AN: Hey, guys, hope you're all staying safe out there…

The last Christmas chapter, wrapping up the holidays. Also lots of Raven/Clarke interaction, and Clarke makes a big decision…

Chapter title from "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas". I think the version I'm thinking of is the one with Johnny Mathis, but there seems to be a lot of them

17

With Candy Canes and Silver Lanes Aglow

Despite the fact that her limbs feel like they weigh about a hundred pounds each and her mind is fuzzy, Clarke just cannot sleep.

When Bellamy rolls away from her and onto his back, his deep, even breathing indicating that he's sound asleep, she quietly slips out of bed. She pulls on a robe hanging on the bathroom door before leaving the room, closing the door slowly behind her.

The apartment is dark, the only light coming from the Christmas tree in the corner, the streetlights outside and the buildings across the water. She goes into the kitchen and pours some milk into a mug before popping it into the microwave. Maybe some warm milk can help her sleep.

She opens the microwave door a second before it beeps, not wanting to risk the sound waking up anyone else, and brings the mug with her to the couch. Bastet is curled up in one corner, and she sits down next to the cat.

"There you are," she says quietly, running a hand over the soft fur. "Where have you been hiding all day, huh?"

The last time she saw the cat, she dashed out from under the couch just after Wells and Sasha arrived.

"Under our bed," Raven's voice comes from the kitchen, making her jump a little, despite her friend keeping it low. "She shot out from there when we came into the room."

"What are you doing up?" Clarke asks, getting up from the couch and moving over to the breakfast bar where she leans her elbows against the cool wood.

Her friend shrugs and opens the fridge, pulling out a carton of Chinese food. "Wanted a late night snack," she says as she dumps the content onto a plate and opens the microwave.

"I thought you weren't hungry," Clarke notes.

Raven turns, leaning back against the counter next to the microwave, and smirks. "I wasn't, now I am. Burned a bunch of calories, so."

Clarke sighs. "I did not need to know that."

"Oh, please," Raven snorts. "Don't think we didn't hear the two of you earlier."

She feels heat rise up her throat. "Oh God."

"Relax, babe," Raven tells her, grabbing the warmed up food and rounding the breakfast bar. "You know this stuff doesn't bother me, I'm just glad you've obviously found a guy who knows what he's doing. Twice, huh?"

Clarke buries her face in her hands for a moment. "Any way we can not talk about this?"

Raven laughs quietly as she sits down on the couch, and Clarke joins her.

"Fine. What are you doing up anyway? You're really having trouble sleeping?"

She nods. "Yeah. I mean, I am so tired, but it's like my brain just won't shut off. As soon as I relax even just a little, the thoughts start churning…"

Raven hums as she chews. "All because of the whole no secrets thing?"

Clarke shrugs. "I think so. It feels like all I do these days is lie to him, and I hate it. When I have a Transfer and he's home, I say I'm meeting you, when we were talking about Wells, I told him we dated back in high school, even when I told him about our Christmas traditions, I lied and said I had an ancestor from Sweden to explain that part."

Raven rubs her back. "I know it sucks. You need to do something about it, this won't hold in the long run."

"I know."

They sit in silence for a while, Raven eating her food and Clarke sipping her warm milk.

"I know that there isn't but…" Clarke starts eventually, "do you think there's a way to… trick the Number?"

She keeps her eyes on her hands wrapped around the mug, avoiding Raven's scrutinizing look.

"No," her friend finally says. "You've heard the same stories I have, babe – people locking themselves up, not leaving the room, not interacting with anyone, not even eating or drinking anything for fear of choking or something… it's always pointless."

She has heard those stories, of course. But still…

"I can look into it, if you want," Raven offers after another silent moment. "I didn't, with Finn, for several reasons… but there's a lot of information out there, these days. If there's anything to find, I'll find it."

Clarke reaches out to squeeze Raven's hand. "Thank you."

She nods, teeth worrying her lip a little. "Just… don't get your hopes up?"

"No, I know, I won't," Clarke assures her, pausing before somewhat switching the subject. "Have you ever thought about telling someone?"

Raven's eyebrows shoot up. "You know I have."

"No, not the Soul Keeper thing. I meant telling someone that they, you know… that they're dying. As in soon, not at some point in the distant future."

Raven watches her intently as she finishes the last bite on her plate.

"I have," she then says. "And I did, actually."

"You did? What happened?" Why doesn't she know this? She thought they told each other big things like this.

Raven moves over on the couch so she's facing Clarke and pulls her knees to her chest. "Remember Chicago in the seventies? I was working at that charity that helped kids with parents in prison?"

Clarke nods to show that she does.

"There was this little boy, his dad was in jail but his mom was, like, a supermom, she was working two jobs, making sure her kids were clothed and fed, that they worked hard in school… I met his older sister first, she was thirteen. Had over seventy years to live. But the first time she brought her little brother… he was just ten, and only had two years left. I mean, I had, like, a hundred and fifty years of experience by then, there wasn't a lot that got to me, but this kid… he had so much energy, he was so alive… he dreamed of becoming a lawyer to help other kids' dads stay out of prison…"

She trails off and Clarke can see that even now, more than forty years later, the memory affects her. She reaches out to squeeze her hand, and Raven smiles.

"So what did you do?"

"Well, I was there for a while, got to know his mom, we became sort of friends… I think you might have met her, actually, not that I expect you to remember that. When I was being relocated, Ty, that was his name, had just turned twelve and had three months to live. I knew pretty much everything about him and his family by then. I knew the one thing in the world he wanted more than anything – apart from his dad getting out of prison which wasn't going to happen since he was guilty of the crime he was convicted for and wasn't getting parole for at least thirty years – was to see Kareem Abdul-Jabbar play for the Lakers. He loved basketball.

So a few days before I was leaving, I sat his mom down and told her everything. I honestly had no idea if she believed me at the time… I gave her three plane tickets, return trip to LA, for her and the kids, as well as VIP tickets to a game with special backstage access to meet the players. I had booked a hotel room for them too. I didn't see her again before I left, but I got to say goodbye to Ty and his sister. I called the hotel after, to ask if they had checked in, and they had. I got a letter from his mom a few months later, after he had passed, where she thanked me for telling her. She sent me a picture of Ty on Kareem's shoulders, his whole face one big smile…"

She lets out a deep sigh.

"You did a good thing," Clarke tells her.

"No, I know that," Raven replies. "It just… it sucks, you know, that we can't do that for everyone. I don't know about you, but when I meet someone, even just in passing on the street, who only has a few months or years to live, especially if it's someone young, I just want to grab them and tell them to do what they want, not put off all their dreams for later, because they might not get a later."

Clarke completely understands that, her thoughts going to the teenage girl she passed in the park the day she and Bellamy first met.

"I know what you mean."

"But this?" Raven waits until she looks up. "This is different."

"You think I should tell him."

"I can't tell you what to do, but if it was me, I would."

Clarke considers that for a moment.

"Did Finn know?" she then asks. "Did you tell him when he…?"

Raven shakes her head. "Not for a long time. After I told him about the Soul Keeper thing, he actually asked me not to say anything about it. He said he didn't want to live his life just waiting to die, or something. But at the end… I think he noticed that I was acting strange, and he actually asked me outright. So he knew."

Silence stretches between them again, each of them lost in their own thoughts.

"I asked him," Clarke starts after a long moment. "The other day, I asked Bellamy what he would do if he only had six months to live."

"Whoa." Raven's eyes widen. "What'd he say?"

"Well, at first he was like, I don't have any money, I still have to live so I can't stop working. So he said he'd just spend as much time as possible with his friends… me… probably drop out of school."

"Standard answer."

"Yeah. So I pushed, said that if money wasn't an issue, you won the lottery, then what? And he said he'd want to travel, go to Italy and Greece, all the places he's read about… and the thing is, he could. I could do that for him, I have more than enough money for it…"

"You want to try to convince him to just take six months off and travel the world with you?"

"I don't know, I really don't think he'd go for that, not with me paying for everything. Not without a reason."

"And if you tell him the truth?"

Clarke leans her head back against the couch and stares up at the ceiling. "I honestly don't know. Now do you see why I'm not sleeping?"

"I feel you, babe," Raven says, and a moment later Clarke feels her head come down on her shoulder. "I think you should just tell him everything."

"Yeah?"

She wonders if that's what she actually wanted to hear, because she feels lighter, somehow.

"Yeah. You're not going to make it another seven months with him not telling him, this secret is killing you. Metaphorically speaking, of course. And I know there's absolutely no way you're walking away from him."

Clarke lets out a humorless laugh at that.

"I think you're right."

"I'm always right. It's nothing new."

They sit in silence for a long moment, Clarke watching the lights twinkling on the other side of East River without really seeing them.

"He'd want to make things right with his sister too," she says eventually.

"They had a falling out, right? Also pretty standard, making amends or whatever."

She hasn't actually told Raven what Bellamy said about Octavia, since it's not her story to tell, but her friend isn't stupid. "Yeah. He hasn't talked to her for over seven years. Doesn't even know where she is."

"Ouch."

"I've found her."

Raven sits up straight so she can look at her. "You have?"

Clarke shrugs. "It wasn't even hard, actually. She's on Facebook, her name's not exactly common… she's in Dublin."

"Huh. That could play into your hands, what with the whole travel thing."

She considers that for a moment, realizing that Raven is – again – right.

"I guess so. If he does agree to the trip, I can just surprise him with his sister, and if he doesn't, I can tell him I know where she is and we can hopefully plan to at least go see her, then I can just… tell him we're not going home until we've been to every single place he wants to go. You know, assuming he doesn't run the other way when I tell him I've been lying to him."

Raven ignores the last bit. "So basically kidnap him?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Good plan. So when are you going to tell him? Right away? Not now, obviously, but tomorrow?"

Clarke immediately shakes her head. "I don't want to ruin the holidays for him… maybe after New Years?"

"Probably a good idea," Raven agrees. "Just don't wait too long, he might need some time to get used to the whole thing, and with the travel plans and all… the clock is ticking."

"I know… hey, how did you tell Finn? Or Wick?"

"Well, in both those cases, we had been together, or at least known each other, for six or seven years by the time I told them," Raven says. "So it probably wasn't that much of a stretch to believe."

"Yeah, that's not going to be any help for me."

"No… you have photos, though, right?"

Clarke nods. "Yeah, but these days, anyone with a computer and basic Photoshop skills can fake photos."

"Hmm… do you have any Transfers coming up that'll be out in the open?"

"You want me to take him to a Transfer?" Clarke asks incredulously.

Raven shrugs. "Desperate times call for desperate measures. I'm not saying start with that, but if he really doesn't believe you. So anything that might work?"

Her phone's still on the nightstand in the bedroom. "I don't know, I'll check in the morning. But that's an absolute last resort."

"I can be there if you think it'll help," Raven offers. "And Zeke. Strength in numbers?"

Clarke squeezes her hand. "I'll think about it."

"So are you good? Worked through everything?"

Clarke considers the question for a moment. "I think so."

"Good. Then you need to sleep, because in eight hours or so, I am going to be dragging your ass out of bed."

She laughs but lets Raven pull her up from the couch and along towards the bedrooms. Outside the doors, she pulls her friend into a hug.

"Thank you."

Raven hugs her back tightly for a moment. "Always, you know that."

With a final squeeze of her friend's hand, Clarke sneaks back into the bedroom. Bellamy hasn't moved from the spot she left him in and she quietly slips between the sheets again, scooting over so she can curl up against him, tucking her head in underneath his chin. He turns towards her in his sleep, one arm coming around her, and lets out a sigh.

Clarke's asleep within minutes.

-100-

Despite Raven's promise (threat), Clarke wakes up all on her own the next morning. It's already light in the room, and Bellamy's side of the bed is empty. She stretches leisurely for a moment, relishing the feeling of being well rested for the first time in a week, before throwing the comforter off and getting up.

She's already picked out today's outfit, so she pulls on a pair of panties and puts on a strapless bra before stepping into the soft, black leggings and taking the gold knitted sweater dress off the hanger. It has a bardot neckline with a slight V that emphasizes her collar bones. She completes the ensemble with a red belt at the waist and a matching set of earrings and necklace shaped like snowflakes.

When she opens the bedroom door, she's hit with the smell of breakfast – eggs, bacon, pancakes… she makes her way into the kitchen, where Bellamy is cutting up fruit and Raven is laying the finished bacon on a plate. Zeke is setting the dining table on the other side of the breakfast bar.

"Why didn't anybody wake me?" Clarke asks when nobody notices her.

They all look up, a smile spreading on Bellamy's face and a smirk on Raven's.

"Morning, Princess," he says. "Did you sleep OK?"

"I slept great," she replies, joining him at the counter and reaching up for a morning kiss.

"I wanted to wake you up," Raven pipes in behind them. "But he wouldn't let me."

"She needed to sleep," he defends himself. "You actually looked peaceful when I got up, I didn't want to disturb you."

"I did need to sleep, so thank you for keeping Raven away."

"If you hadn't gotten up by the time breakfast was done, I probably wouldn't have been able to stop her," he admits, and Clarke laughs.

"Definitely not," Raven agrees. "You have perfect timing, actually, because breakfast is done."

They all grab something off the counter and settle in at the dining table.

"Seriously, how none of you weigh three hundred pounds is beyond me," Bellamy says as Raven starts loading her plate with pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon.

"Good metabolism," she replies with a smirk.

"Plus we spend, like, an hour a day in the gym in our building," Zeke adds, passing the bacon to Clarke.

"Yes, thank God for that place, I would never have the energy to actually go outside to find a gym," Raven says.

"And it's not like we eat this way every day," Clarke notes. "Back to normal on Thursday."

"Don't remind me," Raven complains. "I wish it could be Christmas every day."

"No you don't," Clarke retorts. "Because then you really would weigh three hundred pounds."

That makes them all laugh, and they continue eating, occasionally launching into some other topic.

They've just put away the leftovers and loaded the dishwasher when the doorbell rings.

"Present time!" Raven exclaims as Clarke goes to let Wells and Sasha in.

"Hey guys," she greets them, accepting a hug from Sasha.

"Morning," Wells replies. "So how did it go last night, did you manage to get your mind off your present?"

Clarke just stares at him for a moment, before she realizes what he means. Sasha starts laughing.

"He did say you'd be able to forget it," she notes.

"Yeah, yeah," Clarke grumbles. "But now that you've reminded me, I really need to know what that thing is!"

"Then let's get this show on the road," Wells suggests, ushering the women into the living room ahead of him. "Morning, all."

A chorus of 'morning' meets them.

Wells and Sasha settle down on the couch with the others, and Clarke reclaims her spot by the Christmas tree to continue her duty of present distributor.

"OK," she says, reaching for the closest box under the tree. "For Zeke from Wells."

She throws the box to Zeke, who catches it easily, and grabs another one.

Soon enough, all the presents from under the tree have made their way across the room to their respective recipients, and Clarke gets to her feet again.

The present opening and subsequent tossing of crumpled up wrapping paper brings Bastet out from her hiding spot, and Bellamy plays with her, throwing paper balls for her to chase in every direction. After a while, to Clarke's surprise, the cat jumps onto the couch and stretches out in the small space between her own leg and Bellamy's, seemingly falling asleep.

Clarke deliberately saves the other part of Wells and Sasha's present for last, wanting to draw out the excitement, but soon, her other presents have been opened – a beautiful bracelet from Bellamy that she's sure was much too expensive, a pretty dress and another mug for her collection from Raven (with a sad looking T-rex and the text If you're happy and you know it… oh…), and the box set of a book series that she's been meaning to read from Zeke.

She finally picks up the big green box and weighs it in her hands. It's not too heavy, but definitely heavier than a perfume gift box, which is what it brings to mind.

"Just open it!" Raven exclaims, and Clarke looks up to realize that everyone else has finished opening their presents and are watching her.

"Fine, fine," she agrees, sticking her finger under the taped down flap on one edge. Inside is a black box with the image of a bulky pen on the front. "3Doodler Pro…" she reads on the label.

"We thought it was about time you made your art three-dimensional," Wells says with a smile and Clarke's mouth drops open.

"It's a 3D pen?"

Sasha laughs. "Yup. And those sticks you opened last night are the things you load it with. There are four more packages of those in the box, but we wrapped one individually, hoping you would open that first and get really confused."

"Evil," Clarke tells her, but she's still smiling as she opens the box and peeks inside. "This is amazing, thanks you guys."

Bellamy leans over Bastet to be able to see, too. "So you can just… draw in air?"

"Here," Wells says, handing over his phone, which is open to a video on YouTube. "This is how it works."

Clarke takes the phone and they watch as people draw everything from a basic square to a working pair of scissors and a model airplane that actually flies.

"Yeah, that is seriously cool," Bellamy says when the video finishes. "But it might take you some time to get the hang of it."

"Oh yeah," she agrees, taking the pen out of the box and turning it over in her hand.

"How about you play with that later?" Raven suggests. "I still haven't gotten to pick a movie!"

So Clarke reluctantly puts the pen back and closes the box up, putting it away on the dining table so she won't be tempted.

Meanwhile, Raven is flipping through Netflix, and when Clarke slumps down on the couch again, curling up next to Bellamy, the opening credits of Die Hard are playing.

"Did you like your present?" she asks him quietly.

"I loved it," he replies with a smile. "How did you even know that was the book? And how did you find it?"

When they had dinner with Miller and Jackson a week and a half ago, Clarke managed to ask Miller if he knew which book that Bellamy's mom had read to him as a child, while he was in the bathroom. Miller had showed her the dog-eared copy in Bellamy's book case, the cover barely sticking to the book anymore and a couple of pages missing. She wrote down the title and author, and managed to find a first edition copy at a used book store online. It arrived just two days ago.

"I might have had some help," she admits. "I asked Miller."

A look of realization spreads on his face. "So that's what you two were whispering about when I got back from the bathroom?"

Clarke just shrugs. "I'm glad you liked it."

He leans in for a soft but quick kiss. "It was perfect. And how about you? I mean, I know I obviously can't compete with that awesome pen, but…"

"I love it," she assures him, raising her hand to look at the bracelet that glitters against her wrist. "But it's too much, really."

"Come on, you can't tell me that book was cheap," Bellamy says. "And it's just silver, it's not that expensive."

The book hadn't been cheap, but she knows that she can afford it.

She doesn't want to argue about it, though, especially not today.

"Well, I love it either way," she says, turning around a little so she can see the TV and leaning back against his chest. His arms come around her, pulling her closer, and he leans his head on top of hers.

"I'm glad."

After Raven, it's Wells turn to pick a movie, and as usual, he goes for How the Grinch Stole Christmas. About fifteen minutes into the movie, Zeke makes his excuses about needing to check in with the community center and leaves. Clarke watches Bellamy closely, but he doesn't seem to question it. And why would he? He doesn't know that everyone in the room has a sort of secret life that he knows nothing about.

With Wells' movie, they've come full circle, and it's Clarke's turn again. As Wells hands over the remote, Raven gets to her feet.

"We all know what you're going to pick, so I'm getting started on dinner," she announces, heading into the kitchen.

"Do you want help?" Bellamy calls after her, but she shakes her head.

"Wells will help me, right Wells? You don't want to watch this one either."

Wells seems to hesitate for a moment, probably because the movie is also one of Sasha's favorites. She rolls her eyes at him, though. "Go, it's better you make yourself useful than spend the next two hours grumbling next to me."

"What on earth are we watching?" Bellamy asks incredulously as Wells joins Raven in the kitchen.

In response, Clarke clicks to start the movie.

"The Holiday?" Bellamy says. "What's so bad about it?"

"Nothing," Raven calls from the kitchen. "But we've had to watch it every Christmas for the last few years, so we're kind of sick of it by now."

Bellamy shrugs. "Well, I like Jack Black, so I like it."

Sasha lets out a sigh at his words. "Perfect boyfriend, right there."

He ducks his head at the praise.

"Hey!" Wells indignant voice comes from the kitchen.

"Sorry, babe," Sasha tells him. "You know I love you, but it's true."

By the time the movie's over, Zeke's back and it's time for dinner.

"It's a good thing you have a big dining table," Wells notes as they gather around it, the entire surface filled with bowls and platters of food, plates, glasses and cutlery, and a couple of bottles of wine.

"Why do you think I got it?" she asks him with a smirk. "I knew you lot would invade at every opportunity… and everyone's not even here."

"Thank God," Raven adds. "There is absolutely no more room at this table.

The table is technically supposed to seat twelve, so there are empty chairs, but no, there isn't space for a single more person today.

Clarke's not sure exactly how, considering Jasper's not there, but they manage to finish almost all the food, the only thing remaining a few slices of ham and a couple of latkes. She's extremely glad that she decided to wear leggings with an elastic waist, and she took the belt off somewhere before her second helping of mashed potatoes.

Bellamy's leaning back in his chair next to her, looking like he might pass out at any moment.

"I cannot get anything more down," he announces, and Clarke nods in agreement.

"Come on, guys," Raven says from across the table, though she does look about as stuffed as they are. "We have dessert."

Clarke glances at her watch – almost seven thirty.

"How about we hold off a little on the dessert?" she suggests. "One more movie, what do you say? Then whoever wants can have some dessert."

"As long as there's no more romance," Raven half-grumbles.

"It's Bellamy's turn to pick again, he did alright last time," Wells notes, getting up from the table and grabbing a couple of dishes before heading into the kitchen.

"How can you move?" Clarke asks him, voice a little whiney even in her own ears, when he returns.

He just laughs and pats her on the shoulder before grabbing her and Bellamy's plates. "I didn't take thirds."

"Shut up…"

She does manage to get up, though, and soon enough, they're all curled up on the couch again. She pulls her favorite blanket off the back of the couch and spreads it over herself and Bellamy after they've gotten situated in the by now familiar position with him leaning against the couch and her against him, both their legs stretched out on the chaise.

"OK, take your pick," Zeke says, handing Bellamy the remote before claiming his own spot on the opposite chaise next to Raven.

Bellamy opens up Netflix and starts scrolling through the titles in the Christmas category. He goes right to the end before flipping back again, eventually settling on The Nightmare Before Christmas.

"Yes!" Raven cheers. "Good choice."

Zeke wraps up the evening with The Muppet Christmas Carol, everyone forcing down one of Raven's Christmas cookies and a slice of her eggnog cheesecake as they watch the little furry guys on the screen.

When Wells and Sasha finally say their goodnights, Clarke can't help but think that it's been the best Christmas ever.

-100-

Boxing Day is a bit more low key than Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. After another good night's sleep, Clarke wakes up to actual sunshine streaming into the room and Bellamy warm against her back.

"Morning," he murmurs into her hair when he realizes that she's awake.

"Mmmm." She turns around in his embrace. "Morning."

He blinks at her slowly, obviously having just woken up himself, and closes the inch or so between them to kiss her. She returns the kiss, scooting even closer and sliding an arm around him. He in turn trails a hand up her leg and under the t-shirt she wore to bed last night. Just as he's running his thumb over her ribs, the sound of something falling to the floor comes from somewhere in the apartment, and they both freeze.

"Cat or guests?" Bellamy asks quietly after a moment.

Before she can answer, Raven's muffled voice comes through the door as well. It's impossible to tell what she's saying, but at least it answers his question.

Clarke sighs. "I guess we should get up."

"We could," he agrees, though instead of doing that he rolls them over and pushes her into the mattress. "Or we could wait a while… it's not like they know we're awake."

"We could… but apparently the walls aren't as thick as I thought."

Bellamy stills above her. "You mean they…"

"Heard us, yup."

"Great." He groans and drops his head to her shoulder.

"Rain check for tonight?" she suggests, running a hand through his hair. "We'll have the place all to ourselves again…"

He sighs and rolls off her, flopping onto his back. "I'm going to hold you to that."

Clarke laughs as she sits up on the edge of the bed. "You'd better."

When they leave the bedroom a little later, they find Raven on the couch, watching cartoons, while Zeke rummages around in the fridge.

"Morning," Clarke says in greeting, bypassing the kitchen to join Raven.

"Morning," Zeke replies. "Toast and eggs OK for everyone?"

"Absolutely," Bellamy replies, joining the other man in the kitchen. "I'll do the eggs, you do the toast?"

"Deal."

Clarke looks at Raven, who seems completely engrossed in the TV show.

"So that thud a little while ago, was that Zeke physically kicking you out of the kitchen?" she asks after a moment.

Raven snorts. "No. He scared Bas, and she did a sort of Road Runner impression on the hardwood before taking off into the hallway, where she bumped into the side table by the door and knocked that bowl you keep keys in to the floor. It didn't break or anything, but the cat might be traumatized. I think she's hiding under our bed again."

"She'll be fine, you know she's jumpy sometimes."

"So…" Raven starts, glancing over her shoulder at the guys in the kitchen. She lowers her voice before continuing. "Did you find a Transfer you can take Loverboy to if he refuses to believe you?"

Clarke hasn't actually had a chance to think about it, since yesterday was so busy.

"Not yet, let me check now," she says, grabbing her phone from where she put it down on the coffee table just a few minutes ago.

She opens her work app and goes to her schedule. The current day is always the first day on the screen, and then they can see six days into the future, so a week in total. It's possible to open a larger schedule for the coming month, where all available Transfers are listed, if someone for one reason or another wants to claim a specific Transfer.

She has nothing today, then two a day the rest of the year. Still no weird times, and the ones on Saturday, which is Bellamy's day off this weekend, are close enough together that she can claim she's meeting Raven for a coffee in the city. New Year's Eve might be a bit trickier, she has one at two thirty and then another at five… but Miller, who's getting back from the Christmas cruise on the 29th, is having a New Year's party that he's been trying to rope Bellamy into helping with, so she might try to play to his conscience and get him to spend the afternoon with his roommate, preparing for the evening.

The last day in her current schedule is New Year's Day, which is technically the first day after the holidays, and Bellamy isn't working. Like Raven pointed out, she doesn't want to wait too long… she's definitely not looking forward to the actual conversation, but she does want to get it over with, so she can hopefully start working on getting Bellamy to agree to let her take him on the trip she's been planning somewhere in the back of her mind since her talk with Raven.

She knows that there's a chance he won't believe her at all, maybe even think she's crazy or something, possibly decide he wants nothing to do with her anymore… but she tries not to linger on that fear.

She opens the one Transfer she has scheduled on January 1, at four in the afternoon.

"This should work," she says quietly. "COD: road traffic accident." She clicks on the coordinates to open the corresponding map. "In the middle of the street at Madison and East 26th."

"Perfect," Raven agrees, peaking down at the map on the screen. "That'll be fairly obvious, even if the victim is in a car. And there's the park on one side, you shouldn't look too conspicuous if you hang around for a while before."

It feels wrong to talk about someone's death so clinically, but Clarke supposes that's what happens when you deal with it daily for years and years. You have to distance yourself from it.

"Yeah. OK, unless something changes, I'll talk to him that morning – not too early, don't want him to think I'm still drunk or something – and then I'll take him along to this if I need to. Will you guys be available if I need backup? Or someone to spring me from the loony bin?"

Raven rolls her eyes. "Don't be ridiculous, there's not enough money in the mental health field to deal with every crazy person who claims to know when people are going to die." Then she nods and squeezes Clarke's hand. "Of course we'll be here if you need us."

They wrap the conversation up just in time, because a moment later, Zeke and Bellamy bring the breakfast over.

Wells and Sasha show up at noon, and they quickly organize the boxes of clothes and things that have been kept in the hallway closet the last few days. They stop to pick up some hygiene products as well as a few multipacks of underwear and socks – which are always needed but not often donated – before heading over to a shelter close by. The woman taking the boxes is all smiles, and Clarke thinks they all leave feeling like they've at least done something for others this holiday season…