Hello everyone!
Welcome to my first Star Wars fanfic. For some time I wanted to write something in English and I guess this was my chance.
This is basically the result when you mix too much Game/film theory with the knowledge that nobody (except a few) knows that Vader and Anakin are the same person. All of this sprinkled with a ridiculous pairing and a galaxy apparently full of shippers.
All of this is pre-Bespin, so Luke doesn't know who his father really is.
Before you start reading, I want to apologise for any grammatical, orthographic or vocabulary errors. Because it is possible that they exist since English is not my first language.
Star Wars doesn't belong to me; I just own this crazy idea. Enjoy.
Firmus Piett was proud of his work. He was the Captain of the imperial flagship Executor (The Lady for the crew) and very proud of it. The only downside was that his Commander liked to choke his underlings every time he was angry or displeased, which was all the time. He also had to put up with Admiral Ozzel, but he was not going to talk about that clown.
Today was a good day, nobody had died yet and his lordship wasn't unnerving everyone in the bridge with his presence or heavy breathing. As he was saying, it was good day.
However, something was happening with the crew. During the day, he saw troopers and officers whispering to each other. He was suspicious, but he had so much to do, so he forgot about it almost immediately.
Later, before going to bed, he checked his datapad for the last time. Something always came up at the last minute that he had to solve because apparently, he was surrounded by useless people (Ozzel).
In there, he had a lot of things: reports on the state of the ship and the crew, emails from other officers... and a new email from his friend Max with the word urgent in capital letters in the subject.
Curious, he opened the email, noticing it was a link to a video. He tapped the link and waited for the video to start.
'I have a bad feeling.' Thought Firmus and what a bad feeling it was. Just at that moment, the video started to play and somewhat distorted but feminine voice was heard through the speakers.
"Hello holonet! Welcome to HoloTheorys, where we do all kinds of theories from "It is possible for ewoks to defeat a stormtrooper squadron?" to "Jar jar binks is a closet Sith Lord!" Today we have a new theory featuring one of the imperial most wanted: Luke Skywalker!"
'Oh no.' The thought crossed the imperials mind while the blood drained from his face.
"OH YES! We are going to talk about this! As the whole galaxy knows, a few months ago the Death Star was destroyed by a rebel pilot named Luke Skywalker and an enormous bounty was placed on his head. If you lived during the Clone Wars you will recognize his last name thanks to another famous Skywalker: Anakin Skywalker. You know, one of the legendary Jedi Generals? Half of the famous duo 'Skywalker-Kenobi'? The poster boy from the Republic? Yeah, he is the one."
[In the video appeared several pictures of the same person. A tall blond man with crystal blue eyes wearing brown and black robes with a little bit of armour. In some pictures he was fighting droids with a blue lightsaber and in others he was smirking at the camera with a two finger salute.]
Firmus remembers him and won't admit it to anyone, but he had been a fan of Anakin Skywalker, like pretty much everyone in the Republic at that time. Pity that his son is a rebel.
"Anyone who has eyes or is not blind can clearly see that those two are related: they both have the same last name, weird Force powers, great pilots and they look the same except for a few differences. But who is Luke's other parent?"
[Two photos appeared side by side, one with Anakin and the other with Luke (the one on the wanted poster). Arrows also appeared indicating the resemblance between the two. A black silhouette with a white question mark in the middle emerges between the photos of the blondes.]
"Well I think I have the answer. And it is... Please drum roll... None other than our current Supreme Commander of the Imperial Forces, Darth Vader!"
[The black silhouette reveals to be a picture of the Sith Lord.]
And with that Firmus choked on his own spit, barely managing to stop the video and coughing like there is no tomorrow. It took him five minutes recover his breathing. He should stop watching this, he knew. It was absurd and illogical; however, curiosity was too much and he couldn't resist.
"WAIT! Before you say it's absurd or stop watching the video let me explain. The first clue is in the famous wanted poster. In the poster specifically states that Luke Skywalker should be captured alive and shouldn't be injured under any circumstances and not fulfilling this causes a punishment worse than death at the hands of resident Sith Lord."
[The wanted poster they were talking about appeared on the screen and zoom in the description under de picture. As the speaker was reading the words, they were underlined in yellow.]
"So why would anyone want their supposed enemy alive and in perfect condition instead, you know, dead or at least beaten up a bit? Second clue! According to rumours Vader is OBSESSED with finding information about the young Skywalker. Not just the typical information one expects, but information about things that from a military (or enemy) point of view are quite useless as well, like favourite colour or dessert. If you really hate someone, those kinds of things don't really matter; you only want them to be six feet underground. Third clue, according to even more rumours; Vader violently killed an officer who suggested some forms of torture to punish the destroyer of the Death Star."
[The word logical covered the entire screen and was crossed out with an x]
"All of these things lead me to the conclusion that Vader has no intention of killing or punishing Luke. In fact, he is protecting him from other imperials and wants to know all about him in a strange and stalker kind of way."
Firmus thought that in an way, the video was right. The attitude of his superior did not make sense but when it was explained like that, everything began to make some sense. The obsessive attitude, the continuous persecution, the bounty... He gulped.
He decided to continue watching the video, then worry about his mental breakdown later.
"Now is when you ask: If Luke is Dart Vader's son, why didn't we know about it? Why Vader didn't raise Luke? How did Anakin and Vader meet? And another bunch of questions like that."
[When the video started talking about the questions a lot of question marks appeared on the screen.]
Firmus nodded, they were good questions.
"Patience. To the question of how they met, I believe a young Anakin meet a young Vader and BAM! LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT! BECAUSE YES, IT'S LOVE AND I'M GOING TO PROVE IT!
[Two images emerge from opposite corners of the frame (Anakin's from the right and Vader's from the left), they meet in the middle and the background changes to a pink colour with red hearts.]
"I do not know much about Sith Lords but Skywalker senior was a Jedi Knight and that was a problem for our couple. Love, attachment and having children were forbidden for the Jedi and adding the issue that the Jedi and Sith were unconditional enemies, we have here a recipe for a secret relationship. The fact that they both had a child speaks volumes of the love they must have felt for each other."
What he was hearing didn't compute in the Captains brain. He was unable to think that his lord, the same Sith who hated and choke everyone, had been able to love someone. And on top of that, having a child! Firmus was beginning to wish he had alcohol within reach. Well... he should have started craving for alcohol much earlier.
What came next was a lot of 'evidence' about how the theory was true and how their relationship comes to be: rumours both old (the Republic era) and new, old interviews with some Jedi (even Anakin himself!) and Senators, documents, anecdotes, diagrams... Even the only two interviews that the emperor did in the first days of the Empire made appearance! The same interviews which were withdrawn and deleted shortly after they were broadcast!
The Captain had to give it to her; she had really worked hard on the theory.
A long the explanation, the speaker also exclaimed things like: "If he's not talking about Anakin when he said that, I SWEAR I WILL SHAVE MY HAIR" "THEY LOOK AT HIM WHEN THEY SAID THAT PART" and "COME ON! IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS!"
"After investigating all of this and thought a lot about the matter, I think I found out what happened. Anakin Skywalker and Dart Vader were in love and in a secret relationship. Right at the end of the Clone Wars the Jedi discovered that relationship and that they had a son. The attack of the Jedi temple happens with Vader and the stormtroopers. Then Anakin dies and Vader kills everyone for revenge."
A recreation of the events were explained in the form of some badly drawn cartoonish animation.
[When the relationship was supposedly discovered:
"Obi-Wan Kenobi" (hands in the hair): HoW CoULD YoU DO ThiS!
"Anakin Skywalker" (trying to explain himself and failing): But Master! I love him!
"Obi-Wan Kenobi" (looks at the sky looking for answers): WHaT DiD I Do WrOnG!]
[The attack to the Jedi temple:
"Vader" (starts hitting Jedi with his lightsaber and chocking everyone around): DIE JEDI! DIEEE!
"Obi-Wan Kenobi" (waving his lightsaber angrily and erratically, almost hitting Anakin in the face): YOU WILL PAY FOR STEALING MY APRENDICE VIRGINITY! (Firmus had a small heart attack hearing this).
"Anakin Skywalker" (blushing and covers his face with his hands): MASTER! STOP EMBARASING ME! FOR THE FORCE SAKE!
*Characters fighting*
*Anakin dies tragically and in a dramatic way*
"Vader" (on his knees screaming at the heavens with a raised arm): NOOOOOO!
*Starts killing spree (with the Imperial March in the background)*]
Firmus really didn't know whether start to cry or laugh. He had to stop the video again, to gain control of himself and to try to think coherently. While he ordered his thoughts something occurred to him: what happened with Skywalker?
"I can hear all of you screaming: so what happened to Luke? Simple, one of the surviving Jedi takes him. Maybe not all of you know, but the first time Luke showed up in the Empire's radar he was accompanying Obi-Wan Kenobi. Alfer all, there were a lot of witnesses who saw him while Vader fought Kenobi on the Death Star. Most likely Kenobi took him when Anakin died while Vader was busy massacring the Jedi for the death of the person he loved. Kenobi took baby Luke to Tatooine (Luke is from Tatooine) because he knew that Vader wouldn't go to the planet his love was from."
[Again the badly draw Obi-Wan Kenobi made appearance, this time carrying a pile of cloth with the label of 'Baby Luke' in a sandy planet.]
"Kenobi has reasons to hate Vader: for being a Sith, for killing the Jedi, for making Anakin fall in love with him and with that breaking the rules of the Order and probably for the virginity thing (that part was quietly murmured). On Tatooine, he would probably train Luke to kill his other parent or something like that because it would be poetic or philosophical or some of those things that Jedi liked (and for vengeance of course).
Then the next we saw Luke, we all know what happen. He became a Rebel, (talk about teenager rebellion) the Death Star was destroyed and all of that. But remember, this is just a theory! UNTIL NEXT TIME!
Firmus barely noticed that video was over. He stared at the screen of his holopad for five minutes. Next, he took several deep breaths. He could do this, he could do this! Seriously! Just when all the pent up stress and unnamed feelings started to poke their heads out of the box that was his self-control, the large comment section caught his attention.
He read some of them. A minority was sceptical, nevertheless; the larger part was practically in love with the idea of the tragic romance between Jedi and Sith and were quickly discussing potential names for the couple.
'OH NO, OH NO!' He thought. Remember the bad feeling he had before watching the video? Multiply it by a thousand, that's what he, felt when he read a very specific comment.
*Ok, the names are cute and important but nobody is asking the RIGHT question. WHO WOULD IT BE THE TOP?!*
He needs a bottle of alcohol. No, he needs a whole alcohol cupboard. The most expensive one! LIKE, RIGHT NOW!
Meanwhile with the rebels, a certain blonde pilot returned from training with his squad. After a shower he started looking for his friend Han, knowing that Leia was busy in meetings with the other leaders of the Rebellion. He found him sitting in a box near the Millennium Falcon watching something on a holopad.
"Hi, Han" Luke greeted his friend as he approached and sat next to him.
"Hey, kiddo. You really need to see this." Han answered while he showed what was in the holopad.
20 minutes later
"This is impossible. This can't be happening." Denied Luke, catatonic and staring at nothing with glassed eyes.
"I know right? This stoopa thinks that Vader was the Bottom." Said Han with a huff reading the comments and ignoring what Luke was talking about.
"How... How can it be real?" Stuttered Luke while one of his eyes started to twitch.
"It can't, because Vader is the Top! Do you know who Vader is? There is NO WAY that he is the Bottom! Their argument is useless, like them! I WILL SHOW THEM!" Cry out Han while tapping aggressively on the holopad.
Luke started to feel a fog in his head and everything started crashing onto him. Then, the inevitable happened.
Error detected: Luke Skywalker's brain stopped working! Please reboot!
Translation:
Stoopa: stupid
Max, Piett's friend is General Veers. I like to think that they are both good friends who hang out during breaks to complain to each other about everything, so I mentioned in the start.
Well, I really hope that you all like it and you guys had as much fun reading the fanfic as I did while I was writing it. I also plan to start writing the reactions of other characters and even expand Han and Luke's reactions a bit.
Until next time!