There and Back Again: Edith's Story
Chapter V
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Author's Note: This chapter is going to play out a little differently. But it'll work out.
Edith woke up to a gentle nudging. Fili was looking down at her, his hand pressed against her arm. She sat up slowly, looking around at the others on the ledge they had slept on that night. Some of the dwarves were already packed and putting their belongings on the horses. Bofur was preparing a light breakfast which consisted of last night's leftovers and some bread. Edith sat down on a rock, trying to keep Fili's cloak wrapped around her as she ate her portion of breakfast. There was a chill in the air that morning and the sky was grey. The sun was just coming up over the horizon in the east. Beyond the ledge they had camped on, the north was covered in a dense fog. But as the sun rose, the day would warm, the fog and chill would dissipate.
Thorin walked over to Edith and looked at her, his expression stoic. She looked up at the dwarf, a quick glance at his person – his hand was resting on the hilt of a dagger at his waist and his jaw was stiff and clenched. A sudden wave of anxiety overcame her as he stood there, almost ominously. From its sheath at his waist, Thorin removed the dagger and laid the weapon in his hand. Now that she saw the proper size, it was more a small sword rather than a dagger. A double-edged sword that was about her size to use.
"I will not be responsible for your safety. You need to learn to fight for yourself. I'll not put my company at risk for one woman. Don't rely on them to rescue you from trouble." Thorin hissed.
"Understood," Edith said, taking the sword from his hand.
It was light to hold and easy to move with. Thorin raised a brow and the other dwarves watched as she moved with the sword.
"My mother's brother was a swordsman. He taught me things here and there." Edith explained. "I am sure I will manage just fine."
"I think there is more to this young woman than meets the eye." Gandalf mused, mounting his horse. "There is much still to learn about you, Lady Edith."
Thorin handed her the sheath and she strapped it onto her back to easily carry her weapon. Mounted on his pony, Fili trotted over to her and held out his arm.
"Are you sure you want another day of riding together?" Edith asked, feeling her cheeks go hot.
She noticed the small smirk on his mouth as he looked at her.
"I don't mind it." Fili answered. "Unless if you'd like to ride with Thorin or Dwalin…"
His uncle turned to glare at him for that comment, the dwarves laughed as Edith quickly grabbed Fili's arm. Easily, he hoisted her up in front of him. Edith looked down as she smiled when Fili's arms went around her waist to grab the reins. Soon enough, the company was off. There was often light conversation amongst the dwarves and laughter. Songs were sung, and jokes were told.
"Lady Edith, how about if you sang us a song?" Bofur inquired, turning to look at her.
"I don't know how I feel about singing without music…" Edith's voice trailed off.
Her comment resulted in the dwarves being persistent in urging her to sing. Fili chuckled from behind her, sending chills down her back. But it was a rather delightful feeling she got.
"Won't you sing something?" Ori asked.
"You won't know any of the songs that I know!" Edith replied.
"That will make it more special to hear a lady sing! I'm sure you've a fine voice!" Dori exclaimed.
"Oh, all right, just give me a moment to think of a song then!"
The dwarves cheered in excitement and Edith though which song would be best for something like this. Perhaps an old ballad that has been sung for centuries…something from her past. She ended up choosing one that she had often heard during the war. It hadn't been an old ballad, but it was her favorite. Jack had once sung it in a pub to bring some cheer to the people there. Times had been hard, but it was a song that Edith loved to hear whenever she could.
Let me call you sweetheart
I'm in love with you
Let me hear you whisper
That you love me too
Keep the love light glowing
In your eyes so true
Let me call you sweetheart
I'm in love with you
Keep the love light glowing
In your eyes so true
Let me call you sweetheart
I'm in love with you
The dwarves were quiet as they listened to her singing. It was strange to be the only one singing and without accompaniment. But Edith was glad she did it.
"Oh, that was lovely." Dori commented. "Was that about your betrothed back home?"
"Yes, I suppose it can be. It's quite a well-known song back home. Jack sang it once in front of an audience. I just enjoy it from time to time."
"Sing us another one!"
The dwarves were all quite eager again and Gandalf chuckled as he glanced at Edith. Her face was red and flushed. The wizard also noticed the young dwarf prince sitting behind her, smiling.
My love is like a red, red rose
That's newly sprung in June:
My love is like the melodie
That's sweetly played in tune.
So fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in love am I :
And I will love thee still, my dear,
Till all the seas gang dry. Till all the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt with the sun:
And I will love thee still, my dear,
While the sands of life shall run. And fare thee weel, my only love.
And fare thee weel awhile!
And I will come again, my love,
Though it were ten thousand mile.
Edith sighed once she finished. The dwarves were silent for a long while until it was time to stop for lunch. Edith had gotten used to riding and now her legs and backside hadn't been as numb or wobbly as they were in the beginning of their journey. Fili sat beside her as they rested for a few moments.
"Those were beautiful songs you sang, Lady Edith. Who wrote them?" the dwarf inquired.
"Robert Burns wrote 'My Love is like a Red, red rose' and I can't remember who wrote the other one I sang."
"Such a strange name…why do you have such strange names where you come from?" Fili asked.
"I could not tell you." Edith answered, chuckling.
They looked at one another. Edith noticed the odd look Fili was giving her – much like how Jack did when they first met.
"So, what are you two talking of so intently?" Kili asked, coming to sit between them.
Edith shifted, moving further away from the two brothers. She looked away, praying she hadn't been blushing. Fili hit his brother upside the head playfully. Edith turned her attention back to the brothers and rolled her eyes.
"You are worse than children sometimes." Edith sighed. "You act like you are three years old."
"That's because this one is!" Fili replied, grinning while ruffling his brother's hair.
"Oi, I am seventy-seven years old. I am not a child any longer and I expect you to not treat me as such." Kili snapped.
Edith's eyes went wide.
"You are how old now?" she asked. "You cannot be more than thirty!"
Fili and Kili laughed.
"I look quite good for an old man, don't I?" Kili said, rather proudly.
"Can you guess how old I am?" Fili inquired, tilting his head as he looked at Edith.
"I can't say that I would like to. I would say thirty? Perhaps a bit more than that?"
"I am eighty-two…this is in dwarf years, mind you, Lady Edith. How old are you if you don't mind my asking?"
Edith snorted.
"A lady never reveals her age to any man – or dwarf in this instance!"
The brothers began to argue and insisted she reveal her age.
"Fine! I am twenty-seven!"
The other dwarves suddenly burst into laughter and Fili and Kili looked on in shock.
"What?" Edith asked.
"You are just a wee bairn in dwarf years, my dear." Balin said from his place.
"By human standards, I am a woman. I am not considered a child. If I had not a betrothed, I would be an old maid!"
"You wouldn't be an old maid for long, you are a fine young lass." Oin told her.
She smiled at Oin for his kind words.
"What about you Bilbo, I don't think you'd be more than thirty or forty." Edith said, looking at the hobbit.
He chuckled and looked at his feet.
"Bless you, I am fifty." Bilbo replied, smiling.
"What is it with this place and looking so well at those ages? I dare not even inquire as to how old our wizard is. No doubt ancient!" Edith exclaimed, earning a chorus of laughter from the dwarves.
Thorin managed to crack a smile at Edith's commentary of the wizard's age. Gandalf shook his head, grumbling incoherently and continued to smoke his pipe.
"What about your betrothed at home? Is he close to your age?" Bilbo asked.
"Yes, he's thirty…his birthday would be soon. I wish I could be there to celebrate it with him."
"What does he look like?"
"He's got lovely chestnut brown hair and such green eyes. He's almost a head taller than me and an excellent physique. Jack has the most dashing smile. He looks quite striking in his military uniform."
"Is he more handsome than my brother would you say?" Kili asked, smiling impishly.
"I think they are both very handsome."
Kili rolled his eyes. Edith knew well enough he was testing her. She would not allow him to tease her like he often did.
"Let's get a move on. We need to make appropriate time before nightfall." Thorin said, once he finished his lunch. "Edith, you take Minty to ride. There isn't much else on her pack."
"Uncle, I really don't mind—,"
"She rides alone." Thorin growled, sending a sharp look at his nephew.
Fili and Edith glanced at one another as Thorin walked towards his pony. Fili helped Edith onto Minty's back. He smiled at her as he gave her a nod. Edith bit her lower lip as his hand was on her knee, the warmth from his hand radiating through her clothes.
"You'll be fine to ride Minty?"
"I think so," said she.
"Let me know if you have any trouble. I'll ride Bungo in front of you."
Edith nodded, and the company continued down their road. She watched the back of Fili as he rode in front of her. She rather missed sharing a pony with him. He had kept her warm and they had talked often together quietly about things. She had gotten to know Fili well the past few months of their traveling together. His mother had remained in the Blue Mountains to lead their people. Like Edith, he had lost his father. He didn't explain how he had died – and Edith didn't press the matter further. But now, she was on her own pony and couldn't really talk to him the same way they had been able to before.
Bilbo rode up beside her. She looked at him and smiled.
"I see the way you look at him." Bilbo whispered.
"I don't know what you mean." Edith answered.
"I know you have Jack back home. It isn't really my place to say but I have heard some of the dwarves talking about you and Fili."
Edith glanced at him, a worried expression on her face.
"What have they said?"
"That Fili ought to leave you be. You have a betrothed back home. He is Thorin's heir and needs to be mindful about his duty to Thorin and to not break your heart. He fancies you though."
"There is no bond like that between us, Bilbo. I consider him a friend. Like you said, I have Jack at home. I cannot betray my loyalty to him. I don't know why you're saying this."
"Have you not seen the way he looks at you?"
"I haven't really noticed."
That was a lie. Edith had noticed once or twice the way Fili looked at her. There was no chance that Fili was attracted to her. Why would he be? She was a human and he was a dwarf prince. Even if he was attracted to her and she was attracted to him, they could never be together. He needed someone of royal blood to be his wife. She was betrothed and from a different world. It was impossible for something like that to ever happen between them. Edith in that moment accepted that fact and dismissed all thoughts of that from her head. She would go home, marry Jack and be happy. What if there isn't a way home? A voice in the back of her mind asked. You were meant to be here, Edith. No, she was not.
Fili looked back at her to see if she was alright. They shared a smile. Bilbo cleared his throat. Edith returned her attention to the hobbit.
"That is what I mean." Bilbo whispered again.
"It is nothing!" Edith exclaimed, louder than she had expected to.
"What is nothing?" Fili asked, turning again.
"Never mind that."
Fili shrugged and turned his head forward. No, heaven forbid – Edith would not allow that dwarf to fall for her. She could not allow any sort of attachment form between either of them. Edith decided that moment she would do what she could to help the company reclaim their homeland while trying to find her own way home. That would be her focus, nothing else. If she stayed towards the end of the journey, then so be it. Edith tried to remember the outcome of the book. It had been a while since she had read the ending. She remembered that someone died, but who?
She knew there was a battle to come – but could not remember when. It was as if someone had wiped away the memories of reading the entirety of the book from her mind. There were some that were clear, certain events like visiting Rivendell, going through the goblin tunnels and Laketown. Perhaps it was all for the better, some things could not be changed despite what anyone knew. It could be a treacherous notion to meddle with things of that nature. Edith accepted it rather than forced herself to try and remember. She dared not risk the fate of her friends or her own story if that was the case. A little after midday, the company came to a halt at an abandoned house. It had not been occupied for some time. Edith dismounted her pony as the others did but she noticed the wizard looking on between the road and the desolate farmhouse.
"A farmer and his family used to live here." Gandalf said. "I think it would be wise to continue on, Thorin."
"We will camp here for the night. We will go no further until we've had rest."
"Maybe you should listen to the wizard for once, Thorin, and not be so stubborn." Edith remarked. "There is something about this place that is not settling well with me…we should—,"
"I do not take orders from a woman. You dare to oppose my authority?" Thorin asked, glowering at her.
"Save me from the stubbornness of dwarves! I have had enough of your arrogance, Thorin Oakenshield, if you will not heed advice then I must depart from you." Gandalf exclaimed, angrily.
Gandalf turned abruptly to leave.
"Gandalf, wait!" Edith exclaimed, but the wizard ignored her.
"Where are you going?" Bilbo cried, getting up.
"I am leaving to find better company elsewhere. I have had enough of dwarves for one day."
"Who are you—,"
Gandalf cut Edith off.
"Myself, Lady Edith! I will not be bothered by anyone amongst the company of Thorin Oakenshield."
Before she knew it, he was gone from their sight. Edith bit her lip. She glared at Thorin, feeling emotions within her flaring.
"Now look what you have done! He is the one person who could have helped me find my way home! Because of your stupidity and your pride, I have no chance of ever going back home to Jack!" Edith shouted, storming up to Thorin. "How can you be such a selfish prick?"
"This quest is not about you, woman!" Thorin was outraged as he shouted at her. "Had I my choice, I would have left you at the end of the forest to fend for yourself. You have been impractical from the day we left Bag-end. Our burglar has the decency to keep his mouth shut and knows his place. Get out of my sight before I rid you of this company myself!"
He had grabbed onto her shirt and shoved her away from the company as he shouted at her. Fili interjected and forced himself between his uncle and Edith. He shoved Thorin back away from Edith, restraining his uncle and yelling in Khuzdul. Fili looked at Edith. Her face was pale, and her hands trembled as she grabbed her knapsack. Without even looking at the others, she sprinted through the trees and out of the company's way.
Edith cried out as she tripped over a root, a sharp edge cutting her thigh as she fell. There was no use running, she had no idea where to go or how she would ever find any help. She sat against the tree, examining her wound. It hadn't been too deep. But it was bleeding generous amounts of blood. From her knapsack, she tore a piece of cloth from one of her shirts to use as a bandage. Edith cleaned it carefully, wincing at the sting. Once the wound had been cleaned, she wrapped another strip of cloth as a bandage, tying it securely around her thigh.
Edith decided she could not stay here. She couldn't remember all the dangers of this world and how many unpleasant things she would encounter. But she did know that the next place they would go was Rivendell, the home of Lord Elrond. The only thing was, she had no clue how to get there. If she were to continue by foot the direction the company was going, perhaps she would find it. Trembling, she got up and began to walk through the forest. There was no use going back to the company. Gandalf was gone, and she knew Thorin was never going to allow her back now. She was now on her own and had to find her way.
Her fear hadn't been journeying this by herself, it was not being able to go back home to Jack. Thinking of him kept her motivated to walk, even with an injury. Her thoughts drifted to the company every once and a while. She had had some pleasant times with the some of the dwarves. Thorin, Dwalin and Bifur were the ones she didn't speak to often. If she did speak to Bifur, Bofur often translated. She smiled as she thought of the memories she had made, however brief.
Edith didn't know how long she had been limping or traveling, but it was getting dark. The light was nearly gone. The forest was thinning but Edith was still moving, trying to get anywhere as far as she could. But she was beginning to weaken. Her stomach grumbled, and she was starting to feel rather thirsty. She wondered how long she could go on her own. She needed to find food and water soon. A sharp pain in her leg made her cry out and stumble. Edith looked at the bandage. It was disgustingly crimson. The wound had bled through, staining her pants. She should not have continued but she had to find a way home.
She forced herself to crawl towards the nearest tree. Edith leaned up against it, feeling sweat now dripping down her forehead as she went to change the bandage. Gritting her teeth, she looked at the scratch. It looked repulsive, but she had to clean it again and tie it off. She then realized it had been a lot deeper than she had let on. The pain went through her leg now that her adrenaline rush was gone was almost unbearable. The sting was almost unbearable, and her leg was aching. Keep soldiering on, Edith, you cannot weaken now. She thought.
Edith watched as the last rays of sun disappeared under the horizon. It was now twilight in an unfamiliar world, the silence was unnerving. Fear crept up her spine as she realized how alone she was. She scolded herself continuously for being foolish and talking back to Thorin. Edith should have known this was as much a man's world as her own was.
Edith didn't realize she was drifting into sleep until she heard voices. She heard an arrow knock into its bow and the string drawn back. Edith opened her eyes to see tall beings before her. Their ears were pointed and their hair down to their chest. Both had masculine features, but she could not understand a word as they spoke to her. They are elves…she thought before passing out.