One afternoon, I was back to the desert with Dante. We spent that whole summer in the desert. Us. Together in my truck. It felt so weird to say those words. I spent that whole summer whispering them to myself. It was weird, but in a good way. I could get lost in Dante so easily, his hands, his hair, his face. Everything about him was so familiar yet so deeply entrancing. 'Entrancing' that was a Dante word. I guess Dante's words were becoming mine too. We were getting used to sharing everything, everything. I liked the way it all could feel so fresh and so safe at the same time. I had never felt safe, not like that.

And yet everyone around me was becoming just that, even my parents. The silence that for so long we had all thought protected us disappeared. It didn't fall apart, maybe that was a secret of the universe. When things change, they don't always leave with a storm. Sometimes they leave so quietly that you don't even notice the new ordinary. Ordinary, that was a word that described that summer. Everything felt so ordinary, and I loved my parents for that.

"Do you want to have kids, Ari?" Dante said one of those summer days were nothing seemed quite real.
"Kids?"
"You know," he smiled, "the little humans that we were all once?"
I laughed. "I guess I do, but it's not like we'll be able to have them anyway."
"We? Do you think about us having kids, Ari?" I looked away. "Anyways, you don't know that. There's a lot of kids who need homes."
"I'm pretty sure about this, Dante. And hey, you were the one that brought it up."
"Maybe I'm a little crazy. But give me some credit, I'm in love."
"Oh yeah, who is he?"
"Only the greatest guy in the universe."
"You are crazy. You are lucky you're good looking."
"Crazy, crazy, crazy."
"Crazy, crazy, crazy." I felt so light. "What do you think will happen to us?"
He couldn't contain his laughter. "Oh Ari," he placed his head in my shoulder. "We have all the time in the word."

A few years later…

And just as that. Ari had finished his novel. Sure, he had written others before but this one was different. This one was about him, him and Dante, him and his husband. This had been nothing like what writing had been for him before. This was a full body experience. He had been feeling disconnected from his origins, found himself missing El Paso. But all of the sudden he was right there. He could almost smell the chlorine and sweat from the first time he had met Dante. He could feel the fever of that one mighty cold that summer. Could taste the rain and blood and fear of the accident. Could feel his eyes adjusting to the harsh lights of the hospital. Could feel that deep entrenched feeling in his stomach of missing Dante. Could let himself kiss Dante back, only for a second only to pull back. And could so clearly feel Dante's fingers carefully tracing his name on his back.

"Hey, Dante?" I said.
He walked in. There were a few gray hairs starting to peek and the lines around his eyes showed just how much laughing he had done in all these years. Ari had the exact same ones. And of course, he wasn't wearing shoes. Some things never change.
"What is it?"
"I'm done."
"What? You are done? Done with your novel? Does this mean I get to read it now?"
"It still needs some polishing and it's about ten thousand words too long, my editor is gonna kill me. But yeah, Dante. You can read it."
"Good 'cause you've been driving me crazy with all your secrets Angel Aristotle Mendoza. What's it even about?"
"It's about us. Us, Dante. You and me."
Dante looked as though he was about to cry. "Us?"
"Yeah."
This time Ari didn't stop himself from kissing him back.
"Well this calls for a celebration. Do you wanna go out for dinner?" Dante asked.
"I'm fine with a simple dinner at home. We don't have to do anything."
"No," Dante touched his shoulder, "you've spent the last few months hidden away in your studio. Samantha and I would like to see to see your face outside of this apartment."
"Fine." I knew I wasn't going to win this one. "Where is she anyways?"
"Oh, right. She was painting with me. I came here to tell you that your dad called, but she wanted to speak with him. They're probably still talking."
"What?"
"I know, I was as surprised as you are."

They found her sitting cross-legged on the floor. She turned around and stood up, she wasn't wearing shoes and her face was covered with paint. Dante tried to look with disapproval but he couldn't and started laughing. Over the years Ari had learned that his daughter had inherited Dante's disdain for shoes and authority. It was a battle that he knew he wasn't gonna win but he still tried.
"Samantha, you know you have shoes. You could wear them."
"Papá, grandpa wants to talk to you," she said to Ari. She had also inherited Dante's skill at changing conversations to where she pleased.

Ari talking to his dad had become a common occurrence when he went away to college. The combination of distance and Ari coming more into himself had led them to develop a better relationship. What he could have never predicted was how much Jaime would step up when they adopted Samantha. Him and his mom had come to live with them for the first few months, and much to his surprise it was Ari's dad the one that had given them all the most important pieces of advice. Babies are tougher than they seem, he remembered his dad saying.

"Hello, dad."
"Hi, Ari. Sammy tells me you haven't left your studio, haven't showered either she says." Was it that obvious?
Ari shot a look to his daughter who put on her most innocent looking face. "Are you using my daughter as a spy? Anyways, dad, I finished my book today. I'll take a shower," he stopped for a second, "if I feel like it."
"Aristotle Mendoza I did not raise you like that, what kind of example are you setting to your daughter?" Lily's familiar voice said.
"Mom? I'm just joking, I promise."
"Good. Is Dante there?"
"We share a home, he's always here. Even when you don't want to talk to anyone, he's there."
"Very funny," Dante took the phone, "you love me."
"I do."
"Hi, Lily. How's everything? How's the food bank? What have you cooked lately? Such a shame your son did not inherit your cooking abilities, I swear he'd starve if I let him."
"I heard that. May I remind you that I lived alone in grad school?"
"Yeah, you did. And ate exclusively tuna cans so my case rests."
"Everything is going well." Lily laughed. "The food bank serves more people every year and I honestly don't have much time for cooking lately, I've got projects you know."
"Of course," Dante said.

"To my lovely husband and his beautiful writing," Dante toasted in the dim lighting of their booth at the restaurant. Ari had been told they had already gone there but couldn't for the life of him remember when.
And their glasses clinked. Red wine for Dante, white for Ari and sparkling apple cider for Samantha. Ari could cry at that very moment and even though he was better at showing his emotions and was no longer a stranger to crying, he did have boundaries and he was pretty sure crying in a packed restaurant was crossing one of them.
"Well," Ari said, "I'd like to toast to my family, for putting up with me these past few months. I'll have more time to spend with you two, and shower."
They all laughed. Sometimes, it seemed crazy to Ari how easy their whole family dynamic was. How easily they could fall into conversation, how there were no real secrets in their family, that had been one of the promises Ari and Dante had made to each other before deciding to adopt their daughter. Which is why he almost didn't notice how now Sammy had asked about how her dads had met.
"Well, honey, that's actually what your dad's novel is about. Maybe he'll let you read it?"
Dante sure liked to put him in complicated positions. "She's only eleven, Dante."
"I'm sure she can handle it."
"Do you remember everything that happened, everything we did?"
"Woah, how far did you go?"
"What? Not like that. Still-" Ari looked at his daughter, he truly couldn't resist her puppy eyes. "Fine, you can read some parts, ok?"
"Yay, I can't wait."
"Yeah, hon, you'll read the parts your dad isn't ashamed of," Dante said.
"I'm not ashamed," Ari said and gave Dante a quick kiss and a look to Sammy, ewww dad, "how could I have ever been ashamed of loving Dante Quintana?"