Chapter 12 (Part two)
Umbridge Bashing
You've been, waiting for it, now here it is! We all hate her, now let's humiliate her. *manic laughter* I might make Harry and Ron do insane things and kind of mean things to humiliate the demigods (obviously failing), so that's gonna be fun to write! Also, shout out to 2Male for giving me ideas and inspiration! Onto the reviewers!
TheDarkKitten: Thank you so much! I just finished reading your story, I just need to review…. *pulls out typewriter* Also, thank you for the constructive criticism, it always helps me know what I can improve on!
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Own either franchises, I do not.
Ron's POV
I woke up, wondering what today would bring. Today I decided that I was going to have an amazing day. I got up, and noticed a new announcement on the notice board. I excitedly checked it out.
'This year, since people enjoyed the Yule Ball so much, we've decided to have a Halloween Ball! Bring your date for a night of frights, food and fun!' (I know this never happened, I just REALLY want to write this! Forgive me please, it's gonna be great!) I yelled and woke up the rest of Gryffindor.
"Ron, mate, what's up? Why are you yelling so early?" Harry said groggily coming down the stairs. Dean, Seamus and the other girls and boys tumbled down the stairs, all armed with their wands.
"There's a ball! They liked the Yule Ball last year so much that they're doing a Halloween one this year! I can finally take Hermio-oh. Darn it." I yelled excitedly, then realizing that she's now with the Death Eaters.
We all got ready quickly, Harry muttering something about "Reyna…. Death Eaters…..Hot…...Should do it…" I then realized he liked Reyna. Oh well. I like Annabeth and planned on asking her out, except there was Percy. (Fucking plot twist. *dramatic music*) I was then determined to woo her.
I confidently strode out of the portrait hole and made my way towards the Great Hall. I walked in there and saw that everybody had already congregated and I was the last to be seated. Not a great way to start the day…
-time-skip-dedicated-to-Beckendorf-
After breakfast, we went to Arithmancy. It was really boring, the Americans didn't pay attention at all, except Annabeth and Hermione. Pah, they got our cheat sheet. I forgot about that.
Next was Herbology. Every plant that touched Nico, Hazel and Draco immediately died. Huh. I wonder what that's about. Otherwise, the plants ADORED Grover and Neville, and the others did OK. Not super eventful.
Then was Divination. Now THAT was weird. We entered and all of the Americans were grouped at one table. Then Percy suddenly looked evil and whispered to Jason and Nico quickly. They all looked up suddenly with a mischievous glint in their eyes.
Nico then said "Restroom.", looked at Hazel and Draco, then departed. Hazel and Draco went to the bathroom too, and didn't come back for 15 minutes. Maybe they're making something?
After 20 more minutes, while I was analyzing Harry's dream about flying bacon, Nico, Hazel and Draco came back in with this weird red-headed girl with marker doodles all over her jeans and 'Harvard Art Dept.' shirt. (You knew it was gonna happen eventually.)
Professor Trelawney gasped and said like she was greeting a long lost relative "OMFG YOU DIDN'T! RACHEL! HONEY HI! COME HERE!" And then proceeded to snag her out of the corner she was sulking in.
Hazel, Draco and Nico then went back to their chairs and collapsed. Professor Trelawney said enthusiastically "Everyone, this is Rachel Elizabeth Dare, and she is the current host of the Oracle of Delphi." (Pretend the gift of prophecy still works. *sweats nervously*)
Harry then scoffed, and said "A likely story, I bet she just is a random student, here to convince us that Trelawney isn't a total fraud." Trelawney looked hurt, but instead Rachel stepped forward and whispered just audibly "Ooh, I think I feel one coming."
Then her eyes glowed green, and she was surrounded by a bright green aura and said the following:
The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches
Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies
And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not
And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives
he one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies.
Then she collapsed on the floor, and Trelawney had a look of 'i-told-you-so' on her face as she and the rest of the Americans picked her up and placed her on a chair. I was going to ask a question when the bell rang, and she said "Class dismissed." And went to eat ice cream out of her secret mini-fridge.
-time-skip-dedicated-to-Zoe-
Next, after lunch, the Americans disappeared into an unknown room, and that girl Rachel left. Harry and I did homework and talked about the ball. Then we packed up and got ready for our first defense against the dark arts lesson. We hoped that Umbridge actually taught us something.
When they entered the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom they found Professor Umbridge already seated at the teacher's desk, wearing the fluffy pink cardigan of the night before and the black velvet bow on top of her head.
Harry was again reminded forcibly of a large fly perched unwisely on top of an even larger toad.
The class was quiet as it entered the room; Professor Umbridge was, as yet, an unknown quantity and nobody knew yet how strict a disciplinarian she was likely to be.
"Well, good afternoon!" she said when finally the whole class had sat down. A few people mumbled "Good afternoon," in reply. "Tut, tut," said Professor Umbridge. "That won't do, now, will it? I would like you, please, to reply 'Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge.' One more time, please. Good afternoon, class!" "Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge," they chanted back at her.
"There, now," said Professor Umbridge sweetly. "That wasn't too difficult, was it? Wands away and quills out, please." Many of the class exchanged gloomy looks; the order "wands away" had never yet been followed by a lesson they had found interesting.
Harry shoved his wand back inside his bag and pulled out quill, ink, and parchment. Professor Umbridge opened her handbag, extracted her own wand, which was an unusually short one, and tapped the blackboard sharply with it; words appeared on the board at once:
Defense Against the Dark Arts
A Return to Basic Principles.
"Well now, your teaching in this subject has been rather disrupted and fragmented, hasn't it?" stated Professor Umbridge, turning to face the class with her hands clasped neatly in front of her.
"The constant changing of teachers, many of whom do not seem to have followed
any Ministry-approved curriculum, has unfortunately resulted in
your being far below the standard we would expect to see in your
O.W.L. year.
"You will be pleased to know, however, that these problems are now to be rectified. We will be following a carefully structured, theory centered, Ministry-approved course of defensive magic this year. Copy down the following, please."
She rapped the blackboard again; the first message vanished and
was replaced by:
Course aims:
the principles underlying defensive magic.
to recognize situations in which defensive magic
can legally be used.
the use of defensive magic in a context for
practical use.
For a couple of minutes the room was full of the sound of scratching quills on parchment. When everyone had copied down Professor Umbridge's three course aims she said, "Has everybody got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?"
There was a dull murmur of assent throughout the class, except for the Americans, who had to borrow some copies. Why didn't they have a copy?
"I think we'll try that again," said Professor Umbridge. "When I ask you a question, I should like you to reply 'Yes, Professor Umbridge,' or 'No, Professor Umbridge.' So, has everyone got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?" "Yes, Professor Umbridge," rang through the room.
"Good," said Professor Umbridge. "I should like you to turn to page five and read chapter one, 'Basics for Beginners.' There will be no need to talk." Professor Umbridge left the blackboard and settled herself in the chair behind the teacher's desk, observing them all with those pouchy toad's eyes.
Harry turned to page five of his copy of Defensive Magical Theory and started to read. I opened my book and started to read as well. It was so quiet, all you could hear was the meow of Professor Umbridge's cat plates.
It was desperately dull, quite as bad as listening to Professor Binns. He felt his concentration sliding away from him; he had soon read the same line half a dozen times without taking in more than the first few words. Several silent minutes passed. Next to him, I was absentmindedly turning his quill over and over in my fingers, staring at the
same spot on the page.
Harry looked right and received a surprise to
shake him out of his torpor. Hermione had not even opened her copy of Defensive Magical Theory. She was staring fixedly at Professor Umbridge with her hand in the air.
Harry could not remember Hermione ever neglecting to read when
instructed to, or indeed resisting the temptation to open any book
that came under her nose.
He looked at her questioningly, but she
merely shook her head slightly to indicate that she was not about to
answer questions, and continued to stare at Professor Umbridge, who
was looking just as resolutely in another direction.
Percy, Annabeth and 4 more of the Americans also had their hands raised, and Nico looked like he was giving off an aura of death. Hm. Creepy.
After several more minutes had passed, however, Harry was not the
only one watching Hermione. The chapter they had been instructed
to read was so tedious that more and more people were choosing to
watch Hermione and 7 more students mute attempt to catch Professor Umbridge's eye
than to struggle on with "Basics for Beginners."
When more than half the class were staring at Hermione rather
than at their books, Professor Umbridge seemed to decide that she
could ignore the situation no longer.
"Did you want to ask something about the chapter, dear?" she
asked Hermione, as though she had only just noticed her.
"Not about the chapter, no," said Hermione.
"Well, we're reading just now," said Professor Umbridge, showing
her small, pointed teeth. "If you have other queries we can deal with
them at the end of class."
"I've got a query about your course aims," said Hermione.
Professor Umbridge raised her eyebrows.
"And your name is — ?"
"Hermione Granger," said Hermione.
"Well, Miss Granger, I think the course aims are perfectly clear if you read them through carefully," said Professor Umbridge in a voice of determined sweetness.
"Well, I don't," said Hermione bluntly. "There's nothing written
up there about using defensive spells."
There was a short silence in which many members of the class
turned their heads to frown at the three course aims still written on
the blackboard.
"Using defensive spells?" Professor Umbridge repeated with a little
laugh. "Why, I can't imagine any situation arising in my classroom
that would require you to use a defensive spell, Miss Granger. You
surely aren't expecting to be attacked during class?"
"We're not going to use magic?" Jason ejaculated loudly.
"Students raise their hands when they wish to speak in my class,
Mr. — ?"
"Grace," said Jason, thrusting his hand into the air.
Professor Umbridge, smiling still more widely, turned her back on
him. Harry and Annabeth immediately raised their hands too. Professor Umbridge's pouchy eyes lingered on Harry for a moment before
she addressed Annabeth.
"Yes, Miss Chase? You wanted to ask something else?"
"Yes," said Annabeth. "Surely the whole point of Defense Against
the Dark Arts is to practice defensive spells?"
"Are you a Ministry-trained educational expert, Miss Chase?"
asked Professor Umbridge in her falsely sweet voice.
"No, but —"
"Well then, I'm afraid you are not qualified to decide what the
'whole point' of any class is. Wizards much older and cleverer than
you have devised our new program of study. You will be learning
about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way —"
"What use is that?" said Harry loudly. "If we're going to be attacked
it won't be in a —"
"Hand, Mr. Potter!" sang Professor Umbridge.
Harry thrust his fist in the air. Professor Umbridge promptly
turned away from him again, but now several other people had their
hands up too.
"And your name is?" Professor Umbridge said to Percy.
"Percy Jackson."
"Well, Mr. Jackson?"
"Well, it's like Harry said, isn't it?" said Percy. "If we're going to be
attacked, it won't be risk-free —"
"I repeat," said Professor Umbridge, smiling in a very irritating
fashion at Percy, "do you expect to be attacked during my classes?"
"No, but —"
Professor Umbridge talked over him.
"I do not wish to criticize the way things have been run in this
school," she said, an unconvincing smile stretching her wide mouth,
"but you have been exposed to some very irresponsible wizards in this
class, very irresponsible indeed — not to mention," she gave a nasty
little laugh, "extremely dangerous half-breeds."
"If you mean Professor Lupin," piped up Dean Thomas angrily,
"he was the best we ever —"
"Hand, Mr. Thomas! As I was saying — you have been introduced
to spells that have been complex, inappropriate to your age group, and
potentially lethal. You have been frightened into believing that you are
likely to meet Dark attacks every other day —"
"No we haven't," Hermione said, "we just —"
"Your hand is not up, Miss Granger!"
Hermione put up her hand; Professor Umbridge turned away from
her.
"It is my understanding that my predecessor not only performed illegal curses in front of you, he actually performed them on you —"
"Well, he turned out to be a maniac, didn't he?" said Dean Thomas
hotly. "Mind you, we still learned loads —"
"Your hand is not up, Mr. Thomas!" trilled Professor Umbridge.
"Now, it is the view of the Ministry that a theoretical knowledge will
be more than sufficient to get you through your examination, which,
after all, is what school is all about. And your name is?" she added,
staring at Reyna, whose hand had just shot up.
"Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano, and isn't there a practical bit in our Defense Against
the Dark Arts O.W.L.? Aren't we supposed to show that we can actually do the countercurses and things?"
"As long as you have studied the theory hard enough, there is no
reason why you should not be able to perform the spells under carefully controlled examination conditions," said Professor Umbridge
dismissively.
"Without ever practicing them before?" said Reyna incredulously.
"Are you telling us that the first time we'll get to do the spells will be
during our exam?"
"I repeat, as long as you have studied the theory hard enough —"
"And what good's theory going to be in the real world?" said Percy
loudly, his fist in the air again.
Professor Umbridge looked up.
"This is school, Mr. Jackson, not the real world," she said softly.
"So we're not supposed to be prepared for what's waiting out
there?"
"There is nothing waiting out there, Mr. Jackson."
"Oh yeah?" said Harry, supporting Percy. I guessed that he was so angry he wasn't thinking straight. His temper, which seemed to have been
bubbling just beneath the surface all day, was reaching boiling point.
"Who do you imagine wants to attack children like yourselves?"
inquired Professor Umbridge in a horribly honeyed voice.
"Hmm, let's think . . ." said Harry in a mock thoughtful voice,
"maybe Lord Voldemort?"
I gasped; Lavender Brown uttered a little scream; Dean
slipped sideways off his stool. Professor Umbridge, however, did not
flinch. She was staring at Harry with a grimly satisfied expression on
her face.
"Ten points from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter."
The classroom was silent and still. Everyone was staring at either
Umbridge or Harry.
"Now, let me make a few things quite plain."
Professor Umbridge stood up and leaned toward them, her stubby fingered hands splayed on her desk.
"You have been told that a certain Dark wizard has returned from
the dead —"
"He wasn't dead," said Harry angrily, "but yeah, he's returned!"
"Mr.-Potter-you-have-already-lost-your-House-ten-points-do-notmake-matters-worse-for-yourself," said Professor Umbridge in one
breath without looking at him. "As I was saying, you have been informed that a certain Dark wizard is at large once again. This is a lie."
"It is NOT a lie!" said Harry. "I saw him, I fought him!"
"Detention, Mr. Potter!" said Professor Umbridge triumphantly.
"Tomorrow evening. Five o'clock. My office. I repeat, this is a lie. The
Ministry of Magic guarantees that you are not in danger from any
Dark wizard. If you are still worried, by all means come and see me
outside class hours. If someone is alarming you with fibs about reborn
Dark wizards, I would like to hear about it. I am here to help. I am
your friend. And now, you will kindly continue your reading. Page
five, 'Basics for Beginners.' "
Professor Umbridge sat down behind her desk again. Harry, however, stood up. Everyone was staring at him; Seamus looked half scared, half-fascinated.
"Percy, no!" Annabeth whispered in a warning voice, tugging at
his sleeve, but Percy jerked his arm out of her reach.
"So, according to you, Cedric Diggory dropped dead of his own
accord, did he?" Percy asked, his voice shaking.
There was a collective intake of breath from the class, for none of
them, apart from the Americans, Hermione and I, had ever heard Harry talk
about what had happened on the night that Cedric had died.
They stared avidly from Harry, who was gaping, an impressed, mad, and grudging respect face showing, to Professor Umbridge, to Percy, who had raised her
eyes and was staring at him without a trace of a fake smile on her face.
"Cedric Diggory's death was a tragic accident," she said coldly.
"Sounds like your birth!" Percy yelled. "It was murder," said Harry, as he interrupted Percy again. He could feel himself shaking. He had
hardly talked to anyone about this, least of all thirty eagerly listening
classmates.
"Voldemort killed him, and you know it."
Professor Umbridge's face was quite blank. For a moment he
thought she was going to scream at him. Then she said, in her softest,
most sweetly girlish voice, "Come here, Mr. Potter, Mr. Jackson, dears."
They kicked their chairs aside, strode around Annabeth and Hermione and
up to the teacher's desk. Harry could feel the rest of the class holding its
breath. Percy felt so angry he did not care what happened next.
Professor Umbridge pulled a small roll of pink parchment out of
her handbag, stretched it out on the desk, dipped her quill into a bottle of ink, and started scribbling, hunched over so that Harry could
not see what she was writing.
Nobody spoke. After a minute or so she
rolled up the parchment and tapped it with her wand; it sealed itself
seamlessly so that he could not open it.
"Take this to Professor McGonagall, dear," said Professor Umbridge, holding out the note to him.
He took it from her without saying a word and left the room, not
even looking back at Hermione and I, and slamming the classroom door shut behind him.
Everybody then turned to Percy as Professor Umbridge said in a falsely sweet, mocking tone, "You may join Mr. Potter in detention tomorrow. Maybe after that, you will learn your lesson."
Percy accepted the note, then went back to his seat, only to be told off by Annabeth. We spent the rest of the lesson in silence, then the class ended, and we all headed back to the Herbology tent.
Herbology passed in a blur. We took care of a venomous tentacula, and Pansy Parkinson was stung. Heh. No one cares about her. But what was all on our minds was the next class. Dreaded potions.
-time-skip-dedicated-to-Luke-
We arrived in the class to see Snape sulking silently and spinning speedily while spewing scarlet sulfur spoons. (say that 5 times fast. I dare you.) He looked embarrassed and quickly posted the instructions for the Amortentia that we were going to be making.
After smelling fresh books, parchment, cat and mint, I wondered who that represented. Annabeth! She likes books, parchment and mint, but she has an affection for owls….. And she said that hers smelled like the ocean, horses, pizza and cinnamon.
I was disappointed, because that's what Percy likes and smells like. I was sad that they were soulmates, but quickly rebounded with what Thalia smelled. Maybe… me?
-line-break-dedicated-to-Magnus-1.0-
"Well, that was a disaster. No one's smelled like me!" I said sadly as we exited the classroom. All of the Americans had a scent, Connor, who had no girlfriend. I can relate, mate, I can relate.
We headed down to dinner, and, yet again, they all sat at their highly weaponized table, and denied us access. Why? A lot of super hot girls were sitting there, and Harry was looking at Reyna talking to Cho, I think he had a crush on both…..
For dinner, we had steak, and I snuck a glance at the Americans, who were all huddled around Leo, who had a vile of bright green fire. They all took the best-looking steak and surrounded Leo. Why…?
Then they tossed all of their food into the fire, muttering a name, and then they resumed eating as though nothing had happened. I gasped lightly, and Harry looked at me strangely while eating his potatoes.
"Maybe it's more than just their religion, maybe it's magic, and they're sending it to someone or somewhere! That would make a lot more sense, but,...that's extremely advanced magic. How would they have learned it?"
Harry sighed before responding. "Ron they're doing wandless, wordless magic, and you're impressed by THAT?! At least be impressed by the actually impressive things, like the animagi, or their fighting abilities, or…" I tuned out for the rest of it. Wait…. What fighting skills?
"Harry, you're not telling me about something. We need to talk. Forbidden forest, tonight, under the invisibility cloak?" I said, pressuring him to not back down. He sighed dramatically, and reluctantly agreed to meet me there.
And that's all you get! *sees reviewers raise guns* Oh shit….. I know that that chapter was mostly copied from the Order of the Phoenix….. Well never mind! *dodges bullet* Gotta go, busy day of school tomorrow! *dodges more bullets* Why? I'll be on a schedule of updating Mondays and Thursdays, starting next week, to make you more happy. Don't forget, private message me ideas! I NEED IDEAS! Also, FOLLOW, FAVORITE, REVIEW!