The author's note got too long, so I posted it to my tumblr instead. Check out my account info for the link, since I can't put it here.
2185
Alarei/The Migrant Fleet
"Behind you, Shepard!"
Shepard took a breath to focus, then wheeled and launched herself at the geth who'd been about to shoot her. Biotic-blue light flared around her, electricity across her skin. She felt the impact and heard the sound of the geth's body hitting the floor. As she straightened herself up, she heard the familiar sound of Tali's shotgun discharging into the geth to ensure that it stayed down.
Shepard had to admire how Tali was holding up under all of this. Practically everything that had happened since boarding the Rayya had been a shock for her - but there she was, deploying her combat drone and urging it forward like a favorite pet.
"Prime!" Tali shouted, and Shepard resisted the urge to sigh. Of course there was a Prime to deal with. Tali redeployed her combat drone in front of the Prime, instantly grabbing its attention.
"Mordin, take out its shields!" Shepard yelled.
Mordin lifted his omni-tool. The orange flash was followed by an electric crackling sound as the Prime's shields went down. Tali's drone moved in and shocked it again, which stripped the remnant of its protection and caused it to stagger backwards.
Shepard took another deep breath, unclipped her missile launcher, then brought the Prime into her sights. "Stand clear!" she yelled, though she saw a moment later the warning was unnecessary. Both Mordin and Tali were keeping their distance. She fired.
The Prime staggered backwards under the impact of the missile. Shepard took a breath, made sure that the shot was lined up, and fired again. Sparks and bits of metal flew away from the Prime, one bit ricocheting off the wall and falling to the floor besides Tali.
When the Prime turned toward Shepard, she could have sworn that it looked angry.
"Here. Enjoy." Mordin lifted his omni-tool again and sent a ball of fire streaming at the Prime. Bits of shrapnel flew off in all directions as its armor broke apart. Now, they just had to keep its shields from recharging before they finished it off.
Tali's combat drone moved in closer, drawing the Prime's attention once more. Shepard fired the missile launcher again, and Tali was right there to follow up with a shotgun blast.
Shepard holstered the missile launcher and lifted her arm, feeling her amp hum as she sent a series of shockwaves towards the Prime. She saw it stagger, and try to right itself, before toppling over to the ground. The hum around her faded as she stepped forward, bringing her shotgun out in front of her in case she hadn't actually killed it.
She looked down at its face and saw the light in its head go out, fingers falling loose like a human's as it died. Shepard felt her stomach twist as she thought about Legion, onboard the Normandy. Had this Prime been like him? Intelligent, able to hold a conversation? With wants, needs, desires?
Killing sentient beings hasn't bothered you before, Shepard told herself. But somehow this was different. No time to think on it now - duty called.
Shepard turned and looked over at Mordin and Tali. "You two okay?" she asked.
"Unharmed, Shepard," Mordin said, nodding his head.
"I'm fine," Tali said, walking over to the console and looking at the blank screen. Her slumped shoulders suggested that she wasn't fine, and Shepard felt her heart twist again. She had to comfort Tali. No one else was there to do it, and it was obvious that Tali needed comforting.
Shepard walked over and placed a hand on Tali's shoulder. "I know it's been a lot to take in," she said, her voice soothing. "I wish I could give you more time to process it all. But if we don't get off this ship soon, they're going to declare us dead, and it will all have been for nothing."
Tali bowed her head over the console, fingers moving. "I know," she said. "Keelah, but I hate these political games. I can see both sides. I resented Admiral Koris at first, for speaking out against Father, but I can see his point. Admiral Gerrel is like family, my father's best friend, but I think about what he said and I remember the Reapers. The fate of the Protheans on Ilos. What Sovereign did to Saren's body at the end." Shepard tightened her grip on Tali's shoulder, and the quarian let out a long sigh. "I didn't want to admit that my people were wrong. But I can't deny it any more. The geth should not be our concern right now. It should be the Reapers."
"I'm sorry, Tali," Shepard said. That seemed to be the best thing that she could say. It was never easy, confronting the idea that your elders, the ones who supposedly knew better, were just as flawed as you were. Shepard had thought she'd learned that lesson before joining the Navy - but when Anderson had been forced out, when she'd learned of his past with Saren, it had made her gut wrench. She looked up to Anderson, practically idolized him. His story had taken away the halo she'd given him, and it seemed as though Tali was undergoing a similar realization.
"So am I." Tali straightened her shoulders, and Shepard took a step back, giving her some space.
"Commander Shepard," EDI's voice said from Shepard's omni-tool. Shepard resisted the urge to curse.
"Go ahead, EDI."
"I have been trying to contact you for some time." EDI sounded annoyed. Funny that an AI could have emotions.
Shepard sighed and kicked the piece of the Prime nearest her in annoyance. "We're on a ship full of geth. Bet the Prime was jamming all communications out. I hope it's nothing too urgent - we've still got the quarian admirals to pacify before we can come back."
"I am not sure of the urgency. The Doctor and Samara have left the Normandy."
Shepard blinked twice, then groaned and brought her hand up to rest on her forehead. "Great. I should have seen this coming, after I told him he couldn't come with us to the quarian fleet." She straightened, shaking her head. "I don't suppose you know where?"
"When I became aware that the TARDIS had left, I accessed the feeds from their conversation just before departure. They seek Samara's daughter Morinth on Omega."
"I … wait, what? Her daughter? The dangerous fugitive she was chasing on Illium is her daughter?"
"Yes. Morinth is an Ardat-Yakshi."
Mordin had come up to stand besides Shepard, and she heard him inhale sharply. "Name comes from old asari legends. Demon of the Night Winds. Genetic condition. Ardat-Yakshi melds are not equal rapport of most asari. Their meld overwhelms partner's nervous system. Causes hemorrhaging. Often death. Ardat-Yakshi become stronger, more powerful, with each victim. Not to mention that condition itself is addictive. Ardat-Yakshi want to meld, and the longer it goes on - more deaths. Dangerous serial killers." He actually looked somewhat troubled.
"Thank you, Mordin," EDI said. Was it Shepard's imagination, or did EDI sound a little annoyed? Had she been looking forward to delivering that information? "As I said, they left before I became aware of their intentions. If they went straight to Omega, they are likely already there. And as you said, Shepard, you cannot return immediately."
"So there's no point in going after them." Shepard was really annoyed with the Doctor. What gave him the right to do these things - just go running off on his own like that? "I'm going to strangle him. Wring that skinny little bow tie-wearing neck of his."
Mordin coughed softly. "Would advise you not to dwell on it, Shepard. Believe he can handle himself. As can Samara. Need to focus on task at hand."
Shepard sighed, but she knew that Mordin was right. "Fine. Thanks for telling us, EDI."
"You are most welcome."
As much as she hated to admit it - as much as she burned with the need to run after that lunatic and shake some sense into him - they needed to focus on the task at hand. So Shepard turned her attention back to Tali, who had seemingly not been paying attention to the conversation with EDI. She saw that Tali had accessed some of the recordings on the ship's central computer. A nervous knot settled in Shepard's stomach as she caught a voice she now recognized as Rael'Zorah's.
"I promised to build my daughter a house on the homeworld. I'm not going to sit and wait while the politicians argue."
"We'd have an easier time of it if Tali'Zorah could send back more working material," another quarian said.
"Absolutely not. I don't want Tali exposed to any political blowback." Rael'Zorah's voice was firm and decisive, leaving no room for argument. "Leave Tali out of this. Assemble new geth with what we have. Bypass security protocols if need be."
The recording ended there, and Tali bowed her head and gripped the railing tightly. "Father," Tali said quietly. Shepard wasn't sure if Tali noticed that she and Mordin were paying attention again. For that matter, she wasn't sure if Tali had really processed that Shepard had just had a conversation with EDI on a completely different topic. "Father, what did you do? How could you … how could you have been so foolish? Keelah. Bypassing safety protocols … not informing the Admiralty Board … oh, Father." She leaned back against the wall and brought her hands up to cover her mask, like she was weeping in her hands. Without thinking about it Shepard pulled Tali in for a hug, just like she'd done over Rael'Zorah's body. Eventually, Tali gave one long shudder and pulled herself up straight, backing out of the hug.
"Tali, what are we going to do?" Shepard asked in a quiet voice. "This clears your name … but at his expense. And I know you wouldn't want that."
"I don't know, Shepard," Tali said. "Maybe … maybe it's worth it. Maybe I should take the blame for this, to preserve his legacy."
"Unacceptable," Mordin said sharply. Both Tali and Shepard turned to look at him. "You are being foolish now. Brilliant mind. Privilege to work with you. Can see how much your people mean to you. If cut off -" he inhaled, and shook his head. "Would crush your spirit. Drain brilliant spark inside you. Unacceptable."
"Mordin's right," Shepard said, nodding decisively. "So, we can't blame your father, and we can't blame you. Is there any way we can blame someone else?"
"No," Tali said, shaking her head. "That wouldn't be right either."
Shepard nodded. "You're right, I'm sorry." She sighed and leaned back against the wall. "This trial," she said after a long moment, "it's not really about you. Or your father. It's about the geth. About trying to get Rannoch back. We need to use that."
"How?" Tali asked.
"Let's start by having you give me a quick refresher course on quarian history."
The TARDIS (leaving Omega)
The Doctor watched Samara's movements for signs of change. She had been pacing around the TARDIS since they left Omega, barely dodging the minions Aria had put on watch for him. That was a conversation he really did not want to have. He supposed he'd understand her actions some day, but that didn't have to be today.
The Doctor felt as though he knew Samara in a way that few other people could claim. The idea of that statement being reciprocal was another topic he didn't really want to think about. (He'd gotten very good at avoiding certain unpleasant topics, over the years.) He wondered whether he was actually looking for signs that she had accepted her daughter's fate, or signs that she accepted what he had done.
People who spent any length of time around him got used to the idea that the Doctor often acted without consulting anyone, without heed for anyone else's feelings, simply doing what he felt was right. In some of his lives, he had brooked no argument, made his stances firm and unyielding. There was some temptation to do that now, but …
He knew Samara. He had seen her through Morinth - Mirala's - eyes. He saw the different sides of her. She had glimpsed the different sides of him. How much of that she understood, he did not know.
Finally, he could take it no more, and spoke into the silence. "She gets a second chance."
Samara halted her pacing and turned to look at him. "One might argue she does not deserve that second chance," she said.
"Not me," he said, deliberately using a bright tone to try and lighten the situation.
"I can see that," Samara replied. She turned her gaze back towards the console of the TARDIS. "So much power," she said. Her voice was light, wondering, thinking. "So many possibilities."
"You see why I love it," the Doctor replied. "The idea of being able to go anywhere, do anything… and know that there will be an adventure on the other side."
"Show me," Samara said. "Show me… something wonderful. Something new."
The Doctor's heart swelled with excitement as he bounced over to the controls and started fiddling with them, bringing up coordinates. Something wonderful. Something new. He could do that. He could most definitely do that.
Rayya/The Migrant Fleet
Even though she could hear the Admirals all but declaring them dead, Shepard took a moment to put on her game face. She squared her shoulders, lifted her chin up, and let out a deep breath. She could do this. The trick was to appear confident. If she appeared confident, it didn't matter how nervous she actually was.
Shepard strode forward into the noisy room, her gaze going immediately to Admiral Daro'Xen. The quarians in the audience murmured and conversed with one another as Shepard's group moved to the front of the room.
"Sorry we're late," Tali said dryly. Shepard had to smile, grateful that her helmet hid the expression. Really, they hadn't been on the Alarei for that long, and the Admirals were ready to write them off. Quarian politics made no sense.
Shepard waited for the hubbub to die down a little before she spoke. "Tali'Zorah saved the Alarei. I hope this proves her loyalty to the quarian people."
"Her loyalty was never in doubt. Only her judgment." Of course it was Zaal'Koris who spoke. Shepard suppressed the urge to shake her head, instead taking another deep breath. It looked like they would have to go to the Plan B they'd cooked up on the way back from the Alarei.
"Perhaps Tali'Zorah can offer something to encourage more trust in her judgment," Shala'Raan said.
"Did you find anything on the Alarei that could clarify what happened there?" Zaal'Koris asked, his voice intense.
Shepard kept her gaze fixed on the Admirals as she strode forward. Her heart was pounding in her ears as she made herself look at each of them in turn, wishing for the hundredth time that she could read quarian body language better.
"This trial is not about Tali," she said in a clear, ringing voice. "It is about the geth, and the mistakes you made in the past. Those mistakes - the attitudes that you have held since the fall of Rannoch - will lead to the end of your people, if you do not abandon them."
The bold statement certainly got the crowd buzzing, and even the Admirals exchanged glances. "Commander Shepard, the issue under discussion is Tali'Zorah's actions," Zaal'Koris said.
Shepard refused to let him regain control of the situation. "Tali'Zorah vas Neema, for she will always think of herself as vas Neema no matter what you name her, has done more to raise the profile of the quarian people and generate goodwill than any other quarian since the fall of Rannoch. She helped me defeat Saren and the geth at the Citadel. For a people who are always thinking about the greater picture, the well being of their species instead of one individual, that fact should outweigh all of the others. But because you are so focused on the war that was started three hundred years ago, about fighting the geth, Tali is forced to defend herself and her actions. I am forced to defend one of my closest friends and most reliable comrades. This is an example of why the quarians will never take Rannoch back."
The room had fallen silent. Quarians were still exchanging glances, but very few of them dared to speak.
"The Reapers are returning," Shepard continued. "Your people know the geth better than anyone else. When have you ever seen anything like the ship that attacked the Citadel two years ago? When, in three hundred years, have geth ever made a push outside of the areas they control? This is not typical geth behavior. And if you weren't so focused on a war that you can't win, you'd have realized that already. The Reaper threat is far, far worse than the geth threat ever was. The geth pushed you off of your homeworld. The Reapers want to destroy every species in the universe. Including the quarians. This is why you should not try to retake Rannoch." She took a deep breath. "I have seen, first-hand, how the Reapers work. If you do manage to take back your planet, if you do manage to drive the geth off, it will leave you weakened when the Reapers come. You will not be able to stop them from attacking and wiping you out." Shepard let that statement sink in before continuing. "It's what you've been trying to avoid for three hundred years, and the push for war against the geth has only made that prospect more likely. As a Council Spectre, I beg you not to take this step. Every ship will be needed in the fight against the Reapers. When the fight against the Reapers is over, then you may make plans to take back Rannoch. And you have my word that I will do everything I can to help you with that task."
Shepard paused to look over at Tali. She had wanted to argue that the geth weren't actually the threat quarians thought them to be, but Tali had insisted that most of the quarians couldn't accept that right now, and it would hurt her case. Tali was right, of course. She had to sell something that the quarians actually wanted to buy. And that meant making grandiose statements that Shepard hoped to hell she'd actually be able to back up, when the time came.
Her heart in her chest, she waited to see what they said.
The TARDIS/Eagle Nebula
The Doctor felt like he could have spent years contemplating how these two universes could be so different in some ways, but so similar in others.
He had chosen one of those similarities to take Samara to - what the people on Amy and Rory's Earth called "The Pillars of Creation". The door to the TARDIS was open, showing the Pillars in all their glory. Three individual columns arising from a somewhat frayed base, reds and blues bleeding together in the uneven pillars as they rose through empty space. Stars of different ages and compositions twinkled in the background.
Samara was standing in the open door, head tilted up slightly, her mouth open in an expression of awe and wonder. She was beautiful. Ancient, yet energetic - graceful, yet deadly. He felt that traitorous stirring inside of him again. River Song had a claim on him. He didn't know what the nature of that claim was, but it wasn't in him to betray something like that. The Doctor briefly wondered if he was feeling this attraction because Samara reminded him of River. But, he realized, that was only part of it. There was a calm serenity about Samara that River could only dream of achieving, child of chaos and conflict that she was. Asari had taken millennia to build themselves an image of serene power.
The Doctor stepped forward at the same time that Samara spun around, in one of those impossible coincidences that he usually scoffed at in fiction. But it was real, it was happening, and her shining face was inches away from his. He tried to make himself back away from this moment, but it was too powerful. He felt her exhilaration, he felt her acceptance of his actions. Her joy at the knowledge that her daughter could live and cause no more deaths that would be on Samara's conscience.
Their movements were near-mirrors of each other, heads bending with only minimal hesitation, bringing their lips together. He'd gotten into the habit of depositing casual kisses on friends and allies as a sign of affection and delight. This was not a casual kiss. It was one that was filled with possibilities, the promise of more if he let it be. If he opened his heart.
If he forgot the claim that he had let River stake on him.
The Doctor broke the kiss, fearing the hurt and rejection in Samara's eyes … and did not see it. He saw regret, pain, determination. The same emotions that he was feeling.
"I cannot," Samara said quietly. "Though my daughter is dealt with … I am still a Justicar. I belong to something greater than myself."
I can't betray the woman I love. I can't compromise my sense of integrity for current desires. He didn't say it aloud, and he did his best to keep that from leaking out of his head. He should have realized sooner that the meld had gone deeper, forged a bond between them. As long as he was near her, he would know what she was feeling. And he had just experienced how dangerous that could be, how much temptation it would throw in his path.
The Doctor swallowed. "I understand belonging to something greater," he said.
"Shall we return?" Samara asked.
"That would be best," the Doctor said. Then, in an effort to steer them away from the perils of emotion, he said, "But not for long."
Rayya/The Migrant Fleet
"We find Tali'Zorah not guilty on all charges."
Shepard let out a sigh of relief and resisted the urge to pull Tali in for a hug. There would be time for that later.
"And the rest?" she asked, failing to keep some triumph from leaking into her voice. "The war against the geth?"
"We will… take your words into consideration," Zaal'Koris said.
"Please," Tali said, speaking to the Admiralty Board for the first time since returning from the Alarei. "Please listen to Shepard. You have seen how she respects us, our traditions. I do not want to see my people die needlessly, no matter how much we all want to return to the homeward."
"I said we will consider it, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy." Zaal'Koris sounded somewhat angry, and even though she wanted to walk up and punch the bastard in the face, Shepard touched Tali's arm and shook her head slightly. No use pushing the stubborn fools any further.
"Thank you," Shepard said. "We have trespassed on your hospitality long enough. We will be returning to the Normandy now."
The TARDIS (returning to the Normandy)
"Quick stop," the Doctor said, opening the door of the TARDIS. He'd parked in the Infirmary rather than the shuttle bay to try and save a bit of time.
"What on Earth is happening here?" a smooth voice said from behind the TARDIS. The ship's physician - what was her name? He'd apologize to her later. He let enthusiasm and momentum carry him forward into the AI core, where the geth Legion was still standing.
"Come along, then," the Doctor said. Legion fixed its gaze on the Doctor and tilted its head to the side in a quizzical gesture. "We're going to the Migrant Fleet. The quarians need to see that the geth are more than just machines."
"Shepard-Commander …" Legion began.
"I don't give a fig for what Shepard wants," the Doctor said bitterly. "She has no right to order me around. We're going."
"Doctor, Commander Shepard has already returned to the Normandy," the AI said. "Tali'Zorah's trial is over. She was cleared of all charges. Your help is not needed."
Your help is not needed.
Fury boiled in the Doctor, anger and frustration and a growing sense of impotence. He had been sitting on his heels - why? Why wasn't he out there with the TARDIS, leading the charge against the Collectors, or the Reapers themselves? He jumped headfirst into situations all the time. It was practically his motto.
"Tell me what happened," he ordered the AI. "I know you have some idea. You were monitoring their omni-tools, right? What was it that Tali was accused of? What did Shepard do to clear her name?"
"I am certain that Commander Shepard would wish to tell you the tale herself, Doctor," the AI replied.
"Oh, you're refusing because I didn't sign up with Cerberus, and that's the ultimate directive you follow," the Doctor said. "Fine. Where is Shepard? You can tell me that much, can't you?"
A long pause followed. The Doctor wondered if the AI was going to balk at that, as well. Then it spoke again. "She is in her cabin. Typically, that means that she does not wish to be disturbed."
The Doctor ignored the warning and headed for the elevator. He was going to have some words with Shepard.