AN: Oh man, I apologize for the super delayed update. I hope everyone is staying safe in these trying times. If anyone needs someone to talk to, my inbox is always open. Leave a like, follow, review, anything is appreciated. Hope you enjoy! (Also, at the end of the chapter, I will put the YouTube video I used as reference musically)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters or music mentioned.

Potential TW: liberal alcohol consumption

Chapter Six: Whatshername

To feel the match burn down to my fingertips is a romance pried from the flame. Any type of lyricism is ruined by the emotion which stains the plainest of snows in your violent and bleeding red. I wanted your touch, soft as rain, but instead felt the torrents of the things we whispered under velvet skies. My eyes remain blind, and my heart open. Maybe when, maybe then.

3 am.

Beca blinked slowly. The lids of her eyes weighed heavy but refused to rest. Her chest rose in slow, shallow breaths, being careful not to disturb the sleeping stranger next to her. Chloe's arms were still wrapped loosely around her; if Beca thought too much about it, which she would not, Chloe's unapologetic smothering was almost comfortable. Almost. Beca shook her head and slowly began the sensitive process of leaving her bed unnoticed. The sleeping redhead was out cold. Lucky bastard. Almost as soon as Chloe put her head down on her silk pillowcase, her chest evened into a blissful slumber. The DJ felt her relax and whispered a prayer to share the same fate, even for an hour, a minute, a second. No luck, but then again, when was she ever lucky?

Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, her bare feet met the cold wood floor. If the Xanax had worn off, she would have noticed how frigid her home was, but the goosebumps covering her body weren't caused by the lack of warmth. Taking the familiar late-night hike to her in home studio, Beca stumbled to the second door on the right. Why she didn't make it the first door was beyond her. She collapsed into her desk chair and relaxed as much as she could with how tense her muscles felt. Reaching for her desktop, the screen powered on and lit her pale face in a blue hue. Her body, at least, followed a strict schedule that she could depend on. Work, get drunk, work, get high, take a Xanax, and sleep until 3 am, work some more, get high, rinse repeat. Did she mention work?

Though she lacked sleep, she appreciated the witching hour. The world goes still, and no one would ever judge the troubled soul being denied peace. Bringing her headphones onto her head, Beca loaded her software and allowed delicate strings of melody caress her dulled body. She built layers, adding to her foundation, and allowing each wall of music to be strong and dependable. She liked to think of her mixes like she was an engineer. If she neglected to strengthen her base, the whole building would tumble down. And Bec doesn't let her mixes fail. She pulled out the keyboard from the desk and secured the wires fed from the computer. The gentle sound of her fingers on the keys melted into her bones; the exhaustion she feels bled into her music until she was dry of that weight. Fingers danced on keys; eyes fluttered gently against the melancholy song. She breathed heavily, finally allowing her lungs to fill in and collapse against her ribs. She didn't feel much of anything, really, but would rather feel nothing than something. Especially when that something is a tentative hand on her shoulder.

Beca turned around and took her headphones off. Breathe. 1. 2. 3. Beca wasn't anxious, she didn't feel her heart start in her chest, nor did she feel scared or startled by the presence of the redhead. Any upset she felt was overshadowed by the sleepy woman in front of her. "If you're looking for the bathroom, it was in my room." Beca drawled slowly. Chloe just stared at her, her blue eyes piercing the dark while remaining full of sleep.

"Why are you up? I was getting a drink of water, but you weren't in bed." She stifled a yawn and rubbed her eyes. Beca only blinked in response. "What are you working on?" she tried again. Beca shrugged before turning back to her computer. Chloe sighed quietly before moving to stand on Beca's right. She was overwhelmed with the different colors and buttons on screen and how Beca could make sense of it all. Though she couldn't hear what the DJ was playing, she could tell from her face that it wasn't the up-tempo club music she was used to hearing. "Do you need anything? I still want that glass of water, so…"

"A stiff drink if you're offering," quipped Beca, her eyes never leaving the screen. Chloe nodded before padding off downstairs. Beca removed her hands from the keyboard and let her arms hang in defeat. She couldn't think, let alone write, not with some stranger constantly finding ways to get under her skin. Breathe. It can wait. Chloe came back holding a glass of water and a bottle of Jack Daniels. Maybe she isn't so bad.

"I didn't know how much you wanted, and I figured you need it." Chloe trails gently. Beca looks at her, then the bottle, then back to Chloe's eyes. The redhead wanted to fidget under the stoic attention Beca paid to her, but she refused to give in, wanting to keep what little pride she had left. Beca took the bottle and set it next to her computer.

"There's a chair in the back corner if you're intending on staying." Chloe didn't respond, only grabbed the chair and set it down next to Beca's.

Chloe watched as Beca worked; her rapid movement of components across the screen put Chloe in a trance. The calculated eyes never strayed. She didn't know how much time passed before the brunette grabbed the bottle of whiskey and took a large gulp. She glanced in Chloe's direction and noticed how she was staring. Beca sighed before turning to meet her gaze.

"You already slept in my bed, Red. Might as well ask whatever's bothering you." She chased her words with another drink.

Chloe fortunately looked embarrassed at being caught and sipped her water. Beca was beginning to lose patience with her and was turning to start working again before she spoke.

"How do you know Anastasia?"

The DJ was surprised. She didn't expect that question, at least not so soon. Another drink. Breathe. "We went to high school together." Chloe nodded her head in thought, another question teasing the tip of her tongue. Beca only stared in reply, clenching the bottle in her hand.

"Are you two…" the redhead trails off and carefully watches grey eyes for a reaction. A relaxed brow twitched downward in a quick scowl before smoothing out. Chloe is fascinated by the amount of emotion a single movement expresses for the DJ.

"No, at least not conventionally." Beca sighs. "Neither of us are the same as we were, once. Before all of the mess, the fame, the bullshit. Things are very different from then." Beca tips the bottle to her lips once again, barely grimacing at the fire dripping down her throat. Her face is still schooled in careful stoicism, but she can't tell if its her own will or the magic pill's doing. She moves her eyes to glance over the monitor. She fiddles with arbitrary settings. A slow blink. Her hands rest on the desk, a ghost of a tap dancing on her fingertips. Breathe. If her chest could tighten, it would. It was too quiet, too still. Beca reached for her headphones and continued playing. She wasn't sure how much time had passed when Chloe tapped her shoulder again. Beca did her best to curb her irritation and slowly uncovered her ears.

"Would you be willing to let me listen?" Chloe's voice was gentle and quiet though each syllable fought exhaustion. The oversized shirt made her seem smaller than she was. Her hair, thrown in a sloppy bun, allowed tendrils of fire to frame her face. Small, pink lips lifted in the softest smile Beca had ever seen. How could she say no? Beca turned, avoided her eyes, and nodded in reply. She unplugged her headphones and resumed playing.

The light melody of a song began to fill the space; Chloe thought it to be vaguely familiar. Beca's hands, though small, adeptly traversed across white and black. You could see each movement of her hands elicited a different intensity, a different word to the phrase. The brunette's eyes occasionally fluttered shut, allowing the song pouring from her hands into her chest. Chloe was enraptured at the raw performance, the air charged by Beca's emotion being woven into the waves of sound. Her pale skin was flushed from the alcohol and her lips were parted, seeming to ask a question. The black around her eyes gave an impression of a skull rather than a beautiful woman. Chloe's eyes never broke from her face; she needed to memorize each twitch of Beca's skin to remember that she was human, too, regardless of the ethereal grace she displayed. Beca continued to play before she spoke.

"listen before i go," She said quietly. "Billie Eilish wanted me to arrange a piano cover to the song. I cowrote her last album." She kept playing. "Most people don't realize I produce and write more than I perform." Beca finished the song and looked over to see Chloe's eyes boring into hers. The worry lines were too deep for a woman that young. The shadows too dark. Beca couldn't pull away.

"You are full of surprises, Beca Mitchell."

Beca shakes her head with a small smile and reaches for the bottle of whiskey. Chloe's hand meets hers and softly rests it on top of the DJ's. Beca looks back up at Chloe, her red rimmed eyes holding a question. The faintest glimmer of something Chloe couldn't recognize wavered underneath.

"I know this isn't my business," Chloe hesitates when she sees Beca shrink even more into herself, "but why do you keep her around, Beca?"

"Who, Billie? I mean she's kinda my client-"

"You and I both know that's not what I meant."

Beca sighs. She pushes a weak hand through the stray hairs that fell into her eyes. Should she even entertain the question? One single misstep could ruin a career. She has never met this woman in her life; for all Beca knew, she could be an informant for a tabloid. One look into bright blue eyes, however, destroyed any suspicion Beca could potentially harbor.

"She's always been there for me." There. Short and simple.

Chloe snorts in response but remains quiet, silently urging Beca to elaborate. Another sigh.

"We met in high school. Fell in love. I went through hell and back and she was there. Fell out of love. She sticks around."

"You deserve someone who cares about you."

Grey eyes snap to Chloe who seemed just as surprised as Beca was.

Beca recovered. "You don't know me." The scariest part to Chloe was how adamant Beca seemed in proving her wrong.

"You're deflecting," Chloe replied.

"So what if I am? It's still true. You don't know me."

"Maybe not," Chloe admits quietly, "but I want to. If you'll let me."

Beca's brow furrows and she gazes wearily back at the woman in front of her. Perplexed barely covers the confusion she feels in response. Alarm bells quietly wail in Beca's head. It's because I'm famous. It's because I have money. Endless different reasons flooded behind her eyes and pounded her logic in a tidal wave of suspicion. She was succumbing under their relentless wave. Why would she actually want to know you? You're pathetic. She shakes her head. Don't be ridiculous, Rebecca. You aren't worth her time. Beca shuts her eyes tightly, her chest heaving in one long, deep breath. When she opens them, the grey of her irises were metal doors, locked tight. Chloe felt a chill roll over her body.

"You can get to know me, too," Chloe suggests. "My name is Chloe Elizabeth Beale, I'm 26, and I'm a nurse at Children's Hospital Los Angeles." She gives Beca a small, encouraging smile in retaliation to her blank stare; it would take a lot more than petulant silence to dissuade her decision. "I'm originally from North Carolina and I have two brothers: one older, one younger." Chloe pauses again, her eyes never leaving the DJ. Bored eyes search Chloe's and she struggles to stay still. "I can talk all night…just so you know…" It was worth a try. If Chloe's learned anything tonight, she knows that Beca would rather throw herself from the balcony than have her ear talked off. And she took the bait.

"For fucks sake, what do you want from me, Chloe?" Beca snapped. Its not like she was trying to be inherently cruel; she could be prickly, sure, but she wouldn't describe herself cruel. Besides saying her name for the first time tonight, her eyes swirled in a storm of emotion Chloe noticed; of what she couldn't be sure. Gotcha.

"Nothing!" Chloe exclaimed, her hands gesturing wildly. "I don't want anything from you. I just want to talk and be a person to you: not a fan, not a client, nothing. No motive other than genuine human connection. Scout's honor." She made an 'X' over her heart and waited with bated breath.

Beca pursed her lips. The last few functioning braincells she possessed were tired; tired of thinking, tired of denying, tired of being totally alone. She had her team and she had Anastasia. But do they really count? Her label, her clients, her fans, all faceless pawns in an audience. Her life was a show: entertainment and income. Who did she really have? She licked her lips, grabbed the bottle, and swallowed heavily. Chloe's enthusiasm slowly fizzled out, leaking like a balloon.

"I'm Beca Mitchell, I'm 23, and I am a musician." It took a few seconds for Chloe to process what was happening, but a large grin painted her face in radiant happiness. Beca tried not to notice. "I'm originally from Florida. Only child. Unless you count step siblings, which I really don't." Chloe kept smiling, lips pulled taught and wrinkles at the corners of her eyes. The blues of her eyes danced in mirth and shined like sapphires. The DJ fidgeted in her chair; the way Chloe was staring at her was increasingly uncomfortable and getting creepy. Beca cleared her throat and tried to look away.

"Have you eaten tonight?"

"What?" Beca looked at Chloe, confused.

"Have you, Beca, eaten food tonight?" Chloe repeats. Her eyebrows raised in amusement at how clueless the small woman could be. Chloe watched her eyes focus in understanding before she shook her head. "Well that's good 'cause I'm starving. Come on!" Chloe lightly wraps her hand around Beca's right bicep and drags her out the chair. The brunette stumbled and struggled to regain her balance from the momentum used to haul her into the kitchen. The alcohol in her system was also making a reappearance in her movements and vision. Why me…

Chloe deposited the drunken DJ on one of the bar stools before heading straight to the refrigerator. "Hey, Becs?" She asks. Her only response is a grunt. "Do you own anything other than Redbull and soda?" Another grunt. Chloe turns back to Beca and sees her head in her hands on the granite counter. She sighs quietly before picking up her phone and opening DoorDash. "Are you capable of ordering food right now, or do you need me to do it for you?" Beca sits up, her eyebrows lowered in a scowl. She stares into Chloe's eyes intently; her breath catches in her throat at being looked at so passionately. Beca's lips slowly part, a ghost of hesitation, before erupting in one of the most powerful burps Chloe has ever heard. It was quickly followed by a full-bellied laugh and the slapping of her knee.

"You should have seen your fucking face, bro," she wheezed in between laughs. Chloe stared back, unimpressed; but if she was being honest, Beca's laugh was the richest, warmest sound she had ever heard. The laughter died down, but thankfully the smile still remained on her face. "Here, take my phone and order whatever you want. No tomatoes and no broccoli. Oh, and no fish sauce. Don't ask." Chloe nods and takes the phone from Beca's outstretched hand. It was already unlocked displaying a younger Beca grinning widely with a guy that had a goofy smile. He was wearing a grey 'Jaws' t shirt with an arm thrown around her shoulders. His hair was brown and messy, the ultimate boy next door. The next thing Chloe noticed was the 5 missed calls and 17 text messages from Anastasia. Something inside her twitched, feeling plucked and tweaked. It wasn't her business, she kept telling herself. She doesn't care. Chloe quickly found the delivery apps and busied herself with picking out dinner. Her finger scrolled through the options as Beca quietly tapped an unheard beat on the counter. Chloe hid a smile to herself and continued to order.

"Hey, Red?" Chloe gives an airy hum, her eyes still busy with the screen. "I'm sorry I said your hair was from a bottle."

"No hard feelings. It happens a lot. I'm sorry for being a bitch to you and Anastasia. Actually, just you." Beca laughs again and settles into a small, yet content smile. It's the most at peace that she has felt in a while.

"Yeah," Beca says, running an absentminded hand through the mess of hair thrown on her head. "I don't blame you. I think the only thing I regret is not letting you beat her ass." Chloe snorts, her eyes briefly leaving the screen to peer at Beca from the top. Beca winks at her before continuing. "It would have been like super hot."

Song Used:

Billie Eilish - listen before i go | The Theorist Piano Cover