Sonny's Home For Boys

by SpiritedQuill

He wasn't staying. There was no way he could stay, even if Sonny treated him like one of his own. He had to get back to Sammy. His dad would come back and he'd go back to doing what he did best: hunting. Still... the mysterious blue-eyed boy named Castiel made it really hard to not want to stick around and never go anywhere else again.

7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

On Sunday, Sonny took the boys to help Ruth at the church, and Cas went over to Balthazar's house. He was truly grateful to Sonny for not making him go to the church where his dad's service was held.

"Cassie!" Balthazar exclaimed happily when he opened the front door for his friend. He loved Sundays. It always meant extra time with Cas. Just the two of them, more often than not. Charlie's sister, despite being a pretty lenient guardian for the most part, usually ended up dragging Charlie to church with her.

"Hey, Bal," Cas said with an easy grin. "Your uncle not home?"

Balthazar made a face of disgust and shook his head. "God knows where that man goes. Goddamn mystery he ever got custody."

Cas's smile turned sympathetic. "Two more years."

Balthazar nodded. After a moment he shook his head to clear his head and smiled at Cas. "So, movie night or board games?"

As Cas followed Balthazar into the living room, they heard a knock on the door and turned around. "Are you expecting someone?" Cas asked, confused. Balthazar shook his head.

"Pick a game and I'll see who it is," he said, heading back down the hall. When he opened the door his jaw dropped in shock. "I… You… Long time no see," he finally said, stepping aside and welcoming the guest in.

"I… I told dad I was sick. I wanted to see Cas."

Balthazar nodded and led him into the living room. "Cassie, look who stopped by."

Cas looked up and felt the air leave his lungs when he saw who stood beside Balthazar.

"Gabe?" he choked out, slowly standing up and then practically running across the room to grab the older boy in a tight hug. Gabriel chuckled softly and wrapped his arms around his brother.

"Hey, Cassie," he said with a small smile, hugging Cas tightly. "Miss me?"

"Of course," Cas mumbled into Gabriel's shirt. After a long few moments, he pulled back and grinned up at his big brother. Gabriel returned the smile and patted his shoulder.

"So, what are you crazy kids up to?" he asked, looking hesitantly between the two of them.

"We were just about to play some board games," Cas told him. His smile hadn't left his face. He hadn't seen his brother in almost 6 months, and now he was here out of the blue and Cas couldn't believe how much he'd missed him. "Wanna join us?"

"I… I'd love to," Gabriel said hesitantly. He knew he could get in a world of trouble for being here, but he missed his brother. And besides, his dad would never even find out. At least, he hoped he wouldn't.

"How's Anna?" Balthazar asked as he pulled Sorry! out of the cabinet.

Gabriel pursed his lips. "She's… doing better, I guess. She misses you. But all things considered I think she's doing alright."

"That's good," Cas said, plopping down on the couch and urging Gabriel to sit next to him. "So how long can you stay?"

"Maybe an hour," Gabriel told him, smiling and taking a seat beside his brother. "Dad's at the church until eleven." He paused, then looked at Cas excitedly. "So I heard you made the wrestling team again this year. I'm proud of you, Cas."

Cas beamed. Gabe had always made it a point to tell him how proud he was. Cas loved him for that. "Yeah, first meet next week," he said. "You should come see me… if you can."

Gabe nodded. "Yeah, of course, Cassie. Wouldn't miss it." After another pause, he smirked and added, "Can't pass up a perfect opportunity to tease my kid brother for wearing a onesie."

Cas rolled his eyes and shoved Gabe's shoulder. "It's a uniform."

"Whatever you say," the older boy laughed, ruffling Cas's hair and grinning at the annoyed whine he let out.

The three of them made it through two games of Sorry! before Gabe had to call it.

Cas frowned. "I wish you didn't have to go."

"I know," Gabe said, smiling sadly. "Me too. But you know dad'll have my head if he finds out I was here."

Cas nodded. He knew all too well. He wouldn't put his brother through that. Not when this whole thing was Cas's fault to begin with.

"I'll see you around, little brother," Gabe told him, wrapping his brother in a tight hug before heading out the door.

Balthazar hated the crushed look on Cas's face. "Hey," he said softly, moving to sit by Cas on the couch. He grabbed his shoulder and squeezed lightly. "At least he's trying."

Cas shrugged. "Yeah… I know he is. But he wouldn't have to try so hard if I wasn't such a screw up."

"Hey, cut that out," Balthazar said fiercely, finally getting Cas to look at him. "It's not your fault. The only one to blame is your dick of a father."

Cas shrugged again. Balthazar sighed and rubbed his back, leaning over and kissing the side of his head before pulling him into a hug. Cas relaxed slightly in his hold and leaned into his chest. "If he was disappointed in me before… I don't even want to think about what he'd say now."

"What do you mean?" Balthazar asked, confused. A dozen thoughts raced through his skull, half of them leaving him painfully hopeful and the other half just painful.

"I think Dean almost kissed me yesterday," Cas said quietly. "And I wanted him to."

Balthazar's stomach twisted with jealousy, then anger at Dean, then pure rage towards Zachariah. As it usually did, his hatred for Cas's father won out over the rest. "Screw what your dad thinks," he said, trying to keep his tone from shaking out of control. "If… if you wanted to kiss Dean, or anyone for that matter, it's none of his goddamn business."

Cas bit his lip and snuggled further into Balthazar's chest. "I guess not. But… he pulled away. I… I really thought he was going to, but…" Cas shook his head, trailing off.

Balthazar held him close. He had always been protective of Cas, but he did not trust Dean, at all. He didn't see this ending any other way except Cas hurting and heartbroken, and Dean gone without a thought.

But he didn't know how to say any of this to Cas. He thought it would only hurt him more, or push him away. Cas clearly liked Dean, and Balthazar couldn't really fault him for that. You don't choose who you fall in love with, it just kinda… happens. Balthazar knew that better than anyone.

Still, he couldn't very well sit back and let this douchebag player named Dean Winchester lead Cas on only to leave him behind when he got bored. He had to do something.

The next day, school was a little too hectic for Balthazar to find the opportunity, and the same went for Tuesday and Wednesday. But come Thursday, after school and right before wrestling practice, Balthazar found Dean outside the gym, without Cas. Making sure no one else was around, Balthazar caught Dean by the shoulder and shoved him against the wall. He saw something dangerous flash in Dean's eyes and he crossed his arm over the boy's chest.

"Dude, what the hell?" Dean grunted. He was fighting every instinct he had not to go for his knife and have the taller boy on the ground in under two seconds. But that would definitely not go over well. "Get the hell off me," he warned, staring Balthazar down. The blond didn't back off, just shoved him harder against the wall.

"Stop fucking around with Cas," Balthazar almost growled, getting in Dean's face. "He's been through enough, he doesn't need your games."

Dean's face twisted up in confusion and he shoved Balthazar away easily. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Cut the crap, Winchester," he snapped, lunging at Dean again. Dean let himself be pinned to the wall. It wasn't like Balthazar could hurt him anyways. "You think I don't notice the way you flirt with him and then turn around and flirt with Robin or the next pretty face you see? I know your type, you arrogant, playboy, son of a bitch."

Dean's expression hardened, glaring at Balthazar. "Don't you talk about my mother like that," he said lowly, a cocky smirk tugging at his lips.

"You think this is funny?" Balthazar growled, standing over him by about half a foot.

"Actually, kinda, yeah," Dean said, flat out smirking. "Funny that you think you scare me," he continued, then his expression turned serious. "But you can buzz off, 'cuz I'm not playing games or whatever. I care about Cas. You can believe me or not, I really don't care. But it's the truth."

Balthazar searched his eyes, trying to find any indication of whether he was telling the truth or not. "Why should I believe you?"

"That's not my problem," Dean said coolly. "I don't really give a damn if you do or not. I only really care what Cas thinks, that's it. Long as he'll have me, I'm along for the ride."

Dean even surprised himself with his honesty. He knew he cared for Cas, but this was a level of devotion he'd only ever felt for a few people in his life. And never for anyone that wasn't blood.

He saw Balthazar's resolve shake and after a moment the taller boy released him and stepped back. "I must be crazy or stupid, but I believe you," Balthazar said reluctantly. "But I swear to god, if you hurt Cas-"

"Wouldn't dream of it, chuckles," Dean said, slapping on a cheeky, tight-lipped smile and straightening his jacket.

They both stood there for a few moments in silence, and Balthazar actually found himself feeling guilty. Before he could lose the courage, he said, "So Dean, uh… Charlie and Cas and I are going to this carnival thing this weekend. If you, um… You can come along if you want."

Dean eyed him hesitantly. "You're not gonna try to kill me again, are ya?"

Balthazar laughed and shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "No. No, you're good. Call it a peace offering."

A beat of trepidation, then Dean shrugged. "Sure, what the hell? Who doesn't love a carnival?" He had to chuckle to himself at that. Carnivals had been the focus of at least three of his dad's hunts that he knew of. But hey, what could possibly go wrong?

…

Other than wrestling practice, Dean doesn't see much of Cas before Saturday. He'd decided to keep his going to the carnival a surprise. He could already imagine the adorable, shocked smile on Cas's face when he saw him there.

Dean was already on his way there when Charlie and Balthazar came to pick Cas up in Charlie's sister's car. Cas had been slightly disappointed when Dean said he had plans for the night. He'd wanted to invite him to the carnival. But he was excited to spend the day with Balthazar and Charlie in any case.

When they made their way to the ticket booth and Cas saw Dean standing there with that cocky grin of his, Cas couldn't contain his excitement. He ran up and hugged the boy, grinning ear to ear when Dean hugged him back and laughed softly.

"Ahem," Charlie uttered pointedly. "Let's get our tickets before the lines get too long!"

Dean and Cas broke apart and smiled at each other sheepishly. No chick flick moment, Dean had to remind himself. He ignored the voice telling him that showing up at the carnival and waiting for Cas to get there so he could surprise him was like, Chick Flick 101.

They each got a pretty solid wad of tickets and made their way into the heart of the carnival.

"So, what should we do first?" Balthazar asked, trying not to focus on the fact that Dean and Cas were practically attached at the hip.

"Bumper cars!" Charlie gasped, grabbing Balthazar's hand and tugging him to where the bumper cars were. The boys laughed and followed her, getting in line and handing the ride attendant their tickets.

It was all Dean could do to resist grinning like a school boy. He'd never been to a carnival, one that wasn't haunted at least. And he'd certainly never had friends to go with.

"So Dean," Charlie started as they waited their turn. "Cas tells me you like hunting."

Dean resisted the urge to laugh. "Since I was little," he shrugged. "But it's mostly my dad's thing, to tell ya the truth."

"Well what do you like to do for fun?" Charlie asked innocently, and Dean had no earthly idea how to answer that.

Luckily, before he could think of an answer, the ride came to a stop and then it was their turn after a loud buzzer. Saved by the bell, more or less.

"Every man for themselves!" Charlie announced, practically sprinting towards an empty car in the middle of the floor.

While Dean and Cas somehow managed to flirt with bumper cars, Balthazar sulked as a ten-year-old just kept ramming into his car over and over in the corner.

After bumper cars, Cas led the way to the merry-go-round, grabbing Dean's hand excitedly and tugging him along.

"Bal," Charlie said hesitantly, touching his arm as they walked a ways behind Dean and Cas. "Try to have fun, okay? And try to be happy for Cas. You and I both know he hasn't been this happy in a really long time."

Balthazar nodded and sighed. "You're right. It was my stupid idea to invite Dean anyhow. I've just gotta get over it."

And that was that as Balthazar shrugged her hand away and half-jogged to catch up to Dean and Cas.

Dean watched Cas and he couldn't help but grin. Of all the animals that he could've chosen on the merry-go-round, of all the ones that actually belonged on a merry-go-round as far as Dean was concerned, Cas picked a bumble bee. It was way too adorable.

Dean rode behind him on a zebra, smiling and laughing as they went around and around.

After the merry-go-round, Charlie suggested they play some games. There was a game where you had to pop balloons on a wall with darts, and Dean wore a cocky grin as he stepped up. He handed the guy enough tickets to go three rounds (the amount needed to have his pick of any prize) and grabbed the handful of darts the guy gave him.

"Confident, huh?" Cas asked with a laugh, standing beside him.

"Damn right I am," Dean retorted with a smirk, throwing three darts in a row and popping a top row balloon with each one. He grabbed three more darts and popped three more balloons, and then another three after that.

The guy at the booth looked at him in stunned silence and gestured to the wall of prizes. Dean looked over his options and grinned when he saw a stuffed bumble bee as big as a basketball. He pointed to it and the attendant gave him his prize.

"That was pretty impressive," Cas told Dean, watching him with intense curiosity as they walked through the carnival. How the hell did he do that? These games were all rigged, so either Dean was incredibly lucky or he was the most skilled darts player in the world.

Dean shrugged, grinning at Cas. "One of my many talents," he mused, then looked at the bee and back at Cas. He held the stuffed animal out for Cas with a timid smile. "For you," he said.

Cas laughed and took the bee, beaming brighter than the sun when he looked at Dean. "I love it."

At some point they had stopped walking, falling out of the crowd and just staring at each other and smiling. Neither wanted to say a word because that always put an end to the moment and this particular moment was one neither could let go so easily.

Cas hugged his stuffed bee to his chest, which was honestly the only thing keeping them from standing only inches away from each other. Dean inched closer until his chest touched the bee, keeping them just under a foot apart. He couldn't tear his eyes away from Cas's face. His wide blue eyes, the slight wrinkle between his eyebrows, the barely-there part of his pink lips, the subtle hint of stubble shading his jaw. Dean wanted to reach up and touch that perfect face-

"There you guys are!"

At the sound of Charlie's voice, Dean and Cas practically jumped apart, looking over at her and Balthazar as color rose to their cheeks.

"Hey, sorry," Cas said, clearing his throat. "We were just… Um… Dean won me a bee!" he told them excitedly, holding up his prize so they could see.

Charlie laughed and Balthazar forced a smile. "Your favorite," Charlie said. "Have you guys done the fun house yet? It's wacky."

Cas smiled at her. "It's not a carnival without a fun house." Then, turning to Dean, "Wanna take a look?"

Despite Dean's instincts telling him that fun houses were usually hiding places for things that were most definitely not fun, he couldn't really say no when Cas looked at him like that.

"Sure, sounds fun," Dean said.

"First we've gotta ride the ferris wheel, though," Cas gasped, as if he had just remembered. "It's a classic."

Well, that was safe enough, Dean figured. Nothing nasty could possibly be hiding on a ferris wheel.

(He knew that wasn't entirely true, but it was at least unlikely.)

Dean laughed as Cas dragged him along to the ferris wheel, plopping down in a seat next to Cas, with the stuffed bee sitting on the opposite side. Balthazar and Charlie grabbed a seat a few spokes behind them.

"I still don't like this," Balthazar told Charlie, leaning back in the seat and running his fingers through his hair. "I should have never invited him."

"Bal, I know it's hard for you," Charlie sighed. "But tell me honestly, when was the last time you saw Cas this happy? Really, honest-to-god happy?"

Balthazar pursed his lips. Honestly? "I guess… probably not since before his mom got sick." It broke his heart to say it out loud.

"Just let him have this," Charlie pleaded. "He deserves to be happy. Even if it's not with you."

Balthazar sighed. He knew she was right. Of course she was right. He just missed his best friend. It was selfish, he knew that, but a part of him had always hoped that someday Cas would return his feelings. But that was before Dean. Cas wouldn't fully admit it just yet, but Balthazar could see it in his eyes. He loved Dean. He probably didn't even know it, but he loved him. And knew once Cas loved someone like that… Balthazar never stood a chance.

"Wait, are you afraid of heights?" Cas asked Dean, suppressing his amused laughter.

"Shut up," Dean muttered as he tried to calm his breathing. "Just, um… distract me or something."

Cas did the very first thing that came to his mind. He reached across the safety bar and grabbed Dean's hand in his.

Dean felt a tiny, surprised noise catch in his throat and he looked at their hands. His heart was still racing, but it wasn't because of the ferris wheel. He gulped and looked at Cas. When had they scooted so close together? Side by side, touching from their thighs to their shoulders all the way to their entwined fingers. Then, because he wanted to, Dean squeezed Cas's hand tighter, still staring into the boy's crystal blue eyes.

Then (again, simply because he wanted to), Dean brought his free hand up to cup Cas's barely stubbled cheek. He slid his hand around until his thumb rested just below Cas's ear and his fingers disappeared into thick black hair.

"Dean," Cas whispered, his breath ghosting over Dean's nose and lips.

"Yeah, Cas?" Dean responded softly. He had no idea what he was doing, he just knew that he wanted to. He knew that he was doing what made him happy. He was just waiting for confirmation that Cas wanted it too…

"I…" Cas exhaled shakily, staring into Dean's eyes. He didn't know what he was waiting for. Maybe Dean would be okay with a chick flick moment just this once…

No, Cas thought, shutting down every part of him saying just kiss him, and he shook his head and backed away from Dean, turning his head to look down at his feet. He didn't really know why he did it, he just… couldn't. He knew Dean would regret it, and then he'd never speak to him again. Giving into his selfish desires wasn't worth losing Dean.

What he missed when he looked away, though, was a look of utter confusion and disappointment and hurt on Dean's face. Dean had thought that maybe… He flinched away from Cas like he'd been burned. No. It was stupid. Cas was… perfect. And smart, and funny, and beautiful inside and out. And Dean was just broken. It was stupid to think Cas would even consider someone like him. Just plain stupid.

It was for the best, though. Once they crossed that line, there was no going back. It would just be awkward and uncomfortable all the time and the best friendship Dean had ever had would be ruined.

As the ride was coming to an end, Dean tried to break the tension between them. "So, how 'bout that fun house?" he asked with a half smile.

Cas met his eyes gratefully, returning the smile. He nodded and grabbed Dean's hand (that was one boundary he was glad they'd crossed), leading him to the fun house as Charlie and Balthazar found a mini roller coaster to ride.

The fun house wasn't very busy, so it was just Dean and Cas going through. Animatronics and sound effects meant to make them jump were scattered around the place, and Dean barely even flinched. He noticed with some amusement and fond admiration that Cas startled every single time, clutching his stuffed bee tightly. He also noticed, of course he did, that Cas was gripping his hand and refusing to let go the entire time.

Dean stopped when they reached the house of mirrors, examining himself in one particular mirror that made his head look tiny and his hips look 10 times their actual size.

"Do these pants make my butt look big?" he asked Cas with a straight face, and Cas burst out laughing.

"No, not at all-"

Cas stopped short when Dean's hand was ripped from his and the boy was being tackled to the floor by someone Cas didn't recognize. "Dean!" Cas cried, standing frozen in fear.

"Fuck," Dean grunted, pushing back against the man's hands as he held a knife to Dean's throat. "What the- Cas, run, get out of here!"

Cas stumbled back, instinct telling him to listen to Dean but he didn't want to leave him alone. "Dean…"

"Cas, go!"

"I don't give a damn about your little friend, boy," the man snarled at Dean, as the knife just barely broke the skin of his throat. "This is about your daddy."

Dean's stomach dropped and he struggled for a moment before grabbing the knife from the man and shoving him off. He jumped to his feet and into a fighting stance. "Cas!" he yelled. Cas still couldn't make his legs move.

"I've been looking for dear old dad," the man said, staring Dean down. "But I can make him come right to me now that I found you."

Dean scoffed. "Think again, you ugly son of a bitch," he sneered. "The old man left me here. No way is he walking into a trap just to come for me."

The man hummed, thoughtful, then his eyes darkened angrily. "Then I guess I'll settle for skinning his little mini-me."

The man lunged at him and Dean couldn't move out of the way fast enough. He was knocked to the ground, and he struggled against the man for almost a minute before the knife sunk into the old man's gut. He went limp above Dean and Dean pushed the man off of him, laying there in shock for he didn't know how long.

"Dean…"

He was startled out of his state of shock when he heard Cas's voice. He saw Cas standing about 10 feet away, half hidden behind a wall. "Cas, I…"

"Are you okay?" Cas asked shakily, taking a few steps towards Dean, much to Dean's surprise.

"Y-Yeah, I think so," Dean told him, rising to his feet with a wince. He reached up to touch his neck and his fingers came away bloody.

"No, you're not," Cas insisted, his voice shaking horribly as he reached for Dean and then pulled back. "Dean, we… we have to go. Now."

Dean realized that Cas was staring at his shirt, which was covered in blood. Shit.

Suddenly Cas was removing his top layer so he was wearing only his undershirt. "Take that off… throw it away and put this on. We have to go."

Dean couldn't speak. He wasn't used to being the speechless one in these scenarios, but the very fact that Cas wasn't freaking out was really freaking Dean out. He did as Cas said, removing his flannel and his t-shirt and throwing them in the nearest trash bin. He took the shirt Cas offered him and slipped it over his head.

"We have to go," Cas said again, whispering it to himself a few times after that. Okay, so maybe Cas was freaking out, Dean realized.

"Hey," Dean said softly, grabbing him by the shoulders and meeting his eyes. He was grateful when Cas didn't flinch away. "It's gonna be alright."

Cas didn't move or say a word, just stared at Dean. Dean couldn't tell if the fear in his eyes was just fear of what was happening or if it was fear of Dean. He hoped it wasn't the latter, though he wouldn't blame him.

Without a word, Dean led Cas out of the fun house. He silently noted that he was totally right and that fun houses are never a good idea, but it wasn't the time.

They didn't even try to find Charlie and Balthazar, just making a line for the exit. Cas held his stuffed bee against his chest with one hand and latched onto Dean's hand with the other. Neither of them said a word until they got to Sonny's. Thankfully, Sonny and the other boys were too busy with dinner to notice Dean and Cas come in.

Dean led Cas into the bathroom and closed the door behind them, and the floodgates opened.

"Dean, what the hell was that?" Cas demanded frantically, his hands and voice shaking violently. "You killed that guy, and… and he… he said… Dean, what the hell?"

Dean grabbed his shoulders and tried to calm him. "Cas, breathe," he said gently. "You're hyperventilating."

Cas did his best to follow Dean's lead and match his breathing. After a few minutes, he had calmed down just a little.

Dean didn't know how to explain this. He had no fucking clue.

"Cas, I…" he started. He didn't want to lie… but what choice did he have? "I… I have never seen that man before in my life," he said, truthfully. "I don't know why he attacked me." Also the truth. Mostly. It clearly had something to do with his dad but how the hell would he know?

"But he said… your dad…" Tears started down Cas's cheeks and Dean's heart clenched.

"My dad is an obsessed bastard," Dean said gruffly, shaking his head. "Not a lot of people like him. A lot more people wanna beat his head in."

"But I… How are you even alive?"

"Cas, I don't know," Dean said, desperately. "I don't know."

Cas collapsed against his chest, shaking and crying quietly. He didn't know what to make of any of this. Dean's past made less and less sense the more Cas learned. The only thing he could even begin to wrap his head around was that this was just a psychotic, random attack. Nothing more. And Dean was lucky to be alive. And Cas was glad that he was.

Sniffling, Cas pulled away after a few minutes. "Your neck," he gasped softly. "I… you're bleeding everywhere. Let me help."

Dean obliged, because Cas seemed to calm down as he focused his energy on taking care of Dean. Cas grabbed the first aid kit and grabbed what he needed. The cut wasn't too deep, so he wouldn't need stitches, but he did need to stop the bleeding.

He got Dean wrapped up with some gauze and medical tape, then they both changed into fresh shirts. They sat side-by-side on Cas's bed, Dean's arm wrapped around Cas's shoulders. Cas snuggled in against his chest and sighed shakily.

"Thank god you're alive, Dean," he said quietly. "I don't know what I…" he trailed off, shaking his head.

Dean nodded, nuzzling his face into Cas's tousled hair. "It's okay. I'm okay."

Cas nodded weakly and closed his eyes, gripping Dean's shirt with trembling fingers. Dean held him like that until Cas's breaths evened out and his shoulders slumped. When he was finally asleep, Dean went to lay him down but Cas's fingers still clung to his shirt. He wasn't letting go. Dean sighed, smiling and shaking his head. He carefully settled in beside Cas, wrapping his arms around him and holding the boy to his chest. His back would hurt and his arms would be numb in the morning, but at that moment, he didn't really care. All that mattered was that Cas was okay.

Dean couldn't even put into words how unbelievably relieved he was that Cas was okay.

…

The next morning, Sonny asked questions about what had happened to Dean, why he'd found a blood shirt in the trash, why he'd heard Cas crying in the bathroom, etc. Dean didn't know what to tell him. He just said he got into a fight with some guy and that was that. Sonny clearly didn't believe him but he told him to stay home and rest while the other boys helped out at the church.

Cas stuck to Dean like glue the whole day, as if he still didn't believe Dean was alive. He didn't even go to Balthazar's house like he usually did on Sunday.

Dean tried to convince him to go outside or play a card game or even go take a shower, but Cas refused to leave his side. So Dean held him as they sat or laid on Cas's bed, rubbing his back and promising him it would be okay, that he was okay, that they were safe.

"Cas?"

Cas hummed in response and Dean continued.

"Are you… I mean, after you saw… Well, I thought…" Dean sighed, frustrated, and just spit it out. "Are you afraid of me?"

Cas met his eyes for the first time in about 3 hours, and Dean held his breath.

"Of course not," Cas said. "I'm not afraid of you, Dean."

"But I…" Dean trailed off, averting his gaze.

"You protected yourself," Cas said quietly. "And me."

Dean nodded but didn't say anything, wrapping his arms tightly around Cas again.

I'll always protect you, Cas, he thought, closing his eyes and hiding his face so Cas couldn't see the tears threatening to fall.

…

The next few days at school, Cas wouldn't talk to Dean much, but they were touching almost every second that they could be. Their first wrestling meet was on Thursday and Dean saw that as the perfect opportunity to try and get back to normal with Cas.

Wednesday after school, Dean and Cas were walking home. Cas had his fingers loosely wrapped around Dean's wrist and Dean wasn't complaining. But he had a mission.

"Cas," he started hesitantly.

"Yes, Dean?"

"So our first wrestling meet is tomorrow," Dean continued, smiling when Cas looked at him. "And, well, I was wondering if you could show me a few things."

Cas's brow knit up in confusion. "I didn't think you needed any help with wrestling, Dean."

Dean laughed softly, shrugging. "Well, I know how to fight and I can hold my own. But the technical stuff still gets me. Coach said I need to work on it."

Cas eyed him, contemplative. Then he smiled. "Sure, I can show you some moves."

When they got back to Sonny's, still wearing their gym clothes, Cas led Dean around to the back yard. He set his bag down and found a smooth patch of grass. Dean followed suit.

"Alright," Cas began. "I'll show you some of my favorite moves. Lie down on your stomach and you'll put me in a headlock. And I'll show you how I get out of it and immediately turn it around into a pin."

Dean grinned. "Sounds like fun."

He did as Cas said, lying on the grass face down. He felt Cas come up behind him, grab his arm and pull it around so he had Cas in a headlock and Dean was propped up on his side. Cas slid his arm underneath Dean and around his waist, and Dean felt warmth spread from the touch. He cleared his throat and tried to focus. He was trying to get things back to normal. He couldn't get distracted, even if Cas was warm and solid and strong behind him...

"Alright, so then from here I just…" Cas trailed off, trying to demonstrate slowly so Dean could see what he was doing. He did something like a somersault, pulling Dean over his back and using the leverage of Dean holding his neck to land him flat on his back. And just like that, Cas had him pinned. His arm was still wrapped around Dean's waist and he looked up at him as Dean removed his arm from Cas's neck. "Did that make sense?"

Dean nodded, swallowing thickly. "Yeah… Uh, one more time maybe?"

Cas nodded, taking a deep breath to calm himself as he got set up again. Dean returned to his original position and Cas wrapped his arm around him. He flipped him over his back, a little closer to full speed this time, and Dean lost his grip on Cas's neck as he did. He landed with an 'oof'' and Cas sat up, offering a hand. "Got it?"

"Yeah I think so," Dean said, a little breathless.

"Alright, I'll show you one more move and then I'll have you try it," Cas continued, trying desperately to stay focused. "So, for this one, just get on your hands and knees."

Dean almost choked. He tried to keep it cool, cracking a joke. "Aren't you gonna buy me dinner first?" he asked as he knelt down on the grass.

Cas made sort of a gasp and a yelp noise all in one, and he covered his mouth, blushing. Dean thought it was adorable, and closer to what felt normal for them. "I, uh…"

"Cas, I'm just messin' with ya," Dean told him, smiling. "What next?"

Cas cleared his throat. "Right. Well, um…" Cas knelt behind Dean, grabbing his arm and pulling it behind his back. From there he flipped Dean around and had him land flat on his stomach, arm still pinned behind his back. Dean could feel his heart pounding in his throat at feeling Cas so close.

Cas felt Dean's breathing pick up and he leaned back a bit, releasing his grip and watching Dean with concern. "Are you alright? Did I hurt you?"

Dean flipped over so he was on his back, and he gasped when he realized how close Cas's face was. "I, uh…"

"Dean?"

Dean stared up at Cas in silence, only the sound of his breathing between them. He felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. He felt warm and heavy and breathless and Cas was leaning in closer.

This time, Dean didn't have the strength to move away. Instead he closed his eyes and placed his hand on Cas's shoulder, taking a steadying breath, and then Cas closed the last bit of distance between them.

Dean actually felt his heart skip when Cas's lips touched his, gentle at first and then more insistent, curious. Dean's hand moved to Cas's hair and he let out a soft, surprised noise when Cas grazed his tongue over Dean's bottom lip.

Cas's hand fell on Dean's waist and the touch was like fireworks under Dean's skin. Cas saw stars as he drew more whines and moans from Dean's throat, moving so he was straddling Dean's hips. Dean gasped and curled his fingers into Cas's thick hair.

He moaned when Cas's fingers dug into his hip, sliding up underneath his t-shirt. Searching for more, Dean brought his other hand up to cup Cas's cheek and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, nipping gently, hesitant.

"Cas," he breathed out, breaking the kiss for a second but not breaking contact. His lips brushed against Cas's as he spoke. "Cas, I…"

Cas shut up by capturing his lips in another deep kiss, lowering his hips until he could feel Dean against him. They both gasped softly, Dean whimpering into Cas's mouth.

Cas broke the kiss to catch his breath, pressing his forehead to Dean's.

"Cas…" Dean exhaled, his chest heaving as he struggled to compose himself. He could feel heat coiling in his gut and he swallowed thickly, opening his eyes to look at Cas. He smiled hesitantly when Cas opened his eyes to look at him, but his smile just as soon fell when he saw Cas's expression shift.

He couldn't read what that expression even was, but it wasn't good. He knew that for sure when Cas practically flinched away from him, scrambling to his feet and backing away.

"I… I…"

"Cas, wait-"

"I'm sorry, I… I have to go."

"Cas!"

Before Dean could stop him, Cas was running in the opposite direction, away from Sonny's and away from Dean.

Sitting up slowly, Dean watched him go, hurt and confused and trying to figure out what the hell just happened.