Day 41
"Let's take a walk," Cosima announces in the middle of the day. They're barely picking at their lunch of leftovers on her small round table. Delphine supposedly doesn't have much to do today anyway and Cosima is content to procrastinate. Especially when that procrastination involves Delphine.
"Where can we actually go?" Delphine laughs at her. But she follows Cosima and gets to her feet, moves to retrieve her shoes from next to the doorway.
"Let's just walk." Cosima grabs her trench coat, slipping into her shoes. She waits in the hallways for Delphine to do the same. Delphine joins her and they move to call the elevator.
It's easy. So easy. Cosima looks over at Delphine, even under the fluorescent lights in the elevator the française is stunning. Her fixation with Delphine is getting worse if anything. Other words come to mind readily, but she doesn't want to go there. Not unless she's sure Delphine can love her back.
"So, where do you want to walk? We can go anywhere in the city. I have two masks in my purse if we want to take the subway somewhere else?"
"I don't know Toronto well." Delphine admits, "I was working remotely from Montréal before January."
"It's a great city." Cosima stretches. It's cold for April but she's enjoying the chance to get out.
"It is. Though I only knew the area near U of T. I didn't wander off much."
"If we could, I'd show you all my favourite places. Coffee shops. Restaurants. Bars. Clubs. Bookstores." Cosima pictures it, meeting Delphine in more normal times. Being able to take her out on dates, being able to have a normal courtship.
"Clubs?"
Cosima nods enthusiastically, hands still spinning. "Oh yeah. Few drinks with friends, dancing. I still partake. Or I go kind of high."
Delphine laughs. "I have not been clubbing since my undergraduate days. It was OK, I guess."
"What about with me?" Cosima offers, leaning into her space. "I could definitely show you a good time."
"A double-entendre?" Delphine raises one eyebrow.
"Wouldn't you like to know." She flirts instead of answering and Delphine softly takes her hand.
"Take me somewhere. Anywhere."
Cosima laughs and leads Delphine off on an adventure. What little they can have during Covid19 anyway.
Hand in hand they make their way back, tea in paper cups and the remnants of a rather delicious muffin in a paper bag.
"Worth it?"
"Definitely." Delphine agrees, sighing contentedly. "I needed to leave the apartment."
"Me too. Totally." Cosima nods.
They take the stairs back up, for extra exercise, and Cosima happily pulls Delphine who lets her lead her by the hand back to the apartment.
"What are we doing now?"
"Dancing." Cosima responds without hesitation.
"It's still daylight."
"Not that kind."
She throws off her shoes when she enters the apartment, flicking on her bluetooth speaker and a song she knows she can show off to.
Cosima begins to dance, fluid movements from her feet up to her gracefully arcing arms.
"Dance with me." Cosima demands, looking pointedly at Delphine. Looking at Delphine watching her, especially as she turns and moves her hips.
"I like watching you." Delphine tells her instead, settling herself down on the couch.
"Come on... Dance with me!" Cosima asks again, hands going to grip Delphine's guiding her through similar movements.
Delphine does, there is some gracefulness in her, unexpectedly with her long limbs and dancer's body.
"Did you use to dance?"
"Ballet when I was small, yes." Delphine nods. "Nothing since adolescence."
"Oooh." Cosima teases.
"I was never as good as you are… I don't even know what…"
"Modern dance?" Cosima suggests readily. "I don't know either but it feels good."
"It does," Delphine agrees, letting Cosima pull her in for a quick kiss, just tender pressing of lips.
"I have a surprise for you."
"What is it?"
"You'll see." Cosima singsongs. "But you'll have to wait until tomorrow."
"À demain, then." Delphine gathers her things to go.
"À demain." Cosima echoes. Maybe her French was improving at the very least.
Day 42
Almost ready, Cosima muses to herself. Almost, but not quite. She'd spent the morning with Delphine and promptly kicked her out around noon. She had to get ready. She had to get everything ready. Saturday or not.
"Cosima?" Delphine knocks at the door, obeying the instructions to not enter unannounced.
Cosima smooths her hands over her dress, it's dark red fabric slick under her fingers. She's kept her makeup to her typical kohl-inspired look but she's gone all out otherwise. Thigh highs. Heels. A home cooked meal she suspects Delphine will adore.
"It smells delicious from here." Delphine calls through the door. "Can I come in yet?"
"Alright." Cosima steps back and allows Delphine entry.
"What is that smell?" Delphine smiles, as she walks in, slim black heels clicking on the laminate floor.
"Mushroom risotto." Cosima responds with a ready smile. "I also made caesar salad. 100% homemade. Well, I followed recipes from the internet anyway. Sorry about the delay." Dinner sits, already plated on her small round table, two half glasses of wine already poured for them. She'd debated the wine, but ultimately thought it was better to offer it.
" No… the other one."
"Umm… incense?" She'd been smoking inside this morning, and needed to both ventilate the apartment and cover the smell. Her high had long worn off, but it had been blissful to just toke and not worry about what the hell was going on with Delphine for an hour. She'd sealed the cats off in the bedroom, and they didn't seem to be any worse off. Luckily.
"It's nice. Very you." Delphine grins, all in black today, a blouse and dress pants that she probably wears to work.
"Is it too much?" Cosima takes her seat, picking up a fork. She hadn't bothered with candles this time, but she'd dimmed the lights the same. Trying to recreate the magic of their first date. Trying to get them back on track.
"Non, this looks amazing. Worth the day you made me wait."
"I just… I wanted it to be perfect." Cosima admits, unable to stop herself from admiring Delphine. "You look incredible." But covered, Cosima acknowledges, sleeves as usual are down to Delphine's wrists covering them, and even the blouse was high.
"I wasn't sure what to wear honestly. You didn't give me instructions. I went for this."
Cosima smiles happily. "You're gorgeous. In anything."
"Are you trying to seduce me again?" Delphine teases.
"Very, very slowly." Cosima agrees. "Do you like risotto?"
"Yes, very much." Delphine excitedly digs into their supper. "C'est delicieux!" Delphine assures her with a quick smile.
"How was work?"
"It was long. I spent two and a half hours in a meeting with one of my advisors. He had a lot of opinions on my dissertation research."
"In a good way?"
"In a he might take over some of my research way." Delphine stabs a mushroom with a fork.
"Lousy." Cosima cannot contain a grimace.
"I'm sick of trying to please him. I'm a professional. I've worked in private practice for years! In three different countries and two continents. In two languages."
"You should tell him that. Call him out on his shit." Cosima was never afraid of offending people, even those in power over her. She is surprised to see hesitance on Delphine's face in response.
"He's one of my advisors. He thinks me working in a second language means I need more...handling. He's suggested I break quarantine and we have a private meeting at his house." Delphine grimaces. "I do not believe he has been adequately social distancing."
"Woah… he didn't like make a pass at you?"
"He might have. I've been ignoring it." Delphine admits between bites. "This salad is excellent."
"Change advisors." Cosima suggests readily. "You don't have to deal with his shit. In or out of his office."
"I can't. It's too late. My dissertation is already in progress. It looks good. I don't want to start all over."
"So stand your ground." Cosima continues eating. "Call him on his bullshit. Tell him you know what you're doing and you don't need his handling."
"I should. I did tell him we will be meeting remotely until the pandemic restrictions ease enough. I won't be breaking quarantine for this."
"So do it. Or I'll email for you." Cosima twists her fingers. "I'll add in something about appreciating keeping your relationship entirely professional."
"You can't do that! He is tenured and well-respected. He has a TED Talk!" Delphine blurts out putting down her fork.
"So? If he's being a creep does it matter how much he's published?"
"I guess not." Delphine takes a sip of her wine. "Anyway, how was your day?"
"Your friend emailed me back. It was good. I have no idea how to get access to case files or families though."
"You'll have to go back through Ethics." Delphine reminds her.
"I know. My advisor doesn't think I am going to get approval. But we'll see." Cosima shrugs.
"What if you worked with a speech language pathologist?" Delphine offers. "What if I sign my name to it?"
Cosima looks up from her dinner in surprise. "You'd do that?"
"Well, Ben would be better than me, he works with adults more often. But maybe I can get him to sign on too."
"How close are you and Ben?" Cosima asks softly. She wonders. They certainly seemed to be on very good terms.
"We're colleagues only. He's been married as long as I have known him. He's the father of three kids." Delphine laughs at her. "We are not and have never been involved. But I trust his judgement, professionally. And I enjoy working with him."
"Good." Cosima cannot help how that answer brightens her. "I look forward to working with him then."
"You should. He's funny too." Delphine laughs, enjoying her meal. Seeming lighter somehow.
"Do you want candles?"
"I don't need them."
"More wine?" Cosima offers at the end of dinner, noting that Delphine had only drank half or so of what she'd poured her. "It's… it's Ontario VQA, you like it? I hope?"
"Oh no, it was lovely. Very smooth." Delphine assures her. "I just… you said you wanted me sober."
"Sober for sex." Cosima clarifies. "Not like permanently." She's nicely buzzed herself, without overdoing it. The risotto is no doubt helping provide a needed barrier between her impulse control and total intoxication. The sort that would have her trying to straddle Delphine on the couch before dessert.
Delphine looks at her pointedly. "My period is over."
"Oh?" Cosima's eyebrows raise. She'd thought after their last conversation that they were waiting. Drawing things out. That was the smarter choice, she had thought. Date a little more. Wait until Delphine was more certain.
"I want you." Delphine tells her softly, determinedly. Delphine stands, and while she chews briefly on her lip her hands go to the buttons of her own shirt, she's undone three before Cosima stops her.
"Hey, slowly, OK?" Cosima stops her hands, leaning in for a soft kiss. And yeah, the cheesecake in her fridge might go to waste, but this is better, right?
"OK." Delphine agrees, kissing back, seemingly accepting Cosima's slower pace. Her own arousal is quickly becoming obvious but at least Delphine seems into it?
"I want you like crazy." Cosima finds herself muttering between kisses. "I'm going to be so gentle with you."
"You don't have to be." Delphine reminds her, fingers exploring dreadlocks again.
"I want to be. We're not going to do anything you don't want to do." Cosima stops to assure her. This has to be about Delphine.
"OK." Delphine leans in for another kiss, arms going around her. The kissing is easy, she pushes Delphine back against her couch cushions. Lets herself hover above her.
"Can I sit on your lap?" Cosima murmurs.
"Yes."
Cosima lets her dress ride up as she straddles Delphine's lap. She leans in for another kiss and another. Delphine's hands stick to her shoulders, but she knows that her thighs are partially exposed, knows that she's already feeling warm as she settles on Delphine's lap.
Delphine lets out a tiny whimper, and then her tongue is slipping into Cosima's mouth, stroking insistently.
"Fuck!" Cosima breathes, breaking the kiss as Delphine wanders her lips to her neck. Hands grip her more firmly now. Surely it's not too fast. She hopes. If Delphine were anyone else Cosima is certain she'd be riding her fingers in minutes.
She's unbuttoning Delphine's blouse between heated kisses when hands unexpectedly graze her waist. Delphine's hands feeling the curve of her hip is more thrilling than she'd anticipated and she moans readily. She catches sight of a black lacy bra and wants to groan again at the thought, Delphine had dressed for her. Delphine had planned to undress for her.
"You feel good." Delphine tells her softly. Another perfect kiss from clinging lips follows.
"I want to be as deep inside you as fucking possible." Cosima groans. She pulls off Delphine's blouse and is moving to lift her own dress over her head when soft hands find her wrists, delaying her.
"Do you have a…" Delphine trails off.
"Are you asking for a dildo right now? Or a condom?" Cosima laughs. She knows she shouldn't, knows she should try to contain her amusement but she can't. Maybe she was very slightly buzzed after all.
"I was… isn't that what...you do?" Delphine ignores the latter comment. Maybe for the best.
"Sometimes." Cosima acknowledges. "I mean we could order one. I threw out my drag one after your private show. It… it's old and it's definitely been in other people." As much as she enjoys toys, this request worries Cosima instantly. Needing an accessory to please Delphine concerns her. Sure, her smutty book had plenty of toy scenes, but that wasn't all there was.
"OK." Delphine nods.
"But I don't need one." Cosima clarifies. "I can fuck you with my body… I need to know that you want me."
"I do." Delphine assures her, pulling her in for another heated kiss. She tangled her fingers in dyed blonde curls, rocks her hips forward and groans when Delphine lets out another whimper. Delphine trembles at the firmer touch of her hands and it only excites her further.
Cosima is kissing down Delphine's arm to her wrist when she notices faint scarring as Delphine quickly pulls her arms away. Rather unexpected scarring, one thin white scar vertically on each wrist. She feels Delphine tense under her. She tries to recall ever getting a clear view of Delphine's wrists, but there were always sleeves, or jewelry as she recalls. Always obscured. Now she knows why.
"Hey, it's alright. Everybody is allowed to have a past." Cosima speaks softly. Not wanting to scare Delphine, or make her explain. This, Cosima acknowledges silently, could ruin things permanently if she's not careful. It's nothing she hasn't run into before, but never like this.
"You noticed." Delphine breathes. She cannot help but worry that Delphine will just get up and run. Cosima wonders if there's anything she could say to stop her.
"Yeah. We can talk about it later, or not." Cosima shrugs. She moves her body back up to hover over Delphine's.
"Do you want to stop?" Delphine offers. "I know… I know this changes things sometimes."
"No." Cosima answers smoothly, pulling her back in for another kiss. Lets her own tongue dart out and play with Delphine's. Delves in as much as she can. It makes her sad for a younger version of Delphine but she cannot let that overshadow the present. "I don't want to stop."
"You're so beautiful." Delphine tells her softly, unzipping her dress to her waist. Cosima stands and lets it fall off. She's carefully chosen her undergarments as well, and she watches Delphine's eyes drift down her body.
"How are you feeling?" Cosima asks. "Do you want to move this to my bed?" Having Delphine on the couch is a fantasy that can wait.
Delphine nods, and follows her to her bed, laying down quickly. Cosima shucks off her bra, but leaves her panties on, and clambers back on top of Delphine. She busies herself kissing swells of breast above bra cups, and tempting Delphine with deep kisses. She lets her hands roam, knowing that Delphine's arousal is increasing by the minute along with her own. She finally backs up, stretching as if to show off just a little. Trying to tempt Delphine's hands into play a little more.
"Je suis tellement excitée." Delphine tells her, stroking her face. In response, Cosima moves to remove Delphine's bra, Delphine's underwear, tossing them off to the side. Delphine's arousal is dripping from her, obvious. She takes off her glasses, and slips off her rings, putting them quickly onto her beside table. She wants this now.
"Me too. Obvs." Cosima grins, nuzzling Delphine for a moment before reclaiming her lips again. And it's easy, and maybe Delphine is a bit hesitant, but none of this is entirely unfamiliar. Even if Delphine opts to play pillow princess the whole time. It's worth it, Cosima decides.
Cosima is kissing down Delphine's stomach eagerly, quickly approaching groomed light brown curls when she is promptly stopped. Her mouth is literally watering at the thought but she knows she can't push Delphine. Not without ruining everything.
"Is something wrong?" Cosima asks, she doesn't want to push too far the first time. She has to be gentle. More tender than most. Better than any man.
"I don't let men go down on me." Delphine stops her with a hand covering herself.
"Umm why?" Cosima asks curiously. She assumes first that Delphine's male partners had either been total pussies about eating out or had been totally lousy.
"I don't want it. Use your hands." Delphine reiterates without explanation.
"Alright." Cosima shifts up, letting her fingers play against Delphine instead, gliding in her copious arousal. She can accept that, for now anyway.
"Tellement excitée..." Delphine sighs again, more to herself than to Cosima.
"You're so wet… so swollen." Cosima responds. "I just want to make you come."
Delphine yanks her back up to kiss and she moves with her readily, stroking before sliding one finger in, testing Delphine who seems to be enjoying herself at any rate.
"Like this?" Cosima offers, curling her finger gently. She quickly adds a second finger, begins stroking slowly into Delphine, watching to see what the blonde will react to most.
"Mmm." Delphine hums. "It feels good."
She's managed to kiss her way down to Delphine's breasts, begins sucking at one perfect nipple while she continues her movements. But something feels off when she looks into Delphine's hazel eyes. Something not quite right.
"Like this?" Cosima asks as she pulls out gently and begins rubbing gently instead. She's rewarded by more noises, by Delphine pushing into her. Delphine yanks her up to kiss, trying to keep their mouths pressed together as much as possible. A tongue tempts her own into play and strong hands grip her firmly, The scent of Delphine's arousal gets stronger and she moans happily. She moves with her, rocks with her, wanting everything now. She should be able to coax Delphine into letting her.
"I want you in my mouth. Oh God, Delphine… please. I can smell you and it's driving me crazy." Cosima begs, wondering if her desire, her pleading will make any difference.
"Non…" Delphine shakes her head. "Just like this."
Cosima continues the gentle glide of her fingers. Keeps kissing her, trying to please. It's easy. So easy. It won't take long, Cosima realizes from the desperate way Delphine is moving against her. If part of Delphine was still hesitant, it certainly wasn't her body.
"Cosima…" Delphine moans her name softly, "Cosima."
She applies a little more pressure and is rewarded by another perfect noise. "You're so sexy." Cosima sighs, enjoying learning Delphine's body. How could she have convinced herself she could wait longer for this?
Cosima is surprised by the brief gush of fluid spraying from Delphine. It makes her pause for a moment, wondering if this is done already. She begins to laugh, breaking their kiss, a large smile on her face. Delphine looks up at her, eyes wide.
"Oh my god! You're a squirter!" Cosima grins in delight. "You didn't tell me! I'm not even inside you… like wow. "
"Not again. I'm so sorry." But Delphine doesn't look nearly relaxed enough to have just had an orgasm, Cosima decides. Clearly they weren't done yet.
"Sorry? No. Give it to me Delphine. I want it." Cosima urges, moving to enter Delphine once again. "It's so hot!"
"Even if I ruin your bed? Or spray you? You won't want it then." Delphine shakes her head.
Cosima leans in, letting her fingers push and twist, trying to find whatever will bring Delphine the most enjoyment. "Please, please do… I want it. I want your pleasure. You can come all over me."
Delphine sighs. "It's so messy."
"Hey, everything is washable, OK? Including me." She stops, attempting tenderness. She kisses Delphine softly. She works Delphine more firmly, but becomes quickly aware that this is not working. A distinctly not-sexy tension in Delphine's body is inhibiting any pleasure.
"Can we stop? For a minute or two?" Delphine asks, pulling back and disengaging her body from Cosima's hand. She watches Delphine move herself out of the wet spot. Cosima panics briefly, this is not going the way she'd planned.
"But you didn't come yet." Cosima looks at Delphine, feeling sheepish and disappointed. She lays down on her side facing Delphine, wanting to stay as close as possible. Can she get Delphine back to where she was before? Should she try?
"No. I didn't." Delphine confirms.
"I'm sorry. I thought this would be better for you."
"It's me. I don't want to disappoint you, Cosima." Delphine tries to reassure her. "Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't."
"Fuck, I'm sorry." She had been too cocky, too sure of her prowess and now she's just a disappointment. Even if only briefly. Cosima knows she has no intentions of actually stopping. Her plan of making love for hours wasn't going anywhere.
"Non. You were fine." Delphine's kissing her, trying her best to reassure but it's not enough. How could she believe that right now?
"Do you want to try something different?" Cosima suggests, trying to be as seductive as possible.
"Like what?" Delphine looks at her quizzically.
"Like my mouth." Cosima offers as a last ditch attempt at getting Delphine to let her perform oral sex. Maybe she could get Delphine off that way. Maybe it'd be gentle enough to work through the sensitivity. Maybe if Delphine didn't have to watch herself ejaculate it would be easier somehow? Or maybe it wouldn't happen that way? It doesn't matter, Cosima decides. She just needs this to be better than this.
"I told you that I don't let men do that." Delphine pushes herself up on the bed.
"I'm not a man." Cosima argues softly. "Do you want to try that way? See if I can get you there? Or we could try my hand again? You can ask me for what you want, you know."
"I just wanted to make love with you. And… we did." Delphine tells her, arms wrapping back around her again. The words remind Cosima of before, how they softened Delphine in her arms.
"This is how I make love, Delphine. I want to make love to you with my mouth. I want you to let me." Cosima tries again.
Delphine shakes her head. "We just did. What about you?"
"We did, and I enjoyed every second of it." Cosima drops her voice to a low groan. "I want more of you. Please."
"OK. You can try it." Delphine agrees finally. And she works her way down slowly this time, trying to be a bit of a tease. Knowing she needs to keep on seducing.
She brushes her mouth over a soft tuft of hair, stroking her hands up over Delphine's body. She lets her tongue flick out, gathering arousal to taste. The first taste delights her, but it's not enough. She lets herself explore, she sucks softly and then stiffens her tongue sliding it into Delphine who shakes underneath her.
"Is this OK?" Cosima breaks contact to ask. "Does it feel good?"
Delphine nods, seemingly enjoying the sensations anyway. Tiny moans emerge from perfect lips as Cosima continues to lick and suck, flicking her tongue and watching Delphine fight not to respond.
"Have you done this before?" Cosima asks, but she doesn't get an answer, only a soft hand stroking her face as Delphine watches her curiously.
"This is how I make love, Delphine." Cosima groans again, kissing soft thighs. Letting her mouth inch its way back towards Delphine's sex.
She returns to her task, feeling hotter by the minute, she sneaks one hand down between her hips and the mattress, knowing she wants to come too. Come while she's doing this.
"You're so delicious. So beautiful. I cannot get enough." Cosima moans, and returns to humming and licking as she enthusiastically eats Delphine out.
"You… you're touching..." Delphine has figured out what she's doing, but she doesn't seem to mind, just makes more small noises, rocking her hips.
"Mmmhmmm." Cosima hums, refusing to break contact, needing this too badly. Her fingers quickly stroke her own clit, knowing she's so close to the edge she'll go over in minutes.
She comes quickly and taking only a moment, returns her mouth to insistent soft flicking. The tension she feels coming from Delphine now is more what she expected. Aroused. Desperate. On edge.
Finally, Delphine tightens, head tilting back, hips moving. Cosima hums happily, redoubling her gentle sucking and flicking.
There's a small noise of surprise followed by whimpering. Her mouth is flooded, but she keeps working her. Tongue and lips to perfect swollen flesh. Delphine cries, sobbing as her orgasm finally overtakes her. She watches her new lover shake on her back. Relief floods Cosima, she can please her.
"Wow." Cosima murmurs, breaking contact only to lick at a now too-sensitive Delphine.
"Cosima." Delphine is breathless, tears running down her beautiful face.
Cosima wipes off her face, settling down to hold Delphine. "You're amazing. That was amazing."
"You... you really wanted that." Delphine looks at her in wonderment.
"I did. I love it." Cosima smiles. She's likely convinced Delphine that cunnilingus is a must. Feeling rather satisfied she leans in for a kiss only for Delphine to hesitate to bridge the gap between their lips.
"I'm… exhausted." Delphine giggles. "You wore me out." Delphine moves over, out of the wet spot she'll deal with later. First, there is another thing she needs to do.
"Good." Cosima cuddles in close, gripping Delphine she begins to kiss her neck, gently stroking her hair.
"Again?" Delphine looks at her in surprise when she's started slowly flicking a nipple with her tongue.
"Yes…." Cosima moans, positioning herself on top of Delphine again. She enters Delphine haltingly with the same two fingers, still slick from her own body. She begins to move gently but firmly, intent on pushing Delphine over the edge again. Delphine's hands find purchase on her back as she begins to move again.
"Mon dieu…" Delphine exhales in a whine. But she kisses Cosima back, moves under her the way she'd expect. Surely this wasn't too much too soon.
" This is how I make love, Delphine." Cosima murmurs once again, taking her again.