Eliza: Okay. Before we start, anyone need to use the restroom or get something to eat?
At that almost everyone got up. Some went to the restrooms and others went to get something to eat before sitting back down. Some did both. Either way, it took an hour for everyone to return to their seats.
Sarah: Now, this one holds one of Gobber's weird stories. Let's get started.
They began to watch.
Hoark:
Fire!
Marinette: Wow. Already chaos. How did that fire even start?
Sarah and Eliza: Dragon.
Eliza: You'll see what kind later.
They all continued to watch.
Vikings:
Get the buckets! To the ocean! What happened?
Stoick:
The wind is shifting! Fire Brigade, move in! Bring the Nadders in from the South!
Astrid:
I'm on it!
Stoick:
Gronckles, aim for the roof!
Danny: That's one way dragons can be helpful. Put the fires out.
Snotlout: After they start them.
Sarah: And you normally put the fire out that appears on your bottom.
Everyone but Snotlout laughed at that.
Fishlegs:
Yeah!
Stoick:
Good work, just a few hot spots left.
Hiccup:
Where's Gobber? Is he still inside?
Stoick:
No, we can't find him…
Gobber:
I'm right here. That beast will pay for this!
Gobber: BONEKNAPPER! I'LL GET YOU YET!
Everyone looked at him before turning back to the show.
Stoick:
Gobber, what happened?
Gobber:
What's it look like? A dragon set my home on fire!
Ruffnut:
What?
Gobber:
You pushed me too far this time, you ugly bag of bones!
Everyone laughed at this.
Hiccup:
Dad, what's he talking about? Our dragons don't do that anymore.
Stoick:
He doesn't mean one of yours. Gobber, for the last time, there is no such thing as a-
Gobber:
Boneknapper?!
Stoick: Here we go again.
The entire village groaned at this story... again.
Tuffnut:
A what-knapper?
Gobber:
A disgusting, foul beast. Wearing a coat of stolen bones like a giant, flying skeleton.
Tuffnut: Sounds awesome.
Gobber: It is not awesome. It's a foul beast who has been after me for a number of years.
The vikings groaned once more.
Fishlegs:
The Dragon Manual says that the Boneknapper will stop at nothing to find the perfect bone to build its coat of armor. It's awesome!
Stoick:
Come on, it's a myth. It doesn't even exist.
Sarah: It does too exist. You saw proof of it in the book of dragons short film. This is how it all goes down.
Snotlout: We're going to get involved, aren't we?
Eliza and Sarah: Yep.
The teens shared looks with each other wondering how they end up in this situation.
Gobber:
I'm telling you, it's real! I've been running from him my whole life. He's the one who started this fire.
Viking:
Stoick, we found Gobber's underpants hanging by the stove. They must've started the fire.
Everyone laughed at that as well.
Stoick:
Still think it's the Boneknapper, or just your underpants?
Gobber:
I don't think! I know! Somehow he found me again. That dragon is pure evil.
Stoick:
Gobber, it's late, and we're too tired for your stories. Now, get some rest.
Gobber:
You rest, I'm putting an end to this. Come on, Phil. Let's go.
Phil:
Baa.
Gobber:
We don't need their help anyway.
Snotlout: Yet we some how get involved.
Hiccup:
We can't let him go by himself. All right, Vikings! Grab your shields.
Teens:
Yeah! Yes!
Snotlout:
There's no way I'm getting on a boat to go after a fake dragon.
Snotlout: Seriously?! Hiccup is the reason we went?!
Eliza: He does become your leader and your Chief. FYI, Snotlout, hit on girls that would actually be into you at your own age. Or at least around it.
Sarah: Agreed. You hitting on a female that is way older than you is disgusting.
They were all confused.
Eliza: You'll see come the... 3rd movie.
They all paid attention to the show again.
Gobber:
Come on! Put your backs into it you lazy dogs! Stroke! You're not even trying! Stroke!
Hiccup:
How fun is this, right? We got the team back together, another adventure. This is pretty cool, huh?
Snotlout:
Yeah, nothing cooler than rowing until your hands bleed.
Nino: You dudes are crazy.
Alya: No kidding. You guys need counseling to get over your craziness.
Danny: No counselors for us.
Hiccup: Besides. Not even counseling will get us past our craziness and stubbornness. Especially the twins over their craziness.
Snotlout: No joke. The village officiator threw himself off a cliff before Tuffnut's first lesson even ended.
This got Marinette's and Danny's classes confused on just how crazy the twins are.
Gobber:
I just want you kids to know that it touches my heart, you helping me slay the Boneknapper. True Vikings, you are.
Ruffnut:
Gobber, are we there yet?
Fishlegs:
Oh, you'll know we're close when your ears explode from the piercing screams. Legend says this dragon's roar is so fierce, it can melt the flesh right off your bones!
Gobber:
Not so, Fishlegs. The Boneknapper has no roar at all. That's why he's terrifying. He's a silent killer.
Ruffnut:
Wait, so if we don't hear anything… we're dead?
Tuffnut:
I don't hear anything.
Phil:
Baa!
Teens:
AAAHHH!
Everyone jumped and laughed after seeing it was just a sheep.
Sarah: Man, that sheep, Phil, is something else.
Eliza: Agreed. Back to the show.
They paid attention to the show again.
Gobber:
Good one, Phil. Did I ever tell you about the first time I met the dreaded Boneknapper?
Stoick: Here we go again.
Hiccup: Another one of Gobber's stories. This is going to be something else.
Everyone that wasn't a viking and has never heard Gobber's stories were confused.
Gobber (v.o):
I was a young lad, about your age, on summer vacation with my family, when I heard the call of nature.
Teen Gobber:
Dad, pull the boat over!
Gobber's Father:
Didn't I tell ya to go before we left?
Everyone laughed at that.
Gobber (v.o):
I saw an army of Vikings, frozen in battle. Clutched in the fingers of one of the Vikings was a small treasure chest… I had to have it. I reached in and pulled out the chest… it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw. But the frozen Viking was still alive! He started punching me in the face!
Now they all looked weirded out.
Danny: How does that even happen?
Gobber: It did!
Teen Gobber:
Oh, my tooth!
Gobber (v.o):
And there it was… I never even heard it coming… The Boneknapper! It crashed into the glacier, causing an avalanche of frozen Vikings!
Teen Gobber:
The treasure!
Gobber (v.o):
I reached into the water… Only to find the frozen Viking punching me in the face again!
Nino: I still don't believe that, dude.
Snotlout: Totally not believable in the least.
Teen Gobber:
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Gobber (v.o):
The Boneknapper wanted that treasure… but I wanted it more!
Gobber's Father:
What took you so long?
Snotlout:
You expect us to believe that a frozen Viking punched you in the face?
Gobber:
Yeah, twice.
Hiccup:
Hey, it could happen.
Tuffnut: Uh, even we know that it can't.
Alya: No human could live that long in ice and survive.
Tucker: True. Unless it is a ghost.
Eliza: Okay. Let's focus on this show right now and move onto the topics of the other shows when it gets to that point.
They all nodded and focused.
Gobber:
What do you mean "it could happen"? It did! But I outsmarted the silent beast.
Fishlegs:
Um, Gobber, I hate to be a stickler for details, but… Boneknappers are not silent.
Gobber:
Fishlegs, I know what I didn't hear. But, I could feel it…
Fishlegs:
Uh, guys? Are there supposed to be…?
Gobber:
I had a sixth sense for danger. I can smell anything…
Fishlegs:
I really think we're gonna hit these…
Gobber:
…I could taste the oncoming doom!
Tuffnut:
Whoa…
Sam: And you landed on an island and not able to get home.
Astrid:
Um, I'm tasting rocks.
Alya: No thank you with rock tasting.
Sarah: Yeah. Leave that to the Gronckles.
Everyone laughed.
Gobber:
Ah, we're here.
Ruffnut:
Ugh. Now we're stuck in the middle of nowhere, and no one even knows where we are!
Fishlegs:
Except the Bonknapper. Legend says…
Snotlout:
Hey, you know what legend also says? Stop talking!
Fishlegs:
Okay, just hold on one darn second…
Gobber:
No need to panic, kids. I've been shipwrecked many times!
Hiccup:
Oh, well that's… comforting.
Marinette: Not in the very least.
Nino: Agreed, dudette.
Gobber:
You never forget your first shipwreck…
Gobber (v.o):
I was stranded on an island, with only my broom. It was a very small island.
Ruff: A broom?
Tuff: On a small island?
Snotlout: That makes no sense.
Sarah: Oh. Just wait. It gets even better.
They continued to watch.
Gobber (v.o):
It's no wonder the Boneknapper found me again. He never forgave me for taking that treasure. There was another island. My onlye escape. But I was surrounded by blood-thirsty hammerhead sharks! I only had one chance. So I ran across the shark infested waters.
Gobber:
Take that! Watch it! Nighty night, fatty! Someone forgot to brush!
Their jaws dropped in disbelief but Fishlegs was interested.
Gobber (v.o):
I didn't think I was going to make it. But then, from the depths of the ocean leapt forth… a giant hammerhead whale!
All but Fishlegs and Gobber: What?!
Sarah: There is no such thing as a giant hammerhead whale.
Eliza: So doesn't make any sense. And it gets even better.
They all watched to see what happens next.
Fishlegs:
Whoa! So the hammerhead whale ate the Boneknapper?
Snotlout: You're actually falling for that, Fishface?! This is totally unbelievable.
Sarah: So are you hitting on Astrid so many times when it is obvious she doesn't like you but like likes Hiccup.
They all laughed except Spitelout and Snotlout.
Gobber:
Almost, but he got away. Years later, the dragon hunted me down again and chased me into the jungle.
Gobber (v.o):
All I had was my trusty egg beater.
Sarah: I was so confused by this. It doesn't make any sense.
Snotlout: Exactly. No way all this story is true.
Eliza: Agreed. Mainly because of what happens here.
They were watching incredulously now.
Gobber (v.o):
I carved through that thick brush as fast as a jungle cat. Still, the Boneknapper was right behind!
Gobber:
Ah, Azaleas!
Gobber (v.o):
I ran up the side of a volcano and courageously leapt across the fiery crater. Then, deep within the burning volcano burst forth a giant hammerhead yak!
Their eyes widened in disbelief with their jaws dropping.
Sarah: No one could leap that and survive.
Eliza: A giant hammerhead yak doesn't exist.
Sarah: No human, nor viking, can jump that far.
Eliza: And so the ridiculous story continues.
They continued to watch.
Tuffnut:
Okay, wait a minute. Now you're saying a giant hammerhead yak leapt out of the fiery volcano and ate the Boneknapper?
Snotlout: See? Not even the twins are falling for this and they are easy to trick.
Tuffnut: Exactly. Me and my sister- Hey, wait a minute.
Everyone laughed, even the dragons, at this.
Gobber:
You would've thought so, wouldn't you? But the dragon got away again! I knew the boney scoundrel would keep coming after me…
Gobber (v.o):
So, I set up a gauntlet of traps, and waited for the beast. And when he was ready… he charged! And then I ran like the wind! But the traps failed! Then, captured, I did what any brave Viking would do…
Gobber:
Help!
They laughed at that, mainly the vikings.
Gobber (v.o):
The Gods must've heard my prayers. It was Thor! He tossed a mighty thunderbolt.
All but Gobber and Fishlegs: WHAT?!
Snotlout: This is a totally unbelievably fake.
Gobber: It is not.
Eliza: It gets even better.
They continued to watch.
Gobber:
Aw, you missed.
Thor:
Wait for it…
Gobber (v.o):
Then, from the center of the Earth blasted forth… The hammerhead yak riding the hammerhead whale!
This really made the people know this was fake... except Snotlout.
Hammerhead Yak:
Deploy the yak.
Nobody believed this other than Fishlegs.
Gobber:
Yes! Oh, my back!
Fishlegs:
Whoa… the whale saluted you?
Snotlout: I can't believe Mr. Facts is falling for this.
Gobber:
Can you believe it? But the Boneknapper got away again! He found me on Berk-
Snorlut:
Are you kidding? I don't believe any of this.
Tuffnut:
Yeah, you totally made everything up!
Ruffnut:
Come on, Gobber, it's time to get out of here!
Snotlout:
We need to get home!
Tuffnut:
You don't even have any proof that that thing exists!
Gobber:
Of course I have proof. I still have the treasure. This stunning belt buckle.
Alya: It's a bone. Skip the counseling, you all need therapy.
They all laughed.
Gobber:
It was in the Viking's treasure chest. It's kept my pants up for years.
Fishlegs:
It is stunning.
Hiccup:
Um…listen, Gobber. Instead of chasing down an imaginary dragon, maybe we should figure out how to get home.
Gobber:
Say no more, I hear ya loud and clear. I've got a plan. Alright, who'd like to be dragon bait?
Hiccup: That isn't even remotely close to what I was talking about.
Marinette: Does he always do that?
Gobber: I'm right here.
Hiccup: Gobber. You speak your mind and don't really think before doing.
Sarah: Actually, i've seen proof. He can use that head of his to figure things out when the time comes.
They all looked at her like she grew a second head.
Fishlegs:
Um, Gobber, are you sure this is safe?
Gobber:
Safety's overrated. Okay, here's the plan. The Boneknapper wants me, right? He comes down that trail, sees Fishlegs, think it's me, rushes Fishlegs, causing Phil to trip that rope, dropping that rib cage and then we rush in a finish him off once and for all!
Snotlout:
It's sad when they get old.
Everyone laughed at this statement.
Hiccup:
Gobber, you're taking this way too far, okay? You need to face it. There is no such thing as the Boneknapper!
Gobber:
Woemsquat! Now, get into position. Way to go FIshlegs, you're doing fine!
Hiccup:
No wonder the entire village thinks you're crazy.
They all laughed.
Snotlout:
Hello? He sees dead Vikings!
Sarah: Reminds me of a show called Ghost whisperer. It's about this female adult who can see Ghosts and help them cross over into the light.
Eliza: That is a fun show. Now back to this one.
They were all confused but went back to watching the show.
Tuffnut:
Yeah, especially that thing about the hammerhead yak…
Fishlegs:
Um, guys…?
Astrid:
This is a complete waste of time.
Fishlegs:
Guys, hello?! Turn around! Guys! GUYS!
Everyone:
WHAT?!
Hiccup:
It's right behind us, isn't it?
All: YEP!
Fishlegs:
Well, what do you know? No roar.
Gobber:
RUN!
Astrid:
Okay, Gobber, we believe you!
Gobber:
Phil!
Snotlout:
Find a happy place, find a happy place…
Everyone laughed at Snotlout's reaction.
Fishlegs:
No, no, no, please… please. He wants my head. I swear he wants my head!
Gobber:
Bring it on! You wait till I get out there and I'll show you!
Hiccup:
Wait. It searches for the perfect bone to build its coat of armor. The treasure! Gobber, take off your pants!
Gobber:
Huh?
Others:
NO!
Sarah: I get the idea. Just don't like it.
Eliza: It's disturbing.
Hiccup:
Wait, listen to me. I think Fishlegs was right. The Boneknapper is supposed to have a roar. But maybe he can't because the bone he needs is your belt buckle.
Astrid:
Gobber, please, you have to give it back.
Gobber:
No way, it's mine. Uh-oh.
Hiccup:
Give him back his bone!
Gobber:
NOOO!
Hiccup:
GIVE HIM BACK HIS BONE!
Gobber:
NOOOOO! Noooo… oh, alright.
Everyone laughed at how comical that was.
Hiccup:
Gobber!
Gobber:
Alright, you've got me. Make it fast.
Hiccup:
That's gonna give me nightmares.
They all looked grossed out.
Alya: Alright. Get pants that fit.
Everyone agreed.
Astrid:
Well, at least we have a ride home.
Gobber:
Aren't you cute? Yes, you are. Yes, you are!
Snotlout:
You know, I never doubted him. I was always like: "He's right."
Astrid: No you weren't. Besides. I don't think the part with the whale and yak and sharks actually happened, they made no sense.
Tuffnut:
His tailbone is hurting my tailbone!
Sarah: Tuff is a very comical person.
Eliza: No kidding.
Hiccup:
He sure seems happy to have that bone back.
Fishlegs:
Well, legend says that Boneknapper's roar is its mating call.
Gobber:
Oh, that's just a myth. Uh-oh!
Phil:
Baa!
Gobber:
I think Stoick will believe me now, eh?
Their jaws dropped opened.
Stoick: Definitely believe you now, old friend.
Eliza: Okay. Just one more short film and then it is on to the episodes.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone. Tell me what you think about Gobber's story and how you think this actually happened because I highly doubt most of what he said with that story.