A/N: Here is chapter 3 of this story. It's a bit of a filler chapter but there's no let up on the angst yet! Please review! I'll be posting the next chapter in a couple of days.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bones

With each day that passed, Booth found himself starting to remember a little more. He found that once he remembered one thing, it was like a key; one memory unlocked several others. Often a memory would be prompted by a smell or a sound. Angela had come to see him a few days after he had woken up. He could only recall meeting her once but when she had come closer to sit down in the chair next to his bed, he caught a hint of her perfume and he found several memories broke through. They were vague memories; mostly of her stood in front of some hi-tech computer equipment or of her flirting with him, but he didn't care. He was so happy to just remember something.

As his memories started to return, Temperance had arranged a video call for him with Parker. Booth found himself feeling nervous about the call. He was eager to speak to him. He missed his son and he found he was almost excited to see how much he had grown but he also worried at the same time that maybe the memories wouldn't come back. What would his son think of him if he couldn't remember him? He soon found his worries had been unnecessary though because as soon as Parker's face appeared on the screen and Booth heard his voice, more memories broke through and suddenly his son didn't seem to be such a stranger to him. Rebecca was on the call too to reassure Parker if he needed it. That stung a bit for Booth because to him, it was only a couple of years since he had broken up with her and the pain of their split still felt fairly fresh to him.

He started remembering more and more but frustratingly, the memories that weren't coming back were of his wife. He still couldn't remember his life with her or their daughter. Brennan had been coming every day to spend time with him although she no longer slept by his bedside. Now that his condition was no longer life threatening, she was going home to sleep and spend a little time with Christine. Booth had yet to meet his daughter. Temperance told him she didn't want to bring Christine to the hospital as she thought it might be too upsetting for the little girl. Booth hoped that he might get to go home soon, not just so he could get away from the damn hospital that he hated being in but also so he could see Christine. After what happened with Parker, he felt sure that as soon as he met her, he would remember her and maybe she would unlock some more memories for him. Like memories of Temperance.

There was something about Temperance Brennan that confused Booth. The first couple of days after he woke up, he thought he had seen glimpses of emotion in her face that she was clearly trying to hide. But since then, every time she had been here, she had barely shown any emotion at all. Even though he knew she must care about him to be here everyday without fail, her actions had left him wondering if she loved him and if he had loved her. On the rare occasions that she had touched him, it had done something to him, almost as if his body remembered her even though his brain didn't. She didn't seem to want to touch him though and she almost completely avoided physical contact with him. Booth had been afraid to ask her to touch him in case it was crossing some physical boundary in their relationship he was unaware of. It was undoubtedly complicating matters that he couldn't remember her. If he could remember something about her then maybe he could understand why she is that way. He was saddened by the thought that maybe he had once loved her even if she perhaps didn't love him. Where would that leave them though if he no longer felt that way about her. How could that be a happy marriage?

He was no longer in the ICU at the hospital. He had been moved to a private room that was more like a hotel room. He had no idea how his insurance was managing to cover it, but Temperance had told him not to worry, that it was all taken care of. He thought that he had seen maybe a glimpse of emotion break through when she had come to see him. They'd had a conversation that was the longest they'd had since he had woken up. She kept calling him 'Booth' which is fine, that's his name. It's what most people called him. Except none of his previous girlfriends had ever called him Booth. Colleagues, teammates, friends all called him Booth, but never his girlfriends. Even Cam who he had always joked with about calling him Seeley only started calling him Booth once they were no longer together and were just friends. Booth thought that maybe the fact that Temperance only called him Booth was a reflection on their relationship. His deductive skills, although admittedly slightly rusty, were telling him that she obviously sees him as more like a friend than a lover. It contributed to his sadness about their situation and it had shown when he asked her about it. They were sat in the pair of chairs that were in his room. Conversation had been awkward between them and they were sat in an uncomfortable silence. In an attempt to fill it, he had decided to ask her about why she never used his first name.

"Temperance, can I ask you something?"

She met his gaze, and her sombre expression softened a little when he spoke "Of course, Booth. You can ask me anything."

"Why do you call me Booth?"

Brennan paused for a moment as she contemplated his question and what he could possibly mean by it. "It's your name, it's what I've always called you."

"I know it's my name, but it's not my first name. All my previous girlfriends have called me by my first name. I guess I'm wondering why you don't."

"I was always under the impression that you don't really like your first name. If you are telling me though that I am incorrect, I will use it in future if you wish."

Booth smiled and nodded but Brennan was unsettled. This was not her husband. He didn't care that she didn't use his first name or at least, he used to. Now that she thought about it, he hadn't called her 'Bones' since he woke up. He had only ever called her Temperance. She didn't particularly like his nickname for her, but it was special. It was his unique name for her and despite not liking it, she missed him calling her that.

"Why don't you call me Bones anymore, Boo- Seeley?" She corrected herself at the end. It felt odd to call him Seeley. She had only ever said his first name a handful of times before and it sounded strange to her ears.

His brow furrowed in confusion. Had he gotten it wrong when he remembered she didn't like it? "I thought you didn't like that nickname?"

"I don't. But that never stopped you before."

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I guess it doesn't feel right to call you that."

Brennan had to swallow a lump out of her throat, and she found herself wondering if she was ever going to get her husband back.

"While we're on the subject, Temperance is a bit of a mouthful. Have you got a nickname that you do like?"

"Well, Angela calls me Bren, or my family and some friends call me Tempe."

Booth smiled at her "Tempe. Yeah I like it."

Brennan attempted a smile in return but wasn't quite successful.

Booth could see the effort it took for her to attempt that smile. He wondered if he was chasing a lost cause and he found himself considering that maybe whatever had brought them together before wasn't going to be enough to keep them together now.

0-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-0

Despite it being something she didn't believe in, Brennan felt like she was living in hell. Ever since Booth's head injury, she'd been dealing with emotions and living a life she had never wanted to experience. Just as she hadn't realised how much she relied on Booth to help her make sense of the world, she also hadn't realised how much she relied on Booth to help her with her emotions. She had spent so many years locking them away, but in the time she had known him, Booth had gradually been coaxing them out of her, guiding and supporting her. She was undoubtedly a more open person now. She knew that she still had a long way to go but she was aware that she had changed and had begun allowing herself to feel. Something which she regretted intensely now. Booth is the only man she has ever allowed herself to love. She has given all of herself to him and now, he doesn't even know who she is. He is the only person who she felt had truly understood her. The only person who knew everything about her, about her experiences of being left by her parents and the abuse she suffered in the foster system. About her fear of being abandoned and why that is the reason she never used to let anyone into her life. Now he doesn't remember any of that. He doesn't even remember her, never mind remembering who she is underneath. It felt to her as if she has not only lost Booth but a part of herself too. She felt like she had lost the person she was becoming, the person he was helping her to be. Now all she had left is the person she was before. Cold and unfeeling, keeping everyone at arm's length. Terrified of letting anyone in and getting hurt.

She was beginning to doubt herself, something which was unfamiliar and disquieting. She was unsure if what she was doing was helping Booth and second guessed herself constantly. After her conversation with the doctor where she had asked if she should be talking to Booth while he was unconscious and the doctor's reaction to her question, she found she hesitated each time she did anything. She had touched Booth only once since he woke up when he had asked her about phalanges and mandibles and Christine. It had seemed to provoke a reaction in him, and he had grabbed her hand, holding onto it until he fell asleep. Since then though, he has never shown any interest in touching her again so she has kept her hands to herself, unsure if it is what he wanted or needed.

He was regaining more and more memories every day and yet none of them were of her. A fact that hadn't escaped her attention. She had found it difficult to talk to him, something which upset her a great deal. Conversation had never been difficult for them and yet now she found herself at a loss for what to say to him. She wanted to tell him all about their life, talk about their work, about their children and their home. But she was afraid. Afraid that telling him too much would just confuse and overwhelm him. If she were being really honest with herself, she was also afraid that even if she did tell him all about their life together that he still wouldn't remember her. Him asking her to call him by his first name had shocked her and was an unwelcome reminder that he really wasn't himself. She remembered after he had his brain tumour that it took him a while to regain certain skills and aspects of his personality, but this time it felt worse.

The emotional pain she was in was like nothing she had ever suffered before. She wasn't sure how much more she could tolerate and losing Booth would surely tip her over the edge. She had briefly caught herself wondering which scenario would be worse, him dying and her being left alone or him never remembering her and the inevitable end of their relationship if he decided he felt nothing for her. Of course she didn't want him to die, he's her husband and she loves him more than she ever thought she would be capable of. She didn't enter into their marriage lightly and she knew that she would never have married anyone else other than Booth. But if he leaves her, she couldn't help but think it would be more painful for her than if he had died. She wasn't sure how she would ever recover from that. She wouldn't recover from his death either, but grief was a process, and she would one day maybe be able to move on. But how could she grieve and move on if he, the only man she has ever and will only ever love, is still alive and doesn't want her. She would have to live every day in the knowledge that he was out there, just without her.

She knew she should talk to someone about everything she was thinking but every time she thought about doing so, she felt a wave of panic and felt herself retreating further into her mind. Angela or even Sweets would help her she was sure, but the fear was overwhelming. She wanted to run far away from here. In the past, it had been her default coping mechanism and had helped her tremendously, but she knew she couldn't do that again. Booth still needed her, whether he knew it or not and she had Christine to consider now too. She thought about the last time she had run from a situation. She had taken Christine and ran to escape being wrongfully imprisoned for a murder she had been framed for. Being away from Booth for 3 months not knowing when she would see him again was awful and she knew that she wouldn't survive doing something like that again. No, running was not an option and yet despite staying being absolutely the right thing to do, it made her feel trapped without any idea of how to escape.