Chapter 10
Brock made his way into the Bulkhead to meet the guys, minus Vic. This was about Clay and the team before Vic got there and he didn't want to include him in this. Brock had been doing some investigative work for the past week. Ever since he had overheard Jackson talking about how it was bullshit he was still stuck on support when he didn't even remember anything that had happened that night. Apparently, he believed he must have just been there and hadn't done anything. That wasn't what caught Brock's attention, Jackson was an asshole on a good day, what caught Brock's attention was the fact that Jackson didn't remember leaving the bar. Brock had called the other two and they had both said the same thing.
Brock knew that Blockhead and Ricky weren't huge drinkers so it was logical that they would blackout with keeping up with Sonny and Jackson, but for Sonny and Jackson to blackout, that almost never happened. For the four of them to get so drunk that not a single one of them even remembered leaving the bar was a huge red flag. Brock had gone back to the bar and spoke with Mindy, the bartend that was on that night, and he asked her if he could see the tickets for that night. Most servicemen could have a tab running while they are at the bar for the night. After reviewing the tickets, Brock saw that the last round that the guys had drunk that night was purchased by Roth. According to Mindy, he had asked for a round of whiskeys, but didn't go over to the table for her to bring them. Instead he waited for them at the bar to bring over. It wouldn't have been weird, but Roth never waited for a drink. He believed that bartenders and waitresses had to go to you.
Brock knew though that there were no cameras on the inside, but he did know that the owner kept a few hidden cameras around the place. Only a handful of people knew and he knew because Cerberus had sniffed a few of them out. After explaining the situation over to the owner, a fellow Seal himself, he was happy to let Brock review the tapes from that night. There weren't many things that pissed Brock off. He tended to be the most calm and level headed member not only within Bravo, but all of DEVGRU. He didn't talk much, he didn't need to, he didn't yell, he didn't storm off. If something went wrong he dealt with it and moved on. He focused all of his energy on training Cerberus and keeping him alive. The only time you could get him to the pissed off point was if you came after Cerberus or one of his brothers. What he saw on the video camera, pissed him off to the point he was ready for blood. Brock had copied the video to his phone and had plans of showing it to the guys, but then they were spun up and Brock knew better than to show this to the guys while they were going on an operation. Their heads needed to be in the game and this video would do the exact opposite of that. Now that they were back and everything had gone well, it was time to let them in on what he had discovered.
Brock went and joined the guys at the table they were currently occupying. Brock could tell they were slightly annoyed with being here. It wasn't that they didn't want to grab a beer together, it was just that without Clay it didn't feel the same. Ever since Clay had been gone things had been hard on the guys and the spirit of the team. It felt empty without Clay with them. Brock sat down and noticed a beer was already here for him. He gave a nod of thanks to the table, unsure of who had actually ordered it, before Jason began.
"You brought us here Brock, what is so urgent and important that we couldn't talk about this tomorrow. Or that Vic couldn't be here for it?"
They had already made the mistake of keeping one brother out of the team outings with Clay, he was not about to make that mistake again. None of the guys were.
"This is about what happened to Clay's apartment and Vic wasn't around for that. I didn't see the need to include him in family matters." Brock simply said. Despite Vic being on the team for the past few months, that didn't make him family. He hadn't earned that spot yet; and Brock wasn't really certain that he liked Vic. Cerberus couldn't stand him and that was only adding to Brock's uncertainty.
"What about Clay's apartment?" Ray immediately asked.
"Before we got spun up I overheard Jackson complaining about being in Support still. He mentioned how he thought it was bullshit because he couldn't even remember leaving the bar. That he might have been in Clay's apartment, but that didn't mean he did anything." Brock started.
"He didn't remember?" Full Metal said, picking up on the words that Brock had used before the others.
"I reached out to Blockhead and Ricky, neither of them remember leaving the bar either." Brock stated.
"So four guys, who were all drinking together, all of them blacked out and then did something they would normally never do and destroy a fellow brother's apartment." Ray said, not liking how any of that sounded. Something didn't fit right.
"And two of them almost never drink." Trent added.
"So what does that mean?" Sonny asked.
"I came by the bar before we got spun up and spoke with Mindy. She served you guys that night, but the last round you had was bought by Roth and he waited to bring the drinks over."
"Roth doesn't carry drinks." Jason instantly said.
"I spoke with the owner and he allowed me to look through his hidden cameras he has up around the place." Brock said, but Sonny jumped in.
"There's hidden cameras?"
"Ten of em all over the bar. Including one right at the bartop. I got the video feed and saved it to my phone." Brock said, as he passed it over to Jason.
Jason took the phone and hit the play button, as Full Metal leaned over to look at it. They both watched as Roth approached the bar and ordered the round for the table. Everything seemed perfectly normal, until he pulled a small baggie out of his pocket and put some of the white powder into the four drinks, but not his own. Jason was pissed, beyond pissed. He handed the phone over to Sonny so he could look at it as well as the other guys. He couldn't believe this, they had been played by Delta. Jason was sure of it. Maddoc had set it up so that the guys would destroy Clay's apartment and push Clay over to join them.
"The fucker drugged me." Sonny growled.
"With what though? Even if he slipped you guys some cocaine it wouldn't make you blackout, would it?" Ray asked, confused by this.
"Or make you go and destroy Clay's apartment." Full Metal added.
"That's not cocaine." Trent said, as he focused on the little baggie in Roth's hand.
"How do you know?" Sonny asked.
"The logo on the baggie. Plus cocaine and alcohol would have made you guys wired, roudy. It's more likely you would have gotten into a fight or kicked out for being too obnoxious. This isn't cocaine, it's Devil's Breath."
"What the hell is that?" Sonny asked.
"It's a dangerous drug. The logo is red wind, that's how you know what it is. The trick is, it can be purchased easily through a pharmacy or a drug dealer if you didn't want to be caught getting it. It's original use was to help with motion sickness. In the right concentration and combined with the proper drugs it stops you from being sick. However, in a pure format it is very dangerous and deadly. It doesn't get you high, what it does is open your mind up to orders and suggestions. People who have been given this drug, even in a small dosage, have been reported to have committed robberies, assaults, harmed themselves and even have committed murder. All of them have reported blacking out, none of them ever remember doing the crime or what happened leading up to it. It's very dangerous and often used as a way to hurt someone. The person who is under the influence has no control over their body, that's why it's getting popular in the college scene as a way to date rape someone. They get a small amount of the drug, the next day they don't even remember who gave them the drink. All Roth had to do was get you guys to drink the whiskey and then suggest or even tell you, to go to Clay's place and destroy it. To act like you were enjoying it and take pictures, to send those pictures to someone. You guys would have done it." Trent explained.
"No way, a drug can do that?" Ray asked, shocked that something that dangerous had been created.
"It's a serious problem, and because it looks like cocaine and dissolves in water, no one knows the difference. It's on the edge of becoming one of the most used drugs for date rape, because it's so powerful. That's why you guys don't remember anything and you never will. You were just the weapons Roth used to destroy Clay's apartment." Trent explained.
"Delta did this." Sonny said through gritted teeth.
He couldn't believe he had been played like this. He couldn't figure out why he had done that to Clay and now it all made sense, he didn't do it. He was being used by someone else to hurt Clay. Sonny was ready for blood.
"Maddoc had been planning it. He sent Roth in here to drug you four and get you to destroy Clay's apartment. All the while, Clay is back on base doing paperwork and Maddoc shows up to whisper into his ear. Clay goes home and discovers his place is destroyed. Giving Maddoc all the ammo he needed to get Clay to switch teams. And all of this is the night before the truth is released to us about the intel in Ash's new book." Jason said, furious that they had all been played like this. That Clay had been played like this.
"Intel that he had to have gotten from someone in the Upper Brass. Otherwise Blackburn would have told you all that night. Someone fed him intel." Full Metal added.
"We all knew they had someone in their back pocket from the Upper Brass. This just confirms it." Ray said.
"We need to tell Clay. He needs to know who he is working with and trusting to have his back." Brock said.
"We will tomorrow. Trent, can it be detected in their blood?" Jason asked.
"It's been way too long. We could try a hair sample from the root and see if we can trace it that way. The trick is with this drug it can last in your system up to eight hours, it's why it's so popular for illegal use. It can't be traced through blood or urine after a couple of days. We might be able to find it in a hair sample like I said, but if the guys have buzzed their hair since, like Sonny has, there's nothing we can do."
"Fuck sakes." Full Metal said, not happy about this.
"We gotta let the guys know." Ray instantly said.
"I want to talk to Clay first. I agree they need to know, but I want to make sure it doesn't get back to Clay and blindside him. We gotta talk to him first." Jason said.
There was no way in hell that he was going to let Clay get blindsided by this. They had to tell him before the guys, he needed to be prepared for whatever fallout there might be.
"Agreed, we can't get him caught off guard. There could be retaliation. He needs to be warned." Full Metal said.
"We'll tell him tomorrow, corner him in the lounge or something. Does Blackburn know?" Jason asked, Brock.
"Not yet."
"We'll tell him tomorrow after speaking with Clay. He'll want to report it, and he should, but again I want to make sure Clay is aware of this before any actions are taken" Jason ordered.
The guys all gave a nod in agreement. They couldn't let Clay be caught off guard, that wouldn't be right nor fair to him. They had to give him the chance to make his own move, hopefully back over with them where he belonged.
XXX
The next day the guys camped out in the team lounge. They needed to speak with Clay and they weren't going to run the chance of missing him. They knew he would be in for coffee at some point today. They were all anxious to speak with Clay. They needed to talk to him so they could then talk to Blackburn and the other guys. They couldn't move on this until they had spoken with Clay. They finally had that opportunity at the end of the day when Clay finally walked into the lounge. Clay noticed that Bravo was all here, minus Vic, and he did his best to not roll his eyes as he made his way over to the coffee maker. He was minutes away from getting out of here and he just wanted to grab some coffee for the road. He hadn't been sleeping well at all since getting back from tour two weeks ago. It was a lot harder than he thought it would be and it was still haunting his dreams each and every night. The result, he was doing a lot of cocaine to keep his mind turned off from it and his place was a mess. He couldn't seem to bring himself to do the dishes or to clean up in the living room. He also hadn't spoken with Jason since he had gotten back. He kept telling himself he would message Jason and talk to him about some of the things that had been going on in his life, but he couldn't seem to bring himself to do that either. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to Jason, it was just that he couldn't seem to find the energy to physically do it. He couldn't find the energy to do anything but show up for work and do the translations. He had spent the past two weeks that he had off in his house sitting either on the couch working on laying in his bed trying to will himself to get up. This had never happened to him before and he didn't know what any of it meant.
"Clay, I know you don't want to talk to any of us and we are respecting that, but something has happened and we really need to talk to you about it." Jason said, as he got up and went over to join Clay in the kitchen, the guys following him.
Cerberus had already ran over to Clay and Clay started to pet him as he used his other hand to get his coffee ready to head home. When Clay didn't say anything Jason continued. Clay didn't respond, but he also didn't storm out or tell them all off.
"It's about what happened at your apartment and Delta. Quick version, Brock overheard Jackson talking about how he didn't remember that night. None of the four guys, including Sonny, remembers leaving the bar. Brock went and looked at the hidden cameras in the bar, I have the video feed for you. You need to see it."
Clay let out a sigh before he turned around. He could have just walked out, but he could tell this was something Jason wasn't going to let go. Clay went over and took the offered phone and hit the play button. Jason spoke as Clay watched it.
"As you can see Roth is adding a drug to the drinks he ordered for the guys. The logo on the bag indicates that it is Devil's Breath. It's a powerful."
"I know what it is." Clay cut him off, speaking for the first time.
Clay watched as Roth added the drugs to all of the drinks. He knew how dangerous Devil's Breath was and what it could do to someone. Just a small amount of it could make a person do almost anything.
"That's why the guys destroyed your place. All Roth had to do was tell them to do it and they would, while also not remembering. Maddoc planned this Clay." Jason said, gently.
Before Clay could say anything the door opened and Stokes walked in with the rest of Delta behind him. Clay pushed the phone away as he spoke with rage to his voice.
"How many fucking times do I have to tell you to leave me the hell alone?"
"There a problem here?" Stokes asked, with his own edge as he moved to be closer to Clay. The rest of Delta joining them.
"No." Ray said, confused by the change in Clay's attitude.
"You need to leave me alone. Stop trying to talk with me. Stop hiding out in the lounge waiting for me to walk in like a bunch of pathetic school girls. I've told you, I want nothing to do with any of you or Bravo." Clay snapped.
"Leave my man alone, or I will report you all for harassment to my commander." Maddoc threatened.
"We're done for the day, you ready to head out Pretty Boy?" Stokes asked.
"Ya, I gotta do some errands. See ya Monday." Clay said, with a final pet to Cerberus.
"Call me if you are feeling lonely." Stokes said, as Clay made his way out.
"This is your last warning Hayes." Maddoc threatened before him and the guys headed out.
Jason didn't bother with saying anything back to him, there was no point. He could threaten all he wanted, in the end Jason would be the one to come out on top. Jason's phone vibrated and he pulled it out to see a text from Clay as Sonny spoke.
"What the fuck was that?"
"That was Clay telling us he can't talk around Delta." Jason said, as he held up his phone. "He just sent me an address."
"So we give it a few minutes and then head out." Full Metal said.
"Ya, but why the attitude all of a sudden. Why not just play it off like we were talking about the weather or an op?" Ray questioned.
"Looks like he doesn't want anyone on Delta knowing he's speaking with us. Even if it is just once." Trent said.
"But why?" Brock asked.
"We can ask him when we get to wherever this address is." Jason said.
Jason had no idea what was going on, but he was hoping to get to the bottom of things with Clay tonight. He noticed that Clay looked exhausted and was rundown. He had dark bags under his eyes, he was pale and he had a slight tremble to his hand when he reached for the phone. He wasn't sleeping and Jason had a feeling it was connected to his most recent tour. He knew from talking with Clay over the past few months that it had taken a toll on him. He hadn't heard from Clay in the past couple of weeks. He wanted to call or text him, but he was leaving the ball in Clay's court right now. It wasn't easy but he had no choice until he had earned that trust back with him. He still didn't know where he lived and Jason was really hoping the address that Clay sent to him was his home so he would at least know where his son was living.
Clay made the drive to the house and did everything he could to keep his mind from thinking about the video that he had just seen. It wasn't that he didn't believe it, he could easily believe it. It made sense that Maddoc would take advantage of the situation and use it to get Clay over onto his team. He had made it clear that he had felt robbed out of the draft pick and not getting Clay. After everything he had seen since being on Delta, drugging a fellow brother, really wasn't that surprising. It did mean that Sonny and the other three didn't mean to destroy his apartment, but that didn't make what happen any better. It didn't take the pain away from what they had done a month leading up to his apartment destruction. Clay wasn't going to let them try and walk it all back and act like now all of their problems were solved. They weren't; far from it.
Clay pulled in and headed inside. He didn't care that his place was a mess, what he cared about was the guys pulling in and seeing the cocaine in his living room. Clay picked up the place that held the cocaine, his library card and a straw, and he headed into his bedroom. He placed the plate down in his closet before he got a line ready. There was no way he was going to be doing this without a bit of cocaine into his system. Clay did the line and then headed back out into his living room. It was only a moment later when there was a knock at his door. Clay let out a breath before he went over and opened the door and saw the guys were all here. He moved back and went over to collapse down into one of his chairs with his coffee in hand. The guys all walked in as Jason spoke.
"This place is nicer than I expected from Ash."
"He loves to impress strangers." Clay simply said.
They guys all spread out around the room. Cerberus immediately went over and placed his head on Clay's lap. Clay couldn't help the small smile. He placed his coffee down on the table and gave Cerberus a nod. Cerb easily jumped up onto Clay's lap and laid down. Clay started to pet him as Ray spoke.
"Your place is normally pretty clean."
"Is there a question in there?" Clay said with an edge to his voice. He didn't owe them any explanation.
"Are you ok?" Ray asked, not even bothered by the slight edge within Clay's tone.
"Have you told anyone about what you found?" Clay asked instead.
"Not yet, we wanted to inform you first before we told the others and Blackburn." Jason answered.
"You can't." Clay simply said.
"What the hell do you mean we can't." Full Metal demanded.
"I'm telling you, you can't. You have to keep it quiet, you can't even tell Blackburn."
"And why the hell would we do that?" Sonny demanded, pissed off that Clay wanted to try and bury this.
"Because something else is going on that you don't know about and you all going around blabbing about this to people will only make things harder." Clay said.
He knew he could have told them about the CIA and what he was trying to do, but honestly, he couldn't trust them with this.
"Alright, let's take a breath here for a second." Ray said, trying to stop a potential fight from happening.
"Ok, you don't seem all that surprised about Delta drugging a brother. Obviously, that means you've seen some questionable things. You said something else is going on, so are you reporting their actions to the Upper Brass?" Full Metal said, looking to get everyone back on track and on the same page before emotions got the better of them.
"It's none of your business. And quite frankly even if it was, I wouldn't tell you anyways. I don't trust any of you enough with that information." Clay simply said.
"You don't trust us? Since when have we not had your trust?" Sonny said, offended.
"You seriously have to ask?" Clay said, shocked that Sonny could be that stupid.
"Look, I know I destroyed your place, but that wasn't my fault. I was drugged and controlled into doing it." Sonny argued back.
"You actually think that video makes it all better. You thought what? That you would show me the video and I would tell you all is forgiven and beg you to come back?"
"Not beg." Sonny said.
"I'm going to make this very clear, I am never going back to Bravo. What you did to my apartment was just the icing on the cake. It doesn't change that you treated me like I was garbage, worthless, for a month leading up to it. And for what? Because you felt like I needed to be punished, like I'm some eight year old boy who broke a dish. I told you that very first day that I didn't tell Ash anything. You all chose to not believe me. You all chose to treat me like I was some shit you picked up on the bottom of your shoe. You betrayed me. You broke the trust. You kicked me out. You all did that long before you were drugged. So no, I don't trust you. I don't even like you. I want nothing to do with any of you. And the least you can do is keep your fucking mouth shut about this. That is the least you assholes owe me."
Clay was done, just fucking done with them. They actually came here thinking he was going to forgive them and just act like what they had done to him was nothing. Just brothers being brothers. That was not happening. He was sick and tired of people thinking they could treat him like shit and he would just be there for them, like some abused dog. Clay moved Cerberus off from his lap as he got up.
"Get the fuck out of my house." Clay ordered as he headed towards his bedroom.
The guys heard his door being slammed shut and they were all surprised by the anger coming from Clay. They had never heard Clay yell like this before. He had never been this angry before, especially with them.
"I've never heard him yell before." Full Metal commented with ease.
"None of us have. He's clearly in a lot more pain then we've been willing to admit to ourselves." Ray said.
"He's right though, we treated him like shit." Trent said.
"We treated him like we would have if any one of us let classified intel slip out." Sonny argued.
"And we would have understood it, but we also would have believed the person if they said they didn't do it. And Clay isn't like any of us, that's something we have to not only accept, but understand. His mind is different, it's unique and that means we can't treat him like every other guy on the team. Anything we say or do can trigger a memory for him, good or bad. Any punishment that was given to him since being on the team, even if that was running hills, it would have brought up traumatic memories. And along with those memories the emotions with them. We didn't just treat him like shit, we made him feel like he was worth less than shit. All of his insecurities were pushed to the front of his mind. Making him feel like that scared little boy he was when he was trapped in those foster homes. We did that to him." Trent explained.
"We don't deserve forgiveness." Brock said.
The reality of the situation was fully hitting the guys. They thought they would be able to repair the relationship, but it was getting very obvious that it was going to take a lot more time than they expected. There was a very real possibility that they could never repair the damage that had been done.
"We're going to keep this quiet. We're not going to tell anyone about it. We have to trust him. He's right, it's the least we owe him." Jason said.
Jason was going to trust Clay on this one. Clay was not someone that just did something for the hell of it. There was a very good reason why he was looking to keep this quiet and they just needed to trust him with it.
"We should get out of here. He clearly doesn't want us here." Full Metal said, as he pushed off from the wall.
The guys all got up, except for Jason. Ray looked over at him with a confused look.
"You not leaving?"
"I'm gonna wait and see if I can talk to him. He won't tell Bravo One anything, but he might share with his dad."
"That's a dangerous line you are walking brother. Whatever he tells you as his dad, you won't be able to act on it. If you break that trust he won't ever trust you again." Ray warned.
"I know and I know it won't be easy, but right now he is going through this world all alone and that's not safe. We've been texting, especially while he was on tour, but I haven't heard from him since he got back. I'll see what I can get out of him."
"Alright, be careful." Ray said, knowing that Clay was not in the mood for company or to be pushed,
Jason just gave a nod and the guys all headed out. He let out a long sigh as he looked around the room. There were dirty dishes on the coffee table as well as take out bags. There were papers from the new language that Clay was learning in the middle of it all. His kitchen looked the same with dirty dishes and coffee stains on the counter; as well as empty beer bottles and liquor bottles. Clay had clearly been having a harder time adjusting to being back after this tour. For someone that was always clean, anal about being tidy and clean, this was a serious cry for help. Jason stood and made his way down the hallway where Clay disappeared to. He could hear a shower running so he figured Clay must have been in the bathroom. He took the time to look around. He saw there was a spare bedroom and the backyard had a hot tub in it. He couldn't help but think that would be nice for Clay to enjoy after a long day. He saw the small laundry room and the basket full of dirty laundry, including some bloody fatigues that were sitting in his duffle bag.
"Ok." Jason said, as he let out a sigh.
He grabbed the dirty fatigues from the duffle bag and tossed them into the washer. He threw in a couple of the specialty laundry detergent pods that they used to remove old blood from their fatigues before turning the washer on. He then made his way into the living room and started to gather up the dirty dishes to bring them into the kitchen. Next he grabbed the recycling and tossed everything into the proper bins that were out front on the porch. He then turned his attention to the kitchen and the stack of dirty dishes. He couldn't be there for Clay out in the field and watching his back, but he could be here to help him stateside and that was exactly what Jason was going to do.
XXX
Clay made his way into his bathroom. He needed to shower and try to calm down. Clay turned the water on as hot as he could stand it before he stripped and got in. He had been taking multiple showers a day ever since he had gotten back from tour. He could swear he could still smell the Valley on his skin. Every time he smelt it, it would trigger a memory from being back there, and considering how horrific it was none of the memories were good. Clay scrubbed at his skin as he tried to calm himself down. He couldn't believe the guys had actually thought he could just forgive them, like he could flip a switch and magically forget about all the pain they put him through. He wasn't going to let them just sweep this under the rug. Not this time. Clay finished scrubbing his body and hair and got out when the water started to turn cold. He quickly dried off and threw on some sleep pants and a t-shirt and a hoodie. He then made his way into the closet and did another line of cocaine. He wanted to do more, but he had to make sure the guys had actually left and didn't stand around being stubborn. Going out there with a plate of cocaine wasn't going to go over so well.
Clay headed out and was happy to see that the guys were gone. Though he did notice his living room had been cleaned. He turned to see Jason in the kitchen washing the last few dishes. As badly as he wanted to be pissed off at Jason, he couldn't seem to stay mad at him. What he said to the guys about trust, didn't apply to Jason. Their connection was different and as such it was more complicated and harder to cut him out of his life. Clay went and leaned against the wall by the kitchen as he spoke, not bothering with keeping the exhaustion from his voice.
"Why are you doing my dishes?"
Jason looked over his shoulder at Clay as he answered. "Because my son is an anal clean freak, which I say with love, and when you walk into his home to see a week's worth of dirty dishes all over the place. That's how you know something is seriously wrong."
"I'm still mad at you."
"I know. You're allowed to be." Jason said, as he finished up the last dish before he pulled the plug.
He turned to give Clay his full attention as he dried his hands. He could see the exhaustion all throughout his body. He hadn't been sleeping well or at all.
"I can't seem to bring myself to do anything. I spend all day in bed trying to make myself move to the couch. When I get there all I can do is focus on the translations. I can't bring myself to clean or even go for groceries. I can't sleep, most nights I lie in my bed trying to will sleep to come. I get a couple hours if I'm lucky. I keep smelling it on my skin." Clay said, as the tears in his eyes started to build.
Jason was instantly crossing the room and pulling Clay in for a tight hug. Clay wrapped his arms around Jason and placed his head down against his shoulder.
"You just gotta let it out. It's ok, I got you son, let it go."
Jason knew team guys were not criers, they just sucked it up. But he also knew that sometimes the only way to keep going was to cry it out. Clay needed to let that pain out or it would destroy him. Clay stopped trying to hold the tears at bay. He let out a small wail as the tears poured down his face. His body trembled from the pain and force of his tears and all Jason did was hold onto him. He took Clay's weight when his legs gave out a bit at the sheer force of his tears. He held onto his son, as he cried the pain out. He didn't tell him it would be ok, because he knew all too well that it might never be ok. Only time would tell how Clay would handle everything that had happened.
After a good thirty minutes Clay's tears had finally slowed down. He was still trembling slightly and his breathing was hitched, but the tears had stopped. Clay pulled back and Jason moved his hands and gently wiped away the remaining tears from Clay's cheeks.
"Sorry." Clay said, ashamed that he had lost all control like that.
"You never have to apologise for that Sunshine. Never." Jason said with strength to his voice.
"I don't know what is wrong with me." Clay said, sounding completely lost.
"Nothing is wrong with you. You are just trying to acclimate to your environment after a very difficult and traumatising tour. It happens to lots of people. You had to see some of the worst things this world has to offer, it's going to take some time before you are able to move on from it. Plus, with your memory it will be a lot easier for you to recall it. You just need time and sleep. Not getting proper sleep is not helping your mind or your emotions."
Clay gave a nod as he tried to get his emotions back under control.
"Here's what we are going to do. We are going to order a pie, grab a beer and sit down and just relax. We can talk or we can watch the game. I don't care what we do."
Clay gave a nod. "That sounds good."
Jason placed his hand on the back of Clay's neck and pulled him in slightly. He placed a kiss to the top of Clay's head before he moved back and grabbed two beers from the fridge. He handed one to Clay as he called up a pizza joint and ordered them a pie. They sat down on the couch and Clay sat back. His mind was going a mile a minute right now and he knew he shouldn't be talking with Jason, he should be icing him out and keeping him out of his own life. The problem was, that hadn't been working so far and Clay knew when to admit defeat. Jason wasn't going anywhere, he didn't want him to, and Jason seemed prepared to handle anything Clay threw at him.
"I can tell you anything right?" Clay started.
"Always." Jason said, as he looked at Clay.
"It stays between us?"
"Whatever is said between us will always stay between us. I'm not your superior and your father, I'm just your dad. That's the only relationship we have so no matter what it will stay between us. I won't lecture you or tell you what to do, but I will offer my advice and any help that I can give you."
Jason knew if he wanted to have Clay in his life he would have no choice but to be just a father figure in Clay's life. He had to treat Clay like he would Emma or Mickey. They no longer had a professional relationship so he had to change his rules with Clay. Now he needed to make sure Clay knew he could always come to him if he needed to talk or if something was wrong.
"I discovered something new about myself four months ago roughly. I um… I'm bi-sexual." Clay said, slightly awkwardly.
Jason was surprised. He wasn't expecting that. Clay had never shown any interest in guys before. He could also tell he was unsure of how he would react and he knew he had to make sure he didn't sound like he was questioning him. Jason didn't care if he was straight, bi or gay, he cared about happy. He was like that with all of his kids. He was surprised though.
"There's nothing wrong with that. How did you discover it though, I always thought you were straight."
"Makes two of us. It was just after I joined Delta, me and some of the guys went to a party, I got very drunk and a guy kissed me. I liked it, but I figured it was just because I was drunk. A couple weeks later Yoder came by and I told him what happened then asked him to kiss me. I liked it a lot and that ended up to be a very fun night for the both of us."
"Alright, well good for you. Most guys would chalk it up to being drunk and ignore it. It takes a lot of courage to search for answers. Are you and Yoder going to date now?"
"Probably not. I'm not looking to date anyone. I just want to focus on my career and Yoder just started his own DEVGRU career. We're kinda two ships passing in the night right now. We do text and call each other to check in."
"You guys have been friends for a long time right?"
"Almost eight years."
"How is he liking Alpha?"
"He loves it. Alpha is a good place for him. The guys there are all really open minded and Derek will appreciate Yoder's instincts. It won't be long before he's Alpha Two." Clay said proudly.
"I was going to pick him, but Ray was pretty adamant about picking Vic. I am glad that he likes being on Alpha. I'm assuming he is gay?"
"His whole life."
"The guys will be good with it. Some of the other teams might have had an issue with it, but Derek won't tolerate it. Everyone on Bravo would have been fine with it too. You know the guys don't care about that stuff." At least Jason was hoping Clay knew that.
"Right the heavily religious Ray Perry and the texan caveman would be fine with homosexuality." Clay said sarcastically.
"Ray has beliefs, but he also knows that the bible was written during a time where homosexuality was considered not only a sin, but a sign you were possessed by the devil. He has no problem with homosexuals. He has a few friends that are gay. As for Sonny, he is a big Texas idiot, but he is an idiot with a Texas size heart. He just wants people happy, he doesn't care who you love just as long as you are happy and being treated right. When Brock first joined he was convinced Brock was gay. He was so convinced he took Brock to a gay club one night and tried to set him up. Brock was really good about it and he thought Sonny was gay and trying to get him to play wingman. After a few minutes they both discovered they were both straight. They spent the night trying to see who could get the other more phone numbers. None of the guys would care about Yoder being gay or you being bi-sexual."
The last thing Jason wanted was for Clay thinking the guys would have a problem with his sexuality. Whether Clay wanted to be around them or not, he wanted to make sure Clay knew they wouldn't care about him being bi-sexual.
"It doesn't matter anyways. I'm on Delta and Yoder is on Alpha, so we will never have to worry about it."
"And you like being on Delta?" Jason asked, carefully.
"I like being able to just do my job. It's simpler that way. I do my job and then come home. If I want to go out I can without having to run it by someone first." Clay said, referring to Jason's rule about keeping him updated on where you were even if it was during your vacation time.
"I can see how that would be appealing to you. You are used to being on your own and doing your own thing. It can be a lot for someone like yourself to be on a team that was like Bravo. We probably should have eased you into it more. But it wasn't all bad, right?"
"I don't regret my relationship with you, or Cerb." Clay said with a small smirk.
"Cerb misses you. He still won't let anyone near your cage and everytime one of the guys goes to pet him he grows at em. He also barks every time Vic goes by."
Clay gave a small chuckle to that. "Smart boy. Vic is an asshole. I can't believe you actually picked him. It's a good thing I'm not on the team anymore, I wouldn't have worked with him."
"What makes you say that?" Jason asked. Clay had instincts that they didn't have. He could see through the bullshit and look into what lays behind it. As if he was psychic in another life. It's what made his mind so valuable in the field and with strategy.
"That would be crossing over into another territory. It's for Bravo One to figure out."
"Fair enough. I will heed the warning though."
Jason wished they could have gotten into it, but he could tell that Clay wasn't going to cross that line and he had to respect that. There was something he was hoping that Clay would talk about.
"I know you told us that you wanted us to keep the drugs a secret. We're respecting that. But as your father, if there is anything you need to talk about. If there is anything you would like advice about or some help with, you can tell me. It will stay between us. Between father and son. I give you my word on it."
Before Clay could say anything the doorbell rang and they knew it was the pizza. Clay went to get up, but Jason stopped him.
"I got it."
Clay gave a nod and took this time to think about what Jason had said. He was still trying to get evidence on the team being dirty, or evidence enough to get all of them taken down. He also had no idea who in the Upper Brass was protecting them. Plus he needed to catch Agent Marks as well. He would be lying if he said he didn't want to talk to someone about it. He would normally talk to Jason, but things between them had been different and tense. Tonight though, things didn't seem so bad. If Jason wanted to keep things personal and not professional, Clay was good with that. Jason handed Clay a plate with a slice as he sat down and placed the pizza box down on the coffee table.
"I'm working in Delta, but I'm not working for Delta." Clay started.
Instantly the hair on the back of Jason's neck stood up. If Clay was on Delta, but wasn't working for them, that could only mean he was doing something more dangerous.
"And who are you working for?"
"The CIA. Before tour started I came home and three Agents were sitting in my living room. There was an operation that Delta went on since I had joined the team. We raided a cartel's warehouse and when we got back in our cage room they had two duffle bags full of cash that I was under the impression that we had burned like we were ordered to. They stole it."
"You reported it." Jason stated.
Clay shook his head. "I looked the other way. And each time after that."
Clay was not going to be telling Jason about the money or the drugs he had been taking as well. He didn't need to know that part of it. It wouldn't change the outcome.
"That's not like know you are just as guilty for looking the other way as they are for taking it." Jason said, gently. He didn't want to make it sound like he was lecturing Clay, but he couldn't just shut up and nod either.
"I know. I don't really know why. Everything had just happened and I wasn't thinking straight."
"Can't blame you on that one. Everything with the team exploded, your apartment. It's natural for you to have self-destructed a bit. CIA offer you something?"
Jason couldn't really blame Clay for not reporting it, for having problems after what had happened with the team. Anyone would self-destruct after what Clay had been through, especially with his memory capabilities.
"Turns out the CIA had been trying to shut Delta down for years. It wasn't just Delta that was dirty, but also their support team, Commander Boden. Agent Marks and someone in the Upper Brass as well. They were doing more than stealing money too. They were going on unsanctioned missions overseas. They've also stolen millions and everyone gets a cut in Delta, Boden and their person in the Upper Brass. They don't have enough to take them all down."
"That's where you come in."
"Ya, they made me a deal. I get full immunity on anything illegal I have done or have to do within the team. The only catch, I only get that immunity if I give them what they need to arrest them all. Otherwise I'm on the hook for every time I participate in an unsanctioned mission, every time I take the money to play along. It's all or nothing."
Jason let out a deep breath before he spoke. "What do you have?"
"I'm supposed to document everything, so I have a notebook of every mission we've gone on, everything that happened in it. I have every amount that was taken and divided up amongst each person. I've been trying to figure out who in the Upper Brass is working with them, but it's not that simple. They follow the chain of command very strictly. So Boden only speaks with Maddoc. Maddoc only speaks with Sanders. I'm assuming only Boden speaks with whoever it is in the Upper brass that is working with them and Agent Marks. I can't get close enough yet to any party involved to pick the person out. I know it's not anyone that I know. None of them are dirty, but that leaves hundreds of other people that it could be."
"How long do you have?"
"Agent Brooks is my handler for this. He checks in once a month, as long as I am getting results and getting intel that can be used later on he is good with it. He knows it's not going to be a quick thing. So far he has been happy with what I've gotten for him. It's only going to last for so long though. If I can't figure out who in the Upper Brass is working with Delta, I'm going to be in serious trouble. Agent Brooks isn't going to wait a year or more before I can actually give him a name. Even once I do get a name, I still have to work the mark and get something actionable which will take time."
Clay knew it was going to be a problem finding out the name within the Upper Brass. He also knew it was going to be a problem finding a way to get in with the Upper Brass to get dirt on him. It was going to take time, time Agent Brooks was accepting, but he wouldn't wait years for it.
"Why don't I see what I can dig up? I know different people then you do, people that will talk gossip with me over you. I might be able to get you a name to work." Jason offered. He was more than happy to help Clay out with this. Clay could lose his career if he didn't get the immunity. That was something Jason couldn't let happen.
"Are you sure? I don't want to put you at risk." Clay instantly said.
"I'll be fine and I can be very sneaky and careful. I'll see if I can dig something up. You need that name to get your immunity. I don't mind helping and it will stay between us. Though, now it makes sense why you don't want us reporting the drugging. That would blow everything up and you would get taken down in the process."
"Can't get immunity if there is no team to spy on. I would appreciate it though if you could try and find a name."
"I'll see what I can dig up. You're being safe?"
"Ya my eidetic memory serves me well in this case. I can write down everything that happened once I am away from them. They have no idea anything is going on. I do as I am told and I don't go against them. As far as they all know, I'm just one of the guys."
"Good. I know it's hard, but that is the best thing you can do right now. Don't give them a reason to look your way for anything. If they think they can trust you, they'll talk more around you and you might get something else you can use. You're smart, you'll outsmart them and take down a corrupt team. You are carving out your own piece of legacy. Good for you, I'm proud of you. This takes a lot of courage and not a lot of team guys would have the balls to do it." Jason said, proudly.
Jason was very proud of Clay for taking this on. He could have easily taken the hit or used one of his connections within the Upper Brass or political world to protect him from the fall out, but he wasn't. He was taking this huge risk and going after a whole team, something that could get him killed. Even if he doesn't get killed in this, the fall out from the other teams could be intense. It was one thing to not want to be corrupt, it was another to be working undercover to take a whole team down. Clay was going against the Green Wall and that came with some very old thinking mentality that would argue Clay should be PNG because of it. Jason was completely supportive of Clay's decision even if he wasn't at risk of being discharged. There was no excuse to have a team in DEVGRU corrupt. They were supposed to help people, to help protect innocent people and stop the evil in the world. They weren't supposed to profit off of it and use it to their advantage.
"I just hope I can do it."
"You can and I will do whatever you need to help you." Jason said with a warm smile.
Clay gave a smile in return. He did feel better after talking with Jason. He always had that effect on him. He could always help him get his mind sorted out when it was a tangled mess. He was hoping Jason could get him that name and then he could really make some progress on taking down Delta. Once Delta was gone, Clay wasn't sure what he would do, but he would figure it out later. For now he just needed to get them taken down and get his career safe.
XXX
The next night Clay had just finished taking a shower and made his way back out into the living room to work on some translations for Ash. So far working for Ash had been going really well. They've never had any problems and Ash was pleased with his work. Clay had finished three languages and each time Ash had paid him the bonuses without a single problem. Clay was surprised it was going so well, but he wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Clay walked out into the living room and saw Ash sitting on his couch. Clay stopped dead in his tracks. Up until this point Ash had never come over. Whenever they needed to meet, they would meet at the bar or for dinner. Ash had never just come over before. Clay's eyes instantly went to the plate of cocaine that was sitting on his coffee table. Clay knew he was using a lot, more so than he should be, but he couldn't seem to stop. He didn't want to stop. The plate had gone from being hidden away in the cupboard, to the kitchen counter to now sitting on the coffee table so he could do multiple lines throughout the evening as he was working. Ash had clearly seen the drugs and Clay could tell by the look in his eyes that this conversation was not going to go over well.
"I was going to come over here and talk to you about doing something for me. Imagine my surprise when I walk in to see cocaine on a plate just sitting on the coffee table. Now I know you are going to do exactly what I say." Ash said, with a smug smile.
"And why would I do that?" Clay challenged. He wasn't just going to give in.
"Because if you don't, the photos that I took are going to go straight to Admiral Watson. He's a stickler for the rules. You'll be drug tested first thing in the morning and with one piss test you'll be dishonourably discharged." Ash said, as he sat back.
Clay knew he had immunity through the CIA, but it wasn't in effect technically until he delivered them Delta and everyone connected to them. Agent Brooks wouldn't be able to help him with this. Clay had no choice, but to do whatever it was that Ash wanted.
"What do you want?"
"What can I do for you, Sir." Ash corrected.
"What can I do for you Sir?" Clay said. He was getting very used to calling someone Sir at this point.
"There's a woman, Sophie Allison, she runs a modelling agency with her husband Brad Allison. They make close to thirty million dollars a year from their models. They are all globally known models, top of the line. Sophie is thirty-two and has been married for six years. They have a prenup with an infidelity clause. If she is caught cheating he will own one hundred percent of the business and all of the profits. She comes in from New York to do business meetings and while she is here she goes to a bar to hook up with someone. I've tried to catch her on camera, but she always waits until there is no one around before she does anything."
"Ok, not sure why it matters to you." Clay said, confused as to why they were talking about this woman.
"Because I have been trying to get her to sign a contract with my security firm to be her models' bodyguards. She refuses so far to switch companies to me. It would be a ten million dollar a year contract. She's in town tonight, you are going to go to the bar and you are going to fuck her. I have cameras, you can set them up in your truck and record the whole thing. I will then show them to her and blackmail her into signing the contract with us."
"You want me to have sex with her, record it, so you can blackmail her?" Clay asked, shocked.
It was insane, absolutely insane. He had no idea why Ash would even want to do something like this. Yes it was a big contract, but to blackmail a woman and potentially ruin a marriage, it was too far.
"Oh you aren't just going to have sex with her, you are going to make her look like the whore she is. You are going to fuck her multiple times in your truck, in different positions. You are going to basically make a porno in your truck so I can use it to blackmail her into doing whatever I want and agreeing to whatever my price. You are going to make it the best sex of her life, so if she tries and screws me over, I can sell it to her husband for millions."
"And this is how you do business? Blackmail?" Clay asked, disgusted.
"This is how I make twenty million a year. Money is the only thing that matters son, you should know that. You are going to do this tonight or tomorrow morning you will be dishonourably discharged for being a drug addict."
"I'm not a drug addict." Clay instantly said.
Ash gave a chuckle to that. "Sure, I don't care either way." Ash tossed a small black duffle bag down onto the coffee table as he spoke. "Cameras are in the bag, they are small enough she won't see em. Make sure you get it all over the front and back seats. I want multiple angles. Black Saloon Bar, she'll be there in an hour, you have to be there first. What's it gonna be?"
Clay didn't have a choice right now. He wasn't going to lose his career because of Ash.
"I'll do it Sir." Clay said, knowing there was nothing else he could say right now.
Ash gave Clay a smirk as he got up and made his way out of the house. Once the door closed, Clay couldn't help but sit down on the couch and let out a long sigh. This was not how his night was supposed to go. Clay liked this house, but tonight had only reminded him that it wasn't his own place. He had paid off the loan to the bank thanks to all of the money he was getting from the cartel and stash house raids. Clay figured it might be time to find his own place. Rent a house or see about a mortgage so he could have his own house where he wouldn't have to worry about someone coming in unannounced or unwanted. He had a bunch of money saved up from being on tour, he could easily afford a hefty down deposit for a house. Tonight was going to suck, but he had no choice. His career was once again on the line and he wasn't going to lose it, no matter what. Clay moved the plate over and did a quick line before he went into his bedroom to get dressed. He was just hoping the woman wouldn't be hideous.
It was forty minutes later when Clay was sitting in his truck at the back of the parking lot for the bar. There were no lights where he was so no one would see them. He had added the cameras all over the truck and he connected them to his phone so he just had to hit a button to get them started. He had also looked up Sophie Allison and was pleased to see she was very attractive, it would make this easier at least. Clay did one more line of cocaine before he popped a Molly and then got out of his truck and headed into the bar. He went to the bar and sat down to order a whiskey. Clay looked around the room to see if Sophie was already here, but he didn't see her. Clay gave a warm smile to the bartender as she handed him his drink. Clay sat there and just waited for when Sophie would arrive. That happened ten minutes later and to his luck, she sat down next to him.
"Hello beautiful." Clay said with a rich toned voice as he turned to face her.
"Hey." Sophie said back with a smile.
"I'm Clay, what's your name?"
"Sophie."
"You waiting for your husband?" He asked, with a nod to her wedding ring.
"Nope. I'm here all alone." Sophie answered, as she placed her duffle bag down on the ground.
"Well then, can I buy you a drink beautiful?" Clay asked, with a sexy smirk. It had always worked for him and he doubted it wouldn't this time. He already knew Sophie was her to get laid.
Sophie just gave Clay a smirk as she reached over and picked up his drink, downing it in one go.
"You got a car here?" Sophie asked instead, getting down to business.
"Truck, out back."
Sophie picked up her duffle bag and got off the stool. "Lead the way."
"You sure?" Clay asked, he needed to make sure she wanted this.
"I'm not here to get drunk. I'm here to get fucked by someone other than my boring ass husband. Now that could be you or it could be any other guy in this place. What's it gonna be?" Sophie challenged.
Clay gave her a big smile as he took her hand and they headed out of the bar to the back parking lot. He led Sophie over to his truck, on the way he turned the cameras on record before he opened the back door. Sophie got in and Clay closed it behind him. Sophie wasn't about to wait for him to make the first move. Sophie grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down to her. His lips instantly found hers and the kiss quickly turned heated.
(Dirty version will be on my AO3 Account)
Sophie collapsed down onto the back seat and turned around so she could see Clay. His face and some of his hair was soaked. The front of his pants were as well and she couldn't help but be turned on by the sight. She had done that to him and she was loving it. Clay fixed his clothes and Sophie moved to correct her own mess.
"Well, thank-you for the great time. I'm going to need to come up with an excuse to come back out this way before six months. I need your cock again."
"You got my number." Clay easily said.
Once she was dressed Sophie grabbed her duffle bag and headed out of Clay's truck. Clay sat back in the seat and picked up his phone, turning the cameras off. He was still feeling the effects from the drugs, but he was also starting to feel like a piece of shit for what he had just done. Sophie was probably a nice woman, she was cheating on her husband. But that wasn't for him to judge. Still, he had made her act like a whore for the course of a couple of hours in the backseat of his truck. All so Ash wouldn't send the photo of the cocaine in his house to the Upper Brass. He seriously needed to think about getting his own house. Clay's thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing. He looked down and saw that it was Ash.
"Ya." Clay said, as he answered it.
"Very well done. If being in the navy doesn't work out for you, you could be in porn."
"How the hell do you know what happened?" Clay asked, confused.
"When you started the cameras the feed goes right to my phone. I watched it." Ash simply said.
Clay couldn't even form words to how disgusting and wrong that was. His own biological father had just watched him having sex. It was just too gross and made him feel violated.
"You do understand how wrong that is right?" Clay said.
"You ain't got nothing I haven't seen. You did good. I won't send those photos to the Upper Brass, this time."
"This time, what the hell are you talking about?"
"You didn't actually think I would delete them did you?" Ash laughed at that. "I told you, money is all that matters even if you have to get there through blackmail. You never know when I might need you to do something again. You got a lot to learn."
Before Clay could even say anything to that, Ash had ended the call.
"You son of a bitch!" Clay yelled into his empty truck.
Of course Ash wouldn't actually delete the photos. Clay couldn't believe this. He had enough people demanding shit from him, he didn't need Ash to go with it. Clay knew Jason would say to work the problem, and right now the only problem he could work was getting Delta taken down. Clay got the rest of his clothes back on and removed the cameras before he got into the driver's seat and headed off to the house.