Chapter 3 Biting Words

Lemmy skipped across the floor. His clown suit was completely dismantled and sitting in his dressing room. He giggled happily. The crowd had seemed to like his performance. In fact, the whole thing could be considered a success! Lemmy adorned a smile so big and bright that it would make the sun blush.

Lemmy bounded down the ramp and made his way into the audience. He saw his siblings all sitting in the front row, and right in the center of them was an empty seat. Lemmy sat down and grinned at Morton by his side.

"Hey, buddy!" he whispered. "Did you like my opening act?"

"Mmhm," Morton said with a nod. He leaned back in his chair. Lemmy did the same thing, allowing the darkness of the concert hall and the buzzing of the audience to lure him into a dreamlike daze. He let out a content sigh and looked up at the bright lights directed at the stage.

"That's good to hear. I think everyone else liked it too."

"Yeah," Morton said. "You really had the audience laughing."

Wendy leaned forward, covering her mouth to suppress any giggles.

"My favorite part was when you tripped over the skunk. Was that improvised?"

"Yes! As a matter of fact, it was!" Lemmy chuckled. "Doris made for a very handy prop."

"Wait, Doris?" Larry asked from his seat beside Morton. Lemmy nodded his head up and down.

"Mmhm, Doris. I found her in the woods last night. I decided that she would make for an excellent partner in the act!"

Iggy, who was sitting beside Wendy, put his hand to his chin.

"Wait. It is not safe to capture wild skunks. What if Doris…."

Before he could say anymore, Lemmy heard chattering. He sat up and saw the skunk at his feet. Doris had her teeth bared and was growling like a dog.

"Oh, hey Doris. How are you doing?"

Doris lifted her tail and aimed her butt in Lemmy's direction. A pungent odor filled the air, causing Lemmy to cough and hack away. The others were leaning away from him so they didn't accidentally get hit by the smell. Lemmy met their stares with chuckles.

"Uh...that was part of the act," he said.

"Right," said Morton. "Just like the hour long scrubbing you're going to have to take is part of the act too."

"Shut up."

With that, the lights started to brighten and the curtains were drawn back. Lemmy applauded the loudest out of anyone in the auditorium when he saw his older brother take his place in front of the orchestra. The audience quieted down as Ludwig picked up his baton.

Lemmy listened with wide open ears and sparkling eyes. The music flowed over him like a river. Yet, at the same time, it had a beep like sound that was very reminiscent of a phone chime going off. The trumpets had a very choppy sound, which Lemmy knew was completely intentional. Ludwig didn't include anything without giving it a purpose. Lemmy was proven right as the choppy trumpets were drowned out by the soothing clarinets and the whimsical flutes. Listening to it made Lemmy envision a fairy tale forest that was free of any and all evil. And when the cellos and drums came in...oh, it was so good!

But by far, the greatest part of the symphony was the climax. The trumpets, drums, and triangles were battling with the flutes, clarinets, and cellos. They fought for dominance, a war between nature and technology. Lemmy was bouncing up and down as he listened to them. Finally, it all slowly started to fade away. The trumpets signifying technology faded into the ether, the flutes signifying nature slowly quieted down. This sent chills down Lemmy's spine.

Finally, the symphony was over. It had taken an hour to reach it's full, mature length, and by the developer, it was glorious. Lemmy stood up in his chair as he and everyone else gave Ludwig a standing ovation.

…

Lemmy hustled and bustled his way through the crowd, trying to find his brother. One of the drawbacks of being short was that it was nearly impossible to find anybody in a crowd. He had to crawl between people's legs, shimmy around midsection as he tried to locate Ludwig. When he finally did find him, seeing some of the audience members out with a big smile, he couldn't help but feel relieved. He ran over to the blue haired composer joyfully.

"Ludwig!" he called out. Ludwig smiled when he saw Lemmy.

"Hey, Lems! Did you…" he stopped and sniffed the air. His nose led him straight down toward his younger brother. He clasped his hands over his nostrils. "Oh, gross! Lemmy, what happened to you?"

Lemmy chuckled sheepishly.

"I...may have accidentally gotten sprayed. By Doris."

Ludwig shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"I told you to leave that stupid skunk alone! You smell like you showered with toilet water and sulfur!"

Lemmy waved his hand to dismiss the statement.

"It's fine. It'll wash out!" He smiled. "Besides, that's not what is important right now! Have people said anything about my act?"

Ludwig nodded.

"Yeah, they actually have," he said, his clasped nose making his voice sound nasally. "I've heard mostly good things."

Lemmy did a fist pump.

"That's awesome!" He chuckled connivingly. "That must mean we are going to make a ton of moola!"

"That's the hope," Ludwig said. Suddenly, his face lit up. "Oh! Mr. Spiel!" He went over and gave the hand of the approaching Dragon Koopa a shake. Lemmy noticed that this Dragon koopa was dressed up in a suit. His eyes were the color of tin, his hair was like aluminum foil. He had a very lethargic quality to him, yet at the same time he looked prestigious. "It is so nice that you took the time to come here!"

Mr. Spiel sniffed.

"You delivered exceedingly well tonight, Mr. Koopa. I would consider it one of if not your absolutely best."

Ludwig chuckled.

"Coming from the most famous musical critic in the Kingdom, that is a major compliment."

Lemmy perked up. Critic! Ooh, he was probably going to write an article in the newspaper about the performance! If that was the case, Lemmy really wanted to paint himself in a good light. He approached Mr. Spiel.

"Mr. Spiel! Mr. Spiel!" he waved his arms around. The silver haired Dragon Koopa turned toward him and made a face (probably because of the skunk spray). Lemmy smiled happily.

"Mr. Spiel, it is an honor to see you! I am a huge fan of your work!" Lemmy had never actually seen any of his work, but he wanted to soften him up as much as possible. "Tell me, do you think writing about this performance in the newspaper is a possibility?"

Mr. Spiel's eyes softened up a little, although he did not smile.

"That is my ultimate plan, yes."

"Great! Do you think you could dedicate sometime in the article to talking about my clown act?"

Now Mr. Spiel's eyebrows lowered right back down. His nose also wrinkled up even more.

"Personally, I didn't even think such drivel would be worth talking about. But, if that is your desire, then I will."

With that, the critic left. Lemmy looked up at Ludwig in confusion.

"Drivel? What do you think he meant by that?"

Ludwig shook his head.

"I guess we'll have to wait and see."

…

Sure enough, Lemmy found out exactly what Mr. Spiel meant four days later. A newspaper arrived at the castle, upon Lemmy and Ludwig's request. Lemmy made sure to be the first to pick it up, and he flipped through it at rapid speed. He let out a squeal of delight when he saw Mr. Spiel's critique of the performance.

Unfortunately, his delight was quickly extinguished. The further he got into the article, the more his heart sank.

Ludwig Vanessa Koopa's performances have always been the glory of the Koopa Kingdom. And this performance in particular was his magnum opus. The blend of instruments to create the battle between nature and technology was beyond ingenious.

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for his poor choice of an opening act. The Clown act put on by his brother, Lemonade Natalie Koopa, was uninspired and childish. When juxtaposed next to the mature and developed symphony that immediately succeeds it, the performance just comes across as even worse. It is, quite frankly, an embarrassment, both for Lemonade and for Ludwig.

Lemmy continued to read. The rest of the article went through exactly what Mr. Spiel thought was wrong with the act and how he thought it was one of the worst things he had ever seen. By the time he got to the end, Lemmy's heart dropped to the floor. His mouth hung open as he stared down at the biting critique.

How could he think this? How could Mr. Spiel say this? After Lemmy had gone through all this trouble to make the act the best it could be? He had no right to say these things in the newspaper!

Or maybe he did. In Ludwig's words, Mr. Spiel was one of the most famous critics in the Kingdom. If he thought Lemmy's act was garbage...who was Lemmy to question him?

With this thought in mind, Lemmy sullenly went up to his room.