Methinks this chapter is too short but... I didn't like where the other half of this one went... it needed to be its own thing... so...

Chapter 4 - Slow Dancin'

The music was fast paced, lively and Harm tried to ignore the ways in which Mac swayed. the way her six looked covered by those black jeans. So he moved back and forth occasionally casting a glance towards his girlfriend to not make it so obvious that the Marine held his interest.

Girlfriend. How exactly he'd wound up in a steady relationship was beyond him. Jordan was attractive, intelligent and pulled out of him truths he'd buried away. Truths that only the woman dancing with him now probably knew or assumed. He spoke with her easily about his father, his obsessions at first not realizing she was using the gift of psychology to drag things out of him. It made him bendable in a way, too willing to be with her because she could use his inadequacies against him.

And that was why they had their first argument. "Quit trying to psychoanalyze me." Harm was upset, rightfully so. East conversation became something like a couch session and slowly he began to see her insecurities manifest.

"You need to let go Harm if not you're never going to be happy with me...or anyone."

And Harm kept coming back because he had nowhere else to go. As much as he hated to admit it, he was getting tired of being alone and hand long since passed that girl in every port phase. Jordan had tried going over his 'roster' so to speak and left him speechless because he honestly hadn't a clue how many women he'd been with. Not that it mattered anyway, he was with her - she was a good woman, wasn't she?

She was right of course, his biggest flaw was the inability to really let go and let anyone in. Jordan knew why, she pinpointed it after the first night they spent together when she walked around his place finding all of the knickknacks and pictures - evidence of the love he had for his father.

"You want to be him but you don't want to love like he did. It scares you doesn't it?" She surmised because his place was nothing more than a 'bachelor pad' lived in by a man who refused to grow up although he admitted to possibly wanting a family. Her methods were a tad unscrupulous like purposely leaving things at his place - her purse so that she was forced to return after a semi-awkward morning after. The toothbrush, paste and other toiletries that suddenly appeared in his medicine cabinet. Lacey underwear left between his sheets as well as that female scent that turned him on.

Jordan wasn't a bad woman. She was kind, helpful, pretty and they were good in bed. Then why wasn't it her face he saw when they joined as lovers? Why was it someone else he was trying to please? The fast paced music slowed and when Mac quickly turned in an effort to disappear into the crowd he stopped her. "Not so fast, Major."

A slow, sultry number played off the jukebox and his arm snaked around her waist but still kept them decently apart. Mac forced a smile and began swaying in circles with him, the beating of her heart almost deafening when his hand dropped just above her six. She wondered what it would feel like to have him pressed against her, the hard muscles of his male body straining against her soft curves. She'd slept in his arms once but that desire wasn't there, not like this maddening ache that wouldn't go away. Couldn't he feel it? She sighed, Harmon Rabb junior must be the most oblivious man on Earth. "Been a while."

"It has, yeah."

The hand holding hers squeezed slightly and she could feel his eyes on her, a gaze that burned. "Harm, maybe we shouldn't do this. you have a girlfriend and I…" 'I am not her.' She wanted to say but pride wouldn't let her not when he'd shot down every attempt to let her feelings be known. What was his excuse on the Watertown? Oh yeah, 'This isn't a marriage.' Of course, the great Harmon Rabb wouldn't want to be saddled with anyone like her.

"We're just dancing, Mac."

"Slow dancing…"

"Okay. We're slow dancing. It's still dancing with a friend and Jordan's pretty open minded."

As they turned Mac glanced towards the women, the three who seemed absolutely fixated on her and Harm. Jordan seemed to be the most interested although she was doing a fine job of hiding the displeasure, Mac could feel the tension and didn't like to be on the receiving end of it. "What's she like? You came to me that night when you were having problems. I assume that's past now?"

"Yeah, I think so. We're doing pretty good."

Why did that hurt so bad? "Okay, so what's she like?"

Harm shrugged. There was just something about Mac that would always make him tongue tied. The question wasn't difficult to answer, he could relay facts and notions about anyone like a good lawyer would. But, it bothered him that she was the one doing the asking. "What do you want to know?"

"Stuff. You know? The usual? Is she nice? Does she treat you right?" There were other things Mac wanted to know too, things she would never ask: Did she please him? Do his lips dance over Jordan's the way they once did over hers? Do they wake up together after a night of making love? Did she love him? Those thoughts were consuming her now because for the life of her Mac couldn't rid herself of visions of Jordan and Harm in bed together. She didn't want to imagine it but it was her obsession, a drug she didn't want to consume anymore.

Harm smirked. "Well, Jordan is nice. She's kind, tries to find my flaws, my weaknesses. She's pretty, has a nice smile, can cook. She likes white wine over red wine, and has an affinity for fancy restaurants. I don't know, Mac." He chuckled and spun her around once to pull her back. "And yeah, I guess I'm happy with her. It's uncomplicated"

"Good. I'm glad." She tried to pull out of his arms again but the man held her tighter, almost plastering her body against his until she relented. "Harm, let go. I don't wanna dance. I want to go home, shower and go to bed. It's been a long week."

He relaxed his grip but didn't let her go fully not until he said his peace. "I'm sorry but, I thought this was the only way I could talk to you. After your trial it's like...like we opened up some divide and I can't find the way to close that gaping hole... You've been avoiding me. Why?"

"Does it matter?"

"It does to me. You're my friend and…"

"I betrayed you." She said in a voice so soft he might have missed it if the music were any louder. Mac's eyes filled with tears and she went stiff in his arms, the dance becoming less fluid and awkward as she tried, yet again, to get away from him. "I can't blame you. A lie of omission is a lie just the same."

"Why didn't you tell me about Farrow or Chris? Why did you lie about what happened, Mac? You could have scuttled your career."

She laughed without feeling. "My career? Is that what you were concerned about? How about shame. Embarrassment? I'm always championing for women in the military and I did...that and I hate myself for it."

"You were young."

"That isn't an excuse."

"And it's something I could have done too. Take Krennick if she were my type, I would have. I know I would have and that shames me." He tilted her head up forcing Mac to look him in the eye. "I realized I didn't know much about you, only the tiny scraps you've shared because you had to."

The intensity in his eyes had made them darken to an intense shade of blue as he held her gaze. It was almost too much and it made her stomach flutter. "You know enough. I'm really not that interesting."

When the music stopped he still kept swaying, moving her as if they were the only two in the room. His eyes never left hers but as he released a hand Harm brought the pad of his thumb to brush the solitary tear that fell. "I think you're plenty interesting, Sarah." Before separating he pressed a kiss to her cheek and slowly pulled away.