"Bal, pleeeeease? I've never played, and isn't it like a rite of passage or something?"

"I mean, sure, but usually you need more than two people to play," Balthazar said, touching Cas's shoulder and laughing nervously. "Besides, you're way too drunk."

"Yeah, but I need practice!" Cas insisted. "Meg asked me out, remember? And I said yes! What if she wants to kiss me and I don't know how?"

Balthazar really didn't know how to answer that. Of course Cas needed practice, he was fourteen. He'd never been on a date before, let alone kissed anyone. And if he was being honest, the thought of Cas kissing Meg made Balthazar kinda queasy. He really didn't want to think about why that was.

"Fine," he sighed. "We can play spin the bottle… with two people. What the hell?"

Cas laughed happily and put his hands on Balthazar's legs, using them as leverage to push himself to his feet. "Now we just need a bottle."

Balthazar grinned at the determined look on Castiel's face. "Love, there's a bottle right next to you. The one you just finished drinking out of."

"Oh." Cas plopped back down on the carpet and situated himself across from Balthazar, grabbing the bottle and setting it between the two of them. "Alright, so I just spin it right? And then I kiss… whoever it lands on?"

Balthazar laughed. "Yes, that's generally how the game is played." He couldn't help but grin at how adorable Cas was. "Well go on now."

Cas nodded and flicked the bottle, jumping when it spun off to the side a few feet. "Oops."

Balthazar glanced over at it with a smirk. "I mean, I suppose it's pointed at me. Wouldn't you say so?"

Cas grinned and nodded. "I mean there's no one else it could be pointing to."

"My point exactly."

Balthazar swallowed thickly. He could only stall for so long. And why was he stalling anyways? Cas was his best friend. It wasn't weird. Why would it be?

"So…" Cas laughed breathlessly, sitting cross-legged with his hands clasped in his lap. "How do we do this?"

Balthazar inched closer until their knees touched. His heart was pounding in his chest. "Just, um… here, put your hand on my shoulder or something and, uh…" Balthazar trailed off, looking at Cas. His heart caught in his throat at the way Cas was staring at him with wide, innocent eyes. "Like this…" Balthazar closed his eyes and leaned in, touching his lips to Cas's ever so lightly. He slotted his bottom lip between Castiel's slightly parted lips and just… stayed there. He couldn't move. Couldn't breathe.

Cas hummed softly and leaned forward a fraction of an inch. It took everything Balthazar had not to grab him and kiss him and never ever stop.

He stayed there, eyes closed tight, for a few more seconds before slowly pulling away. Hesitantly opening his eyes, he saw Cas frozen in time for a moment with his eyes closed and lips parted. Then his eyes blinked open slowly and he smiled at Balthazar.

"Well," he said, giggling softly. "I guess now I know what all the fuss is about."

Balthazar laughed, trying to hide how much doing so pained him. "Happy to be of service." Cas didn't say anything to that and Balthazar had to look away, licking his lips. "Well, uh… You know… I just wanted to make sure your first kiss was with someone who really loves you."

"Balth?" Charlie said, snapping him out of his thoughts as they walked to the lunchroom together. "Hey, are you alright?"

"Oh, uh… yeah, I'm fine," he said, blinking hard a few times. "Just daydreaming, I guess."

Cas gave him a worried look, but he could tell Balthazar didn't want to talk about it. He didn't push. Charlie did the same, reluctantly.

"Hey Cas," Charlie said, changing the subject. "Are you going out for the wrestling team again this year? You're the best guy we've got."

Cas laughed. "I don't know about best, but yes I'm planning on it. It was a lot of fun last year. And it'll be even more fun now that Gordon was kicked off the team."

"After the way that son of a bitch choked you out last season, it's a miracle he wasn't expelled," Balthazar chimed in, shifting uncomfortably. He was trying not to let his temper flare again. Thankfully Gordon wasn't in the lunch room today, he noticed as they found a table and sat down.

"I still won that match, for the record," Cas said with a grin.

"See? The best," Charlie said, pointing at him with a smirk.

Cas laughed, but trailed off as his attention was drawn to the cafeteria entrance. Dean walked in, looking uncomfortable even as he made his way to the table where Benny and the others were sitting. The stares from the other students hadn't quite died down yet.

Cas watched him, barely even realizing he was staring, and he couldn't help but feel some sense of guilt. Sure, they had been talking a little bit, but only in class. At Sonny's Cas still found it difficult to even look at him. It was one thing to talk to Dean in a classroom setting where they had to stay mostly focused on their assignments. But at home… Cas was afraid of what might happen if he let himself cross that line.

At least Dean wasn't completely alone, Cas reasoned. But he knew that didn't change the way he felt every time Dean tried to talk to him at Sonny's and Cas shot him down.

Dean had forgotten the biggest reason he hated school. He was always the new kid, always the mysterious weirdo that came and left in a year or less. Even though he'd been there for almost a week and he had actually made a few friends, people still stared at him.

As he walked into the cafeteria after having grabbed a tray of food, he could feel everyone staring at him. Even Cas was staring, he noticed, and Dean couldn't meet his eyes. He'd thought they had made progress in chemistry class, but Cas barely spoke a word to him once school was out.

"Hey, newbie!" Benny called, and Dean rolled his eyes. He still didn't like that nickname, but he knew Benny didn't mean any harm. And it was nice to have some boys his age who liked having him around.

He walked over to where Benny was sitting with Ash and Chuck. "Hey, Dean!" Chuck greeted him enthusiastically.
"Howdy, boys," Dean said, sitting down with a chuckle. As odd of a group as they were, Dean liked them. They didn't treat him like he had a third eye or anything.

"So, today's guesses on what kind of meat this is," Ash said, making a face at his tray and poking the food with his fork. "I'm pretty sure mine is some guy's foot."

"Mm, feet meet," Chuck chimed in, reaching for Ash's tray. "Gimme!"

"Hey, that's my foot!" Ash complained, swatting his hand away, and Chuck burst out into giggles. "No touchy!"

"Mine looks like a monkey's ass," Benny said, staring at his food and scrunching up his nose.

The four of them all busted out laughing then. As Dean's side ached with laughter, he couldn't help but think that he hadn't laughed this hard since he was four years old.

The boys picked at their food for a few minutes, then Chuck spoke up. "Hey Dean, what's up with you and Cas?"

"Huh?" Dean's eyes widened in surprise. "Uh, nothing, why?"

"Bullshit," Ash scoffed. "You two have been making googly eyes at each other in chemistry this whole week."

"How did you-"

"I keep telling you guys I'm no idiot," Ash shrugged. "Besides, it's plain as day."

"I'm not-" Dean frowned, shaking his head. "No one's making googly eyes. We're just… friends. I guess. I don't really know what we are, to tell ya the truth. Some days he'll talk to me and everything's a-okay and then he just goes dead silent on me. I don't get it."

"Cas has been through a lot," Benny told him quietly, and Dean didn't think he'd seen Benny's expression so serious in the two weeks he'd been there.

"Yeah, that's what everyone keeps saying," Dean said, frowning. "I still don't know what that means."

"Well, he's not at Sonny's for the same reasons we all ended up here," Chuck told him. "Most of us, our parents are either dead or never in the picture in the first place. But Cas, he… he basically got disowned."

"Disowned?" Dean repeated, shocked. He suddenly felt a rush of sympathy and comradery towards Castiel. He was abandoned just like me… "For… for what?"

"Lots of reasons," Benny said vaguely. "There's all these rumors but one thing I know is he got in some trouble with the cops and his dad told him not to come home."

Dean was about to ask for more details when the bell rang. Dammit. Every new thing he learned about Cas just made him want to know more about the boy. Which would be a hell of a lot easier if Cas would actually talk to him about more than their lab assignment. He still didn't understand why Cas acted completely normal in class and then totally ignored him when they were at home.

He wished he could figure out why Cas was so afraid to really be his friend.

"Dad, I'm going to Balthazar's to study," Cas said, already opening the front door.

"Hold on," Zachariah said, looking up at Cas through his glasses. He was sitting in his chair reading, and he rarely paid attention to much else when was reading. That's how Cas knew it wasn't the good kind of 'hold on.'

"Yes, father?" he responded weakly, closing the door and standing anxiously at the edge of the tile entryway.

"You're spending more and more time at this boy's house," his father said slowly. "I'm not sure I like what he's putting in your head."

Cas swallowed hard. "It's just biology, father," he said softly.

"Don't you talk smart with me, Castiel!" Zachariah snapped, his voice only raising for the first and last word he spoke. That was more terrifying than yelling to Cas. "You know damn well what I mean. Giving you ideas of individuality and that other nonsense people are spouting these days."

He said "individuality" with such distaste that Cas felt nauseous. He knew that was code for "gay."

"Dad, he's just my friend-"

"I think you should study with that nice girl next door," his father continued. "She comes from a good family, nice folks. You might like her if you'd give it a try."

Cas looked down, ashamed. "Yes, father."

At least he could still see Balthazar at school…

Cas was walking home from Charlie's house after they finished studying for the day, and he couldn't stop thinking about his father. Despite himself, he actually missed him. He missed having a family.

His father was a cruel man, and horribly old fashioned (i.e. homophobic). From his friendship with Balthazar, Cas had learned that being gay wasn't really a bad thing. That it didn't make someone wrong or unlovable like his father had always taught him. He knew that. He knew that the feelings he had were normal and that he wasn't a bad person, but when you're taught to believe a certain thing for your entire life, it's almost impossible to ever abandon that idea completely.

So it didn't matter that he wanted to be close to Dean, or that Dean was trying so hard to be his friend. It didn't matter that Cas couldn't help but smile every time Dean cracked a dumb joke or even spoke Cas's name. And it most definitely didn't matter that Cas's heart leaped every time their hands brushed during a lab assignment. None of that could matter to Cas if he ever wanted to see his family again.

Deep down, he knew it was a foolish hope, going home. His father would never allow it. But he just kept hoping that if he tried hard enough, that part of him would go away and his father would love him again. Like he loved Michael, and like he loved Anna.

Cas made it back to Sonny's and went straight upstairs to his bed. He'd eaten at Charlie's and he wasn't in the mood for social interaction.

Cas opened the bedroom door and startled when he found that the room wasn't empty. Dean was there, lying on his bed and twirling his pocket knife around his fingers, staring at it.

He glanced up when he heard the door open, and he stopped twirling when he saw Cas standing there. He sat up. "Hey."

"Hi, Dean," Cas murmured, standing still in the doorway.

"I won't bite," Dean told him after a moment, nodding to Cas's bed. "Don't worry, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to."

Cas saw the hurt in his eyes even as he spoke the words. The guilt twisted in Cas's stomach. Without really meaning to, he took a few steps closer to Dean. He didn't speak as he passed the boy and sat down on his own bed. Dean sighed, sitting with his back facing Cas now, and went back to twirling his knife.

"That's a nice knife," Cas commented despite his brain telling him to just shut up and go to sleep. "Is that real silver?"

Dean paused his ministrations and took a moment to study the inscription on the blade. "Yeah, pure silver."

"Trying to skin a werewolf or something?" Cas joked, laughing lightly.

Dean almost choked. "W-What?"

Cas frowned. "The, uh… the stories. Werewolves, pure silver stake to the heart. Ya know all those legends."

"Uh, yeah," Dean choked out. "Legends. 'Course. Uh, no, it was a gift from my uncle. Said it's good luck or something."

Cas nodded even though Dean couldn't see him. "It's nice," he said again.

"Thanks."

Cas watched as Dean went back to twirling the knife. He couldn't help but be distracted by the nimble way his fingers twisted around the blade and hilt. He remembered the way those fingers felt against his skin when he was patching him up that first day…

No. Cas stopped that thought in its tracks. But it was difficult to focus on anything but Dean…

"Take a picture," Dean grumbled, clasping his fist around the knife and setting it roughly on his nightstand. He didn't have to look to know Cas was staring at him. "It'll last longer."

Cas startled a bit and shook his head. "I- sorry."

Dean huffed out a sigh and laid down on his back. "Don't apologize," he said. "Don't pretend we're friends, either. I can take a hint."

Cas wanted to scream that no, no that wasn't it, not at all. He wanted to grab Dean's hand and tell him everything, the reason why he couldn't make himself talk to Dean like a normal human being. The reason why he had to push him away. He wished he could… but instead he just sighed softly and laid down on his side with his back to Dean. He figured this was easier. Not exactly a clean break, but as close as he could manage.

Dean had hoped that Cas would say something like the last time. In chemistry class, when Dean had pulled away, Cas had pulled him back in, made him feel like he wasn't crazy for thinking they could be friends. But this time… he gave up. Didn't say a word. Yeah, Dean could take a hint. But he would have to be a goddamn mind-reader to figure out what the hell Cas wanted from him.

After that night, Dean honestly regretted saying anything at all. At least when he muddled through Cas ignoring him at Sonny's, he knew he'd still get to talk to Cas in chem class. But when he showed up to class, Cas didn't even say hello. Great, now Cas was back to not talking to him at all.

Fine, Dean figured. He'd told Cas to tell him to go if he wanted him gone, and in not quite so many words, he'd done just that. Well at least now Dean knew where he stood. There was no point in sugar coating it. He still didn't understand it, but he didn't need to keep holding out hope.

"Daddy, daddy!"

"What is it, Castiel? I'm very busy."

"But daddy, look! I drew a picture!" Castiel held up a crayon drawing he'd done in class. His 1st grade teacher gave them daily words to draw, and today's word was 'friend.' "I made a new friend and Miss Claire said it's okay to hold hands with friends. Even the boy ones!"

Zachariah looked up when he heard that, and it was almost as if there were actual flames in his eyes. "Castiel, that is disgusting," he said firmly. He grabbed the drawing, crumpled it, and threw it in the trash. "I will not have my son holding hands with boys and becoming some kind of homo."

Cas felt tears well up in his eyes and he sniffled. "Daddy, what-"

"Go to your room, Castiel, I have work to do."

Tears spilled onto his cheeks and he ran upstairs to his bedroom, closing the door and crawling onto his bed. He muffled his sobs in a pillow, half-aware of his older brother wrapping his arms around him.

"Gabe, w-what's a homo?" Cas gasped out in between sobs. "Daddy said he doesn't want me to be one."

Gabriel rubbed his brother's back and held him close. He didn't know what to say. "It's alright, Cassie… Don't worry about that, it's alright…"

Cas turned and cried into Gabriel's shoulder, sniffling and coughing as his brother held him tight. Right then and there, without even knowing what the word meant, Cas promised himself he would never be a homo. He never wanted his dad to look at him like that ever again.

Cas woke up with sweat on the back of his neck and tears on his face. He gasped softly and sat up a bit, sniffling as he looked around the room. He was at Sonny's, not at his house. His dad wasn't here. He was safe.

"Cas?"

Castiel startled and looked over at the source of the voice: Dean.

"I-It's okay, Dean," Cas said shakily. "Go back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you."

Dean sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to get a good look at Cas in the darkness. "Are you crying?"

"N-No," Cas said, and he knew it wasn't convincing. He sniffled and wrapped his arms around his knees. "It's fine. I'm fine."

"No you're not," Dean said in a soft tone, and Cas's heart ached. He watched as Dean stood up and crossed the distance between their beds. He took a seat on the edge of Cas's mattress and Cas could just barely see his face with the moonlight shining in through the window. "C'mere," Dean said, holding his hand out. Cas looked at it hesitantly. "My brother used to have nightmares. I held him until he could fall asleep again. Can I...?"

The ache in Cas's chest grew more insistent and Cas drew in a shaky breath, reaching out to take Dean's hand. With Cas's permission, Dean scooted closer and wrapped his arms around Cas, holding the boy to his chest. He started singing softly, something his mother used to sing to him. He didn't remember the words, but the melody still played through his head clear as if his mother was singing it herself.

Cas felt himself relaxing in Dean's hold, his breathing slowly evening out. Dean smiled softly and rubbed his back. He stayed there until he was sure Cas was sound asleep, then he gently laid the boy back down on his pillow. "Goodnight, Cas," he whispered, covering him with the blanket before crawling back into his own bed.

Cas hadn't slept so peacefully in years.

Cas had to leave the house before Dean had the chance to get out of bed just to keep himself from giving in and talking to Dean. If he was being honest with himself, he knew it was only a matter of time before he couldn't keep up the act anymore, and last night had only made him more certain of that. There was something about the way Dean held him and comforted him that made Cas want to stay in his embrace for the rest of eternity. And maybe Dean would agree to hold him again if only Cas could let himself accept it…

Cas's mind wandered without his permission, remembering over and over the few moments when Dean held him close and he didn't even care what his dad said because Dean's embrace just felt right. Cas was far too tired to keep the thoughts at bay, and he knew it was a bad idea but he let the thoughts come and fill his mind with Dean.

He was still lost in thought by the time he got to his first class. The teacher was the only one in the room but she didn't mind Cas taking his seat early. He used to do it all the time when he didn't want to be at home. He'd known Miss Larsen since he had her for math in 8th grade, and she was one of the few people who knew about his situation at home.

Cas took his seat in the front of the room and pulled out his notebook, a few pens, and a pencil. Still allowing his thoughts to run free, he began sketching in the back of his notebook.

"What's that, Cassie?"

He startled when Charlie sat down next to him. He looked up and saw her eyes widen a little in realization as she looked at his notebook. Cas was a very detailed artist and there was no mistaking those eyes.

"You're drawing Dean," she said softly, and Cas quickly closed the notebook. "Cassie, honey, why won't you just talk to him?"

"I want to…" Cas admitted, not meeting her eyes. "Last night, he… I had a nightmare and… He hugged me and sang to me until I fell asleep."

"Awww," Charlie cooed, punching his shoulder lightly. "I knew he liked you."

Cas choked out a laugh. "Are you serious? He doesn't like me, he likes Robin."

Charlie shrugged. "He's just a flirt. But he's different with you, I can tell."

"It isn't like that," Cas shook his head.

"Of course it is." Charlie rolled her eyes and pushed his chin up to make him look at her. "Cas, what's going on? This is about more than your dad."

Cas sighed. She was right, of course she was. But if it wasn't about his dad, Cas didn't really know what it was about. Dean was just… different.

"You don't have to tell me," Charlie said after a moment. "But I think you owe it to yourself to figure out the real reason it's so hard for you to talk to Dean. It's not really fair to him, either."

Cas nodded. "I know."

He went quiet, and Charlie gave him his space as he continued sketching. Cas wanted to take her advice, to let Dean in and see if he felt the same way Cas did. Sometimes he thought he did, but he felt crazy for even thinking it.

Besides, Cas didn't know the first thing about being in love. The whole idea was terrifying, especially with Dean. And Charlie was right, it wasn't because of his dad or religion or guilt or anything like that. Cas had never felt like this about anyone before, and something about Dean made him feel like he could lose him at any second. And if he could lose him, then it was far too risky to love him. It didn't even matter if Dean had any kind of feelings for him, it was just too big a risk. Cas wasn't ready to take that on.

What he couldn't admit was that his feelings for Dean were already out of his control. He was already terrified to lose him… so why did he keep pushing Dean away?

Dean had honestly hoped that last night would've changed things, but when he woke up and Cas was already gone he knew it hadn't. He was still glad he was able to help Cas when he was upset, though, even if Cas was still avoiding him.

He wondered if this was how normal teenagers felt. He didn't think this was normal. Benny was always staring at cheerleaders, and Dean wondered if that's what he was supposed to be doing too. He just wanted to be a normal teenage boy, dammit.

He was really trying. He was going to school, doing his homework, flirting with a pretty girl who he was pretty sure was flirting back. How much more normal could he get? Then again, Dean didn't really know the first thing about normal. His only idea of normal was vengeful spirits and werewolves and crappy motel rooms.

Dean walked to school by himself, not really in the mood for being social. He did brighten a little when he met up with Robin at the front doors.

"Morning, Dean," she said with a smile. "Walk ya to class?"

"Sure thing," Dean told her, smiling back. "There are definitely worse ways to spend my morning than walking to class with a pretty lady like yourself."

Robin rolled her eyes, her cheeks flushing. "Flattered," she shot back. "But don't think too much of it."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Dean offered a charming smile and Robin laughed and shook her head.

They walked into class and Dean faltered in his steps as soon as he saw Cas. He tried to play it off and continue to his seat but he knew Cas had seen him. He saw Cas stare at him the second he walked in the door. Dean wished he could figure out what the hell he was thinking when he stared at him like that.

Cas didn't look at him at all for the rest of class, just scribbling in his notebook. Dean couldn't help but wonder what he was doing. He certainly wasn't taking notes. He seemed distracted.

Dean was distracted, too. Several times he considered passing Cas a note, but he felt silly even thinking about it. Besides, he didn't really want Cas's friends to read what he had to say.

He tried to focus on class. He was never great at math but he honestly wasn't sure if this trigonometry stuff was actually math. There were way too many letters.

He glanced down when he heard a light clattering on the floor. He saw a pencil rolling towards him and he glanced back to see Robin smiling at him. He smiled too at the throwback to the first day of class, reaching down to pick up her pencil.

"I think you dropped this," he whispered. Robin bit her lip and took the pencil from him, trading it for a folded up piece of paper. Dean looked at and then looked at her like 'seriously?'

Robin rolled her eyes and gestured for him to open it. He did.

Want some company at lunch? One can only take so much of those three bozos you've been sitting with.

Dean bit back a laugh and wrote his response underneath Robin's neat scrawl, handing it back to her.

Dear god yes.

Robin giggled and Dean looked at her with a smile. He watched the way she tucked her hair behind her ears. It was kind of adorable.

Almost as adorable as way Cas's forehead scrunched up in chem lab when he was focusing really hard on something…

Dean shook his head, pulling his focus back to Robin. Cas didn't want him around. Robin did. It was that simple.

When lunchtime came around, Dean met up with Robin outside the cafeteria.

"'Bout time you had lunch with me after all that flirting," she teased, winking and nudging his shoulder with hers.

"I would've asked sooner if I thought you'd say yes," Dean said honestly as they grabbed their trays of food.

"Before today, I probably wouldn't have," Robin admitted with a shrug.

"Why's that?" Dean asked.

Robin laughed shyly and pushed her hair back. "Well, I'm sure you've noticed or the boys told you, but I've kinda had this crush on Cas since like forever."

"I might've heard that somewhere," Dean nodded, looking away and huffing out half of a laugh. "So what made you change your mind about me?"

Robin bit her lip and didn't say anything for a while. Then, "Here, I wanna show you something."

Dean's face twisted up in confusion but he followed her, out of the cafeteria, down the hall, and outside. She led him to an old metal bench, tucked away underneath the bleachers at the football stadium. "What's this?"

"Just someplace I like to go to eat in peace," Robin said, smiling tentatively. Dean could tell this wasn't somewhere she took just anyone for lunch. "Dean, I… To tell you the truth, I do like you. I have since you first came to Sonny's. And Cas… well, that's never gonna happen. For a lot of reasons, but it's complicated."

"Yeah, that seems to be his deal," Dean said, frowning. "Complicated." He paused, processing what she'd said and smiling. "So… You said you… well, I mean, I like you too."

Robin's smile stretched wider across her face, but it soon fell as she spoke again. "So, you and Cas, that's not…?" she asked, almost wishing she hadn't when Dean's smile fell too.

"That's… Well, honestly I don't really know. I mean I thought we were friends or something but he keeps getting all weird around me and now he's not talking to me." Dean looked at Robin and he felt guilt wash over him, though he wasn't totally sure why. Her expression looked sad and understanding, though Dean didn't really know what she was understanding.

Robin thought she had to be the unluckiest girl on earth. The only two guys she had ever wanted to have some sort of romantic relationship with, and they had the hots for each other. She could see it in Dean's eyes when he talked about Cas. He was heartbroken that Cas was shutting him out, and he clearly had some kind of feelings for him. And she knew Cas liked Dean too, even if he had his reasons for keeping his distance.

Still, she reminded herself, Dean was here, talking to her, flirting with her, smiling at her. And Cas was pushing him away, hell he was pushing her away too. Maybe they could find something in each other in all this mess.

"It's complicated," Robin finally said, reaching out to touch Dean's hand and then pulling back. Dean glanced down at the movement and inched his hand closer to her where it sat between them on the bench. She bit her lip and placed her hand over Dean's. "Cas, he… well it's a mess. It's not really my place to tell."

"Yeah," Dean nodded. "I get it." And Dean thought that was that, but Robin continued, speaking carefully.

"But he's been through a lot," she told him. "Sometimes he forgets that not everyone sees the worst in him and he pushes people away. He forgets that we're not all judgmental jerks."

"He doesn't seem to be pushing those two away," Dean said, gesturing in the general direction of the cafeteria. Robin knew who he meant.

"Charlie and Balthazar… they're different," Robin sighed. "Balthazar and Cas, they've known each other since they were basically babies. And Charlie came into it a little later but they're inseparable, always have been. Nothing comes between them that I've ever seen." She paused, and Dean could tell she longed to have that sort of bond with Cas too. She wanted more than that, but still. "But I don't think it's anything you did wrong, necessarily," she assured Dean, rubbing her thumb over his wrist. "It's just Cas."

Honestly that did make Dean feel a little better, but not much. In that moment, though, he decided he was done talking about Cas. If there was no hope anyways, he wanted to focus on what he could see. And that was Robin, right here in front of him.

"Well, hey, look," Dean said, turning his hand to wrap his fingers around Robin's. "You've been nothing but friendly to me since I got here, so that's something. I must have done something right to deserve that."

Robin smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. Adorable. "You could say that," she laughed. "You're persistent, I'll give you that."

"Well it's a two way street we've got goin' here," Dean laughed softly. "The flirting and all… Don't tell me I'm just seein' things that ain't there."

"You're not," she whispered, catching her bottom lip between her teeth and squeezing his hand. She smiled at him and Dean glanced down at her lips. God it was hard to resist. "Well?"

"Huh?" Dean said intelligently, gaping at her for a moment. "What'd I do?"

Robin giggled. "Well, I was sort of hoping you would kiss me sometime before next year, Romeo."

Dean's face flushed and he smiled nervously. "Right," he breathed out. "'Course. I can do that." He may have played the cocky, confident, experienced playboy, but truthfully he wasn't really sure what he was doing when it came to the real deal.

Dean leaned forward, moving his hand to her shoulder and holding it so gently he was barely making contact. He saw Robin close her eyes, waiting, and he swallowed hard and went for it. He pressed his lips to hers and inhaled through his nose. Damn, it felt like flying. She tasted like cinnamon and smelled like apples.

Before he could lose his mind, Dean slowly pulled away, not opening his eyes for a few seconds. He felt Robin's breath against his lips and he blinked his eyes open, watching as she did the same.

"That was… nice," he said with a breath laugh. Dammit, Dean. Nice? "I mean, um…"

She smiled at him. "Yeah. It was."

They both laughed softly, relieved to have the tension broken.

They didn't talk much through the rest of lunch, eating their food and sneaking glances at each other. For the first time since Dean had arrived at Sonny's, he wasn't hyper focused on Cas. He felt normal and actually something resembling happy for the first time in as long as he could remember. He was grateful to Robin for that.

Though, despite how fantastic Robin was at distracting him from his troubles, deep down he knew that's all it was. A distraction. It wasn't that he didn't like Robin, but it was just another one of his silly crushes. He'd get over it and then he'd be alone again. But Cas…

Cas was different, somehow. Dean didn't understand why, but he couldn't deny it was true. Dean wished it wasn't, but he couldn't escape it. He felt drawn to Cas in a way he'd never experienced before. It was terrifying and exhilarating and all brand new. He really didn't know what to make of it. It wasn't like he was in love with Cas or anything, he just adored the way he smiled, and the way he talked, and the way his hair never seemed to go in the direction he meant it to. So what if he wanted to pull Cas close and hold him and kiss him and keep him safe until he breathed his last breath? It didn't mean he liked him like that. He liked girls, and he couldn't just suddenly like guys. That didn't make any sense.

Still, he knew Cas was special. And he knew that it was extremely important that he needed to get Cas to talk to him. And with wrestling try-outs coming up, he knew exactly how he was going to do that.