2185
The TARDIS (parked on Illium)
Normandy SR-2

"Keelah!"

"Spirits!"

"What the hell-"

"By the Goddess." That one was more of a soft, whispered exclamation than the others, who had basically yelled the minute they stepped inside. Well, Liara did have some idea of what to expect - while Shepard, Garrus, and Tali had been completely surprised.

The Doctor sat back and grinned as he watched the four of them wander around the TARDIS. It never got old, watching newcomers react to the various unbelievable aspects of his ship. In fact, he was glad that they had all responded so decisively, expressing their wonder and amazement. He liked reactions.

"How is this possible?" Tali asked. She had been the most taciturn previously, but the Doctor was finally starting to get a read on her. Watching her walk around, he was realizing what he should have from the beginning: ships were the way to a quarian's heart. As the others stumbled around, varying degrees of blindly, Tali had gotten her bearings right away and seemed to be trying to identify as many moving parts as she could. The Doctor was surprised to see her getting it right, more often than not.

"Don't touch anything," the Doctor said, and for the first time he read Tali'Zorah fully and clearly: she glared at him through her helmet.

"As if I would," she said indignantly.

"Yes, you're right. I'm sorry. Should have known better."

Garrus had poked his head down a corridor and came back to the control room. "How big is this … place?"

"Big," the Doctor replied.

"How does it all fit?"

"It's basically another dimension inside the TARDIS. Which stands for Time and Relative Dimension in Space. Creating a little pocket of consistency that can go anywhere."

Garrus' mandibles moved, but the Doctor couldn't quite tell what the expression was supposed to be. "Amazing. Think about the potential for infiltration work! Just get behind your target, open the door, open fire…"

"I am not," the Doctor said, "letting you use the TARDIS to kill people more effectively." He also wasn't going to tell Garrus about the Hostile Action Displacement System. That would just give the turian even more ideas.

"But you want to help us against the Reapers," Garrus said.

"That's different."

"I don't really see how."

"I do not mind helping you destroy the Reapers, because they are a threat to every living thing everywhere," the Doctor said. "But I'm not going to pop in behind a band of mercenaries."

"What about the Collectors?" Shepard asked.

"I'd consider that. Under the right circumstances."

Garrus snorted. "Are there wrong circumstances with the Collectors?"

"I still don't know much about the Collectors, so yes, there could be," the Doctor said.

"So," Tali said slowly, "you can go anywhere in this."

The Doctor was happy to turn the conversation back towards something that would let him show off. "Yes. Here to there in an instant. It also travels through time."

"Time? You mean … it could take me back to Rannoch, before the geth war? I could see the homeworld? The real homeworld?" Tali was talking much faster than she had before. "I could tell them not to build the geth, and…"

"Stop right there," the Doctor said. He always had to mention this. "No, you can't. It's part of your history already. If you stop the events that lead to your people becoming migrants, then you might never have been born. Along with many other things that can't be foreseen. I might be willing to take you to Rannoch, but only if you promise not to interfere."

"This time travel business must be complicated," Shepard said. "How do you avoid mucking up the past? Or … the future, for that matter? But if it's the future, it can still be changed…"

"Your future. Someone else's present. Most of the time I can tell if I'm allowed to mess with things or not."

"Allowed? By whom?"

"Time."

He paused. "Sometimes the TARDIS herself."

"That's… confusing."

"Yes, it is. Good thing I've had lots of practice at it." The Doctor spun around. "Now then. Let's go to the Normandy. Commander Shepard, where's a good spot to park the TARDIS?"

"The shuttle bay, I guess," Shepard replied. "Probably the most open space there."

"Wait - if you're going to the Normandy-" Liara began.

The Doctor grinned and paid no attention to what was almost certainly going to become a protest. "Right then." He threw a switch, and the TARDIS lurched into motion.

"Unidentified object in the shuttle bay."

Joker looked over at the holographic image of EDI next to him in the cockpit. "Say what?"

"Unidentified object in the shuttle bay."

"Okay," Joker said slowly. "I still don't get it. We're still docked. There hasn't been a hull breach or anything. So how come you think there's something wacky in the shuttle bay?"

"Because there is, Mr. Moreau. I cannot explain how this occurred, but I am certain. There is an unidentified object in the shuttle bay."

Joker sighed. Shepard was still out on Illium, so he pressed the intercom button for Miranda's office. "Miranda? EDI says something weird is going on in the shuttle bay. Could you check it out?"

"Something weird?" Miranda repeated.

"That's all I know," Joker said, exasperated. "Just check it out, will you?"

"Fine. Tell Jacob to meet me there."

"So I'm a messaging service now, am I?" Joker grumbled, but punched the button for the armory. "Jacob. Something weird in the shuttle bay. Miranda wants you to help check it out."

"On my way, Joker."

Miranda Lawson was rarely surprised. Oh, she couldn't predict everything that was going to happen, but she had become very good at taking things in stride and adapting to different situations.

The sight of a blue "police box" in the shuttle bay was extremely surprising. Miranda just stared at it for a moment, wondering how it got there and what it was doing. Then she remembered why she knew to call it a police box - the Illusive Man had mentioned something like this shortly before the Lazarus Project had ended abruptly.

"So he did it," she murmured softly. It still seemed absurd that this … thing … in front of her was actually capable of traveling through space -and time. Miranda's mind started churning through the possibilities.

"Who did what?" Jacob asked, coming up besides her, then stopping and gaping at the sight in front of him. "Whoa."

Miranda shook her head, trying to clear the disbelief. "The Illusive Man. Told me to be on the lookout for this."

"And what the hell is this?" Jacob asked, gesturing to the police box.

Miranda opened her mouth to reply, but shut it again as the door opened and Shepard walked out.

"Shepard?" Jacob asked. "What the hell!"

"Funny, that was my reaction," Shepard said dryly. She stepped out and was followed by Garrus, Tali, an asari that Miranda didn't immediately recognize, and another human. No. If the Illusive Man had been right, an alien who looked human.

"We're on the Normandy!" Tali exclaimed. "That was … like a mass relay. Only there was no mass relay, it was just-" she raised her arms and made a swooping gesture. "Noisy and bumpy. Like a quarian ship. I want to do that again!"

"How do you all fit in there?" Jacob asked.

"Other dimension. Or something like that. He didn't explain it very well," Garrus said, looking at the newcomer. "And I still say that it could be very useful-"

"We'll discuss it later, Garrus Vakarian. Now. Who would you be?" the stranger asked, looking over Miranda and Jacob.

"Are you the Doctor?" Miranda asked him.

Everyone except the Doctor turned to look at her in surprise. "Ah, good, someone who's heard of me!" the stranger said. "Except … wait. Do you work for the Illusive Man?"

"Miranda Lawson, and yes," she replied.

"So would this ship be considered a Cerberus operation?"

"Yes."

"Right then." The Doctor closed the door of his police box behind him. "Let me make this clear to you, and I'll make it clear to him if necessary. This is my TARDIS. Just because I'm coming to help Shepard does not mean that I give you, or anyone else with Cerberus, permission to poke at my TARDIS. You lot can't be trusted with its technology. If you try to do anything, I will find other ways to help Shepard. Is that clear?"

Miranda schooled her face into a neutral expression. "Crystal. I don't know if he'll like it, but he did put Shepard in charge, so-"

"What the man said," Shepard said, picking up the cue smoothly. "No one pokes at the TARDIS."

"I have recorded these instructions," EDI said. "Rest assured, Doctor, your ship will be safe."

"Oh, the ship speaks!" the Doctor said. "Am I right?"

"You are. I am EDI, the AI of the Normandy. I am pleased to make your acquaintance."

"AI," the Doctor muttered. "Interesting."

"Shepard, the asari justicar Samara has arrived," EDI said.

"Okay," Shepard said. "Jacob, Miranda… thank you for the caution. You can come with me to help get Samara settled in. Tali, can you take the Doctor to Mordin's lab?"

"No problem," Tali said.

"Mordin?" the Doctor asked.

"Our head scientific researcher," Jacob said. "Professor Mordin Solus, former Salarian Special Tasks Group."

"Right." The Doctor looked as though he was struggling to figure out exactly what that meant.

"I'll meet you there when I'm done with Samara," Shepard said. "Liara… you're welcome to stay on board for a little while. I'm sure Joker would like to see you. And Dr. Chakwas."

"Oh, you're Liara T'Soni," Miranda said, finally placing the asari. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"You were onboard the first Normandy," Jacob said with a respectful nod.

Liara nodded. "I was. I am working as an information broker on Illium now. But I am glad to see Shepard again."

"I still have one more person to pick up on Illium, so you can leave with us when we go to find Thane Krios," Shepard said to Liara.

"And we need to meet my contact at Eternity," Miranda added. She wasn't prepared to say more in front of the others - it was too important, and she wasn't letting anyone have any more details than they needed.

Shepard cast a glance over at Miranda and nodded. "Don't worry, Miranda. I haven't forgotten."

"Yes, that will work," Liara said. "I can't spare too much time … but I won't pass up this opportunity."

"Okay. Elevator's this way," Shepard said.

The Doctor was looking forward to meeting Mordin Solus, the "scientific researcher". He liked those types. He had a vague image of what salarians should look like, but Mordin's appearance still surprised him. Instead of the two horns, Mordin only had one - the other was flat, as though it had been chopped off at some point, and he had scarring on his face.

"Tali! New crew member?" the salarian said.

"Dr. Solus, this is … the Doctor."

"Hm. No other name?"

"No, just 'the Doctor'," the object of discussion said cheerfully.

"Non-medical?" Mordin inquired.

"Yes."

"Good. Less chance of confusion with Dr. Chakwas." Mordin stood and gestured to a chair nearby. "Sit. Need baseline readings for protection against seeker swarm."

"The seeker swarms are what the Collectors use to immobilize their captives," Tali explained. "Mordin developed a counter-measure that protects us when we go out on missions."

"Yes," Mordin said, nodding vigorously. "Do this for all new members. Saves time. Never know when there will be fighting."

The Doctor settled himself in and prepared to look smug.

Mordin's left arm flashed orange, as Garrus and Tali's had during the fight. Now that the Doctor was studying it up close, he recognized it as an omni-tool. It was actually some sort of holographic overlay that could still be manipulated. He decided he wanted one.

Mordin pressed a few buttons and held the arm up to the Doctor, moving over his body. His already large eyes widened even further. "Two hearts! Not human?"

"No," the Doctor said, grinning.

"Know of no other species that fits parameters," Mordin said.

"I'm a Time Lord."

Mordin's eyes got even wider, which the Doctor would have said was impossible a moment ago. "Time Lord. Astounding implications. Must know more. For now, continuing with examination. Two hearts - redundancy, like krogan?"

The Doctor nodded.

"Interesting respiratory system. Pulmonary tubes - greater oxygen stores? Core temperature lower than human." The omni-tool continued to glitter as it moved over the Doctor's body. "Fascinating."

"Is he always like this?" the Doctor asked Tali, who was still watching.

"Yes," Tali replied.

"Saves time. Speech completely intelligible," Mordin said, almost indignantly. "Enough data for seeker swarm protection. Processing now. Results soon. Explain more about Time Lords? Species, origin, abilities?"

"I'll cover that in a minute," the Doctor promised. "As soon as Shepard gets here. There's a lot to explain, and I was hoping for some of your input as well. I'm told you're the smarty-pants around here."

"I think that's my cue to leave," Tali said, "before my head explodes from all the jargon that's about to be thrown out."

"Not jargon! Scientific terminology," Mordin said.

"That's just a fancy way of saying jargon."