It was late. Blaine knew he should go to bed, had told Kurt he was going ages ago. When they'd ended their skin routine and phone call, Blaine had planned on settling in for the night, knowing he was getting up early the next morning to practice his duet with Rachel. Then Sebastian had called, wanting to ask Blaine's opinion on a charity event the Warblers were planning on performing in.
Blaine had no idea how the conversation had sparked from there. It had been an hour that they'd been on the phone and Blaine couldn't help the way he was yawning every few minutes. There was something so nice about talking to Sebastian. The two seemed to get each other and they could talk about anything and everything. While Kurt was particular, about their conversations, about their routines, about everything, Sebastian was so much more casual. Blaine felt like he didn't have to watch what he said with Sebastian as much.
That wasn't fair to his boyfriend. Blaine knew that. Kurt was great. Blaine loved him. And he shouldn't be spending so much time on the phone with Sebastian so late at night. He just didn't want to end the call.
Blaine let his eyes fall closed, curling up on his side as he listened to Sebastian talk about the best Christmas gift he'd ever received – a guitar that he'd been begging for, only to spend hours trying to learn and failing.
"The great Sebastian Smythe admitting he's not good at something?"
Sebastian laughed and he sounded nearly as tired as Blaine felt. "I guess I'm just exhausted, admitting such things. What about you? What was your best gift you ever received?"
Blaine hesitated, trying to think about it but honestly, he already knew the answer. He let out a slow breath. Not even Kurt knew this story. "When I was young, before I could remember, my grandmother gave me this big book of fairy tales… All I remember is it was blue with gold lettering with the ugly duckling on the cover and the title was simply 'Fairy Tales.' It's impossible to try to find for that reason. I've looked. I loved that book and read it until it was falling apart. I lost it somewhere… I don't remember where. I wish I could find it again. I know it wouldn't be the same book but… I'd like to at least be able to have it. I know that sounds silly."
The two talked a little while longer, Blaine trying to remember what fairy tales were in the book, Sebastian interjecting with silly stories of reading fairy tales in his own childhood.
By the time they got off the phone, Blaine was mostly asleep and he curled around his pillow.
That night he dreamed about being a fairy tale prince, marrying Sebastian. It was embarrassing and he didn't even write it down in his dream journal, not wanting Kurt to ever see it.
Blaine crossed his legs underneath himself as he looked down at the present in his lap. He had been unsure of coming to the Warblers Christmas party, participating in the gift exchange, but he was glad he'd come. They might've had their issues, a rock salt slushie and a show choir competition, but that was all over with. The Warblers had apologized for the slushie and had won Sectionals and Blaine accepted that. They were all still friends.
The gift exchange was anonymous and randomly drawn although most of the Warblers knew each other well enough to be able to guess who gave each gift.
Blaine stared at the gift in his lap, watching the rest of the Warblers ripped into their gifts, wrapping paper and ribbons going flying. He caught Trent's eye, giving him a little grin before looking down. All around him were exclamations of excitement and he was glad to be here. It was better than moping at home, the way he had been. He pulled apart the tape with care, tearing the paper back and freezing.
He knew who had given him the gift.
The book of fairy tales was in a lot better shape than the one he had read as a child but otherwise it was exactly the same. The gold lettering was shiny on the cover and he reached out to run his finger along the title. Just 'Fairy Tales,' just like Blaine had known.
"A book of fairy tales? Who got you that, do you think?" Thad asked at his side.
Blaine cleared his throat, pulling the wrapping paper back over the book and shaking his head. "I have no idea," he said, lifting his head and looking away when his eyes caught Trent's across the circle. The other boy knew Blaine too well for Blaine to look at him too long. Instead, he turned towards Thad, who was already distracted by his own present, a board game, it looked like. Blaine took a breath, standing up and pulling the book close to his chest. "I… I'm going to…"
He trailed off since nobody was really listening to him anyway. The party was already beginning to break up since the students who were going home for the holidays were in a hurry to leave the school. Presents were the last of the festivities and Blaine wasn't the only one who was going to grab his jacket.
"You know who gave you the gift, right?" Trent asked from behind him and Blaine should've known.
There was no real reason for Blaine to be so secretive about the present except it felt intimate for Sebastian to have bought him this. Honestly, Blaine didn't even remember telling him about the book although he obviously had. Nobody else knew about this. Nobody else knew a lot about Blaine that Sebastian did.
Trent smiled knowingly when Blaine stayed silent. "He made some stupid excuse about not being able to come to the party but gave me the present to make sure you got it. I didn't see. What was it?"
"A book that I'd mentioned to him before. Do you know if he's home?" Blaine asked, reluctantly setting the book down so he could pull his jacket on. He didn't want to think about why Sebastian had been unwilling to come.
"As far as I know," Trent told him with a little shrug, stepping forward to give Blaine a hug. Blaine returned it immediately, smiling as he squeezed Trent for a moment. "Don't be a stranger. We could always use your expertise here."
Blaine smiled and nodded, picking the book back up and letting out a slow breath. "I will. Thank you, Trent."
Trent nodded, giving Blaine another quick hug. It was nearly half an hour before Blaine was able to actually leave, the time spent saying his goodbyes and promising to keep in touch. He resolved to follow through, remembering just how much he missed them when he avoided the Warblers.
When he finally got to his car, he sat in it for another few minutes, just staring at the book.
He hadn't had a decent conversation with Sebastian in nearly a year. Ever since Michael Jackson week, that slushie, the two hadn't been in communication. Even though Blaine had forgiven Sebastian after Regionals, he still hadn't trusted Sebastian again, hadn't wanted to annoy Kurt with their friendship. Of course, Blaine didn't need to take Kurt's feelings on his relationships into consideration right now, did he?
Blaine pulled his phone out, getting directions to Sebastian's house. He didn't know what he was planning on saying to the other boy, didn't even know if he really wanted to talk to him except… of course he did. Blaine had been wanting to talk to Sebastian ever since Regionals, since his apology, maybe since the slushie.
A deep breath and Blaine turned the music up as he pulled out of the parking space, rehearsing words in his mind. It was pointless, he knew that. Sebastian had a tendency to take him by surprise so anything he prepared was going to be thrown off as soon as Sebastian opened his mouth. That had always thrilled Blaine for some strange reason. Kurt was something Blaine knew, somebody Blaine was comfortable with. Blaine knew what to expect so much of the time. Sebastian was the opposite.
Sebastian's house wasn't what he'd expected. The other boy constantly talked about a lavish childhood, a father who threw money at their problems, but his house didn't look much bigger than Blaine's own. On the higher end of middle-class, certainly, but by no means incredibly wealthy.
"Am I really doing this?" Blaine asked himself as he stared up at the house. There were two cars in the driveway, one he recognized as Sebastian's and one he'd never seen before so it was likely that Sebastian's family was there. What was he going to say? Blaine knew of them but had never met them.
It had always seemed too intimate to go to each other's houses. Their friendship had been spent at coffee shops and public rooms at Dalton. Anything else would've made Kurt even more irritated with their friendship than he already was.
Blaine didn't want to think about Kurt. That hurt too much.
Instead, he steeled his nerves and got out of the car, walking up to the front door to knock heavily. The door was answered quickly, a little boy standing in front of Blaine. He had sandy hair and bright blue eyes as he gazed up at Blaine. A twin, Blaine remembered from conversations with Sebastian. The other was a girl and they were Sebastian's half-siblings. That was all Blaine remembered and he wished he could at least think of a name.
"Can I help you?" the little boy asked, raising his eyebrows as he looked up at Blaine. He looked a lot like Sebastian, the same easy confidence on his younger features.
Blaine put on his most winning smile, trying not to look like he was nervous. "I'm here to see Sebastian."
"Hmm," the little boy said before closing the door in Blaine's face.
After blinking for a moment at the closed door, Blaine glanced back at his car, wondering if he should pull out his phone and try calling Sebastian. Or maybe he should leave. Maybe Sebastian was busy or not even here. Blaine was just turning to retreat when the door opened again and it was Sebastian instead.
It had been only a month since he'd seen him but it felt longer since that visit hadn't been a social one. They'd coerced him into a song and Blaine had left immediately, ignoring the phone calls from his friends until he'd made his decision. Not transferring was for the best and Blaine still believed that but… he couldn't help wondering 'what if.'
Sebastian didn't look surprised to see him, nor did he look entirely pleased or displeased. He looked nearly as much of a mess of emotions as Blaine felt.
"Daddy says you're not supposed to have boys over," Sebastian's brother said, kicking Sebastian's ankle, causing the taller boy to scowl at him.
"Blaine's not a boy. He's…" Sebastian hesitated, looking over at Blaine before focusing his attention back on the boy who had backed up out of his brother's reach. "He's from Dalton. Go away, Leo."
Blaine couldn't help smiling as he watched the two interact, the little boy sticking his tongue out at Sebastian before darting away. Blaine didn't try to hide his smile when Sebastian turned to face him again, shrugging. He didn't know what having a younger sibling was like but he'd heard plenty of stories from Sebastian before they'd stopped talking.
"Don't mind him. My dad doesn't like me bringing my hook-ups to the house with the kids here," Sebastian said, as un-self-conscious as he ever was about his sexual history. He took a step back, opening the door wider. "Do you want to come in? We can go up to my room or else we're going to be harassed by the twins. Leo's undoubtedly gone to get Lily and they won't leave us alone."
No. Blaine didn't exactly want to go up to Sebastian's room, didn't know what Kurt would think. But he reminded himself that it wasn't any of Kurt's business and he nodded.
Sebastian looked at him for a moment, lips pressing together before Blaine stepped inside. The front door closing behind him seemed to echo loudly although Blaine knew that was only his nerves and imagination. They stayed silent until they were in the room and Blaine glanced around as Sebastian closed the door behind them.
Blaine wasn't sure what he would've guessed Sebastian's bedroom in his family home would look like but it wasn't this. There were pictures on the wall of him with his family, his friends, his classmates and teammates. A guitar sat in the corner, seemingly unused, and there were multiple folders and songbooks on the desk next to it. A corkboard over his dresser held old awards, ribbons and strips of pictures. Everything was neat, tidy, and Blaine wondered if that was the way Sebastian was or whether his messiness was just limited to his dorm room.
"Make yourself at home. I assume Trent brought you your gift and that you're too polite to have shown up expecting it if not?" Sebastian asked, a smirk on his lips as he moved to lean against the wall near the window. Blaine hesitated in the middle of the room before grabbing the desk chair to sit down, unwilling to sit down on the bed.
"I am much too polite to have shown up expecting a gift from you," Blaine responded, trying to sound joking but he knew he didn't quite manage. Now that he was here, he was wishing he hadn't come, wishing he had practiced more, wishing he'd just let it all go, pretended he didn't know who had gifted the book. After all, maybe he'd told somebody else that story. Except, he knew he hadn't. Not even Kurt. "I don't know what to ask first. I've been looking for that book for… years. So have my parents."
Sebastian lifted a shoulder casually, looking towards the window instead of at Blaine. He looked uncomfortable, Blaine realized, unsure of himself. It was something new on Sebastian and Blaine couldn't help the way he looked Sebastian over, as if he'd find out something more about the other boy. Sebastian seemed to have his guard down and Blaine wondered why it was now. "It's limited edition, that's why you couldn't find it. I happened to come across it while Christmas shopping for the kids."
That was a lie and Blaine recognized it but he didn't try to argue. He knew there was no way Sebastian would admit the truth.
"I don't even remember telling you about that book, honestly. I know we talked a lot but…"
Sebastian turned his head, raising his eyebrows and he had a cynical little smile on his lips. "I know you don't have much experience with this but people who care about you listen to you when you talk."
Any other time, Blaine would've told Sebastian he wasn't being fair. It wasn't often that Sebastian would talk about Kurt or their relationship, knowing it was a good way to get Blaine to shut down, but when he did, it was with a certain amount of bitterness. Now it was Blaine feeling bitter as those words seemed to echo around him.
Had Sebastian been right all along?
Had Kurt ever listened to him?
"What?" Sebastian asked after a moment, shoving a hand into his pocket as he met Blaine's eyes. "You're not going to rush to defend him?"
Blaine shook his head and shrugged. "No. I'm starting to think you're right."
Sebastian seemed surprised by Blaine's words but he hid it quickly. He smiled instead, much less cynically this time. There was something teasing in his eyes and he was giving Blaine that look that had always sent heat through Blaine. "I tend to be right a lot. People just don't listen to me enough."
"Oh? Like when it comes to slushies?" Blaine asked, the words unfair. He had forgiven Sebastian for the incident, the surgery, knew it was a lapse in judgement. Besides, Sebastian was obviously just teasing him right now. There was no reason to bring it up except he couldn't talk to him longer without bringing it up.
Sebastian nodded, looking contemplative as he took a step away from the window. "That was a mistake."
Blaine smiled slightly. "You think it was a mistake because it hit me when it was supposed to hit Kurt. Is that supposed to make it better?"
"Nobody ever accused me of being a good person," Sebastian said with another shrug as he headed towards his bed. He straightened the already perfect comforter before sitting down on the edge of the bed and looking over at Blaine. "But… no. It was a mistake because it was a stupid idea."
Looking down, Blaine nodded. He knew that was how Sebastian felt. It had been obvious that Sebastian meant his apology and he'd tried to make amends. Honestly, he didn't want to talk about the slushie, though, didn't want to think about Kurt. He and Sebastian always had plenty to talk about without topics like that.
Blaine didn't know how he was supposed to think about Kurt again, not when Kurt had told him he wasn't coming home for Christmas through a text message. Blaine didn't blame him for not wanting to come back to Ohio but Blaine had thought they meant more to each other than this. He had thought maybe Kurt could forgive him, maybe their relationship could be something again. He had thought they would talk and if they couldn't, Kurt could at least call him, give him more than a minute of his time.
"So, what are your plans for Christmas?" Blaine finally asked, setting his hands in his lap and looking over at the other boy.
"Staying here. Watch movies. Catching up on homework. The twins and my dad are going to visit my grandmother in Seattle. I was invited but she looks down on the whole 'interested in the same gender' thing I have going on so I chose to stay home." Sebastian tried to look unconcerned with the fact that he was going to be alone on Christmas but Blaine found that he still knew him better than that. "What about you?"
Blaine shook his head, putting a mask of his own on. He could tell immediately that Sebastian knew him better too. "Same thing. I was…" he hesitated, preparing to stop. He knew that Sebastian wasn't interested in the details of his and Kurt's relationship but he'd always listened. Sebastian always listened to Blaine. "Kurt was going to come home for Christmas. We were going to talk and I was going to spend Christmas with his family. But he's staying home and I'm sure they'd welcome me but… I'll probably do the same thing. Watch movies. Catch up on homework."
"You could stay over," Sebastian offered, both of them looking equally startled by the offer. Sebastian didn't take it back, though, simply looked Blaine in the eyes with what could be a challenge. "We could catch up on homework and watch movies together."
There was a part of Blaine that thought he should deny him. He should focus on his relationship with Kurt, what was left of it, chip away even more of himself to make Kurt happy. Maybe if he was better, maybe if he talked about himself less, maybe if he took less opportunities, maybe maybe maybe…
Blaine didn't want to deny him. He didn't want to be alone on Christmas since he'd assured his parents he wouldn't be alone and they could go on a cruise. He didn't want to mope around the house, think about Kurt and how he'd messed up the relationship they'd shared. Why should he when Sebastian was offering to spend it with him?
Why should he give up more things he cared about to make Kurt happy? Why should he give up the person who seemed to be able to understand him best?
"How about you come over to my house? We can watch Christmas movies and make hot chocolate and it'll be fun. You'll sleep in the guest room, of course. As long as you can keep things appropriate."
Sebastian smirked but there was something fond on his features, a genuine affection. It made Blaine look harder, warmed by that side of Sebastian that showed up so rarely. Blaine didn't get to see it in person often. Sebastian was always his most open with Blaine late at night during phone calls that carried on too long. It felt like it meant something to have him so genuine now. "It's worth a try."
Blaine smiled back, heart beating fast in his chest as he thought about the fairy tale book in the car, the fact that Sebastian listened to him, the fact that he wouldn't be alone on Christmas.
When Sebastian came over later that day, the fairy tale book was sitting on Blaine's nightstand, a bookmark already in it. And Sebastian didn't sleep in the guest bedroom. The two fell asleep together on the living room floor, Frosty the Snowman playing in the background.
And Blaine was the one who wasn't able to keep things appropriate, kissing Sebastian the next morning around hot chocolate and pancakes, unable to help himself and feeling more free than he had in a long time.