Thank you all so much for your responses to chapter 1! I'm so happy people enjoyed it. Sorry the update has taken 2 weeks! I was trying to work on the basis that I'd upload when I'd finished the next chapter but I got really distracted by watching The Mentalist (watch it if you haven't, it's amazing!) and still haven't finished 3 because of that but thought I'd upload this anyway.

Please let me know what you think! And thank you so much to Jo and Luisa for working their beta magic! I appreciate it so so much!

Enjoy the angst!

The Waiting Game

Chapter 2

The next few months flew by. Donna completely immersed herself in her new relationship and it meant that for the first time she could remember, she was putting herself over work. She left the office at a more reasonable time, felt less responsible for any crises caused by her co-workers and she felt happier in herself as a result.

When Thomas came into her life, he was like a breath of fresh air. Things were moving fast, sure, but Donna couldn't remember the last time her life was so stress-free. Not that there wasn't any stress at all, she still worked at one of the top firms in New York, but it felt like this was more normal. A healthier amount of stress, rather than running around cleaning up other people's messes for 16 hours a day.

She was able to see more theatre, usually accompanied by Thomas, who also really enjoyed going. It was amazing, being able to do the things she most enjoyed. She was rekindling a love for herself that had been pushed to the wayside in the corporate world she'd spent every waking moment in. She'd been able to return to yoga, too, which had been limited over the last couple of years while she tried to help her friends hold the firm up.

Donna Paulsen felt good. No, great. The best she'd felt in a long time.

Yet, something still felt missing. She hadn't quite been able to put her finger on what, but there was definitely something lacking even in spite of what she felt she'd gained.

Thomas had moved into her apartment several weeks before. His things had started to appear there already and he'd joked about seeing each other so much that they might as well be living together. It sparked something in Donna's mind and she instinctively suggested he moved in with her.

It was nice to share her apartment with someone. Coming home after work to Thomas making dinner, or leaving work before he did to cook something for him. It was a life she was happy to lean right into, one that felt right. She'd hesitated to let herself think about it over the years because the possibilities always included Harvey, and part of her knew that would never happen. It was forbidden, so she forbade herself from even thinking about it. Yet there she was, living that life without giving Harvey a second thought.

Or at least she was trying not to. She couldn't help it sometimes; he'd slip into her thoughts and she would try desperately to focus her mind away from him. Donna was determined to move on this time and not let impossible what if's get in the way. She was getting older and had started to realise she wanted more from her personal life. The idea of a steady relationship, potentially a family, was something that really appealed to her. Getting a taste of that with Thomas made things feel like they might just be falling into place.

Which was why when Donna woke that morning, she couldn't swat the idea of more with Thomas away.

She woke up before him and their alarm, and she watched him sleep for a minute or so, in awe of what she had, then got up to start getting ready for the day.

Thomas made eggs benedict for breakfast and served it up for Donna with a coffee—splash of vanilla, of course.

"Happy 6-month anniversary," he grinned as he sat down opposite her at the table.

"Happy 6 months," Donna beamed back at him. She took a moment before she started eating and watched Thomas sip on his own coffee, which he'd chosen not to add vanilla too even though he had come around to it. The last relationship she had that had reached the 6-month point, the only one, in fact, had ended miserably on that same day. Understandably, as painful as it was for Donna to digest at the time. Harvey had been a bigger part of her life than Mark was.

That wasn't the case this time, though. Harvey didn't invade her every thought or influence her every move. She felt like she finally had a shot at happiness, that the relationship could last this time. Maybe that feeling of missing something was because she was ready for the next step.

"Marry me," she blurted out. The words escaped her lips without her control. She'd thought about it a lot over the last couple of days but didn't quite think she'd say it over breakfast, completely unromantically.

"What?" Thomas asked, in shock at the words he'd heard.

"Marry me," she said again, softly that time with a shy smile gracing her lips as she spoke.

"I can't say I haven't thought about it but this wasn't how I saw a proposal happening," Thomas chuckled.

"It's not quite how I saw it happening either."

"I would love to marry you, Donna, but I want to make sure you don't feel like I'm rushing you into anything," Thomas said.

"Thomas, it was me who asked. I don't feel like you're rushing me into anything," Donna assured him. "Is that a yes?" She asked eagerly.

"Yes, it is," Thomas smirked. "Now eat the breakfast your future husband slaved over for you."

She laughed as she finally tucked into her food, unable to stop smiling.

She smiled almost all day, hardly able to believe that she was engaged. Her personal life was catching up with her professional life. She beamed when a large bouquet arrived at her office; pinks and reds and whites, sent by Thomas.

She didn't find herself thinking about Harvey all day; there were no meetings or kitchen collisions so she didn't see him, and her mind was mostly occupied with ideas about her upcoming wedding. She found herself distracted by it, positively distracted but distracted nonetheless. Donna was looking forward to getting out of the office.

When the evening rolled around and she finally left work, she returned home to change before dinner with Thomas; her fiancé. That was new. She hadn't told anybody yet, either. She was waiting. Maybe for a ring, maybe for a sign.

They had a reservation at Eleven Madison Park and, after paying the check a little after 10pm, they followed their dinner date up with a stroll in Madison Square Park.

"I know we said no gifts," Thomas began as they approached the fountain, "but I have something for you."

The warm light from the street lamps illuminated the pair and Thomas was sure Donna was literally glowing.

"Thomas-" she stopped before she'd even begun when the man in front of her dropped to one knee.

"I know, I know, technically you proposed this morning, but I wanted to do things properly," he smiled. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small navy box made of velvet.

"Oh my god," Donna muttered quietly.

"Donna Roberta Paulsen, will you marry me?"

"Yes, of course!"

.

"Harvey, I need you to sign off on this agreement," Donna said as she entered his office the next morning. "Well, I needed it yesterday but you were out of the office when I left."

He looked up at her and his face was drained of all colour, as if he'd seen a ghost, and Donna was confused for a moment until she realised.

Shit.

He was staring straight at the ring sitting comfortable on her left hand. The ring, too big and shiny to miss. The ring she had meant to take off but completely forgotten about. She was so focussed on the missed deadline that she'd walked straight to Harvey's office, bypassing her own and completely forgetting the biggest relationship milestone she'd ever reached.

"Oh, I, um, I-" she stumbled over her words as she watched him swallow hard. "I was going to tell you, first actually, I just came straight here and-"

"I'm happy for you," Harvey smiled and Donna couldn't help but hold her breath, not quite sure whether it was even what she wanted to hear. "Let me guess, last night after your date?"

"Yeah," she breathed out. "It was our 6-month anniversary."

"I know," Harvey said softly. "Still celebrate your niece's third-grade graduation like the moon landing, huh?" He chuckled and Donna smiled, unsure of what to say. Which felt ridiculous, she's Donna.

Not only that, she should be happy. Harvey's supposed to be her friend and it should be a good thing that he's happy for her, so why didn't it feel that way?

She pulled herself together with a heavy exhale, swatting away the questions because he wasn't her problem now that she was happy with Thomas. He couldn't be; she wasn't prepared for yet another relationship to fail because something might happen one day.

"Can I leave this here?" She asked with a convincing smile.

"Yeah, I have a call in a few minutes but it should be back on your desk within the hour."

"Thank you," she said softly and left Harvey's office.

It wasn't quite the start to the day that she was expecting and it was a stupid mistake to make, but at least telling him was out of the way. What felt strange to Donna as she walked the corridor leading back to her office was that she really could not read the situation. It wasn't like when he found out about Stephen and it obviously bothered him. This time, she couldn't quite tell if he was genuinely happy for her or bothered by it. Perhaps because they'd drifted apart and she was distracted. But she was Donna, and not knowing was killing her so, as she entered through her office door, she decided to throw herself into work and wait until it was a reasonable time in Seattle so she could call Rachel with her news.

.

Harvey couldn't help but tap the arm of the couch he was sat in, a combination of nerves and annoyance overridden by the fact he knew deep down that being there was for the best. He breathed in his surroundings, letting his nerves out with a steady exhale before he spoke.

"Thanks for seeing me so last minute," Harvey said finally.

"Of course," Stan replied warmly. "When I got your message yesterday, I had just received a cancellation so the timing was perfect."

Harvey smirked and shuffled in his seat. Something about therapy never felt exactly comfortable, no matter how many times he went. Opening himself up, laying all his cards out on the table, made Harvey feel far more vulnerable than he wanted to.

"So," Stan began. "What brings you here?"

"I, um," Harvey stuttered before he sighed. "I've started having panic attacks again," he revealed. "Not many… but I haven't had any for years."

"I see," Stan said. "What brought them on the last time you got them?"

"Why is that relevant?" Harvey asked, slightly annoyed.

"I just want to know what we are dealing with," he explained. "I wasn't your therapist last time."

Harvey wet his lips. He knew where this was going, he could see the pattern himself, and his mouth had begun to dry out in anticipation.

"Donna had left me," he answered quietly. "She stopped being my secretary and started working for Louis."

Lipschitz nodded, he remembered Louis coming into his office back then, worried that Donna would return to Harvey's desk.

"I know she's not your secretary anymore, Harvey, but have you or Donna had any big life changes recently?" He asked, pen poised as he prepared to jot down his client's answer.

"You could say that," Harvey scoffed and he saw the look of inquisition he received. "She got engaged a couple of days ago."

"Oh."

"Yeah… she told me yesterday morning and I ended up having a panic attack." Harvey swallowed hard after he spoke and he let his eyes drift away from the doctor.

"Is that the first one you've had recently?"

"No," Harvey admitted. "I've had a handful over the last few months."

"We've spoken before about people leaving you," Stan said. "Does this feel like another one of those times?"

"Maybe," Harvey mumbled and he looked up to see Lipschitz underline something in his notebook.

"How has her relationship affected your friendship?"

"We don't see each other much anymore," he revealed. "Not like we used to."

"Does that bother you?"

"Of course, it bothers me!" Harvey exclaimed, feeling frustrated that the doctor would ask such an obvious question.

"Harvey, I have to ask. Has your relationship with Donna ever been intimate?" Stan questioned, his gaze piercing through Harvey, who shifted in his seat; he was clearly uncomfortable.

"Once," Harvey replied. "Years ago."

"And what happened after that? What impact did it have on the two of you over the years?"

"It's complicated…" Harvey's jaw clenched as he watched Stan write something down. Talking about him and Donna was never easy. It was something they didn't do. Sure, he thought about the possibility of them sometimes, especially recently, but some things aren't meant to be and Harvey was pretty sure that the two of them together was one of them.

No matter how much he wanted it, he'd missed his window of opportunity.

His mind wandered back to the night that Thomas met Donna in the lobby. If that man had waited 10 minutes later, hell, maybe even 5 minutes later, Harvey couldn't help but think that things might have turned out differently. After speaking to Scottie, he'd realised the only way forward was to actually talk to Donna. Communication wasn't exactly their strong point, but if he could've just told her how he felt…

"Harvey?" Stan said, which brought Harvey back to the moment. "Where did you go?"

"Sorry, I was just thinking," he replied. Stan had an expectant look on his face, keen to hear more. "The day I found out she was seeing someone; I wanted to try and talk to her about us."

"What stopped you?"

"He turned up."

"Her fiancé?" Stan asked for clarification.

"Yeah, Thomas."

"Why didn't you say anything after?" Stan asked and he was met by a bewildered look. "I understand that you lost your opportunity that day but, what about after?"

"Because the next morning, I entered my office and Donna was there to tell me how happy she was with Thomas," Harvey replied. "I don't want to get in the way of her happiness."

"Are you in love with her?" Stan asked and it took Harvey by surprise.

He sucked in a deep breath and scanned his therapist's face. He expelled the heavy breath and wet his lips, not entirely sure whether he wanted to respond. He knew the answer but he'd never said it out loud. It was always a secret, something not to talk about.

"I see," Stan commented as he scribbled something in his book.

.

Thomas and Donna's engagement party was underway 2 weeks later. It took place on the Sun Deck at the Rockaway Hotel, swarming with friends and family of the future bride and groom.

Harvey had been invited, of course, but naturally, he turned up late. Donna actually wasn't sure that he would turn up at all and she was conflicted about which she would prefer. She couldn't reconcile the fact that she wanted him there to prove he wasn't bothered by her engagement but didn't want him there because she was still unsure whether she was ready to move on.

When he did finally turn up, he was seemingly unbothered. She watched as he made his way around the room, circulating between mutual friends. She observed him as he strolled over to her mother, who greeted him with open arms and laughed at some joke he blurted out. Her father was nowhere near, probably with Thomas' parents somewhere, and she knew that they had never got along. But it was different with her mom.

She couldn't help but gaze at him from afar, eyes raking over him. He was wearing a grey shirt with no tie, the top couple of buttons undone and god, she loved it when Harvey wore casualwear. Even now, when she was happy with someone else, she couldn't help but appreciate him and that Cheshire Cat grin of his.

"Hey," Harvey said softly as he approached Donna. He'd waited for his moment, watched as she'd finished talking to some of Thomas' friends and walked away with a deep breath. It was then that he approached her, when she was finally alone. He'd hesitated for a moment, unsure whether to pounce when she was so clearly looking for a moment's peace, but it was the only possibility he'd had to get her on her own.

"Hey," she replied, caught off guard by him.

"Can I?" He asked, gesturing to the chair opposite her and she nodded.

"How are you finding it?" Donna asked.

"Well, you know how I feel about small talk," Harvey chuckled, "but it's a nice party."

He watched as Donna brought her drink to her lips, and as she sipped on the champagne, he couldn't help but notice the large rock on her left hand. It sparkled in the light and he felt an unpleasant tightness in his chest.

"What about you? Are you enjoying it?"

"Yeah," she breathed out with a wide smile plastered across her face. Though it didn't seem sincere. Harvey had known her for over a decade, and had seen many smiles, both fake and real, and something about this one didn't seem genuine.

"Really?" he asked, walking on eggshells because he didn't want to imply anything.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Just a little overwhelming. I'm enjoying it, all our friends and family together and getting along well, but it's… a lot."

Harvey nodded in response. He got it. It was a lot, but that doesn't mean she isn't happy. Nor does it mean he can't be happy for her (because it was undeniably a lot for him, too).

"I'm happy for you." He grinned and Donna couldn't help but smile too. He couldn't tell whether it was relief or surprise that filled her eyes—maybe both—but he watched the crinkles form beside those hazel orbs and his heart fluttered.

Just because he wasn't the one making her happy, it didn't mean he couldn't enjoy it. Hey, he hadn't had a panic attack since the day he'd found out she was engaged because the sessions with Lipschitz were going well. Really well, actually.

"Thank you, Harvey," she said quietly. And she was so grateful, and maybe it didn't bother her as much as she feared it would. Maybe now she could begin to move on from him—and those eyes and that smile—and give all of herself to her husband-to-be.

.

Thomas and Donna saw Mike and Rachel again the next day, making the most of the couple being back in New York. Mike had seen Harvey during the day while Donna had taken Rachel shopping and asked her to be her maid of honour—to which Rachel excitedly said yes.

Then in the evening, the four congregated at Donna and Thomas' apartment. Donna and Rachel decided to cook dinner, well, it was mostly Rachel doing the cooking but Donna did try to have some input. She wasn't the most refined when it came to cooking and, given Rachel's foodie nature, it made sense to assist.

Thomas and Mike got along well, too. It was a little strange at first for the younger man. Harvey was his best friend, but he could tell Thomas was a good guy. And he clearly cared deeply for Donna, which mattered to Mike far more than Thomas realised.

It wasn't until after they'd eaten that Mike managed to get Donna aside and speak to her alone. She'd carried their dessert plates out and Mike insisted on helping her, leaving Rachel and Thomas laughing about a Donna story she'd told him.

"What's wrong?" Donna asked quietly. She was Donna, she knew something was up with him and had seen it nagging away in his mind all evening.

"What makes you think something's wrong?" He asked with a scoff, only to be met by a face that knew better. "Are you sure this is what you want?" He asked in a hushed voice.

Donna paused momentarily before placing the glass down that she had been holding. She rolled her eyes with a sigh, "Mike-"

"I just mean," he began, still talking in a low voice to avoid Thomas hearing. "Not so long ago, you kissed Harvey because of something I said. I just want you to be sure, especially because this is moving fast."

It touched her, frankly, and she couldn't help the small smile that tugged at her lips.

"Mike, I know you're saying it because you care," she said, "but I'm happy."

He smirked.

"Good, I'm glad. That's all I wanted to make sure of," he said with a smile before he started loading the dishwasher.