2185
Normandy SR-2
Kodiak Shuttle

Shepard exited the briefing room, rolled her shoulders backward, and then drew herself up straight. She couldn't help but feel nervous about what the Illusive Man had just told her. She'd made a career of charging off into the unknown, but something about this seemed too easy. A turian ship just happened to damage a Collector vessel? The Illusive Man just happened to get this information at a time when he could send Shepard off to investigate?

The Illusive Man was too smart not to see the dangers in this, but all Shepard had gotten from him was confidence. Was that just his usual attitude of playing everything close to the chest, or was he truly not seeing how convenient this was?

Shepard shook her head. No use worrying about it now.

"Coordinates punched in. Let's go find us a Collector ship," Joker said.

"Thanks, Joker. Can you have Garrus and the Doctor meet me in the armory?" Shepard asked.

"No problem, Commander," Joker replied.

Shepard turned left for the armory and walked over to Jacob, who saluted her. "Commander," he said.

Shepard crossed her arms and stared at him for a moment. "I'd like an explanation for your behavior back there on Illium," she said finally. "What the hell were you thinking, Taylor?"

Jacob winced. Good, that had struck home. "I - Miranda was going to shoot Niket-"

"Yes, and I was going to stop her," Shepard said. "I didn't want her to have that on her conscience. Niket could've given us more information about what Henry Lawson knows. But instead, you put a bullet in his chest, of your own initiative. I thought you knew better, Jacob. That was stupid and reckless. I'd have expected something like that from Zaeed, not you."

Shepard watched as Jacob struggled with what to say to that, finally settling on, "Yes, Commander." Which was probably the smartest thing he could have said.

"Go speak to Miranda," Shepard said, and was a bit too happy to see the look of horror that flashed on Jacob's face at that. "If she tells me that you're fit to come back, I'll believe her. Until then, you won't be coming on any missions with me. Dismissed."

Jacob saluted, then turned to exit the armory. As he walked out, Garrus came in, walking over to stand next to Shepard. "I heard about what he did. Light a fire under his ass, did you?"

"Only a small one," Shepard admitted. "I sent him to Miranda so she could finish the job."

"Ouch. You've got a devious mind, Shepard." Garrus leaned back against the wall. "So what's this about?"

"I'll explain in a minute, as soon as -" Shepard cut off as the armory door opened once more and the Doctor walked in. The human - no, Time Lord - looked around with a vague expression of distaste.

"Doctor. Settling in okay?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, fine," the Doctor replied, waving a hand around and continuing to examine his surroundings.

"Good. I just got a tip from the Illusive Man about a Collector vessel that was damaged by a turian patrol and, apparently, abandoned," Shepard said. "We're going to check it out. Doctor, I assumed you would want to come with us, and that's fine with me. However, I'm afraid I have to insist you be armed this time." She opened one of the lockers and pulled out her pistol. "This is the M-6 Carnifex Hand Cannon. It's one of my guns. Slow rate of fire, but each bullet packs a powerful punch. I think we've got enough time to fabricate one for you, but if not, I'm fairly confident Mordin would let you use his."

"No," the Doctor said.

Shepard had a bad feeling as to where this was going, but chose to act obtuse for the time being. "Not a pistol? All right, how about a submachine gun." She placed the Carnifex down. "M-9 Tempest. Much more ammo. Good for suppressive fire."

"No, I won't take a gun," the Doctor said, practically spitting the words out. Garrus looked on, amused. "I don't do guns."

"I have to tell you, you're not going to get far with us if you take that attitude," Garrus said. "All of us carry two weapons, at a minimum, wherever we go. It's saved our asses in more than one situation." Shepard suspected he was remembering their trip to Purgatory to get Jack.

"I don't do guns," the Doctor repeated.

"Then what do you use to defend yourself?" Shepard asked.

"This," the Doctor said, almost proudly, taking out a small metal object from his coat pocket. It was barely longer than his hand, and had a green light on its end. Shepard couldn't begin to guess what it was. "My sonic screwdriver."

Garrus coughed out a laugh. "Sonic screwdriver? That sounds like a drink you'd get at Afterlife."

"Does it shoot laser beams?" Shepard asked, unable to keep a straight face despite her best efforts.

"This has gotten me out of more scrapes that you've ever been in, Commander Shepard," the Doctor said, his expression completely serious.

That was, abruptly, too much. He just looked so ridiculous standing there insisting he didn't need a gun because he had a screwdriver, wearing a tweed jacket with a goddamn bow tie. Both Shepard and Garrus burst out laughing. Shepard was doubled over thinking about how a little metal thing could possibly be half as effective as a gun.

When Shepard had regained control, she saw the Doctor standing there with his arms folded, looking serious. "Okay," Shepard said. "I don't really believe you, but - hell. I've tried to make you understand the risks, and if you won't carry a gun, then that's on your head, not mine." She paused, wiping a stray tear from her face. "But will you at least take an omni-tool?"

"I've already spoken to Mordin about that," the Doctor said with a decisive nod. "He's got an extra one that he's modifying for me."

"Has he figured out what's flammable or inflammable yet?" Garrus asked, which was just amusing enough to get Shepard cackling again, and it wasn't long before Garrus joined her.

"You're a pair of wits, you two," the Doctor grumbled. "This is the problem with soldiers. They always think with their guns."

Shepard took a few deep breaths to try and regain control. "You don't know me well yet, so I'll let that slide," she said. "But, anyway, I'll come with you to see how Mordin's doing on that omni-tool. Garrus, can you tell Grunt he's coming with us? We'll meet you both at the shuttle."

"Grunt. Oh, this should be fun," Garrus replied, his mandibles flaring in amusement.

"You're bringing someone named 'Grunt'. This is because I made that crack about soldiers, isn't it?" the Doctor asked.

Shepard grinned. "Yup. I think you'll like him, Doctor."

—

The Doctor was put out that some of his rather tidy preconceptions were being shattered, but he supposed he should've expected that.

Take, for instance, the creature in front of him that responded to the name "Grunt". The Doctor had, apparently, taken the information Liara gave him about krogans and mentally lumped them in with Sontarans without a second thought. A belligerent and militaristic race that wanted to be a part of every war that existed, obsessed to the point of being somewhat comical and predictable.

The creature standing in front of him was not really like a Sontaran, physically, and the Doctor could already tell there was an attitude difference as well. The krogan was the single largest being that the Doctor had encountered since crossing the rift into this universe. He was a lumbering hulk of a beast, broad-shouldered and beefy, and the coloring of his - scales? - was almost pretty, slate blue-grey coloring over salmon pink. The Doctor was quite sure that he'd be snapped in half in an instant if the krogan was in the mood for it - physically strong and in no mood to tolerate fools. Still, no point in letting the krogan know that he was slightly intimidating. The Doctor had a lot of practice at hiding his feelings, after all.

"Hello, er, Grunt," the Doctor said, doing his best to look calm.

"Urdnot Grunt," the krogan replied. "Not Er Grunt. Never heard of clan Er. Maybe they became part of Urdnot. Sounds kind of similar."

" … Right," the Doctor said. "Well, anyway, it's, ah, nice to meet you. I'm called the Doctor."

"You can call him Grunt," Shepard called over her shoulder. "He's just still excited over being accepted as part of Clan Urdnot and wants everyone to know it."

"Urdnot Wrex is doing great things on Tuchanka," Grunt said. "I am proud to have him as clan leader. But I fight for Shepard. She is my battlemaster."

"Do krogan usually fight for others, then?" the Doctor asked.

"Wrex was a merc when he signed up with us," Garrus said. "He stayed on because he wanted to stop Saren. There's a lot of krogan who wander the galaxy as mercs."

"Wrex. Ah. Right. He was on the Normandy," the Doctor said, information finally seeping through to his conscious mind. "Now clan leader, you said. Well. Good for him."

Grunt took a minute to inspect the Doctor, walking around him, looking him up and down and frowning. "You are not in armor. And you carry no weapons. Are they … invisible?"

"Ah, no. I do not, in fact, have either weapons or armor. I don't need them."

Grunt frowned, an action that made the patterns on his forehead shift slightly. "I don't understand."

"He says he doesn't need them, and I'll believe him right up until he asks me for my gun to cover his ass," Shepard said, tossing a grin the Doctor's way as if throwing out a challenge. "One thing you will need, though-"

She fished in a nearby locker and brought out a mask. "Breather mask. Don't know what kind of atmosphere we'll find on the Collector ship. Best to be careful."

"Careful's not really in my vocabulary," the Doctor said.

Shepard sighed. "Yeah, I'm getting that. But take the goddamn mask, will you?"

It was a small enough thing to do, and the Doctor nodded, accepting the breather mask and tucking it into his pocket.

"Now, were you planning to bring your ship?" Shepard asked. "We're taking the Kodiak-" she jerked a thumb at the shuttle behind them "- and you're welcome to ride along, but I didn't know what you'd planned for the, ah-"

"TARDIS," the Doctor supplied helpfully, nodding in that direction.

Grunt peered at it incredulously. "That's a ship? That's barely bigger than my tank!"

"I'll show you around sometime, Grunt," the Doctor promised. "But, to answer your question - No. I do not plan to bring the TARDIS on board. Unknown alien vessel, best to leave it behind."

"Sensible," Garrus said with a nod. "That it, Shepard?"

"Just about," Shepard said, leading the group over to the shuttle and pulling the door open manually. She was first inside, followed by Grunt and Garrus.

"Do you fly the shuttle, Shepard?" the Doctor asked, climbing onboard.

"For something like this, where we're not going far from the Normandy, there's a VI that pilots it," Shepard replied. "Sometimes we need to have a person piloting - when we're landing on a planet, for example, and there's a couple of painfully young Lieutenants that drew that duty. I expect you'll meet them at some point."

"I'll go check the input for the VI," Garrus said, entering the cockpit.

The Doctor settled himself in a seat, and Shepard grabbed one of the overhead handholds. She waited for Garrus to come back and take a seat before she began speaking. "EDI's scans say that the Collector ship is deserted and powered down. Our primary objective is to get as much intel on the Collectors as possible."

"It's completely powered down?" Garrus said. "I'd love to know how the turians managed that."

"Maybe we'll find out," Shepard replied.

"If you wanted intel, why did you have me come?" Grunt asked.

"Because I don't trust this situation," Shepard said. "It seems a little too neat, which means that I want some firepower backing me up in case something goes wrong."

Grunt grinned. "Heh heh heh. That's more like it. I hope that Harbinger guy shows up. I'll tear him to pieces."

"Harbinger?" the Doctor asked. Nothing in the information he'd received from Liara seemed to be appropriate.

"There's still a lot we don't understand about the Collectors," Shepard said. "But there's at least one who's, somehow, able to possess others of his kind. Make them more powerful. And he likes to taunt me. Tell me that they're the 'harbinger of our destruction'. That's why we call him Harbinger. Don't know if that's actually his name, or if he even has a name." She sighed. "He calls me by name and says he's going to tear me apart."

"That is quite personal," the Doctor replied. "Been there a few times. Never gets easier."

The shuttle slowed, maneuvering in for a landing. "Helmets on," Shepard directed. "Mask for the Doctor. We don't know what we're going to find out there."

That, the Doctor thought, might be one of the most obvious things ever uttered in his hearing.