Day 43
"Does it feel that risky?" Delphine asks. But it doesn't feel like Delphine is playing with her. It feels sincere. Like Delphine is assessing her too. And why shouldn't she?
"No." Cosima answers bluntly. Making love to Delphine had brought her a little bit more clarity. Delphine definitely enjoyed it, despite what Cosima could only assume were nerves. She'd made sure Delphine had enjoyed it, made sure Delphine had climaxed multiple times. And she wants more. So much more.
"Good." Delphine nods at her and moves to put away the dishes. Cosima approaches Delphine from behind, her intentions clear. When the blonde turns she leans in, but waits for Delphine to close the space between them.
She cannot resist. When Delphine begins softly kissing her after breakfast, Cosima cannot stop herself from pushing further. She pulls Delphine up to her, gripping her arms tightly as she slowly begins to pull the blonde back towards the bedroom
"Cosima…" Delphine breathes her name in between clinging kisses, reaching for her. She leaves their dishes on the table, doesn't care about morning breath or that later she'll have to scrub the plates. She just wants Delphine again.
"I want you…" Cosima moans, before leaning in to kiss her again.
"It's still daylight." Delphine giggles back at her between kisses. It doesn't take more than minutes to undress Delphine, she begins stroking her softly, looking into her eyes.
"So?" Cosima grins, pulling her in tighter. "Let's do it on your bed." Having sex with Delphine in daylight, being able to see everything excites her further and she moves them towards the bedroom quickly.
"Hang on a minute." Delphine excuses herself briefly and heads to her master bathroom.
"Umm Delphine, you're kind of leaving me hanging here." Cosima hollers after a few minutes of waiting for her new lover on the bed. Delphine eventually emerges with a couple towels, which she throws down on the bed, layering one on top of the other.
"Good plan." Cosima nods finally with a smirk.
"I… I don't want to make a huge mess." Delphine tells her.
"That's fine." Cosima nods. "Do you want me to take off my clothes or leave them on?"
"Take them off." Delphine tells her, pulling her shirt over her head. She hadn't bothered with a bra, but Delphine doesn't seem to mind, only lets her eyes glance down over her form. Cosima pulls off her own harem pants, but leaves the black cotton underwear in place.
She guides Delphine's hand to her breast again, encouraging Delphine to squeeze, to stroke. She groans when Delphine does.
"That feels so good." Cosima moans encouragingly. Delphine's strong fingers brush gently at her nipples, cupping her breasts. She finds herself staring at Delphine's hands, Delphine's face, watching the française touch her, watching her react to touching. A bite of the lip, a tiny whimper at the feel of a hardened nipple against her palm.
"Ooh." Delphine breathes, looking down at her, and leans in for another soft kiss that quickly turns passionate. Needy. She lets Delphine hover over her for a few blissful minutes, rocking hips and soft kissing.
Eventually her desire to push further is too strong, she rolls Delphine to her back, enjoying the breathless giggling that follows. She kisses down Delphine's lithe form, paying extra attention to pale pink nipples, to the crests of her hip bones as she descends.
The scent of arousal is overpowering once she's reached the small tuft of hair. Cosima nuzzles it, and begins again, intent on enjoying Delphine thoroughly this way. Needing exactly this. Enjoying the sweet musky taste of Delphine's arousal.
It's hard not to love her. Cosima thinks as she's enjoying how Delphine moans readily for her, and her nerves are less this time. There's less hesitation, more noises, and Delphine looks down at her, hazel eyes intensely focused on her own. Wanting to watch her do this, the thought thrills Cosima even more, she feels a weak throb from between her own legs.
"Ohh…. mon dieu, Cosima… Cosima…" Delphine runs at the mouth, clutching desperately at her dreads.
I'm already in love with you . Cosima thinks, swirling her tongue around a swollen clit. Delving into Delphine's hot swollen sex provides some relief to her, knowing she is pleasing her, knowing that this may bring them closer. Hoping it will, that Delphine will fall in love with her. That someday they may be more than just...lovers.
Delphine's hips move, gently at first, as if she's nervous. Her thighs tighten around Cosima's ears involuntarily and she pulls Cosima up.
"What? Did I hurt you? Or are you nervous?" Cosima rasps, kissing around Delphine's navel as she waits for a response.
"I...I don't want to… hump your face." Delphine explains, unable to stop herself from laughing at her own clumsy words.
She laughs back smiling, that is the least of her worries. Delphine wantonly rocking up into her mouth sounds more like a dream come true. "Move like you want. You won't hurt me." Cosima assures her.
"But you might get hurt. Or…." Delphine trails off and makes a small gesture of her own that Cosima can only assume references female ejaculation.
"I won't break Delphine… it's OK." Cosima whispers into her skin as she teases once again. She lets her fingers stroke up over her new lover's body, running up from knees to breasts and back again.
Cosima descends again, makes love to Delphine with every ounce of tenderness she can muster. Gives as much as she can. Fingers grip her dreads and hips rock up, she rocks her own hips pointlessly into the mattress. She wants Delphine, all over her, in her mouth, inside her, everywhere. Everything she can have.
Being this in love this fast is probably stupid, Cosima lets herself acknowledge. She hums happily into Delphine, savouring it when the blonde gushes her pleasure and trembles under her mouth. She swallows and continues to work her, wondering if the perfect noises she can hear, the little cries of pleasure, are enough. If Delphine needs more. She begins thrusting her tongue into Delphine, enjoying the hoarse moans that meet her ears with every thrust. Hips buck up into her face and she continues, eventually moving back up to Delphine's swollen clit, another rush of fluid meeting her eager mouth.,o9p00
She waits until Delphine's body sags back into the mattress, climax abating before crawling up her body, kissing all the way up to her sternum. Her love sits heavy in her chest as she looks down at Delphine.
"Cosima…" Delphine moans simply, opening her eyes. She's flushed and coated in a sheen of sweat from their efforts. Something inside her gives out, whatever notions of holding back feel suddenly inadequate for her feelings. She needs everything. Needs Delphine's love. She wants to tell her, wants to curl up beside her, kissing Delphine. Tell her she's falling in love. Tell her that this needs to be… more.
"You're amazing Delphine. I cannot get enough of you." Cosima says instead, she pauses to wipe her arousal coated face on the sheets. Her underwear stick to her drenched sex, proof of her desire for Delphine. She is tense and pulsing, longing for Delphine's fingers to fill her. But her underwear remain, hiding that part of her body until Delphine tells her she wants to see it. Or at least that was the plan. Maybe, maybe she should suggest removal.
"Tu va me tuer." Delphine breathes finally. "You are going to kill me, Cosima."
"Nope. Just pleasure. Seulement les petites mortes." Cosima quips, knowing that term at any rate.
"Many many little deaths at this rate." Delphine laughs. "But… what about you? Is it always like this with women?" Delphine puts her arms around her, pulling her into a cuddle, and it's enough for now at any rate.
"Like what?" Cosima asks, stroking back her fair hair. She lets her hips rock gently, pressing her breasts into Delphines, trying to work her up once again.
"Just...one way." Delphine explains. "I really… I thought you'd want me to touch you."
"Oh…" Cosima moans. This is it. What she had been waiting for. The moment she gets to watch Delphine touch, feel Delphine inside, enjoy Delphine's discovery of her body.
"But you won't even take off your underwear." Delphine continues letting her hand drift down Cosima's back to the small piece of cotton fabric covering her buttocks.
"I keep them on for you." Cosima tells her softly. "I don't want to pressure you. I told you, we wouldn't do anything you don't want to do."
"Why? Why wouldn't I?" Delphine seems confused.
"Because I'm a girl? Because it's new?" Cosima suggests. "I want you to ask, and then I'll take them off."
"I want to." Delphine tells her. "I need you to feel like this too. You told me you liked being touched."
"Need me to feel what?" Cosima wonders. Loved? Desired? Pleasured?
"You like being touched, Cosima… You probably like it more than I do. So let me do it." Delphine offers, hands reaching for her body.
"What do you mean I probably like it more than you do?" Cosima responds, concern filling her instantly. Was this… was this a huge mistake?
"No… Of course not." Delphine backtracks quickly, clearly panicked now. "You feel so good Cosima."
"Do you really mean that?" Cosima wonders aloud. "Like… if you don't like being touched, we probably shouldn't be having sex. Like, at all." She knows Delphine's pleasure, her orgasms were real. They weren't faked. But if something about it made Delphine uncomfortable then that was a huge problem. And she knows immediately, it's not one she can work through.
Delphine just looks back at her, increasingly confused. Her eyes wide and watering. "You… you don't want to have sex with me anymore?"
"Not if you don't enjoy it!" Cosima throws back, trying not to raise her voice. "I don't want to fuck a girl who isn't into it." But Delphine is, Cosima knows the arousal, the reactions cannot be faked. Knows that Delphine isn't faking orgasm either. So what is Delphine even on about?
The word seems to hit Delphine like a slap. It stuns her, but only for a moment.
"But I am!" Delphine protests loudly. "I am into it with you!"
Cosima shakes her head. "Show, don't tell."
"What else do you want from me?" Delphine asks, but she too is losing composure. Cosima eyes Delphine's face but finds only confusion staring back at her out of wounded hazel eyes.
"Tell me how you like to be touched. How you like to be fucked." Cosima urges her. Even though she suspects this is going to lead to her having to buy another dildo.
Delphine argues back. "I just had two orgasms."
"I know." Cosima responds. "What do you like? When you're not with me. What else would...do it for you?"
Delphine bites her lip, and it's a couple slow agonizing minutes before she responds. "Take off your underwear and get on my lap."
"No. I want this to be about you." Cosima shoots back. If Delphine isn't willing to be vulnerable, to want her… can this have a chance in hell of going anywhere? She could let Delphine touch her, but what good could that possibly do if Delphine isn't that into being touched? It's not like Delphine knew what she was doing, there'd have to be a lot of reciprocity.
"Then maybe you should go." Delphine tells her instead with a sigh. "Maybe… we should take some space. There's been a lot new between us. Give me… give me a few hours by myself."
"So first it's ' get naked' and now it's ' get out '?" Maybe the confusion is contagious. Cosima considers.
"Please." Delphine sighs, but she doesn't look happy with this either.
"Dinner tonight?" Cosima offers as she redresses, moving to leave.
"Non. Not tonight." Delphine swallows. "This… this is too confusing right now."
"Alright. Fine." Cosima agrees, she turns to leave, not looking back. She cannot look back, or she'll want to apologize. Want to give Delphine whatever she wants.
Soft knocking disturbs Cosima from her research. Her head lifts only to see Delphine open the door. She's laying on the couch and doesn't really move even when Delphine enters the apartment, stopping to lock the door behind her.
"Can we… cuddle?" Delphine asks from her spot near the door. It's vulnerable, and too much to be anything but simple in its intention.
"Of course." Cosima agrees, it's not like she's getting much done anyway. Thinking about anything but Delphine is increasingly difficult. Mostly how she'd fucked this up instead of taking off her underwear and getting fucked.
"Are you still angry?" Delphine asks as she settles herself on the sliver of couch next to Cosima's bare feet.
"No… I wasn't angry, Delphine. I was just… scared and frustrated. I didn't mean to raise my voice." Cosima apologizes. "I'm sorry."
Delphine curls around her body, spooning her from behind. Cosima feels her body relax, she pushes her coffee table away from the couch with one hand before settling back into Delphine's embrace.
"I am very into being touched by you." Delphine assures her with another soft kiss to her neck. "I don't understand… I don't know why you got angry. I didn't mean to insinuate I wasn't pleased."
"Yeah?"
"I get so wet when you touch me. When you kiss me." Delphine whispers.
"I know...It's fantastic." Cosima groans. Cosima pushes her hips back from her position on the couch and is delighted when Delphine grinds forward. Pushing into her.
"Oh mon dieu…" Delphine whimpers, pushing at her again. They aren't even undressed but their hips keep moving, pushing, holding. Desperately trying to wrought stimulation.
"This.. oh god… do that again." Cosima begs, and Delphine does, pressing forward, rocking her hips. They continue in nearly silence, her arousal increasing by the minute. She wants more, and thinks she knows how to get it.
"How does it make you feel?" Cosima asks, rubbing back with her ass again, Delphine's hand clutched to her sternum.
"So aroused." Delphine pushes into her, again and again. "If… If I could only get inside you. Rub against you."
"You can… but then we have to stop this." Cosima rocks back again and feels the pressure return.
"J'ai envie de toi, Cosima." Delphine breathes. "I want to be inside you. I want to push myself into you. Make love to you. Hold you."
Cosima lets herself groan. "More than you want to hump my ass?"
"I am not humping your ass." Delphine grumbles under her breath, but she rocks her hips again. Cosima whimpers in response, enjoying how her noises seem to excite Delphine further.
"Fine." Cosima reaches down and undoes her pants. "Do you want to take this off?"
"Yes." Delphine assures her, laying little kisses against her neck, continuing to rock, separating only enough to undress Cosima.
"You?" Cosima flips around, reaching for Delphine's shirt. But she's stopped by hands, she gets another glimpse of Delphine's scars, just barely covered by her sleeves but says nothing of it.
"Non… peut-être plus tard." Delphine smiles, and pulls her into a needy kiss, her tongue delving deeply, threatening to take Cosima's breath away. She moves to straddle Delphine, letting the blonde yank off her shirt, she unfastens her bra and lets it fall.
"Touch me." Cosima begs and is rewarded by enthusiastic lips and gentle hands fondling her. Soon the hands graze downwards, across her abdomen, settling on her hips. Cosima rocks her hips, knowing that even clothed Delphine must be aware of how aroused she is. Of how much she wants.
A soft hand tentatively finds its way between them, stroking at clearly aroused flesh.
"Cosima…" Delphine breathes, once again staring deeply into her eyes.
"Just touch me… it's… it's so easy Delphine, I promise." Cosima offers, rolling her hips again, feeling Delphine's perfect fingertips slide against her, providing much needed friction. She rocks, pushing her naked body into Delphine's clothed one. She lets herself be the bare one, the vulnerable one. Maybe that is all Delphine wanted, for it to feel fair. For Cosima to be vulnerable too.
"I don't want to disappoint you." Delphine murmurs softly between kisses, her fingers still oh-so-gently working Cosima's dripping sex. It's barely there, a terrible, wonderful tease against her sensitive flesh.
"You can't… it's not possible." Cosima whispers back. "Push inside me now." Delphine does, and they both moan together. It's enough, Cosima rides Delphine's fingers, moving her hips at a demanding pace. Delphine presses, she rocks and the simple innocence of it sends her reeling. It is more than enough. Delphine inside her, Delphine kissing her.
"Comme ça?" Delphine asks, speeding up her movements. She's clenching around her now, knowing that there's so much emotion pent up in this it won't take long. She just needs a little more.
"Yes… yes…" Cosima repeats in a low whine that seems to have Delphine fixating on her face. She's sure that she's hurting her, causing her wrist at least some discomfort, but Delphine doesn't complain. She keeps moving, keeps watching. She reaches down, deciding to help Delphine, touches herself in quick movements, feels her fingers collide with Delphine's hand, but neither of them stop moving.
Cosima lets go only when she's so close any movement could send her hurtling towards climax. She comes easily, orgasm washing easy pleasure over her body, she shakes, clutching desperately at Delphine, blunt nails digging into pale shoulders.
Cosima collapses onto Delphine, burying her flushed face in her neck. "Oh… oh Delphine."
"It was good?" Delphine asks, mildly concerned. "You were touching yourself again." Delphine gently pulls out of her, moving her rather wet hand back to Cosima's hip.
"Very." Cosima nods. "You felt so good inside me. And yeah…" She tries a sheepish smile. She doesn't want to offend Delphine, but she definitely wanted to come.
"What now?" Delphine looks up at her, hands softly stroking her hips.
"Come to bed with me." Cosima offers. She begins to undress Delphine, kissing her intently. Trying to tease her.
"You want me in your bed?" At this Delphine smiles. Cosima's hands readily going to undress the blonde. To remove the damn layers she cannot wait to get rid of.
"I want you in my bed, I want your skin on my skin. I want everything Delphine. And I want … I want to give you everything I can give you, even if it can't be everything you want." Cosima mumbles out the words. Everything Cosima wants, it can definitely be that.
"Who said you cannot give me what I want?" Delphine breathes the question, barely audible and Cosima finds herself kissing Delphine ravenously again as she quickly works small black buttons. She wants to devour her. Or maybe, to be devoured. To wait to talk things out a little longer, to let things be simple. Just a little bit longer.