Authors note: Hi. This was the first piece I had ever written in a while. I wrote it this summer and went back and forth alot for long time thinking if I should publish it or not. I finally decided to and here it is, my take on how Zack's sword ended up in Aerith's church which was shown in a brief ending scene in FFVII Advent Children Complete. I have always been a major fan of the FF series ever since I found it 13 years ago and the FFVII universe and its characters in general since it was my very first FF title. Hope you enjoy :)
FFVII is owned by Square Enix respectably. All rights belong to them. I own nothing.
The wooden worn dilapidated floorboards creaked under his footsteps as the blonde battle hardened warrior slowly trudged forward towards a familiar scene, a place that still had his heart fill with longing, a deep seated ache and yet this time he felt...lighter. After all this was the place he had been granted a second chance at life. The place he had been healed of geostigma and later had found himself waking up in, surrounded by children there he had been floating on his back in those pristine clear waters, his wounds healed, feeling renewed.
A second set of footsteps accompanied his. These ones lighter, more delicate and yet carried the strong presence he knew only one certain person to posses, her long dark chocolate brown hair dancing around her leather clad shoulders, her black leathery duster trailing after her as she walked at a steady pace next to him. Yes she had been there too on that day, alongside all of his companions, his friends, Denzel and Marlene. They had all been standing there looking at him with such relief filling them. Relief upon seeing him alive and the smile Tifa had smiled for him then, it had filled him with so many emotions he found it hard to describe them all and yet he had known one thing for certain in that moment. He would never leave her again.
For after all he had finally been able to forgive himself on that day. For all of his failures, in this place. A place that meant more to him than anyone could ever know.
The sunlight streamed down unabated upon the small lake in the middle of the church where Aerith's flowers once had bloomed and some clusters still hung around, their petals catching in the sunlight there they reached towards it on proud stems in a beautiful display of pure white and bright yellow framed by lush verdant green. The clear waters were just as pristine as the day it had welled forth and since then this place had seen itself being pretty crowded by children and adults alike that hadn't been graced by her healing rain, everyone seeking it to cleanse themselves of the scourge known as geostigma. That was five days ago and as it now stood the church was empty which served Cloud's needs perfectly. After all he had come here for a mission.
Without a word he drew forth the sword he had strapped onto his back when he came to a stop at the waters edge. An once old, worn and rusted sword but now looking just as shiny and new as the day it had been forged. The buster sword. A sword that had served him well, as well as one of his long lost friends. Cloud had spent the last couple days polishing and cleaning it up to the best of his ability, having fetched it from its prior perch at the place where his friend had died. Where Zack...had died. He had to admit to himself that it had been tough but he wanted the blade restored. To shine bright again, to honour his friend that had given his all to save him and who he knew was still watching his back. As he held it there in his right gloved hand beholding its brilliant metallic sheen in the radiant sun as he gently flexed it around he hoped that it would be enough. That Zack...was proud of him.
"Cloud? Are you...okay?"
Upon hearing Tifa's voice he realized his hand was trembling if ever so slightly but he quickly reigned himself in by tightening his grip around the hilt of the buster sword. I will be fine. I can do this.
"Yeah." He answered without looking at her, knowing she would see what he was really feeling if he did meet her eyes. He felt a bit bad in lying to her that he was okay when he knew that she would catch on that he really wasn't sooner rather than later, but at the moment he just wanted to focus on the task at hand, his striking blue eyes searching for a suitable place to put the sword to rest.
It didn't take him long to find a suitable location. On the opposite side of the lake a slightly askew stone platform awaited, nestled next to the stone wall with a couple of beautiful flower patches framing it. Radiant sunlight from the hole in the ceiling above and from the many windows adorned with colourful glass panes beamed down on it which made it a prime location. Perfect even. Cloud didn't hesitate in walking up to it, sword still in hand and Tifa was sure to follow although her steps was a bit unsure not that she needed to. Cloud himself had requested the young martial artist to accompany him even when she hadn't known Zack all that well. Still she hadn't objected, knowing how important this was to Cloud. After everything and besides they didn't need to worry about the children since Barret was still hanging around in Midgar. The burly man long having wanted to catch up on some lost time with his adoptive daughter, Marlene.
No words were shared between the two as the young swordsman finally reached his destination on the smooth worn grey stone, the radiant sunshine from above catching in his blonde soft spikes, making them shimmer almost like gold. He took a steadying deep breath, being aware of Tifa's ever comforting presence beside him. She didn't say anything and she didn't really need to. She just standing there at his side was enough. Thank you, Tifa. You have no idea how much this means to me. At his thoughts he closed his eyes, a myriad of emotions welling inside, ones of happiness, relief, gratitude, anxiety but also a profound sorrow. One he knew well. All too well. I never got to give you a proper send off did I Zack? He felt grief claw at his heart as he opened his eyes, his gaze downcast. I just hope this will be enough.
Newfound purpose gaining ground within he raised the buster sword skyward, the same purpose being reflected in the deep vibrant blue of his eyes as he flicked it around in his hand so the sharp tip pointed downwards. Then with two hands he thrust it down into the solid rock as firmly as he could, his lips pressed together into a thin line. He then slowly let go of its hilt knowing that it would support itself now there its sharp tip was now embedded in the stone. Still the thought that this probably would be the last time he would ever wield the blade hit him harder than he thought and before he could stop it he felt his hands start to tremble.
No, not yet. I-I need to say something, anything before leaving. I owe him that much. Taking another steadying breath he tried to still his frazzled nerves, the grief that now tore at his heart intensifying and in response he curled his hands into tight fists, something that made them tremble even more, the leather of his worn gloves creaking. He hadn't noticed he had closed his eyes until he felt a hand land on his right shoulder, then squeezed it reassuringly.
"You can do it, Cloud."
Said swordsman found himself looking to the direction of the voice upon hearing Tifa''s voice only to meet those beautiful warm auburn eyes. They met his blue ones evenly and the warmth in them brought him pause, his tight fists loosening. A smile graced her soft pink lips as well, just as warm as her eyes, filled with the kindness and love she held for him and with it Cloud felt some of his tension melt away, his grief.
"Take all the time you need. I'm here with you."
Tifa's kindness and patience gave him heart and steeling his resolve he found his gaze back at the gleaming blade in front of him and gleaming it was, its now keen edge a testament over how dedicated Cloud had been in restoring it. He took a moment to think on what to say, his blue eyes downcast before he once more looked at the blade, his gaze filled with determination, but also one of deep gratitude.
"Thanks Zack. For everything..." He paused, his words having been soft spoken as a small gentle smile graced his lips, the steely resolve in his eyes softening there he kept his gaze focused intently on the blade. The only memento he had left of his friend.
"I...I hope I serve you well as your living legacy and that-" He swallowed, his grief still clawing at his heart but he pushed through. He needed to push through. "And that you are proud of me." Despite his best efforts in keeping himself composed he felt his breath hitch in his throat and his lips started quivering as his gentle smile fell, but still he needed, no wanted to push through. Even if it hurt, even when his insides felt fit to burst, wanting so desperately to say more. Zack you deserve this. I gave Aerith a proper send off and the same I will give to you.
He took a deep breath in an effort to calm himself, Tifa's hand still there on his shoulder and he felt another reassuring squeeze. It was firmer this time but she remained silent which Cloud found himself immensely grateful for there he kept his blue gaze locked on the blade. Still it didn't stop the strange yet familiar prickling he felt in the corner of his eyes and he blinked them rapidly against it, willing it away. He refused to cry. He couldn't allow it. Not now.
"Goodbye Zack. May you...rest in peace." And with that it became too much. Too final. Squeezing his eyes shut he promptly turned his head to the side facing away from Tifa, not wanting her to see the pained expression he knew to be clear as day on his face. His chest constricted painfully in response as the painful memories of his friend's passing once more played before his minds eye. The gunfire, the blood splattering then soaking steadily over barren rocks and cracked ground, staining it all into a deep crimson red. It had been so much of it. Too much of it and then there was Zack's chest. Riddled with so many bullet holes he couldn't keep track and he could only watch helplessly as his friend's life ebbed away and-
He choked, suddenly very aware of Tifa's presence beside him and he held his breath in an effort to stifle his raging emotions but he knew deep within it was of no use. He knew she had caught on the fact he was in pain after all. Could feel the slight trembling of his frame there she still had her hand on his shoulder. Something she made apparent as he heard her move to stand in front of him, to look at him but Cloud kept his head lowered stubbornly facing away from her, even when the hand she still held on his shoulder felt so warm and alive there against his skin. Gentle and inviting. Reassuring.
A surprised gasp escaped him when he felt her other hand reach out to take hold of his chin, then to gently urge him to look at her which he found himself compelled to do, the blue in his eyes just as perplexed as they once more met her beautiful auburn ones. Her hand then moved up to cup his cheek, gentle and warm as she started stroking along his cheek bone with her thumb.
"It's okay, Cloud. To mourn. To feel pain. After all he was very dear to you." She was still smiling to him as she spoke. That same smile filled with her kindness and all the love she held for him, one of deep understanding. One that reached her eyes there they still so effortlessly held his and at that moment Cloud found himself wondering why she was still standing there at his side. After all he didn't share his problems with her. Couldn't be there for her when she needed him and then left without a word when he got geostigma not wanting her to see him suffer, to have Marlene and Denzel see him suffer. To have his friends worry. He had simply found it easier to run away from it all feeling like a failure. For how could he protect them when he couldn't even save himself and yet after everything she was the one who stood before him now, smiling that warm understanding smile and offering him comfort when he needed it the most. He could still feel it, her gentle warm touch on his cheek there she kept caressing it, her deep wine red eyes carrying a profound sense of patience and forgiveness. Forgiveness he still wasn't sure he deserved from her.
"Tifa I-" He didn't get further as he chocked on what he wanted to say, his throat so tight it physically hurt. He squeezed his eyes shut against it, fighting so hard to keep all of the emotions welling forth inside at bay. His grief over Zack, the hollowness his and Aerith's deaths had left in his heart, all of the loneliness he had felt the last couple months, the fear of dying from the geostigma but more than anything the knowledge that he had hurt Tifa, abandoned her, trying so desperately to renounce everything he held dear to protect them, to protect her. It hurt. Had hurt him for a while but he, he had just bottled it all up, trying to run, wanting to escape from it all. In a way he realized he had been selfish.
Please forgive me. I was stupid I-I didn't mean to hurt you. Please... He wanted so desperately to say the words but nothing came out. Nothing except a small pained choked sound and in response he tried to turn away from her, to leave, not wanting her to see him like this but Tifa had other plans as he felt her pull him into a tight embrace, her cheek softly pressed against his there she had her arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders. He stiffened from the sudden action, her proximity, his eyes wide as if he didn't know what to do with himself at first but her gentle voice soon dispelled the notion, ever kind and welcoming.
"You don't need to apologize, truly. You are here now and that's all that matters and besides." She paused and Cloud could feel some hesitance in the way she held herself before she continued and yet it was encouraging somehow. "...You don't need to hold it in around me, Cloud. If you need to talk about something. To cry, I will be there. I will listen so please just let it out."
Her words, the way she hugged him resonated with something deep within him, a memory of him saying something similar to her a long time ago, and of comforting her. Before he knew it he felt tears stream down his face, hot and wet, blurring his sight. They are not a sign of weakness. They are not a waste of time. He tried to remind himself, knowing it to be true and yet he felt hesitance burning within him, hesitance in allowing them to fall, even around her. Then why am I still fighting them?
"Cloud...it is okay."
It all becoming too much he finally gave in, a pained expression on his face as he embraced Tifa in kind, his hold around her more desperate, his arms clasped tightly around her back. He proceeded to try to burrow his face into the side of her neck, wanting to hide from the world even when it was just them there in the church. Still Tifa didn't seem to mind since she just kept holding him, a hand going up to gently sift through his blonde soft spikes as she held him closer and with it Cloud felt something within him finally break. Much akin to a dam being broken he let it out, his cries raw and filled with everything he had held in the past weeks, the past months. He hoped it would be enough wanting so desperately to voice his inner turmoil, his pain but words escaped him under it all there he shook, holding so desperately around her finding himself unable to do anything except crying into her shoulder, sobs racking his body. It was all he could do.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
He couldn't tell how long they remained that way but having cried himself raw he finally pulled away from Tifa's embrace, feeling some reluctance from her as he did so and he couldn't really blame her. Still he felt like he had imposed on her enough and facing away from her he tried to hide, not wanting her to see his tear stained face and puffy red eyes. Before he could do as much as fully turn away from her he felt her warm hand touch his cheek again, then it being joined by the other as she cupped his face then to gently turn him towards her so he could look at her, so she could look at him and there it was, her understanding warm smile, the smile she only reserved for the people she cared deeply about. For him. A profound caring in her deep wine red eyes she gently started to wipe away his tears with the back of her fingers. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sure Zack is proud of you and so am I." Despite his best efforts Cloud felt his lips start to quiver again at her words, her caring and he looked away from her in response, feeling a tear escape him as he did so but Tifa caught it with her thumb. He could feel it as well as her hands were still cupping his face but still he didn't look at her, his blue gaze stubbornly kept downcast. It all simply was too much, his chest still tight. "Cloud, look at me."
It took him a moment, longer than he liked. He swallowed as he tried to blink some of the puffiness in his eyes away, his tears. For a fleeting moment a part of him wanted nothing but to turn away from her but her gentle touch still there on his cheeks kept him grounded and with it he once more raised his gaze to look at her, the blue in his eyes radiating everything he was feeling. What he saw was worry on her face at first. Worry for him but soon her smile was back, the warm twinkle in her eyes and once more he felt her caress his cheek. "You are still strong. Stronger than you think and no matter what I-I..." She paused as if struggling to find the words, her gaze falling to look at the stone they were standing on for a moment as she seemed to try to collect her thoughts. Cloud was thinking about saying something but before anything could come to mind he found her eyes back on his vibrant blue ones, smile back on her lips as she continued. "You are still beautiful in my eyes."
Her words brought him pause. After everything he had done, after having cried his heart out she still found him strong. Beautiful even. He felt his breath hitch in his throat as he finally found his voice. "Tifa...I...I..."
It happened as if on its own accord. His arms was around her before she could say anything more and with it he pressed his cheek softly yet firmly against hers, closing his eyes. He felt her respond to his embrace in kind and this time he didn't hold her so desperately. He felt...lighter. Instead he focused on taking it all in, her warmth against his skin, the feel of her hand gently stroking his back, the smell of the shampoo she used in her hair, of lavender and rosemary. One he had noticed before but not paid much attention too. I'll need to fix that. Fix many things. He let out a shuddering breath, finally feeling more at ease there he kept his arms held around her, relaxing into her. Something that didn't go past unnoticed he knew when he heard Tifa speak.
"Feeling better?"
"Yeah." Was his simple response, his eyes still closed as he held her a little closer. He thought on what to say, what he wanted to say. Something he should have said a long time ago. Then it clicked. "I wont leave you again. Not like that." He opened his eyes at the end of his words, newfound resolve glinting in those blue depths as he held her closer. "I promise."
"I know, Cloud. I always believed in you. That you would one day return. Still it feels so good to hear you say it..." Despite her words something in the way she held herself, the slight hesitance in her voice drove a wedge of apprehension into Cloud and with it he pulled a bit back from the embrace but he still kept his hands on her shoulders as he tried to get eye contact with her. She wasn't looking at him and yet he could sense the doubt there. The doubt she still carried after he left her, left them, her last words spoken like she didn't believe him. Not fully.
"I mean it." He tried, holding onto her shoulders a bit more firmly and with it he once more had her deep wine red eyes meet his blue ones and what he saw there had him almost avert his gaze but he stood firm, the careful hopefulness she still carried for him and his return despite everything almost overpowering. He swallowed from it before taking a step back from her, his hands falling back to his sides. Still his eyes never strayed from hers, doing nothing to hide what he was feeling, that he truly meant it and with it he continued. "I...I'm ready to move on. I'm done running and I would like to start over anew...that is if you would still have me..." Unable to look her in the eye he looked away at the end of his words, feeling too shy but more than anything afraid to see the possible rejection there. He turned a bit away from her, feeling anxiety claw at his heart as he looked down, pressing his lips together. Please let it be enough. I-I don't know how to start anew otherwise...A small surprised gasp escaped him when he once more felt her warm hand touch his cheek, gently turning his face so he could look at her.
"Didn't I tell you? You always got me silly. Of course I will have you. The 7th heaven...it's our home and it will always be." At her words Tifa gently let the hand she had on his cheek fall until she held it up against his chest, her palm lightly pressed against his heart. "It will always be your home."
"Tifa." Just one word and it already carried everything he felt for her. He felt them welling up from within filling his heart with warmth. All of his love for her, his appreciation, the gratitude and the immense relief over her still accepting him despite everything, her always being there at his side, to pick him back up, to encourage, to forgive. Yes this time he would strive to do the same for her he resolved. To be her pillar, to support her, to pick her back up if need be. He would be there for her this time. He would be there for his family.
"Thank you." He said as he gently overlapped her hand still pressed against his heart with his own, a gentle smile gracing his lips as he looked up to meet her eyes. "Thank you for everything."
"You always got me. Remember that."
Cloud gave her a nod, a small sound of acknowledgement escaping his throat as he still with that gentle smile on his lips turned to look at the gleaming blade embedded in the stone beside them for the last time. At least for now. He felt Tifa move to do the same there she observed him, him gently having let go of her hand which she lowered back to her side. Cloud then spoke, his eyes on the blade he so diligently had restored. "You're back at her side now, Zack. As it should be." His smile fell a bit as a memory of Zack and Aerith walking away from him together played before his mind's eye, their familiar slowly retreating forms disappearing into that blinding white. Aerith's pink ribbon and Zack's dark long spiky hair...
"Cloud?" Said blond startled a bit at Tifa's voice but he didn't look at her as he took a small steadying breath, blinking his eyes in an effort to dispel the memory, figuring he still had his gaze locked onto the blade.
"Take care of him Aerith. Take care...of each other." And with that he felt like his mission was complete. He felt...lighter than he thought he would. A profound sense of satisfaction filled him, knowing he had managed to say what he had wanted to say and he had managed to say what he had wanted to say to Tifa for so long as well. Before he could stop it a relieved sigh escaped him, closing his eyes as he did so. Something that didn't go unnoticed he soon found when a warm gentle hand touched his shoulder and in response he looked towards the woman clad in dark leather that always remained at his side and what he saw there on her face was worry. Worry for him. He couldn't have that so he smiled at her, that same gentle reassuring smile he always reserved for her and her alone.
"I'm fine, Tifa. Thanks to you." He paused, turning fully towards her now, taking in the way her dark chocolate brown hair shimmered in the sunlight there it framed her face. "Shall we go back? I'm sure Denzel and Marlene misses us."
"Yes, sure." And with that her bright warm smile was back on her face and as if from the sight alone Cloud could swear his own smile widened, although slightly. He was about to take the lead being of the mind to head back to his motorcycle when something bright and yellow caught in his peripheral vision and upon looking at it his eyes landed on nothing but a bright yellow lily there it stood proud at the waters edge by the stone. The flower of reunion, the very same he had gifted to Tifa way back in the original 7th Heaven in sector 7 before everything. It felt like a lifetime ago...
Aerith...she wanted me to give the flower to someone special. Tifa and I...we had just reunited back then much like...we did just recently.
As sudden as the thought had come an idea struck the young swordsman, his face lightening up and without further ado he swiftly bent down and deftly picked the flower. He held it for a hesitant moment as he straightened, his back towards his childhood friend. It being safe there he held it delicately by its stem with his right gloved hand he took a moment to behold its beauty, knowing how much it meant for him, for Tifa. Its very symbolism alone.
"Cloud? Is that-" The young swordsman didn't allow her to finish as he turned around to face her, a shy gentle smile on his lips as he held it out for her.
"I remembered." Cloud said simply, hoping it would be enough as he looked a bit shyly away from his childhood friend. Not that he really needed to since he felt her accept the flower he handed to her without hesitation. He saw it then, the sheer joy shining through her eyes there she beheld the beautiful radiant flower now in her hands, but there was disbelief there too when she looked up at him, tears welling up in her eyes but not ones of sadness but of deep profound joy. Still it drove a wedge of apprehension into him but before he could do or say anything Tifa had pulled him into a tight heartfelt embrace, flower still in hand.
"Thank you, Cloud. Really, thank you."
He felt her appreciation for him, for his simple gesture literally radiating of her and in response he responded to her embrace in kind once more and this time he hoped to remain like this a little longer as he held her closer, all of his apprehension and worries melting away. He dared to think that this time they would really be okay. He would do his damnedest to be there for them, for her. Like I was always meant to be. He gently started to sift a gloved hand through her dark soft tresses. Like I always wanted all along. Closing his eyes he allowed her warmth to fill him, feeling completely at peace. She truly was his home, his sanctuary.
And you will always be...
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