Chapter 7: Dear Mother

Delilah entered the girl's dormitory as quiet as a mouse. The room was still empty, except for Rowan who had already drifted off to sleep. She had piles of books and parchment next to her bed. Rowan normally studied hard, but she studied even harder when she needed to distract herself. Delilah knew Rowan would want every inch of detail about the ball the following morning. Unfortunately for her, Delilah planned to sneak out before she woke up to meet with Professor Flitwick.

Stealthily, she undressed. The high heels that now caused her feet to ache were removed. The beaded bracelet no longer wrapped around her wrist, and instead sat delicately on the nightstand. Her champagne dress slid to the floor. She let down the rest of her tied up hair, also realizing the jeweled feather was lost. Delilah didn't dwell on the loss for too long. She swapped the dress for her night gown in her suitcase and dressed for bed. From her suitcase, she also pulled out a package of makeup remover wipes.

Delilah tiptoed into the bathroom, slowly closing the door of the torchlit space. She inched towards the sink with her package. The mirror reflected a sullen girl, ready to end the night. For a brief moment her own reflection startled her, for she didn't recognize herself. She had always tried to smile through troubling times, but tonight, she had no desire to feign what she was feeling. She knew she looked depressing. Delilah pulled out one of the wipes and began clearing the surface of her face. Black mascara and eye liner coated the wipe, leaving her face spotless. The wipe was tossed into the empty bin. Delilah turned on the sink faucet to give her face one last warm rinse. She padded her wet face on a nearby towel and exited, careful not to wake up Rowan. She packed the rest of the wipes and headed towards her bed.

Delilah slipped beneath her covers, but laid awake. Sleep was the last thing on her mind. She couldn't wrap her head around her next steps. What would she tell her father? Should she continue trying to catch Talbott knowing someone may be using the Imperious Curse on her? Knowing that she is now capable of using Unforgivable Curses against her will? She always said that she would kill Talbott if she had to, but would she actually do it? Did she want to? Delilah's eyes became quiet streams. She would do anything to be a kid again and be held by her mother.

"M-mother?" she whispered. "Mother, I miss you... I need you... Why are you gone? Why did you have to leave? I cannot do this alone."

Delilah inhaled before letting out a deep breath.

"I need to know what to do. How do I face Father? Did you know he was capable of being so aggressive when you married him? What was young Father like? You would have never let him become what he has became. Or, you would of at least been able to protect me..."

She turned her head to make sure Rowan was still asleep. Rowan's heavy breathing was enough to convince her of her continued slumber.

"My whole life, " she began again quietly. "Has been nothing but doing what Father orders me to do, no matter how wrong it is. I am living for him and not for myself. Mother, I don't even know who I am. I don't know my own values. It's always, 'talk less, smile more'. I don't know what I'm against or what I'm for. I don't know if I can continue his orders. Either way, I'm afraid of death. I'm afraid he's going to kill me if I'm not killed by someone else first. I'm afraid of the man you once loved. I can't say I even love him anymore. His obsession with revenge against animagi has made him unrecognizable as a father. I can't fight him though. I'm too weak, Mother. I know you would want me to. You were strong. You would want me to stand up to him. Why did the bobcat take you instead of him? You wouldn't have gone this far to avenge him. You would have been rational. So many animagi could have been spared. Talbott could have been spared. I could have befriended him instead of trying to take his life..."

Delilah's heart fluttered.

"I could have became his friend. I could have gone to the ball with him. We could do homework together and have dinner together. We could fly together, since I know he is some sort of bird animagus. Explore the world's mysteries. We... what am I saying? We wouldn't have met... I wouldn't have a reason to be at this school... He would be living his life peacefully without me. I am nothing but a burden to him."

Delilah felt empty. Rowan shifted briefly and began snoring.

"I'd do anything to have a normal life. Go to one school, have two parents, graduate, get a job, work, get married and have my own kids, grow old. I don't even know what career I would pursue, but honestly anything is better than the one I'm trapped in now. I wish to have children of my own someday, and have you meet your grandchildren. I want to show them what true love is in a family, and what a real family is all about. Alas, this cannot be so. I was basically born into a role I have no control over. I do not have the strength to face my father. Even reporting him would work against me because he is so close with the Ministry. Our own wizarding government fails to protect its people. It couldn't even protect you against that unregistered creature."

Delilah's eyelids began to droop. Her whispers became monotone.

"For now, I am stuck on my mission. I cannot take on Father, whether you would want me to or not. However, I'll keep an eye out for any openings that may change my course. Any opportunities for a way out of this. It is unfortunate that Talbott must go down for the sake of our unstable family. I will never come to terms to forgive myself for his misfortune. I'm so sorry, Mother. Talbott Winger must be sacrificed until I am strong enough to defeat Father."

Delilah's last words were barely a whisper before sleep took over her.