning but undeniably ugly earrings.
Also true.
Why should House have all the fun?
No reason she can think of, and so, rather than gifting him with the unhappy anxiety she imagines he'd been hoping for in the face of his newest game with the mistletoe, she simply takes a couple of steps further into his office until she stands beneath the jolly green sprig.
"Bold."
House muses appreciatively, pushing himself from his seat and moving so that they stand toe to toe; calling what he is sure is her bluff and waiting for her to pull away.
When she doesn't, he cups her cheek, feeling that familiar, dangerous spark between them as he touches her flesh, but she doesn't flinch, and she certainly doesn't pull back.
She leans in, meeting his lips with a confidence that surprises him, and House slips her his tongue dominantly in a bid to win their little game of chicken.
She accepts him, deepening their kiss, and House realises with a sense of utter shock that he's no longer calling the shots, nor does he especially mind the fact. Experimenting cautiously with reigning in some of the aggression of his affection, he discovers an unlikely sense of enjoyment in the sensation of the brunette pushing against him as she reciprocates with her own small nip of fire.
"Lock the door."
Cameron murmurs against the scruff of his jaw, and House pulls back with his eyes narrowed suspiciously, refusing to believe the brunette is capable of playing on the level she seems to be promising.
What if she's not playing?
She must be.
Does it matter?
No. He just wants to see where this is all going. He wants to see her next move.
Stepping past her, he does as she's asked, before turning back to find Cameron standing with her hands on her hips, her lips reddened, staring him down intently.
"You realise I'm not the one marking your paper, right?"
He jokes lamely, surprised when she bites back easily
"Shut up. This isn't about that, it's about the underwear. It's about you teasing me day in, day out, for as long as I've worked this job. You make fun of me differently than you do Chase or Foreman, but I know I have to take a little responsibility because I let you. But this whole thing has gone way too far, and I think they know it. I know it. But I can't help but wonder whether you know it.
I guess I want to ask you something, and I'd like you to answer honestly."
"...What?"
"Do you make fun of me and tease me with the suggestive comments you make because you're cruel? Do you find it amusing to use my sexuality- or lack of it, as you claim just as frequently- against me because the very idea repulses you? Or do you do it because you're frustrated by the fact that you want something you've told yourself you shouldn't have? Your attitude towards me reeks of either mockery or jealousy, and I'll admit I'm really not sure which it is sometimes, but it has to be one of those things, so you tell me... I've given you two options. Choose one."
"... I have to say, Dr Cameron, you're rather ruining the fun."
"I deserve to know if the fun you find in all this is malicious or mutual."
"... Mutual?"
"You tell me."
Cameron shrugs, and House frowns as she has him proverbially backed into a corner, and while it's on the tip of his tongue to punish her for her sudden twist in events, the options she's handed him don't allow for what he's loathe to admit might be a form of cowardice.
He wants to tell her he just likes to watch her squirm, and it would be true!... But it doesn't answer her question, and he's not sure whether she'd entertain a third option or if she would automatically take sarcasm and avoidance as confirmation that he finds her a joke.
And that's certainly not the case.
Not at all...
Rubbing at his lips as though trying to rid himself of her taste in order to think straight, he submits to her rules and speaks up gravely.
"I know some of my comments might seem malicious... Some of them, looking back, were undoubtedly malicious. But that's never been my intent... I do find you frustrating."
He agrees, uttering the word as though it were an insult, but they both know the context in which she'd presented it to him, and she raises a brow as if waiting for him to retract his statement, but House merely shrugs to indicate that's all he has to say on the matter.
"Again. That's mutual."
Cameron smiles simply, before walking back up to him and reclaiming their kiss.
There's no mistletoe this time.
No prank, no joke, no dare, no game.
There's no stopping this time, and when House rests his hands at her waist, she takes hold of his wrists and guides them lower to the catch of her slacks.
"... And here I thought I'd have to explain to you what men and women who find each other frustrating sometimes do."
House mutters sarcastically; his words lacking any veracity as the brunette makes swift work of his belt.
"Well, it's not the first time you've been wrong about me, is it?"
"It seems that way."
House agrees through gritted teeth as she releases him from the confines of his boxers. Not one to be outdone, he tugs at the soft fabric of her pants until they pool around her feet and encourages her to step out of them. Obliging, Cameron allows House to back her up towards his desk and pulls him down to cut off the questions she senses he means to ask her with a slow kiss.
"You've admitted I frustrate you and I've admitted much the same... Now I'm offering you an opportunity to do something about it, that's all this is."
The brunette whispers as she parts her legs to allow him to stand between them.
"Is it?"
House asks seriously, and Cameron sighs as she leans back a little to study him.
"Look, you know I like you. Not in the same way as I did, and I'd say that's best for both of us, but you know there's just this thing I have for you, and it is what it is. I'm not pretending I'm totally over that, but that's my problem. I'm more than aware of what this is."
"And what is that?"
"A Christmas miracle," the brunette laughs, before shrugging and musing lightly, "or, you know, the culmination of three years of bickering and you walking around for two days with lacy underwear hanging out of your pocket in a bid to irk me."
Her calm tone affords House his own smirk as he lets his attention fall to pale thighs and black cotton.
"I see. On that count, I'm almost disappointed."
He teases.
"Really?"
"Disappointed, but not surprised."
"Oh yeah? You foresaw this happening?"
"That's not what I meant."
"So do something about it."
Cameron repeats her earlier invitation, removing her glasses from their perch on her head and placing them to the side of the desk expectantly. Fighting the urge to comment on this bold yet rather endearing move for fear of losing his nerve, House accepts her invite and hooks his fingers into scant cotton and drags it slowly down before encouraging the brunette to sit further back on the desk.
Reclaiming her lips, he runs his hand up the inside of her thigh and cups her heat to check she's ready for what he means to do next; earning himself a small jerk, but nothing in the way of discouragement. Guiding himself to enter her slowly as he deepens their kiss, he lets out a low, shuddered breath as she digs her nails into his shoulders before taking the hook of her leg to pull him in closer as a sign to move.
"Fuck."
Cameron breathes as their movements take on a needy roughness, but when House pauses in response, she laughs against the scruff of his jaw and assures
"No, no, that was a command."
"A command? From you?"
"Full of surprises, I told you."
The brunette smirks as House moves once more with intent, matching his strokes with the fervour of her affection, before breaking away with her lip caught between her teeth as their lovemaking becomes clumsy, nearing the edge.
"Okay?"
House grunts, and she isn't sure whether he's asking after her wellbeing or whether she's close, but either way, she nods affirmatively.
Digging his fingers hard into pale thighs as his own starts to ache, House pants as he surrenders control and finishes; dimly aware of the rhythmic creaking of his desk but too wrapped up in the moment to find humour in the fact as he feels the brunette tense up tellingly, gripped by her own pleasure.
"Fuck..."
Cameron repeats her earlier sentiment as she pushes her hair out of her face with a small smile; her cheeks stained pink but otherwise looking remarkably respectable.
House swiftly rebuttons and belts his jeans so that he might feel the same, before glancing back up at the brunette warily.
"Well, as far as Christmas presents go, that wasn't the worst."
Cameron remarks, hopping down off the desk so that the hem of her sweater somewhat covers her.
"I feel so used."
House jokes, taking a sip of his now decidedly cold coffee while noting with some amusement that a great deal of it has been splashed over his desk.
"Really? Even now you refuse to let up being an ass?"
"Ah, you wouldn't have me any other way."
House replies; a great deal of his uncertainty over how to move on from what they've just done dissipating as he meets the brunette's bemused smile with his own.
"Actually, there's plenty of other ways I'd have you."
Cameron shrugs, grinning evilly when this crass remark gets her the response she'd hoped for before bending down to retrieve her slacks and pulling them up over bare flesh. Picking up the black scrap of her underwear, she tosses it onto the desk before heading for the door.
"You can keep them in your pocket if you'd rather."
She muses over her shoulder, before letting herself out of the office to return to her paper with a sly smirk.
Yawning as her alarm forces her awake, Cameron opens one eye to check the time out of distrustful habit, but it does indeed seem to be 7 AM and time for her to get up for her shift.
Rolling over and picking her phone up off the nightstand, she frowns when she spies that she's received several messages in the time that she's been asleep, before remembering what day it is when she opens the first.
Kay Lartner:
Merry Christmas A.C. See you Jan 16th, can't wait! xx
A message from her ex-roommate and she replies dutifully in kind before checking the other messages bearing similar Seasons Greetings from her parents and a couple of friends.
The last message is from House.
:
Don't bother getting coffee on your way in, I'll get some. See you at 8.
Not the jolliest of texts, but as she can count the number of times House has offered to bring them coffee on exactly no fingers, she'll take it.
With a grin.
A grin that only widens when she spies a WhatsApp alert for her group chat with Chase and Foreman.
Eric:
Happy Holidays guys. Chase, first round's on you, see you at 12. Allie, see you Thursday, hope today goes okay. PS, sorry about the Secret Santa thing. Hope you didn't get too much trouble from it.
Robert:
Merry Christmas one and all! Foreman, we both know it's your turn. Cam, we'll both buy you a round on Thurs. Sorry for messing with you, hope we're okay xx
Rolling her eyes as she swings her legs out of bed, she taps back an innocent reply with a smile.
You'll buy me two rounds and dinner... Don't worry. We're good. It was sort of funny. Merry Christmas x