Day 106
"So?" Cosima prompts Delphine. "We are finally on that patio." It had taken this long, but they'd made it through the winter and gotten outside… kind of.
"We are." Delphine stops to sip her iced tea. "It's… perfection." The tables are carefully spaced and the servers are masked, but it's… as close to normality as they've had in months. It feels almost perfect.
"It is." Cosima agrees, regarding her dining companion. Her love for Delphine, that has only grown stronger. That is perfect, more or less. It seemed to be working, whatever it was between them. They hadn't wanted to kill each other yet. And they still enjoyed each other.
"I mean we're still basically in lockdown. Just less locked down." Delphine admits.
"But it feels better. We can see people… outside anyway." Cosima tilts her head. "I can take my gorgeous girlfriend out for dinner and we can date." It's true, there are still restrictions, masks, social distancing measures. But right now she just wants to try to enjoy this as much as she can.
"We can. And we will do more. Maybe a walk or some hiking? » Delphine promises. "I do like being alone with you though."
"We can still be alone… speaking of being alone I spoke to the rescue this morning, Stratus and Cirrus have a new home, the fabulous brother-sister tabby pair will be going home to another pair of lesbians." Cosima laughs. "They're Zoom interviewing for who takes Cumulus and Nimbus, but Scott says there's a lot of interest in them. Even in Kiki and Fog. Even though I named him Fog." Cosima pauses to stick her tongue out playfully.
"Good." Delphine nods, "They are beautiful kittens. I want them to have good homes."
"So do I. And then I will be free of tiny cats." Cosima laughs, feeling lighthearted in the sun. She takes a sip of her caesar. "No more stepping on kittens, no more tripping over them or their shit, no more meowing at the crack of dawn."
"About that…"
"You want a cat?" Cosima isn't surprised. Not really she supposes. Delphine has become attached to Kiki and the kittens. Maybe they both have a little too much. They are cute and caretaking is supposed to bond you to helpless or semi-helpless creatures.
"I have a surprise for you." Delphine tells her.
"What is it?" Cosima asks, thinking she knows where this is going. Delphine did seem to like cats. And Delphine having a cat wasn't a deal breaker. Maybe she'd go to the SPCA and grab one.
"I am an interested adopter for Kiki… and Fog." Delphine admits with a smile. "I have been Facebook messaging the rescue for a while. I even filled out their forms. I've been approved."
"You are?" Cosima's eyes widen. Somehow she hadn't been expecting this. At least without Delphine telling her first.
"But they give you first refusal on Kiki as her foster parent." Delphine reminds her.
"And I have told Scott no. I'll tell the rescue too." Cosima reminds her.
"I need you to tell Scott yes . I want that cat." Delphine informs her directly. "I want those cats, and there is someone else interested. I need you to fix this before we lose them."
"Umm OK." Cosima nods, realizing that this was happening. "So I tell Scott, umm changed my mind, my girlfriend wants those cats?"
"Try my girlfriend and I want those cats. I'm already to order them new things so you can return your borrowed supplies to Scott. After the new ones arrive."
"So Kiki is moving exactly one apartment over." Cosima takes a breath and decides she's OK with it after all.
"Yes. And Fog, but I am renaming him Alphonse. Fog is a stupid name." Delphine tells her unapologetically as she glances around the patio.
"Kiki and Al." Cosima quips with a laugh. "Alright. So you'll have cats." That's nowhere near a dealbreaker.
"Oui… I have a proposition for you, Cosima. I want you to consider it." Delphine says simply, stopping to take a leisurely sip of red wine.
"What is it?"
"I want you to move in with me. My apartment is bigger. And, we could greatly reduce our rent costs if we cohabit. Additionally, we could save time, we'd only have to furnish and run one household. We could put the additional money towards a small car… I have an underground parking space sitting empty. And it is a pain getting around without a car right now." Delphine seems intent on spelling out the logic of the decision.
"Wow.. I thought you'd never wanted to cohabit." Cosima stops, letting the logical arguments sit for a minute. Delphine wanted her to move in. Less than six months in… Cosima pauses. It is doable certainly, but a bit fast.
"I didn't until now." Delphine acknowledges. "Until you, Cosima…"
"But what is this to you? Like it's only been… four or five months?" Cosima runs the numbers in her head. They haven't been together that long. It's probably not her best idea to rush in with the u haul. As much as she wants to. She can picture it, and it's nearly idyllic in her mind. Her and Delphine, living together.
"This… this is everything to me Cosima. I want to be with you forever . Je suis certaine." Delphine looks at her, looking absolutely resolute. And Cosima melts, believing her. The hell with caution.
"Forever, eh?" Cosima beams. "Yeah. yeah we'll do it. In the fall, if you still want to. Give us a little more time." Living with Delphine sounds pretty perfect.
Delphine looks at her intensely. "But what about the future?"
"What about it?" Cosima stretches out happily seated next to her girlfriend. "I assure you, I am into monogamy… so that is not a problem. At all." At least she thought she was. She'd had long term girlfriends before and never strayed. Surely Delphine wasn't worried about that. At least she hoped not.
"No… that I will… expect of you." Delphine tells her straightforwardly. "I want a monogamous relationship with you and if I cannot have that -"
Cosima jumps quickly to cut her off. "Not a problem. As I said, so what is it?" Their server takes this moment to drop off a couple appetizers on their table and then noting the content of their conversation, quickly moves away from them.
"Like…all the rest of it. I thought, well a part of me thought, I'd get married… have kids…" Delphine mirrors her posture. "But my fantasy of my life with a husband and kids never… never appealed in reality."
"Woah… woah… slow down, Cormier." Cosima laughs holding up her hands. "We literally just got together. A few months ago. We don't need to talk out our entire future vision." At least she hoped they didn't. Who wanted to plan a future in a pandemic after all? A life with Delphine, sure. The exact details… Why did they need to hash everything out now? Moving in was a big enough step.
"But… I want you. I want you more, I think." Delphine seems intent again. "We… we can still have a life together. And it's not like it was when we were growing up, we could even get married. I mean… we could have everything except children really." Delphine continues thoughtfully.
"Again. Woah." Cosima nods, she looks down at her food before continuing. Apparently this conversation was happening. This isn't something they should be talking about now. "But you know there are lesbians who have kids. An ex of mine has a baby with her wife that keeps popping up on my Facebook feed."
"One of your exes has a child?" Delphine's eyes narrow at her.
"Yeah. Don't any of yours?" Cosima tilts her head, looking back at her quizzically. "It's the age, right?"
"I don't know. I do not speak with my exes." Delphine says simply. "None of them. I don't think we have anything left to discuss."
"OK." Cosima shrugs. "But that's not important for us now. I mean… maybe someday? But it's not something I want to do right this minute." Way too much, Cosima thinks privately. But it can wait. A few years from now they could hash out the pros and cons if it was something Delphine was still in to.
"Alright. But you are not against it in the future?" Delphine clarifies.
"No. But… we'll see what happens I guess." Cosima shrugs. "I think moving in together is a big enough first step."
"Just cats for now." Delphine responds with a laugh. "The four of us will be very happy together."
"Yeah just Kiki and Fog… Umm I mean Alphonse." Cosima teases leaning across the table.
"Oui." Delphine grins back at her, helping herself to one of the appetizers. "Oh… this is delicious Cosima." She quickly holds up one of the pieces of bruschetta and brings it to Cosima's lips.
Cosima bites readily, letting the taste fill her senses. "Oh it is good!"
Day 161
"OK, Mom and Dad." Cosima adjusts the lights on her computer monitor. She sees her parents, no doubt holding a laptop, perched on unfamiliar furniture. She wonders where they are now, but doesn't doubt she'll have some kind of answer by the end of their conversation.
"Hi Cosima." They greet her pleasantly. As if it hadn't been months since they'd last spoke. "You're not in your apartment." Her mother realizes a couple minutes into their catch-up chitchat.
"Well… actually I am." Cosima glances around what is now their shared office space. They had started moving some of her stuff over as of mid-August, and it was almost complete now. Aside from the three boxes of things Cosima had decided to purge before moving. Even her storage bins from her storage locker had been combed over by herself and Delphine.
"You moved?" Gene looks his daughter over. "Well… it looks nice. But I thought Toronto was in lockdown."
"Sort of?" Cosima answers honestly, hearing Delphing giggle from just out of view. "It's varying restrictions based on case levels. But we are being careful." Summer, restrictions aside, had been pretty wonderful. They'd even managed to get out of the city in a rental car once. Though, they'd gone only to a beach and carefully kept their distance from everyone around them. It had been, better than she could have expected. The warm weather had eased things a little, and they ventured out together more and more often. It was good… really good.
"Is that a cat?" Sally comments, as Alphonse jumps onto the desk and begins preening. "Is that the surprise you have for us?"
"Well, part of it." Cosima nods. "So… you remember me mentioning my neighbour Delphine to you… oh four months ago when we last spoke?"
"Yes." Her father nods, drawing his hands through his greying hair.
"So this is Delphine." Cosima grins, pulling Delphine into the frame with one arm. The months had gone better than expected. So had Delphine's dissertation, her own was in an awkward holding pattern but she was slowly making progress thanks to Delphine's contacts.
"Hello Delphine." Her parents wave pleasantly and this immediately feels so much better than the call two weeks ago where she'd met Delphine's mother. That… that had been awkward, language proficiency issues aside. She supposed that Delphine's mother blamed her for 'turning Delphine gay' as if that was actually a thing. Maybe they'd get over it in time. Delphine's father had been informed on the phone, not making the time to Skype with them, despite being invited. But to Delphine's partners, their child having a female partner was knew. To Cosima's… it was old news, they wouldn't find that the more distracting part of the revelation..
"Hello!" Delphine greets them enthusiastically with a wave.
"I moved in with Delphine. We're living together now… I'll send you the new address. Everything's the same except the unit number." Cosima tells them calmly.
"Wow." Sally nods. "That's new." Whatever her mother had been expecting, it wasn't this. Cosima realizes suddenly. Maybe she should have made more of an effort to talk to them once a month or something.
"Definitely new. Good for you." Gene chimes in after looking at his wife for a long moment.
The rest of the conversation goes really well. They show her parents both cats, talk about the kittens, all but Alphonse now gone to their new homes. And she promises a virtual tour of the apartment at some later date. Whenever that ends up being. Between their work, and their fixation with each other, her parents would likely drop off the face of the earth for the next few weeks.
"That went well." Cosima breathes happily. She knows she's conveyed how serious she is about Delphine. Knows the Sally and Gene got the message, even if she didn't have to spell it out.
"I think so." Delphine responds. "I liked seeing them… they remind me of you."
"Well they did make me." Cosima points out. "Genetics and all. Plus all the lived experience together. Raised me, all that. Nature and nurture."
"They did. I will be certain to thank them for it later." Delphine teases. "It was nice… I wish we'd done this sooner."
Cosima just laughs and leans in to kiss her girlfriend on the cheek. This much had been wonderful. And leaving an apartment between them and Felix seems far better than the current awkward situation.
"I will miss my place. A little." Cosima admits. It had been her home for two years, but this was the right decision. She could feel it.
"Do you want to help me to pick out a new bedframe?"
"Are we ditching the floor bed?" Cosima asks, excitedly.
"I think we should… And your bed… well that's gone." Delphine shrugs.
It was true, her bed was old and from IKEA… it was easy enough to let go of.
"Alright. We'll sort through the kitchen stuff tomorrow, get rid of our duplicates and cut down on clutter." Cosima decides. She knows she has more stuff than Delphine. She'd had years in Toronto to accumulate it. And now must purge to make room.
"I thought we could go to bed first…" Delphine offers playfully. And her stomach flops pleasantly. The change in Delphine as her lover was undeniable. Months of practice had turned Delphine into an increasingly skilled and generous lover and it was blissful.
Cosima practically skips to the bedroom after her. "I guess this is all ours now."
"It is… we can get the last few boxes later." Delphine moves in to undress her and it is easy, so easy to let go. To let Delphine undress her slowly as she strokes her body, tasting her flesh, running her hands over sensitive nipples and down to her thighs.
"Oh god…. Delphine." Cosima whimpers at the touch of Delphine's mouth, at the push of Delphine's fingers. And she comes undone on the bed too quickly for her liking. A soft tongue still flicking at her in hopes of a second climax. In fact, she hadn't managed to top Delphine in days. Even then it was brief and Delphine would redirect her attention to Cosima. To Cosima's arousal. It was too easy to flip things on her. But it was beginning to be a weird pattern. And she'd have to try to rectify it soon.
"Mmmm." Delphine hums popping up from between her legs. "Tu es délicieuses, mon amour."
"You always say that." Cosima teases, going to finish undressing Delphine who lets her without complaint.
"It is always true." Delphine points out. "I… I am very satisfied. We… we don't need to do anything else."
"But… I want to." Cosima points out. "I want you… and you've been… kind of distant that way lately."
"Sorry." The française apologizes. "I've been distracted. Between moving, and meeting the parents… it's… a lot."
"Too much?" Cosima shifts onto her side, resting her head against her hand.
"Non… just a lot." Delphine sighs. "And with me… it is always so messy. And I can just have you… and I am just as satisfied."
"Delphine, I know your couch is expensive…and your bed is new... but I still want to have you. I want to touch you. I don't care that it's messy." Cosima tells her girlfriend for what is probably the dozenth time. "I love you… I love this. All of it."
"And you can have me." Delphine moves to tell her quickly. "If you want me… you can have me."
And it's enough, Cosima sighs, working her way down her lover's body. She works Delphine gently with a soft mouth, not pushing too far. Just enjoying her, teasing until whimpers turn to hoarse cries and Delphine comes gushing into her mouth.
"Wow." Cosima grins. "You know, I think we need to get back to our daily cunnilingus."
"Cosima…" Delphine laughs sitting up, she pulls the brunette into her arms, kissing her soundly.
"Is it… is it because I kept using toys?" Cosima wonders if that what has shifted.
"Maybe…" Delphine bites her lip. "I ...I don't always find that comfortable. Sometimes… I want you, but I don't want you in. Or I would rather…"
"You want our bodies." Cosima has realized this before. "I can cool it on the strap-ons for a while… I already know too close to your period and deep penetration is a no."
"Just… sometimes no matter what I try it doesn't feel good." Delphine admits. "I know...it's strange."
"No it's not. It's your body." Cosima leans in to lay a kiss against Delphine's belly and then again on her sternum. "It's okay to want it sometimes and then, not at others. I can adapt… I can work with it. I just… I want to be able to touch you."
"Even though your smutty book is loaded with toy scenes?" Delphine raises one eyebrow at her.
"It's fiction Delphine. Fantasy fodder. It's not reality." She laughs. "I want you. And if you just want it like this? Then this is what we'll do."
"It's that easy?"
"It's that easy, my love." She moves to assure Delphine and turns surprisingly amorous again. She needs to have her. Needs to show her how much she wants.