AN:
Thank you all for already joining me by reviewing, following and favouriting the story. Enjoy!
Chapter 2
Hello sweetheart,
sand, sand, sand. It gets in everywhere, literally. Even where the sun don't shine, if you get my drift. I remember Mac complaining about how the sand got into his SAK and making it much more difficult to get the tools out. I'll never forget seeing him use it for the first time. It looked like a kid was playing mechanic. He was so incredibly young, when we met up over here. Not even old enoug to legally buy a beer, but old enough to get killed for his country. This was all kinds of wrong. It still is. There aren't as many greenhorns arriving as the Army has reduced the troups, but there are a few fresh faces, that don't need a razor, every week. I've received your care package. Tell Bozer thanks for the cookies. The other guys wondered how such an ugly guy like me could have such a beautiful daughter. Well, to be honest I didn't correct them, when they assumed that I'm your dad. I wish I was, but if I was, you probably wouldn't have turned out that well and pretty.
Love
Jack
„God Jack, why did you have to go back there? I should have talked you out of it." Riley sighed and grabbed a pencil.
Dear Jack,
not much happening here in LA. I'm not seeing much action anymore and I have a feeling you are responsible for this. Don't get me wrong, I still love my job here, but since you and Mac are gone it's not the same anymore. Missions are accomplished, but not always with the best results. Team improvise has left a huge gap, no matter how Oversight tries to deny it. Bozer seems happy to spend most of the time in the lab. He told me he doesn't like being out in the field as much as he used to. He has trust issues and being without a GI Jack makes him feel insecure and it shows. Don't tell anybody, but I miss having pizza and playing skeeball with you. Keep your head down big guy. I love you.
Ri
Mac was tinkering with the obstinate engine of an old truck. The sweat ran down his back and he was reminded of Afghanistan. The heat here in Nigeria was similar to the war zone. Only that here you didn't have to diffuse a bomb in the middle of the day. Life was slower here. A completely new rythm. It took him a few weeks to get used to it, but now he enjoyed dozing in the shadows and working in the early morning hours or later in the day, when the worst of the heat was gone.
This new lifestyle gave him a lot of time to think. Sometimes too much time. He went over every single decision in his life. Dissecting them like an insect, examining them from every angle to find out where his father had pulled the strings. Did he arrange for Mac to be accepted at MIT? That thought sickened him. What else had James orchestrated? The blond already knew, that his father had choosen Jack to be his overwatch. It was a immense relief, to know that signing up for another tour had been Jacks decision alone. If it hadn't been Mac would have to question their friendship and that would be something the blond couldn't bear.
Dear Riley,
how things are going back home? I hope Matty doesn't push you too hard. Any news on Mac? I can't stop thinking about him. You know it's a good thing he's gone. No, don't get me wrong. It's just that he's finally free and he needs it. He's free of me tailing him all the time and suffocating him with my overprotectiveness. He's matured so much, he doesn't need me anymore, but I was too blind to see it. I'm so proud of the man he's turned into. This is the first time in his life, that he's making his own decisions without James steering him in one direction or me nudging him in the other. Mac's so eager to make the people around him happy, he always forgets about himself. I hope he's doing things now, that make him happy. He's deserved it for so long, but what did he get? Being left by all the important people in his life, over and over again. And then, working for an organization that sent him nonstop all over the world, demanding more from him than one single man is able to provide. The Phoenix sucked him dry. You know how some people say they know the airports all over the world. Well, Mac knows at least one hospital in every country he was on a mission and that's all kinds of wrong. Anyway I hope he found some peace. Let me know when you got any news on him.
Love
Jack
Riley knew that Jack was right, at least in parts. The Phoenix had used Macs skills often without giving a second thought what price the blond had to pay. But on the other side Mac had loved his job. Helping people, preventing bad things from happening and coming up with unusual solutions. It was difficult for Riley to assess if Jack had really come to terms with Macs leaving or if he tried to put up a brave face for her sake. She clearly remembered how she found Jack the day after Mac left. Pale and hungover with red rimmed eyes from crying. His best friend going away without saying goodbye had added another scar to the Deltas marred soul. It made Riley angry when she saw how sad Jack had been.
It had become a daily routine for the hacker to check all the reports from the area where Jack was stationed. The situation in Afghanistan was very unstable and unpredictable. The Taliban didn't seem to follow a pattern. Attacks in random areas, a lot of movement and rumors of foreign countries providing them with up-to-date weaponary had turned the whole area into a power keg. A whole week of truce could be followed by several days with fights around the clock. Riley was terrified that she would lose Jack. With a sigh she pulled up a satellite image of the village, Mac had settled into. The familiar dot of Macs phone confirmed that the blond was still there. She could spot an new contraption, that hadn't been there two days before, another indication of Macs presence. It was getting harder to suppress the urge to contact him, but Riley had promised Jack not to bother the blond. It made her sad and angry at the same time, that Mac obviously had lost all interest in the people he had called family for so long. When had he stopped caring or did he even care in the first place? Was it all a lie, the talk about trust and friendship? Riley knew she was unfair thinking that of Mac, but she couldn't help herself. Seeing Jack so devastated by the loss of his best friend lasted heavier on her than her own disappointment in Mac. And she realized she blamed the blond for Jack signing up for another tour.
Months went by and Mac became restless. There was still a lot to improve in the village and he had started to teach the kids all kinds of science and engineering stuff. The work was satisfying and rewarding, but still something was missing. Well, someone. Mac picked up his phone for probably the thousandth time, only to throw it back on the table a moment later. When had it become so difficult to talk to Jack? The Delta had stopped sending him messages after a month. Mac was still puzzled about the last voice mail he got, it had sounded like a goodbye and it obviously was, as this was the last message he received from his former partner. God, Mac missed him like crazy. It was the hardest decision in his life to walk out of the war room and never look back. He fled the country without a word to anybody, because he wasn't sure if he could go through with it, when he would have talked to Jack. The Delta had the ability to simplify the most complex emotions and make him see reason. But Mac didn't want to see reason, he just wanted to run and hide. The words „Be reasonable Angus, analyze the problem" had been implanted in his mind by his dad at a young age. They were still echoing in his head. Mac felt like a child throwing a temper tantrum and then running away from his problems. But at least it was his decision and his only. He had pushed everyone away. There was a need to strip himself bare of any connection to his life and that meant cutting the ties with Jack and his friends as well. Mac needed a fresh start, he had to reset his life. Open a new book where the pages were blank to be filled with new … what? … experiences, memories, encounters and friends? The question was, did he want to overwrite his old life, delete it, replace his friends? No! His mind screamed suddenly and he missed Jack more than ever. God, what had he done?
Hey honey,
today's been a shitty day. We were patrolling a village, where we lost one of our guys the last time I was there with Mac on out last tour. It was … tough … brought back a lot of bad memories, almost sent me in a full blown panic attack. Ferrari helped me out, punched me in the face to snap me back to the present. God, I miss Mac so badly, he made it all more bearable, but I wouldn't want him to be here in that hell. He's safe and he's happy, that's good. As hard as it is to fight in this endless war, knowing that you're waiting for me back home makes it easier to get up every day and carry on. I hope the Phoenix is treating you well.
Miss you like crazy
Love
Jack
Rileys heart ached for her fatherly friend. She was grateful once more for receiving handwritten letters, because it told her so much more than an email would do. On the other hand she almost longed not to know, that Jack had been still suffering emotionally when he had written the words. His hand had been unsteady, his thoughts swirling as a lot of words had been crossed out and sentences rephrased. It almost looked like a redacted file and was proof of Jacks inner turmoil. It was getting more and more difficult to answer his letters. Rileys life had become boring without her friends, she went out with Bozer from time to time, but they always ended up drowning in memories which didn't do her mood any favours. Most of her letters contained just words of encouragement and reassurances that she was fine and Jack shouldn't worry about her. So far Jack had kept to his timetable to send her a letter every week. Riley started to live for those letters, she longed for them like an addict craved the next fix. It was a sickening mix of joy and fear that was cursing through her veins, when she ripped open the envelopes.
Hi honey,
I don't have time to write a lot. Things are a bit hectic here. We're literally playing whack a mole with the enemy on a daily basis. Need to stay focused and alert. At least I don't have too much time to think, that's a relief.
Love
Jack
The words were brought to the paper in a haste, some of them smeared in a hurry and Riley didn't know what to think. She spent the next hours pouring over reports from the war zone. Her security clearance was high enough to have insight of the happenings. It was both a blessing and a curse.
Mac had made a step forward. He was writing messages to Jack every day. Well to be honest, he wrote them, but he didn't send them and deleted them instead. He knew he was a coward, but he couldn't jump over his shadow yet. Was it shame that held him back? Partly, but mostly a good portion of stubbornness mixed with a lot of insecurity. Maybe Jack was glad that he was gone. It must be a relief not to have to put up with the blonds nerdy side anymore. Why didn't the Delta show up here? The Texan hadn't cared a lot about Mac needing space in the past, because you just get lost in that big brain a yours hoss. God, how he wished to hear that familiar Texas drawl again. Jack had probably a new partner by now and had forgotten about the skinny bomb nerd with the silly hamburger name.
Hey baby,
I hope you take good care of yourself. Don't spend all night going over the war zone reports. And stop rolling your eyes at me when I'm not even there. Ha, got you. It's lonely here. Do you know what I miss the most? No, not my Bruce Willis collection. Hugs. All kinds of hugs. The I-can't-believe-it-worked-and-we're-still-alive-hugs or the God-you-scared-me-to-death-are-you-alright-hugs or the holy-shit-that-was-awesome-hugs, but most of all I miss the I-love-you-and-I-can't-bear-to-lose-you-hugs. The nights are so cold here, but even in the scorching heat of the day I feel cold inside. A cold only a hug could chase away.
Hug you baby
Love
Jack
Riley couldn't stop her own tears as she realized that Jack had been crying, when he wrote this. Several words were blurry where a tear drop had hit the paper. The hacker pulled on Jacks hoodie and hugged a cushion to her chest wishing it were a certain Texan with salt and pepper hair.
Please review and let me know if you got your tissues out already!