Day 39
Cosima wakes to the click of the lock and soft footsteps on the ground, stretching slightly she chooses to ignore it. She is simply too comfortable, and tired, to be bothered. Delphine had been over for hours, before gently extricating herself from her arms and going home to bed. She cannot remember the last time she'd just made out with someone for hours. Cosima had forgotten how it felt. Forgotten how much tension her body could build from something simple.
"Are you awake?" Delphine's voice calls from somewhere near her doorway.
"Delphine?" Cosima blinks blearily. How long had she
slept? Not that long, Cosima thinks looking at the light shining around her curtains.
"I let myself in." Delphine speaks softly. "I wanted to see the kittens. I realized I forgot to visit them last night."
"It's… like 7am." Cosima pulls the comforter tightly around her.
"It's 8:30am." Delphine corrects her. "Are you...decent under there?" She can tell Delphine is eyeing her. Trying to decide if it is too much.
"Umm not really." Cosima admits. She thinks she's still wearing underwear, but she's not sure. She'd stripped down and collapsed into bed pretty shortly after Delphine had gone home.
"I'll… wait in the living room." Delphine tells her, stepping out of the bedroom again.
Cosima gets up and throws on her silk robe, just enough coverage. She decides. But easy enough to remove if Delphine changes her mind.
"Come on back." Might as well let her get a glimpse, Cosima figures.
"Just that…" Delphine's eyes widen as she takes her in. She cannot help but smile at the reaction. This is what Cosima longs to see. Delphine looking at her, cheeks flushing and slightly off balance.
"I'm covered." Cosima shrugs. "All the essentials."
"I guess so." Delphine responds, creeping towards the closet. She first admires the kittens, once again nursing from their amazingly patient mother.
"Hi Kiki." Cosima calls to the cat and moves to bring the cat fresh food and water, might as well make it easy on her. Kiki for her part, purrs almost unceasingly and seems perfectly content to be trapped.
When she returns, Delphine is crouched next to the felines, muttering to them softly while stroking their tiny little heads.
"Ils sont trop mignons." Delphine grins at her when she approaches. "Their eyes aren't even open yet, and they are adorable."
"They are very cute… do you want pancakes?" Cosima offers, moving to sit next to Delphine, letting the robe fall open just a little.
"I already ate." Delphine tells her. "I was up 40 minutes ago."
"So, do you want to talk about last night?" Cosima leans in, scratching Kiki absentmindedly behind the ears. Maybe having a cute cat family temporarily residing in her closet wasn't so bad at all.
"Our date?" Delphine smiles dopily at her, not the cats. The thought pleases Cosima.
"Yeah."
"Excellent food. Wonderful company." Delphine grins back at her.
"Good… and the rest of it?" Cosima hints. They'd never even made it to picking a movie. Maybe it was a bit embarrassing. Fancy takeout dinner and making out on the couch.
"The kissing?" Delphine responds with a slow smile.
"Yes, the kissing." It really had just been kissing, Cosima acknowledges. Despite her suggestions of making love, neither of them had pushed past that. Any arousal she felt, she'd acknowledged and let it sit. She was perfectly capable of taking care of her own needs after Delphine had left. Not that she wanted to draw attention to that.
"It was… good." Delphine giggles.
"And… did it turn you on?" Cosima thinks she knows the answer. But maybe hearing Delphine say it would help somehow.
"...Yes." Delphine gives her the desired response.
Cosima cannot resist leaning in for a soft kiss, Delphine returns the kiss easily, the tiny felines forgotten momentarily. She's delighting in Delphine's lips, Delphine's tongue when she feels a hand slip a few inches under her robe near her collarbone. Fingers stroke tentatively at her skin, and then again. It thrills for a minute but better to check in.
"What is it?" Delphine asks surprised, pulling her hand back. "Is something wrong?"
"Do you want to do more? Do you want me to take my robe off?" Cosima gestures to the tie. She tilts her head, looking intently at Delphine. Wondering what the response would be.
Delphine shakes her head. "Cosima, I am still bleeding."
"I told you, I don't care." Cosima shrugs again, her hands vying for Delphine's attention with their movements. "I… I am not trying to push you." Cosima clarifies. "You don't have to."
"I know. But… you're sitting there offering to expose yourself to me." Delphine sighs. "Like, you're showing off the menu."
"Umm kind of?" Cosima acknowledges. "I mean.. It's more like, so are you into this?"
"But why? Why not let things continue as they are?" Delphine wonders aloud. "I...I thought things were going well, for both of us."
"You put your hand under my robe." Cosima shrugs at her. "I am just...inviting it."
"I didn't mean to." Delphine tells her quickly. Rushing to get the words out.
"You can touch me." Cosima assures her. "I like being touched."
Delphine flushes further.
"Look at me." Cosima demands. "Last night your hands were tensing on my back, gripping at the back of my neck, at my hair."
Delphine swallows, looking her over. "I know."
"It's OK to touch me." Cosima tells her again. "There's no reason to be afraid."
"I am not afraid!" Delphine gestures at her. "But you have breasts! It's different."
"Yes, yes I do." Cosima shifts again. "Which I like having touched. FYI." She adds in a teasing tone. Knowing that this game is over for now. Knowing that Delphine definitely isn't ready.
"Merde." Delphine shakes her head. "What am I going to do with you?"
"We'll start with breakfast." Cosima sighs, ensuring her robe is tightly fastened before moving to her kitchen. "I am starving."
"Alright. Breakfast it is." Delphine agrees.
Day 40
"Let's watch a movie." Cosima invites after dinner. She'd managed to make things pretty fucking awkward after offering to remove her robe. Delphine had gone back to not kissing her, which definitely wasn't what she wanted.
"Alright." Delphine nods, moving to the couch. Cosima moves to perch beside her on the couch, one knee up. She doesn't move into Delphine's space, merely picks up the remote and starts looking to find them something to watch. Preferably something a little gay. But not too gay.
"Is this one OK?" Cosima offers the film, not wanting to push it. She'd read enough about this movie that she knows it's supposed to be well shot, though the subject matter might leave Delphine with ideas she does not want her to get.
"Professor Marston and the Wonder Women?" Delphine reads the synopsis before shrugging. "Why not."
"OK."
It's easy, easy to cuddle Delphine on her couch. Easy to enjoy how their bodies fit into each other, how Delphine already likes to grip her hand and play with her fingers.
"This is somewhat… homoerotic." Delphine realizes, partway through the film. But she doesn't ask to change it, and doesn't move away from Cosima.
"Yeah. But there is a dude there… it's a lot more queer or polyamorous than it is gay." Cosima speaks softly, not wanting to talk over the movie.
"Actually this is very well shot." Delphine remarks partway through a heated scene. "They could have made this much more… explicit. Instead, it focuses on the characters' experiences."
"Yeah. Yeah… it's very well done." Cosima agrees. "Bet it was directed by a woman. A man would have fucked this up and made it look like porn."
Delphine merely laughs, leaning back into her couch.
The movie finishes, she offers to get Delphine a drink and pours them both a glass of wine.
"Wine?" Cosima offers a glass. She wonders if she should heat up some veggie spring rolls or something. Some kind of snack to make inebriation less of a possibility. She doesn't want to fuck Delphine if she's drunk.
"Yes." Delphine takes the glass readily, taking a long swig. "It's good."
"Thoughts on the movie?"
"It was… different. Well done though." Delphine comments.
"Yeah. Absolutely." Cosima sighs. "I mean… I am not personally into the whole threesome thing but… it works for some people I guess."
"I cannot imagine." Delphine begins to giggle. "Way too many limbs."
"Yeah, and uncoordinated and trying not to fall out of too small bed." Cosima giggles. "Plus the barriers and the consent… and it's just… not worth the time. So much hassle for a lot of awkward."
"Cosima…" Delphine looks at her suddenly, comprehension dawning on her. "Have you had a threesome?"
"Umm yes. Once." Cosima nods, laughing, taking another swig of wine. "Like… seven years ago."
"Was it a relationship or just…?"
"Umm I had a friends with benefits thing going on with the girl. And the guy…. Well he was just… her other friend with benefits?" Cosima shrugs it out. "And we were all kind of baked. And there was alcohol involved..."
"With a man?" Delphine's eyes widen. "I thought you were a lesbian."
"No, I am a lesbian. Definitely. And yeah but… like…" Cosima's fingers twirl absently in the air. "He...he didn't penetrate me." She wonders if that really matters in the scheme of things. It had mattered to her inebriated 21 year old self, for whatever reason.
"So… what? Nevermind." Delphine shakes her head, cutting herself off. "I… I don't think I want to be able to picture it."
"It was just sex. Particularly awkward sex. Then it was over, and I got up, had some water, put my clothes on and left." Cosima tells her honestly. "It was a one time thing."
"OK." Delphine accepts it readily enough. "How many lovers have you had?"
Cosima deadpans. "More than three and less than 30." She doesn't need to answer that. Won't answer that. Doesn't want Delphine to know really, or get caught up on it. Not when it should not matter.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked." Delphine has the sense to apologize at least.
"Do you want to tell me how many lovers you've had?" Cosima tilts her head, probing Delphine. "Like, is it really that important to you?"
"Non. Not really. Just… you're very experienced, clearly." Delphine lets her words fall off.
"How many Delphine?" Cosima probes again. She doesn't really care to know, but it's only fair.
"Five." Delphine responds softly. "Just five."
"See? Awkward. Better not to ask those questions." Cosima nods along with her own words. Knowing that she's thoroughly proved her point, Cosima relaxes, sinking back into the dark red fabric.
"Have you been with a straight girl before?" Delphine tries another question.
"Uhh yes." Cosima nods. "Though I am fairly certain they weren't all exactly straight. Some ended up back that way though. Bicurious? Bisexual? Maybe."
"Was it hard for you?"
"Emotionally? Sometimes. Physically? Nope." Cosima grins. "Sex is easy. Like, it's way easier than dealing with emotions or expectations. It's just… bodies, you know? Well, most of the time."
Delphine is silent for what feels like a small eternity before responding. "I think I understand what you mean."
"Good." Cosima looks at Delphine. She knows now, it won't be that simple with Delphine. She wants her too much. Feels too much even just looking at her.
Delphine takes another long sip of wine, nearly emptying her glass. She bites her lip before continuing. "Do you want me tonight?"
"Umm, yes." Cosima responds readily. This...this is better than she was expecting. She takes a drink from her own glass, enjoying this. This was not the seduction she'd been expecting. But after all, they were both grown. There was no reason not to.
"I've been reading your smutty book. I… I borrowed it a day ago, without asking." Delphine admits softly.
"You have?" Cosima chuckles. "Well, what do you think?" That is something she wants to picture. Delphine, reading those words. Delphine flushed at the thought of the two of them taking the place of the characters. Delphine wanting her.
"Do you want me to do those things to you?" Delphine offers instead of answering her question.
Cosima falls silent, considering. "I think I want a second date." She decides finally. If she rushes this, she could completely ruin it. It… it's not the right time.
"Wasn't tonight our second date?" Delphine laughs, as if this were obvious.
"Fine!" Cosima agrees. "Then I want a third."
"When you could have what you want now?" Delphine's brow furrows. "Another glass or two of wine… and we could just...let it happen."
"I want better than that for you." Cosima swallows. "I want you sober. I want you… wanting me. No hesitation. No doubt." She also doesn't want to do it while Delphine is still likely trying not to picture her having a threesome.
Delphine bites her lip again. "What if I can't? Not like that?"
"Then we wait." Cosima tells her readily. She has never been good at delaying gratification, never really wanted to try to stifle her impulses. But something tells her, this is the best choice she can make.