Chapter 5 The Greatest Detective

Ludwig wiped his damp hands on his cloak and exited the bathroom. It didn't take long for him to see that something was amiss. Lemmy was standing in front of the window with a plaid jacket draped over his shoulders, as well as a hat to match. In his hands was a bubble pipe, which he took continual puffs from. Ludwig stepped through the mess of bubbles to get to his brother. He could hear Lemmy muttering something to himself.

"Ten years ago she went missing." It sounded like he was trying to put on a deeper voice. "For ten years, that cold case has gone unsolved. For ten years, she made all the greatest detectives look like total fools!" He took another swig of the bubble pipe. "Curious. Very curious."

Ludwig looked from left to right. Surely this was a joke, right? Surely, this was an act being put on by Lemmy for someone else's entertainment! Oddly enough though, there was no one else in the room; he and Lemmy were the only ones. Ludwig cleared his throat.

"Uh, Lemmy?"

Lemmy turned. His face was ultra serious. Too serious.

"Why hello, dear chap," he said. He didn't even smile as he took off his hat and bowed. "I am Shellock Holmes, the greatest detective to ever live." He stood up to his full 4 foot 6. "How fortunate it is that you showed up in this most desperate time of need."

Ludwig glanced down at Lemmy. He couldn't even bring himself to keep a straight face.

"Lemmy, what in the World are you doing?"

Lemmy didn't answer. With a face so serious and a pipe so bubbly, he exited the room. Ludwig followed. His brother walked instead of skipped, which honestly looked bizarre.

"Dear chap, would you mind telling me your name?" Lemmy asked.

"Lemmy, you already know my name!" Ludwig exclaimed. Lemmy turned toward him with a thoughtful expression. He then smiled.

"Ah, of course I know your name! You're….Watson! My trusty assistant." He pulled another hat, this one gray and rounded, out of his hammerspace and gave it to Ludwig. "You really need to take better care of yourself!"

Ludwig stared at the hat that Lemmy had handed to him. Seriously, what was going on? It wasn't unusual for Lemmy to do weird things, but this was just….unwarranted.

"Lemmy…"

"I am not aware of this 'Lemmy' that you speak of," Lemmy said. "I would prefer it if you would refer to me as 'Shellock.' It is much more sophisticated."

With that, Lemmy continued walking down the hallway. Ludwig watched him go as he carried himself in a calculated manner. What was happening? Did Ludwig wander into one of Lemmy's fantasies?

"Lemmy…"

"MY NAME IS SHELLOCK!"

"Sorry, Shellock, but can you please explain to me what is going on?"

Lemmy puffed on the bubble pipe, causing the bubbles to spray into Ludwig's face.

"Of course, dear Watson. I have encountered the most perplexing of cases. A young girl named Rosetta Buttocks…." Lemmy snickered, causing Ludwig to roll his eyes. "Has gone missing ten years ago. This case has perplexed the detective industry for the last decade, as she vanished without a trace. However, I have every intention of finding her." Lemmy sighed. "I just need to figure out where to start."

Lemmy stroked his chin and started to brood. He didn't do it quietly either, so Ludwig had to listen to him going "hmm," on loop. Ludwig leaned down close to him.

"Uh, Lem...I mean, Shellock...has it ever occurred to you that this girl is fictitious?"

Lemmy burst into laughter.

"Oh, you're hilarious, Watson. But no. She is most definitely real. And I am going to prove it by looking her up on the internet!"

With that, Lemmy ran to Iggy's lab. Ludwig followed after him, if for no other reason than to see the chaos unfold. When they got there, Lemmy immediately jumped onto Iggy's computer and started searching up Rosetta Buttocks.

"Really, Shellock, I don't think you'll find anything."

"Oh Watson, don't be such a downer! This girl is definitely real, and I am definitely going to find her!"

Sure enough, when Lemmy looked her up, a picture of a red haired Koopa woman popped up on the screen. Ludwig stared at it in shock while Lemmy looked at him smugly.

"See, what did I tell you?" He chuckled. "Honestly, Watson, you need to have more faith in me."

Ludwig shook his head, trying to regain his bearings.

"Okay, great, so she's real. That doesn't mean that she's missing."

"Of course it does! I mean, look at those eyes of hers! Those are the eyes of a young girl screaming for someone to find her!"

Ludwig looked into the smiling eyes of Rosetta. She looked extremely happy, extremely sound.

"She's desperate, Watson; desperate!" Lemmy continued. "If we don't find her soon, then who knows what could happen to her!" He got up and gestured for Ludwig to follow him. "We are going to the place where she was last seen."

Ludwig, not knowing if letting his brother go out by himself was a good idea, followed.