Oscar Pine lived a difficult life. Thrust into what was (at the time) a successful and popular web series, the farm boy from Mistral had a lot of catching up to do with our protagonists. After all, Teams RWBY and JNR had three whole volumes of development and story arcs to establish their characters. So what did he do?
Skip the backstory. Skip the motivations. Skip the goals. Just send him on a train straight to Haven Academy to become Ozpin's exposition vessel. Don't even show how or why he decided to stop arguing with the voice in his head and decide to listen to it. No time for that. No time for Yang either in volume 4, but that's an entirely different story.
So after spending an entire volume in a house in Mistral doing and saying absolutely nothing of importance, he gets to fight. The fight proceeds to ruin Hazel's character because, um, why are you siding with the queen of the Grimm when your sister died training to stop the Grimm? Isn't you beef with Salem and not Ozpin? Whatever, this is another story too, one I actually did! So go check out "Is Hazel Retarded?" after reading this story. Like, subscribe, and hit that bell button for notifications.
So anyway, where was I? I've been rambling for three paragraphs now and am kind of just doing this on the fly. No joke, in about 20 minutes I'll have posted this story up on FFN. That's how little thought or effort I put into this.
It was volume 6 now, and Oscar/Ozpin was being super shady. Remember how Ozpin is supposed to be morally gray? It starts here!
Qrow punched Oscar in the face. "How dare you make my life worthless and me an absolute failure!" the worthless and failure of a man yelled. "Because without you my life would have been so much better despite my bad luck semblance which wound up getting my future gay lover murdered by Ironwood!"
"No, that was your own sheer stupidity," Ozpin said. "And Robyn's. But that's yet another story for another time."
"Rawr," Qrow angered back.
"Hey, do they care about Oscar yet?" Jaune asked Neptune.
"Oh definitely," Neptune replied. "Poor kid just got punched in the face despite him not doing anything wrong. Major sympathy points there!"
"They didn't care," Morgan Freeman's voiceover voice said coolly.
"Damn it!" Jaune said. "Looks like I'll need to do this myself!"
Later on in Argus Jaune slammed Oscar up against a wall. "This is for Pyrrha!" he never actually said, which is what fans have been wanting for two volumes now. "I'll never forgive you for manipulating Pyrrha and getting her killed in your war!" Jaune also never said, despite it being heavily implied that this is why Jaune doesn't trust Oscar.
"Oh this is good stuff," Neptune grinned, rubbing his hands together eagerly. "Yes, yes, poor Oscar is getting attacked by his own friends! People will have to care about him now, right?"
"They didn't," Morgan Freeman said again.
So Oscar had an existential crisis about his merge with Ozpin and it was super interesting. After all, he was losing all sense of who he was. Who would he be when the merge was complete? Would he even be Oscar anymore? Would he have his own individual consciousness? Or would he just become one with Ozpin?
Oh wait that didn't happen at all. His crisis was resolved off screen, but he got a new coat! Just like a Barbie doll, the all new Argus Vacation Oscar came complete with a brand new olive green coat! That's character development!
And yet, no one cared. Oscar was still a gigantic nothing and nobody. I'd say he was a giant pile of shit, but at least shit attracts flies. Nothing and no one is attracted to Oscar.
"Okay, we really have to step up our game," Jaune conspired. "We need to bring out the big guns."
"Totally," Neptune agreed. "And I think I have just the thing to do it…"
Fast forward to Ironwood shooting and attempting to murder Oscar. Oh no! Poor Oscar! All he was doing was trying to convince Ironwood to do the right thing, and he got shot all the way down to Mantle!
Wait, people are siding with Ironwood this volume? No! No! Bad fans! Stop thinking logically and slurp up what we feed you! Ironwood is bad! Stop agreeing with him!
"Damn it," Jaune complained. "What more do we have to do to make people care about Oscar? We had Hazel punch him. Qrow punch him. Jaune abuse him. Even Ironwood shoot him! What can we do?"
Neptune snapped his fingers. "Got it. Two words. Grimm. Abduction."
"Brilliant!" Jaune agreed. "That'll make people care, won't it?"
"It didn't," Morgan Freeman said yet again.
The hound Grimm beat the shit out of Oscar for 35 seconds without his friends lifting a finger to help him. Then the Grimm talked! It's Summer Rose, guys! IT'S SUMMER ROSE! IT'S SUMMER ROSE!
IT'S SUMMER ROSE!
IT'S SUMMER ROSE!
IT'S SUMMER ROSE!
IT'S SUMMER ROSE!
IT'S SUMMER ROSE!
Wait, even now people still aren't invested in Oscar? People out there are actually cheering that he's being abused?
"Have Salem zap him!" Jaune ordered.
Nothing.
"Have Hazel beat the crap out of him again!" Neptune demanded.
Nothing.
Face it, no one likes Oscar. No one cares about Oscar. Oscar is never going to be accepted by the fans. Somehow he's even less accepted than Jaune. That's a remarkable feat considering the headstart Jaune had with fandom hate.
We're on a mini hiatus now. I can't wait to see what crap they'll pull to try and make us care about Oscar next. Will it succeed?
"It won't."
The end.