Everyone had finished relocating from the entrance of the mansion to its main meeting room, seating themselves between its multiple couches and chairs.
Emilia, Beatrice, Petra, and Ram had readied themselves to begin the interrogation of the three stooges who had returned not long ago. The feelings of the three were a mixed bag on this however, ranging from worry, to confusion, to anger.
Petra and Emilia belonged solely to the camp of worry, Petra who had been the first to receive the trio had been hit incredibly hard by Garfiel's lie that Subaru had passed away. He was the hero who had come to her rescue when the mabeasts attacked her village, he had saved her again when Elsa and Meili had attacked the mansion, her preteen self just couldn't handle that he was dead. She was still recovering from the shock but had pulled herself together after Beatrice informed everyone that he was only sleeping and would wake within a few hours.
Emilia held a much more complex set of emotions that were similar yet different to Petra's. She was worried about Subaru and she was a bit guilty about bouncing his head off the ground like a discarded ball earlier. But she was also greatly disappointed in her knight and his two companions, she was used to their normal teenage boy antics that usually got them into a little bit of trouble. But what they had just done was a great step above that, they had gotten into so much trouble that Otto looked ready to keel over into a grave, Garfiel got so drunk that Ram had to defend herself with 'less than lethal' force from his attempt to recreate his sisters birth. He's 15 years old for god sakes, he's on the road to becoming a juvenile delinquent! And her completely and beyond all doubts knightly knight Natsuki Subaru was the worst of all, he came back so messed up that they would've buried him in his death like state if Beatrice hadn't of been there. And because of this while Petra just looked worriedly at Subaru, Emilia glared at the 3 like mother whose child missed their curfew by 10 minutes.
Beatrice showed that she was a creation of the Witch of Greed with how inquisitive she was. She was eagerly sitting on the couch waiting to hear about the adventure that the three had been on, she was a bit sad that she couldn't hear about it in person but to her hearing about the adventure was the next best thing. She knew that Subaru didn't like alcohol, and how he was adamant that nobody should drink until they were at least 20 years old. And so, she wanted to now what series of unfortunate events led to the three getting as screwed up as they were.
The prosecutor of the group was the only one of the 4 not sitting down, Ram was leaning against the wall in the corner of the room. She was giving the idiots who had caused such a commotion a glare so strong you'd think she was trying to set them on fire by just looking at them. The term prosecutor was certainly not unbecoming of her as her main prerogative behind wanting to hear their stories was merely to decide who to beat first, and by how much.
The trio was in a simpler state than their interrogators. Subaru was the simplest of all, as he was simply laid down on a couch unconscious. He hadn't been dressed yet, so he was still wrapped up in a blanket, and there was still dried blood on his face from both the unknown injury, and from getting harshly rejected by EMT.
Otto was just sat nervously in a chair, occasionally looking up from the ground only to meet Ram's glare, sending his eyes back to the ground. He deeply regretted both bringing Subaru and Otto with him on his trip and even more so, getting forced by Garfiel into a scheme that had led to his current situation of being in an atmosphere so tense that it threatened to boil him alive.
Garfiel just sat in a chair still completely plastered, he just blankly starred at the ground as the whole world spun around him in a soupy mess.
The silence in the room was first broken by Ram.
"Otto explain, Garfiel is still too fucked. Pathetic"
"Y-Yes Ram-san, but we were split up for most of the time, so I don't see why you ne…"
Otto's attempt to finagle his way out was sharply cut off by the sound of Ram cracking her knuckles. Oddly enough this also made Garfiel shoot his gaze back to the ground after he misinterpreted a certain word Ram said.
"Okay, Okay, I'll tell you everything" Otto wailed in fear.
"It all started on the trip there in the wagon."
"Captain , I hav' a question I've been meanin' to ask ya"
"Ask away Garfiel" said Subaru whilst he laid on his back with his legs crossed and eyes closed.
"I happened to overhear back 'n Sanctuary that you and Emilia-sama were expecting to have a lil' kid. So how do I say it, congratulations, and will you consider naming 'im after my amazin' self, Garfiel?! Or is it gonna be more of a junior?" said Garfiel rather bashfully at first before getting excited like a little puppy when it came to talk of names.
"NATSUKI-SAN IS BECOMING A FATHER?! I guess come to think of it, Emilia-sama was looking a tiny bit puffy lately" cried Otto excitedly from the front of the wagon
"WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, Calm down guys, I'm not gonna become a father, where'd you get that idea?! And Otto, Emilia does not look puffy, she's still EMT!" Subaru fanned the air with both his arms as if trying to calm Garfiel and Otto down while having a shocked expression on his face, but also looking a bit annoyed at Otto's statement about his beloved EMT.
"I heard that Emilia-sama was real' flustered after th' last trial, 'nd that she was askin' ya 'bout naming an' raising yer child. If ya don't wanna name it 'Garfiel' that's okay Captain, I can take it." Said Garfiel as he started to look a little bit sad about not having his Captains first child named after him.
Subaru let out a sigh before starting to explain the misconception.
"Emilia and I had our first kiss that day, she thought that kissing is what causes a couple to conceive a child. I asked Ram and Frederica to explain what actually happens to her, but she was very embarrassed, so nobody mentions this to her!"
"But Captain if kissing doesn't make a baby how are they made?" said Garfiel is he sat cross legged in front of Subaru, expecting a lesson like when Subaru taught him about victory poses and Naruto running.
"Otto as the oldest and most learned here I entrust Garfiel's adulthood education to you" said Subaru sarcastically as he made a bit of a bow, which Garfiel did as well without sensing the sarcasm.
Then while laughing a bit Otto delivered his learned wisdom.
"Garfiel-san when a woman and a man love each other very much, the woman will ride the man. After this mutual riding a child is made."
"Like how th' Captain rides Patrasche around?" said Garfiel quizzically while tilting his head a bit in confusion.
"EXACTLY" Shouted Otto while laughing his head off.
"NO, NO, DEFINITLY NOT! The riding Otto is referring to is completely different than how I ride Patrasche" Screamed Subaru defiantly.
"So ther' aren't going to be any lil' Captains running about with a ground dragon body 'nd Captain heads?" said Garfiel while chuckling.
"The riding Otto was talking about happens when a man and a woman love each other very much, they do it to show each other how much they love each other." While saying this Subaru's face turned red and he buried his face in his hands.
"But Captain, both Otto and yerself 're always talking 'bout how much th' Captain loves Patrasche, are ya sure they're different?"
"Ya Natsuki-san are you sure you aren't riding Patrasche all day long like that, you do always mention how much you love her" said Otto to goad on Garfiel.
"GAAAAAAAAH, I'M NOT FUCKING PATRASCHE, BOTH OF YOU STOPPPPP!" shouted Subaru in defeat as he pulled his hair with both of his hands.
And so, with the awkwardness created by Garfiel's line of questioning they continued their trip in silence for awhile, however Garfiel's curiosity was not yet sated.
"Captain, I got 'nother question"
"What is it Garfiel" said Subaru with a heavy hint of suspicion and fear in his voice.
"What's a harem? And while yer at it, what's a loli?" asked Garfiel with complete seriousness in his voice.
"Garfiel, first I want to know where and why you want to know what those words mean?" Said Subaru who was honestly at this point afraid of how Garfiel would respond.
"Well ya'know how Reinhard and Julius have amazin' knight titles like th' 'Greatest Knight' or 'Sword Saint' so Otto 'nd my amazin' self were workin' on one for ya. Otto suggested we call ya 'Natsuki Subaru, Lolimancer and Harem Knight' " said Garfiel with once again a straight face.
Subaru was at this point dumbstruck at what just came out of his brothers' mouth, however as the rage built towards Otto for suggesting that horrid name, Garfiel continued and thereby prevented Subaru from lashing out at Otto.
"Ther' was a bit more like are there anymore members of yer harem beside Emilia and Rem? Are ya tryin' to get Crusch 'nd Anastasia into yer harem? Is Felt harem material because she's a candidate? Or is she an up coming weapon for the lolimancer?"
All that could be heard across the plain that contained a single ground dragon drawn wagon was an ear-splitting lament of a young man crying "OTTO!".
The scene back in the mansion had only slightly shifted from before the first part of Otto's recount, right now a particular silver haired half elf was glaring right at him while pouting, her face tinged just so ever slightly red.
"Otto what do you mean I look 'a little puffy', that's not a nice thing to say to a girl you know. I was reallllly embarrassed over the kissing thing and now you're saying I looked 'puffy' enough to pass for being pregnant?!"
Beatrice realized that she had the answer to Emilia and Otto's rift, she learned it from a book in the forbidden library. She realized if she didn't get Emilia out of her huff soon that she would derail Otto from moving on. To do this Beatrice employed all the tact and guile that she learned from her mother to save this situation.
"Don't worry about it I suppose, you have not gotten fat, in fact."
"Thank you, Beatrice" said Emilia as she calmed down a bit.
"I learned in the library about human anatomy, in fact. As a half elf it would apply to you too, I suppose." Making Emilia look at her quizzically.
"It would explain your past puffiness, I suppose" and after squinting at Emilia as if examining her, Beatrice continued.
"It would also explain your current puffiness and indignant behaviour, in fact. You're experiencing your time of the month, I suppose."
Upon hearing this Emilia turned bright red once again and was left speechless.
"Beatrice-sama, please remember your tack in front of Emilia-sama."
"It must be your time of the month too, I suppose…" huffed Beatrice at Ram's reprimand.
A slight air of silence filled the room before Petra interrupted to ask a burning question that she had.
"Ram-nee-sama what's a harem?"
"It's something that disgusting men try to group their multiple love interests into because they can't commit to just one. Perverts"
"Why wasn't my name mentioned, I wanna be in Subaru's harem!" Said Petra with a hmmph as Ram looked at her with her face stricken in utter disgust that her mouth hung open and eye twitched.
Otto than took this as an opportunity to continue before Emilia recovered from her embarrassment.
The trio at this point has arrived at the town of Dragga in the late afternoon. Otto's business in this town was to find something that could only be acquired here, a special white powder called Kokane. The powder was considered a controlled substance in Lugunica, and hence it could only be found in shady and isolated places like Dagga. Lugunica restricted Kokane because it had a nasty habit of destroying lives as its user became so addicted, they resorted to crime to raise funds to buy it, but those who could afford it relied upon it heavily for increased energy, focus etc.
Now Otto had a specific reason for wanting to get his hands on it now that he was the Minister of Internal Affairs for the Emilia camp. He frequently was up all-night working on various mountains of paperwork or doing organizational work like in Sanctuary. Otto had heard from Natsuki-san about a famous businessman from his world, he was known as "The Wolf of Wallstreet" and he relied heavily on something like Kokane, cocaine to get through the day. Because of this Otto had decided to take after the habits of other more successful businessmen, so that he could become like them.
Arriving at the famed Dagga market the trio first headed towards the place Otto had heard through some other merchants, a place that sold Kokane.
They arrived in front of a large stall with a sign saying "Lil' Jimmy's and Chuck the Chungus' Lemonade". Right behind the counter holding a wide range of wares were two very different sized men.
"Welcome I'm Lil' Jimmy and my partner here is Chungus Chuck, what can we do for you" said one of the men.
The man who had spoken was the larger of the two, he was easily 1.5 times Subaru's height but was bald, had a big bushy beard, yet spoke with such a tiny and high pitched voice you would think he was a little girl. His partner however was a tiny man, about half of Subaru's height with a long ponytail, well manicured nails. He also wore a golden fleece jacket with gold chains adorning his neck, yet like his partner his voice definitely didn't fit his frame. When he spoke Otto and Subaru instantly stepped back a bit in fear, for his voice was so deep it was like it resonated down to your very soul.
"Oi, ya listening to Lil' Jimmy, state yer business or scram." Said Chungus Chuck somewhat angrily.
"Uh, I- I'm here to pick up a package for Otto Suwen."
"Why didn't you just say so man? That'll be 2 holy coins" Said Lil' Jimmy merrily while patting Otto on the shoulder.
After receiving his 'stuff' Otto turns to Subaru and Garfiel and lets them know the rest of the plan.
"I'm going to go load this up in the wagon, feel free to check out the town. I prearranged accommodations via letter at the inn in town. Let's meet up there in an hour for dinner."
And with that the trio went their separate ways.
"Beatrice, what is a controlled substance?" asked Emilia, having regained her composure after her earlier bought of puffy pouting.
"It's something generally taken for pleasure like alcohol, but more dangerous, I suppose. The term is used for things banned in Lugunica, in fact." Said Beatrice calmly.
"Otto, Subaru and Garfiel are just little kids. You shouldn't bring them to dangerous places that sell illegal things. I think some of your behaviour has rubbed off on them and that's why they are acting like juvenile delinquents."
"Who says juvenile delinquents anymore…." Mumbled Subaru in his drug induced slumber.
"Subaru, Subaru! Are you awake" called out Emilia as she stared at her still unconscious knight.
"Whatever he took is still wearing off, in fact. He should wake up soon, I suppose." Calmly said Beatrice once again.
"What exactly did Subaru take and how much, in fact?" questioned Beatrice towards Otto
"After stowing the stuff in the wagon, I lost track of Natsuki-san and Garfiel-san until dinner, so I have no idea."
Upon hearing that Otto didn't have an answer Emilia once again started pouting, acting more like a child than the trio she was supposedly disciplining. However, Beatrice took this as an opportunity to poke fun at the person who was always teasing her with Subaru.
"You wouldn't want to have your face stuck like that; I suppose. You'd be called the Puffy Princess of Pouting, in fact."
At this Emilia turned completely red as everyone giggles a bit at Beatrice's tease. While suppressing a laugh Otto continued his recount of the past days events.
Otto and Garfiel were sitting at a table in the inn eating and drinking for the first time since they left the mansion. Otto had been waiting for Subaru and Garfiel for a fair bit before Garfiel showed up, and so before eating he had just been drinking to pass the time, leading to him drinking a few tankards too many. Since Otto was getting really drunk and Subaru was MIA the rule of "Don't give Garfiel alcohol" had gone out the window. He was slowly but steadily mowing his way through pint after pint of fermented milk, something he accidentally encountered when he asked the barkeep for just milk, only to end up with an alcoholic equivalent. Although normally they would hold at least some concern over the missing Subaru, but they were hammered enough at this point that everything just seemed great. What was even more out of place was how Otto was already drunk enough when he arrived to not give a single care to how Garfiel was wearing the same gold chains and gold fleece jacket as what Chungus Chuck was wearing.
Although up to now the atmosphere in the inn had been incredibly jovial with lots of laughter and other sounds of merriment, everything went dead silent when the door opened.
In through the door walked a beautiful woman. She had long black hair and fair skin, although her eyes could be described as mean looking this didn't detract from her beauty in Otto's opinion. She wore a long black dress with long sleeves that covered her arms all the way to her wrists. She wore thin heels, but even without them she would be taller than Otto.
As she walked through the tavern everyone's eyes were glued to her, the room had gone quiet to the point that you could hear a pin drop. There was a slightly unusual sway to the way she walked, like someone who couldn't quite see right. This made it clear that she was clearly on something, but these thoughts were quickly dashed from Otto's mind when he realized that she was sauntering straight towards where he and Garfiel sat.
She sat right in the chair that they had saved for Subaru, where she leaned forward with both her elbows on the table, placing her chin on her hands. She did this while fully facing and leaning towards Otto, ignoring Garfiel as if he wasn't even there. Seeming to get the hint, the somewhat hammered Garfiel gave his brother a wink before getting up from the table and disappearing into the crowd who had gotten back to their drinks.
After Garfiel had left the two alone the mysterious woman ended the silence between them with her seductive voice.
"My, my it seems I've caught the eye of the Illustrious Otto Suwen, not often we get heroes in our little town."
"H-her-hero?" said Otto as he pulled on his collar, clearly showing how nervous he was with this close encounter.
"Yesss Otto-kun, the tales of you facing Gluttony in Priestella are quite famous you know."
Now Otto was completely captivated by the mysterious woman and he realized that he didn't know her name.
"Miss, may I know your name by chance?"
Upon hearing the question, the lady looked sown at the table and smiled while tracing circles with her finger and than answered Otto's question.
"Natsumi, Natsumi Schwarz"