Chapter 2: Wait, how long ago?

I don't own 'Harry Potter'

Harry stood looking at the glass tank in front of him with a contemplative expression.

It was always something that had made him different, made him stand out from his peers when all he wanted to do was blend into the crowd and be a normal boy with normal problems, not someone that had an unsettling connection to one of the evilest people in their society. He'd never wanted to be unique and different, and embracing that part of him at this moment would finally be admitting to himself that he was different. Not something he was too keen on.

But then again, the potential to fuck with people was far too high to pass up.

Harry turned around to his husband and nodded decisively. "I want one."

Regulus paused in his browsing of the shelves and looked at his husband with a brow raised in question before he tilted his head to see behind the smaller man. One glance at what was resting behind the glass and grey eyes widened and Regulus blanched slightly.

He looked at Harry flatly. "No."

"Why not?"

"Do you even know what that is?" Regulus asked while gesturing behind Harry.

An affronted look was on the time traveller's face at that. "Do I look stupid?"

"Harry."

"What?"

Regulus sighed and pinned him with a beseeching look. "Why exactly do you want a snake?"

Harry grinned widely. "Two reasons; one: because I am one hundred percent sure it will listen to me and understand me when I tell it something –"

"Of course it will, you speak snake language," came the muttered reply.

"– and two: think about how fun it'll be to have a ready and willing ally to mess with people. Like Charlus. Or Alphard. To be quite frank, I'm getting sick of the belated congratulations cards with dirty limericks in them. Where the fuck did the two of them find muggle limericks, anyway?"

"I'd really rather not know," Regulus said dryly, more than likely also remembering the pile of garish cards spelled to sing out filthy jokes when they were opened. Thank fuck they hadn't opened any around Marcus, though imagining what Dorea would do to his idiot adoptive father if they had made him want to cackle and take pictures of the resulting violence. Maybe he should arrange something with her, she seemed the type to enjoy her husband's pain …

"Stop plotting, Husband. And can we please get back to the matter of why you want a highly-dangerous creature?"

Harry pouted despite trying to resist grinning and snogging Regulus. Apparently it was bad manners to do that in public, though Harry thought that pure-bloods really needed to lighten the fuck up and admit that some of them actually liked their spouses. Shock! Horror! You actually got married because of mutual feelings?! How strange!

Their world was a sad, sad place.

(Although when he thought about it, he did prefer snogging his husband at home. It was a beautiful and magical place, with so many amazing things like wards that kept every single person out and a fuck-ton of rooms with soft and comfortable surfaces to defile. Yep, his home was so much nicer.)

"I will have you know that I am not plotting in the slightest. Is there anything wrong with wanting to spend a little quality time with my beloved father's wife? She really is an incredible witch, wouldn't you agree?"

"Aunt Dorea is mad and she enables you too much," his husband replied flatly. "And stop dodging the question; why do you want something so dangerous?"

"I'm not dodging anything, and I told you why. What's wrong with having a little fun and buying a pet?"

Regulus pinched the bridge of his nose and Harry had to bite his lip before he started grinning maniacally and sniggering. Regulus had become quite accustomed to Harry's madness over the course of their time together, so much so that it was getting to be quite difficult to push him so far into exasperation. But Harry had succeeded once more. That's my job for the day done.

Was it terrible of him to want to mess with his own husband so much? Was he a horrible person? I mean, he was basically poking and prodding at Regulus' mental buttons so much that he was inviting retribution.

… Though when he thought about what said retribution usually entailed in the privacy of their own home, he was quite happy to keep pushing. After all, their bed was gloriously comfortable.

"Fun? You call a highly-venomous snake fun? You want one as a pet?"

"In my defence, that tiny little thing really doesn't bother me after Voldy's twelve-foot pet and the sixty-foot Basilisk chilling under the castle."

The twitch he got at his words was fucking hilarious, as were the muttered words about the oversized snake in Hogwarts. (Apparently Regulus had developed something of an affinity for Fiendfyre if his quiet but fervent plans were any indication.)

"Harry. Just because a Boomslang is less than six-foot long and a non-magical creature doesn't mean it's not dangerous. It's incredibly fast and venomous, not to mention it's physically strong and likes strangling people."

Before Harry could reply, the hissing from behind him rose in volume and he snorted, a hand coming up to cover his mouth as he tried not to break down laughing in the middle of the Magical Menagerie.

He was definitely taking that snake home.

"I - I don't think that'll be a problem. He's … he's pretty damn desperate to leave right now," Harry managed through his giggles and hiccoughing. He even had tears in his eyes at the sound of the desperate screams for freedom he could hear through the glass.

Nearly every snake or snake-related thing had been a total pain the arse over the course of Harry's life, and the only time a snake had really made him happy had been when the boa constrictor snapped at Dudley and made him scream in terror, though even that was overshadowed by the fact he was locked up and practically starved for the following week – something he was not going to mention to his dark and murderous husband, he wasn't an idiot.

This snake though made his stomach hurt with how much he was laughing, and he could see a few people in his peripheral vision gawking at the fact that a Black spouse was acting so normal – and let's be honest, a little mad – without censoring himself at all. Not to mention his actual Black husband was just stood there smirking at him in amusement as Harry laughed himself silly. (He kind of wished some of Regulus' arsehole relatives could see them now, and he really didn't care if that made him petty.)

An elegant brow raised in question was his response. "Oh? What do you mean by that?"

§I'm begging you, let me out! She's insane, and she's going to kill me, and I will not have hatchlings with her, I swear!§

§I don't care what I have to do, I'll even give up birds for life, but please don't let her touch me!§

§Let me be free!§

Harry had to breathe in carefully through his nose and out again to try and control himself at the paranoia of the nearly-six-foot snake behind him. The bright-green serpent was apparently terrified of the female in the tank next to him, especially as she kept hissing that they were going to be bought together and they could mate and have hatchlings afterwards. Something the male did not want. He was even willing to forego eating birds forever – his absolute favourite meal – if someone would save him from the female's company and buy him.

He was hilarious. And also kind of stupid.

Harry stepped closer and leant up on tip toes to whisper directly in Regulus' ear word for word what the insane snake was shouting about, and when he pulled back he snorted quietly at the look of disbelief on his husband's face. Yeah, the snake was whacked.

"I'd ask if you were sure, but I have no doubt you understood correctly. What a strange creature. Aren't they supposed to be predators? Not sitting there shrieking for help and acting like a mad person."

"Well, at least he'll fit in with our family," Harry murmured slyly.

Regulus side-eyed him with a flat expression before rolling his eyes. "Fine. I honestly don't care as long as you tell him I'll use him in my potions if he attacks and that the female isn't coming with us."

"Done." He leant up and kissed Regulus on the cheek quickly before pulling back with a grin. "Thanks, Regulus."

He turned back to the tank and beamed.

This should be fun.

"Harry?"

"Hmm?"

Regulus turned to see Harry flopped on his stomach flicking through a book on snake behaviour and dietary requirements – though it seemed their newly-named Ophiuchus didn't care one bit about regular snake activity and happily curled up in front of the fire more often than not like a cat – absentmindedly muttering to himself about buying some rats for their serpent friend to eat.

It seemed seeing the small rodents devoured whole was rather therapeutic for his husband. Considering Pettigrew's actions, he could understand why.

And really, he still couldn't get over the bloody thing being called 'Ophiuchus'. He loved Harry, but the man had a terrible sense of humour.

"Come on Regulus, he's part of our family now so he needs a proper Black name! Besides, it's either Ophiuchus or Serpens, and somehow I don't think you want to name the snake the Greek equivalent of the word 'snake'."

No, he didn't, hence why Ophiuchus was chosen by default. He and Harry both had too much imagination to bequeath the name 'Snake' onto an actual snake. It was terribly unoriginal, not to mention comparable to a child naming a stuffed animal after the creature it depicted. So Ophiuchus it was, and the mad reptile quite happily slithered round their grounds singing the praises of Harry and Regulus for saving him from the mad female Boomslang in the shop. Or so Harry often told him while sniggering.

He wondered if this was what they'd be like with children.

Regulus cleared his throat. "Did you ever figure out where the Parselmouth ability came from?"

Harry paused and raised his head, blinking green eyes bewilderedly. "Actually, I didn't." He sat up cross-legged and looked at Regulus as he mused. "I mean, clearly it wasn't because of the Horcrux because I'm happily Voldemort-free and can still talk to snakes.

"I'm more inclined to believe Andromeda's theory that it was something passed down through the blood, but I honestly have no clue where it would have come in. Nobody's ever mentioned anything about a Gaunt or Slytherin marrying into the family though, so it would have to be someone that changed their name or something that happened centuries ago. Though it if did happen so long ago, I don't understand why I'm the only one that ended up being able to speak to snakes."

His husband made a good point. The ability seemed to be akin to Family magic, meaning there was nothing inherently evil about the gift, just a rather unfortunate connotation to a Dark Lord and the Founder that left the others. If there had been a descendant or member of the Slytherin family marrying into the Potters it would have been common knowledge, at least it would have if it'd been recent. Perhaps some investigating wouldn't go amiss …

Regulus met green eyes head on. "How far back does the tapestry at The Pottery go?"

"God knows. I was more distracted with trying to make sure I didn't appear as James Potter's son while being the same age as him."

Thank fuck that didn't happen. Telling that particular Potter would have been a nightmare, and he would have involved his wife and Sirius, and Regulus probably would have been far too tempted to commit fratricide.

"Why don't we go and have a look? If there is a Gaunt or Slytherin in your ancestry it would explain everything. I also have a theory concerning why only you are a Parselmouth and none of your relatives."

Harry smirked. "Let me guess. This theory is something you won't be sharing with me until you're proven right."

"Harry, darling," he drawled playfully, "do I look like the type of person to give out false information? I'm simply saving you the trouble of exploring an untested hypothesis."

"Of course. I'm ever so grateful for your kindness and forethought." Harry really was a sarcastic little shit.

He rolled his eyes. "Come on, let's go. It's not as if that book's all that useful for the demented reptile outside, anyway."

"I'll have you know that Ophiuchus is just unique," Harry sniffed in mock offence. "He's much too amazing to have to act like his fellow snakes."

Sure, if 'unique' means 'undiagnosed brain damage'.

His lips twitched. "If you say so. Are you ready?"

The smaller man stood up and sighed exaggeratedly. "So much for a day of peace. Let's go!"

Before he could question his husband's spontaneous enthusiasm, muscled arms wrapped around his waist tightly and he was whisked away by a quick Apparition.

When he could breathe without vomiting again, he was so going to hex Harry.

"Why are there so many names?!"

Grey eyes looked far too amused for his liking right now. "You do realise the Potters date all the way back to the twelfth century, don't you? Some also had up to seven children. It's no wonder we've been here for hours."

Harry glared at the smug git. "What happened to us being partners and equals? You're supposed to share in my misery, not make it worse!"

Regulus just smirked and leant over quickly, kissing Harry very deeply and thoroughly, making more than one of the surrounding portraits cheer and/or let out a lewd remark that he really wasn't paying attention to. His husband's tongue was far more interesting.

When he pulled back – much to Harry's displeasure; what they were researching wasn't nearly as interesting as the kissing, no doubt about it – Regulus smirked before pecking him on the nose. And yeah, it was bloody cute. And that shouldn't make him love the other man just as much as the snogging, but it did, and Merlin he was hopeless, wasn't he?

"Just think, we've only got four generations to go until we go back to the originator of the family."

Harry snorted. "Yeah, all the way back to the Peverells."

"What?"

He looked up to see bewildered and shocked grey eyes looking at him intensely. "What's wrong?"

"You said the Peverells. What did you mean by that?"

"Didn't I tell you?" Harry questioned with a frown. "The Peverells married into the Potter family right at the beginning. That's where the Potter Invisibility Cloak came from. The youngest of the three brothers, Ignotus Peverell, only had a granddaughter to pass the cloak onto, and she ended up marrying the eldest son of the first Potter. The cloak's been passed down from each generation to the next for centuries since."

"The Peverells were a medieval family, and even though they went extinct later than the Founders' families, there was a period of time in which there was an overlap. There were also rumours of the different families marrying each other," Regulus said as he spelled their stools higher so they could see the top of the tapestry.

As they came face to face with the very beginning of the family tapestry, they took a moment to be grateful that the magic of the artefact could also name the ancestors of those that had married into the family.

"There."

Iolanthe Peverell, the granddaughter of Ignotus, had married Hardwin Potter, the eldest son of Linfred of Stinchcombe and had five children during their marriage. However, it seemed that Iolanthe was definitely one of the earliest examples – if not the first – of Potters marrying grey or dark magicals.

Iolanthe's mother was born Alianor Slytherin.

Harry looked at the name and didn't know what he should think about this. On the one hand, he shared very – thankfully very – distant relations with Voldy, both through the Peverell and Slytherin lines, which was disgusting and gross and any other synonym he could think of, but on the other, this proved that Dumbledore was wrong beyond a shadow of a doubt. He shared blood with Salazar Slytherin himself so his abilities were entirely natural.

He so wished he could rub it in the old goat's face.

"Okay, first things first, we need to get back down on the ground. I don't like being up this high when I'm not in control. Flying's one thing, but this thing feels like a bloody death trap. Secondly, let's hear this theory of yours about how I inherited a magical ability from someone eight centuries in the past."

Regulus rolled his eyes but obligingly lowered them to the ground slowly. Harry wasn't joking about not liking heights like this. The bloody thing felt like it would shatter at any moment, and that wasn't the afternoon with his husband he had in mind.

"Okay. The first and most important fact to remember is that you do indeed have a Slytherin in your ancestry, despite it being so long ago. Family magic can linger in the blood for centuries even if it seems strange to think about, so you already possessed the potential for such magic to awaken in you.

Regulus leant back against one the tables with his arms crossed. "The next piece of information that is imperative we keep in mind is that Voldemort's mother was a Gaunt and he was born a Parselmouth. Despite bearing his father's name, he was clearly a Gaunt in terms of magic. His connection to the Slytherin line was much closer than yours.

"Of course this is merely conjecture, but I do believe that him accidentally turning you into a Horcrux caused a magical reaction inside your body and forcibly awakened the dormant ability. A piece of his soul resided inside you, and it was a piece of soul from somebody that was a Parselmouth. That piece of soul interacted with a soul of someone that also had a connection to Slytherin, distant as it was, and drew out the magic both souls had in common.

"You said that the Horcrux warped your core from light to dark grey over time," said the taller man as he gestured vaguely towards Harry's torso, "meaning it also had the opportunity to warp other aspects of your magic."

The library was silent in the wake of Regulus' words and Harry took a moment to mull over his husband's theory. There was complex magic involved, magic which neither of them had studied or ever would, and Regulus' explanation was one in which it tested all sorts of rules and regulations of magic and what it should do.

It also tested common sense.

"That's bullshit," Harry replied flatly.

Regulus blinked incredulously. "I beg your pardon?"

"Magic doesn't just give you a long-lost ability from a millennium ago because some idiot several hundred branches over on the family tree tries to kill you after doing some pretty stupid magic. It doesn't work like that!"

"Right. Because accidentally smashing a mystical box and waking up two decades in the past is so much more ordinary. Please forgive my lapse of judgement," Regulus deadpanned.

Bastard. Why did he have to sound so logical?

Harry snapped his mouth shut and glared off the side, ignoring his stupidly red cheeks as he conceded – at least in his mind – that the other man probably had a point. Maybe. Possibly.

… Why did he have to go and fall in love with a snarky git that was a genius?

He slumped and huffed over their – once more – messed up situation. "Okay, fine. You're probably right, so what did you want to do now?"

Harry felt more than saw Regulus come up behind him and slip warm arms around his waist and rested his chin on Harry's shoulder.

"Nothing about your ability, but I thought I'd take my lovely husband up on his offer and commandeer our barmy new snake to terrify my uncle Alphard. After all, he is coming to visit us today."

Harry felt a grin spread across his face at the prospect of some fun and retribution. The crazy Black wouldn't know what had hit him, and he couldn't wait for the Pensieve-worthy memories to unfold before him.

He turned and kissed Regulus on the cheek before grinning at him. "It's a date."

After all, he was a Black now. It would rude not to get to know his new family.

A/N: Hey guys!

Sorry this didn't come out sooner, apparently I'm so drained I can't even tell how many days or weeks are passing me by lol. I'll get a schedule up soon, I promise!

Quick question, does anyone know any good fics focusing on the Black family? I'm thinking of starting a Community for a list of them. Not only do I get a few messages for recommendations, I'd also like to read a few more :)

Until next time!