A/N: Due to Donna's "departure", I decided to change a few things, as you saw/'ll see. Thank you, Cassie, for beta-ing this story, all the encouragement and the amazing art you did to promote it.

2

Wounds

She passed through the lobby of the building she used to call home, wearing a navy blue dress that highlighted her new physic. The building hadn't changed much, but the doorman wasn't the same. The people passing by weren't the same. She walked, head held high, and spotted him by the elevators with Louis. When did they become besties? At least Tom Ford was still a current thing, she thought. Approaching them both she kept her gaze on him, lifting one eyebrow in question.

"I came by to see how you were," he answered the unspoken inquiry. She took a step closer narrowing her eyes.

"Are you kidding me?" she asked in disbelief.

"No. I j-just wanted to make sure that you..." she cut him off very softly.

She knew that if she raised her voice, even a little bit, she wouldn't be able to stop screaming. She took another step closer, narrowing her gaze on him even more.

"You didn't come by to see how I am. You came by to see how you are. Because you know in your heart what you did and wanted to make sure you're okay," Harvey paused and looked at her, taken aback by what she said.

"I buried you. Consider that for one second," he pleaded, even knowing it was useless. She was hurt beyond repair.

"You did a pretty lousy job at burying me since I'm standing right here. And don't use rational thought as a defense with me. Not after everything. We're not in court, Harvey, you and I live and breathe madness every day on the job. There's no rational thought."

She shook her head. She couldn't believe him. She looked at him with pain and disgust. Something he had never seen in her eyes. She continued,

"I can't even pretend to have a conversation about anything else with you. " she gasped, but continued with a strained voice "What comes down to is faith!" His face showed no apparent emotion, yet, she could read him like a book. His lips were pursed, his eyebrows were furrowed. Pain, shock, and a bit of anger were reflected in his eyes."What I was hoping you would say is, 'Donna, I gave up. I lost faith'."

She was looking even more hurt and upset, and yet she wouldn't dare raise her voice."What you wanted ... was closure...and there is not a chance you are getting that from me! "

Harvey was still pensive, looking hurt and tense.

She was having a harder time keeping her emotions out of her voice now; her voice was strained, hoarse, and still low.

"I'm not gonna say I understand... I'm not gonna sympathize with you and tell you how hard it must be for YOU... but... You wanna know how I am!?" she laughed bitterly and no humor reached her eyes. "I am horrible, Harvey. I've been ripped apart," a strained whisper left her mouth," because...if it had been me... " the tears she was desperately trying to hold back clouded Donna's eyes and she gasped, "I would have waited... Like I waited for the last ten... Oh, sorry! Twelve years."

Louis just kept staring at the couple, mouth agape, unable to move.

Harvey blinked several times, swallowing painfully. Pain, regret, and loss echoed in his eyes. He was trying to hold back tears himself. Holding back the sobs in her voice now, Donna continued, "I would have found the truth...I wouldn't have given up on you! " betrayal lighted her face. She was bolstering with anger herself. A hardness gleamed in her eyes and through a harsh whisper, punctuated by shaky breath, she concluded walking away," and now I realize... what an absolute waste that would've been!"

Harvey looked wounded by her last remark. An empty sadness filled his eyes as he looked down with his brows furrowed and his lips in a thin line as if remembering. Louis just petted Harvey on the shoulder and guided him out of the building.

Trying to reign in her emotions, refusing to cry in front of him, she entered the elevator.

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

(My Immortal - Evanescence)

On the ride to the fiftieth floor, she let some tears fall, cleaning them with a handkerchief she had pulled out of her handbag, knowing somehow it would be needed.

When did her life become a horror movie, she didn't know, but she was done with it.

Jessica was waiting for her by the reception desk. Her immaculate white dress accentuated her beautiful skin and features. She looked at Donna and knew the other woman was trying her best to keep her emotions in check.

The day went by very quickly. Jessica gave her the position of COO, saying she deserved it, and if things were different, she would have gotten the position years ago anyway. However, she would have to wait to get a seat on the table, since the bonus she got to start wasn't enough to pay her cut at the firm.

Donna couldn't believe that she actually deserved all of that. Doubting herself and everyone around her was something she would have to get passed but despite her emotions, she accepted the offer. This firm, and people like Jessica, Louis, and Rachel made her feel safe. And safety was something she had also lost.

She would have an office now and space to fill (with things she did not have anymore). But she met Alex, Samantha, and other people like Gretchen and some associates, who seemed nice but looked at her strangely, probably already knowing her history.

Overwhelmed was an understatement of what she was feeling. Sure, she was glad, but to what expense did she get all of it, she didn't know. And she was tired of not knowing.

In her empty office, with the sun already set and some employees' personal files in hand, she knew what she had to do, or better, who she would have to reach, spotting the blonde walk by her glass door,

"Samantha!" she called, making the senior partner halt her step and enter the empty, barely lit room.

"Donna, hey! Nice office! Can't wait to see what you'll do with it."

"Thanks, but I need you to do something for me. I know we don't know each other, but I'm willing to pay you for your service. And you also can't tell anyone," Donna said, in one breath.

"Tell me what you need," Wheeler demanded without hesitation.

Donna had read all about the blonde's past and she could bet there wasn't a thing Samantha couldn't do when it came to uncovering the truth.

"I need you to investigate the last two years of my life."

The lawyer wasn't surprised. She also knew Donna had been considered dead. Had helped people fake their own deaths, but she'd never encountered someone who hadn't done it knowingly or had it done to them.

"I figured you would ask me something like that," she said with a smirk.

"Tell you what," she continued, "I'll do some digging and see what I can find. Then we discuss payment."

Donna was taken aback by her willingness. She thought it would require more persuasion to convince the partner.

The thing was, Samantha was dying to find out what happened to the woman and she also wanted to know what kind of person the redhead was since she would have to work with her.

"Thank you, Samantha." The now COO said, with kindness in her eyes. Samantha nodded and headed her way.

After talking to Samantha, Donna went home to bed and slept at a reasonable hour for the first time in two weeks. However, some dreams gave her a restless sleep. She dreamt about snow. A lot of snow and some kind of office which was unfamiliar to her. She also dreamt about her trip to the small room that she'd had the news of her death delivered to her. That day she opened her eyes already inside a helicopter and with a doctor telling her to stay calm. He told her some residents of Idaho had found her in an alley. The police ran the photo the hospital took of her through their facial recognition database and sent her to Manhattan. Even though the report they had found on her was said deceased, nobody said a word to her about it. She kept listening to the doctor saying she was alright and would be fine once the drugs they found in her system wore off. She was feeling well when she saw Harvey, just scared since she had never flown by helicopter nor woken up by a doctor before. His news was the thing that had broken her and made her wake up startled and sweating that morning.

She got up, took a shower, and went to the kitchen wearing a dark green dress. She saw Mike brewing some coffee still wearing his pajama pants and an old band t-shirt with a frown. "Good morning?" she tried.

"Morning. Sleep well?"

"Kind of. You?" she replied sincerely.

"You know, I've been wanting to talk to you alone..." he said, ignoring her question and still making coffee, "...and Rachel just went to pick up some pastries for us, so..."

"What is it, Mike?" she asked harsher than intended, but she was tired of people walking on eggshells around her.

"Before you came back to us..."

She held her breath but remained her gaze on him standing by their kitchen island.

"He was planning on coming back to work with Jessica because there he would have more resources to find you. This was about four weeks ago when your face appeared in a newspaper."

She looked at him bewildered.

He finished brewing the coffee and handed her a mug sitting across from her."Everyone was shocked to see someone so similar to you in the paper. Before, we really thought you were dead," he said picking up the wrinkled newspaper, probably from how many times it was overlooked. He pointed to the picture in question. It was black and white, the focus was on a couple of farmers, but in the background, on the left corner, she saw herself, looking wide-eyed as if afraid of someone following her. She was wearing a hat and some flannel shirt, and jeans. It was definitely not her normal attire, but it was unmistakably her.

"Harvey was the one to see it first. And he hadn't had a panic attack in so long that when he called me I thought his mother had died," he continued with the story, even seeing her shocked expression.

She didn't know about his panic attacks.

"He didn't tell his wife he saw your picture knowing she would be worried about his well being. But now he is not so sure if he would go back to the firm or keep working at the clinic." He looked at the door, worried his own wife would see them having this conversation. "Rachel didn't want me to tell you..." he explained the reason to his secrecy, "... because she said it would burden you more, but I think you should know all the facts. Especially after whatever you said to each other yesterday."

She looked at him questioning.

"He didn't tell me anything, but I knew he went to see you and the look on his face didn't go unnoticed," he explained again, not letting her get a word out. As soon as she opened her mouth to ask about the newspaper, they heard the shuffling of keys outside, which made Donna grab the piece of paper and stuck it inside her bag before Rachel could be spotted entering the kitchen.

Rachel entered her house complaining about an old lady who took forever to pay her products, not even noticing the looks Donna and Mike were exchanging. They started having breakfast as soon as the pastries were put on the kitchen island. Mike and Rachel kept on talking about something Donna was not paying attention to.

She was thinking about him and if she should face Harvey about the firm.

...

Her morning went by very quickly after one too many meetings and lots of paper-work to go through.

She also started looking at new places to live, but it was difficult to find a good apartment at a reasonable price in NY. It was only her first day at her job, but she had the sense that she could do it.

Despite feeling relieved the job was something she would be able to do, there was a dull feeling in the back of her mind, for she knew she had to face Harvey eventually and it would be better to just get it over with. Thus, at her lunch break, she ditched Rachel saying she had some things to take care of and went to the clinic. She had to know about the panic attacks, about the newspaper and worst of all, about the can opener. Rachel had said only her parents and herself had been to the storage unit. How was the can opener there?

She was nervous and anxious, looking at him through a panel glass. The building was not a place she would have pictured Harvey working at, but again, nothing was normal anymore. His office was way smaller than the one he had and through his window, another building could be seen. His basketballs weren't on display, but his mother's painting was hanging on the wall. She wondered who helped him hang it.

Harvey looked up from his desk, noticing someone there. They could always sense when the other one was around. He was shocked to see her. His expression turned anxious and tense as if steeled against another outburst. He didn't know what to expect from her.

He sighed and she met his eyes. Entering his office, she softly, sort of wistfully and painfully asked, "You're working in the clinic, huh?

Harvey paused, answering cautiously: "Yeah."

"I know that you're thinking about coming back...to the firm," she said, avoiding common greetings. He still had the same expression on his face. Waiting to find out what she wanted and why she was there.

"On the off chance that your hesitation is out of some courtesy to me...you can forget about it. I...I mean... I can handle you being there. Don't worry about me," she tried to explain. He looked off, as if in deep, troubled thought, then looked down and away, to his mother's painting.

He stood up from his worn leather chair and took a step or two closer to Donna, while she folded her arms across herself in a self-protective gesture. He sighed again, then spoke mildly defensive, "the other day you said I gave up on us because I didn't have faith; that somehow you didn't mean enough to me."

Pained, she tried to explain in a half-whisper, ignoring the 'us' part, "when I said that, I was— "

"No, let me finish."

She looked at him, sorrow and pain reflected in her eyes.

"After you died, I used to talk to you...like you were still around. Literally, out loud, whole conversations about...nothing..." lost in memory he continued, "the weather… should I get a new car? Should I have another drink...? " Donna was clearly hurting for him as he continued to speak, meeting her eyes, "then one day...you started answering."

He shook his head slightly, his voice turning unsteady and hoarse. "I mean, I could hear you in my head...like you were right next to me, Donna. As if we were talking through the intercom."

She was holding back tears as he was.

"And although rationally I knew I was a guy who stayed up nights drinking, talking to his dead secretary and best friend... Still, I couldn't stop." Through watery eyes, he continued, "so, before you tell me you can handle me coming back to the firm, there are two things you need to know: first...is that I missed you so much... it nearly killed me."

Eyes still watery, her face awash in pain and sorrow, she could barely hold his gaze.

"And second," he shook his head," is that I don't regret moving on with my life."

She was devastated by what Harvey went through but she still nodded, gathered her strength, and left. Hearing him say those things broke her just as much as the news of her death.

Her head was spinning when she reached the lobby with shaky legs. She didn't expect him to say so much, but he still had moved on. He had missed her, but not enough. Not in the way she wanted him to miss her, because as far as she was concerned, two people who really care about each other, wouldn't move on at all.

Donna couldn't feel the tears on her cheeks, she only felt her heart hammering in her chest. If it wasn't beating so fast, she would have thought it was actually broken. She touched the wall by the elevator to steady herself. That was not why she went there, but at least it was all out in the open.

"Are you alright, ma'am?" The receptionist of the building asked, startling the redhead who hadn't seen him approaching her.

"Fine. Thanks", she said straightening her dress and walking out.

She had to move forward as he did, but first, she had to give Samantha the newspaper. In order to move on, she needed to know why she lost so much.

A/N: Don't forget to let me know what you all think.