Chapter 4: Christmas Eve.

When John awoke again there was sunlight streaming through the infirmary windows and he had to admit that he felt much better than he had the last time he'd awoken. He still seemed to have gaps in his memory as to how he'd ended up in the infirmary, but for now that didn't bother him. Carson had explained to him that the memories of the last few days may never completely return and he was fine with that, they were probably painful memories that he'd rather forget anyway.

One thing he did remember though, was that in his mind he'd somehow managed to re-live the Christmas after his mother had died and Carson had witnessed his anguish over having to go through it again. He had also been relieved when his friend had agreed to keep what had happened between them.

Today was Christmas Eve and Carson had promised that he could leave and enjoy Christmas with his family and the rest of the Atlantis personnel, which he would be forever grateful for. The Rumour around the base was that Lorne and a group of his men had planned a Christmas Party that evening and a choir had been formed by several members of the scientific community to sing Christmas carols.

He had no idea how early it was, but he decided as he wasn't going to get out of the infirmary before lunch time, he may as well go back to sleep again and the only thing he needed to do that afternoon was to wrap the Christmas gifts he'd bought for Teyla and Torren and put them under the tree. Gifts had been exchanged between his friends and team before Jennifer had left for earth and Ronon had gone off world to visit some of his old Satedan friends. They were both due back for the Christmas party that evening, so he was happy that they would all be together again.

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and tried to stop his mind from racing at a million miles an hour, hoping that he could settle down to sleep again. A few minutes later just as he was beginning to dose an annoying voice pervaded his senses.

"Hey Sheppard, are you awake?"

He thought about ignoring it and pretending that he was asleep, until Rodney spoke again.

"Come on Sheppard, I know you're not asleep, because Carson told me you were awake."

Rolling his head towards his friend's voice, he scowled, "what do you want McKay?"

"I just came to tell you that I have found a compound to reduce the severity of the symptoms from the marmite fly. It's a bit like an epi-pen, if you get bitten you can inject yourself with it."

"That's great thanks for that, but the thing I can't understand is why I haven't been bitten by these bu… I mean insects before now?" He'd almost said bugs, but he really hated bugs, so where possible he refused to use the word.

"The only thing that Carson and I can come up with, is that we haven't been on a world that has them yet. It's lame I know, but for now that's all we've got."

"Alright, but right now I don't really care, because I was just thinking of going back to sleep again for a few hours."

The look on Rodney's face shifted to one of annoyance, "Okay then Colonel Cranky pants, I'll see you later if you can possibly stand to be in the same room with me."

He sighed, he hadn't meant to offend, or upset his friend, but he was still feeling tired, so the last thing he wanted was to listen to one of his friends longwinded explanations, "I'm sorry Rodney, but I am really tired."

"Oh…I'm sorry Sheppard, I'll leave you to sleep now and I'll catch up with you later for dinner."

After watching his friend leave he closed his eyes again, Teyla was coming to pick him up after lunch and then if he could get her and Torren out of their apartment for a few hours he would contact Rodney to come and help him wrap the gifts and put them under the tree, that he barely remembered decorating.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Teyla sat and looked at the fruit and Athosian tea in front of her, she really didn't feel hungry right now, but Carson had told her that she needed to eat even if she didn't feel like it. She had gone to see him a week before, while John was off world picking up their Christmas tree, at that time she had a feeling of constant nauseousness and dizziness which she couldn't explain.

Amelia had looked after Torren for her, while Carson had conducted a number of tests and although she was surprised by what he had told her, she shouldn't have been. She was pregnant and Carson had performed a scan for her there and then and apparently she was around eight weeks pregnant with twins. Now she had to tell John and she had decided that she would tell him Christmas morning and then she would show him the scan pictures that Carson had given her of their children.

She had no idea how he would react, because they had very rarely talked about having children together, but she had always assumed that he would like children of his own. He had been a wonderful father for Torren since Kanaan had left her, but Torren was not his biological child, so she hoped that he would be happy to have children with her.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Carson came and sat next to her, "how are you feeling this morning luv?"

"I still do not feel like eating, but I must confess I am still wondering on how I will tell John that I am having twins."

"Just tell him Teyla, he absolutely adores you and Torren, I can't imagine him not being happy about it."

"I guess you are right and I was considering telling him on Christmas day, I believe, at least I hope that it will be a lovely Christmas present for him."

"I think it will be a lovely surprise for him. Now, why don't you eat something and then you can come and pick him up and take him home for lunch."

"I will try Dr Beckett and I really hope that you are right about John."

"John is asleep at the moment, so I am happy to sit and have breakfast with you."

"Thankyou Carson."

They sat there in silence enjoying the view while eating their breakfast and Teyla knew that she had a lot to celebrate this year, which is why she had decided to sing a song of gratefulness at the Christmas party that evening.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

John was sitting on his bed waiting for Carson to release him from the infirmary, he'd spent most of the morning sleeping and now he was completely bored. This was no way near the worst lead up to Christmas he'd had, but it was bad enough.

The years following his mother's death were a miserable time for him, particularly at Christmas. The second Christmas after his mother had died, he'd ended up in hospital with pneumonia and his father had been strangely absent. After complaining to his father that he didn't feel well, his father had told him to quit complaining, because men shouldn't admit to ever feeling sick. He'd spent the rest of that day in his room and not bothered to even come down for meals, he hadn't felt hungry anyway, so it didn't really matter.

Dave had told him later, that when he didn't come down for breakfast the next morning, he had gone up stairs looking for him and found him having a seizure. He'd found out later that his temperature had risen to 106.

He hadn't thought about his turbulent teenage years since his father had died and he wondered why he was thinking about then now, maybe it was because he wanted to be a good father for Torren and he didn't want him to ever experience the lousy Christmas' he'd experienced as a child. Although Torren wasn't his biological son, he loved him as much as he would any child of his own flesh and blood and he hoped that he would have his own biological children in the near future.

"Okay Laddie are you ready to go home?" Carson asked as he walked into the room interrupting his thoughts.

The first thing he noticed was that Carson was pushing a wheelchair and he wasn't happy about it, "Carson why have you got a wheelchair with you?" He asked suspiciously.

"I don't want you to put any weight on your knee, so until I feel happy about the state of it, you will be in a wheelchair. You may still need surgery on it in the near future, so it's either use a wheelchair, or spend Christmas in the infirmary."

Glaring at his friend, he thought about arguing, but then he saw Carson's don't mess with me, or I'll make your life hell look, so he capitulated, "I guess you're right Carson, but you know how frustrating it is for me to be reliant on others?"

Carson's demeanour changed, "I know lad, but you really need to let others take care of you once in a while. You spend your whole life protecting others without a thought to your own well-being, but you need to realise that there are people that want to protect you as well."

Things were really becoming emotional and the last thing he wanted was to continue this conversation, so he decided to put a stop to it. "Okay, I'll use the wheelchair, so can I go now?"

"Teyla will be here in a minute to take you home, but until then, let me have a good look at your knee?"

It didn't take him long to lay back on the bed and Carson immediately got to work poking and prodding his knee, "Ow…!" He yelped when he suddenly hit a tender spot.

Teyla walked in the room at that moment, much to his relief, "is he ready to come home Dr Beckett?"

"Aye lassie, can you make sure he stays off of his feet for a week or two, as I'm sure the last thing he wants is to have surgery on it?" Carson said and he didn't miss the glare that was directed his way.

"I will make sure, because the last thing I need it for him to end up in surgery right now."

John was incredulous that they were talking about him when he was sitting right there, "hello I'm right here, and I can make my own decisions."

Teyla looked at him with her don't mess with me look, "we are aware of that John, but everyone knows how well you follow Dr Beckett's instructions."

"Alright can I go now?" He mumbled, while looking at his feet.

Carson helped him settle in the chair, "Yes, and I'll see you tonight."

It wasn't long before Teyla was pushing him through the halls towards his apartment, he kept his head low, since the last think he wanted was for any of his men to see him being pushed through the halls like an invalid.

He was glad when they finally arrived at their apartment and he was relieved that Torren wasn't there because the only thing he needed to do that afternoon was wrap the gifts for Torren and Teyla. With Torren not there, it made it easier to wrap his and hopefully Teyla would go out to pick Torren up later, giving him time to wrap up hers.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The view that greeted John when Teyla pushed him into the mess hall was magnificent. Someone had obviously been back to Gaffer and found an enormous tree and set it up in one corner of the room and whoever had decorated had gone to a lot of trouble. There was brightly coloured tinsel strung around the room and a small synthetic Christmas tree, set in the middle of each table. A food table piled high with Christmas food, including Candy, chocolate, mince pies and shortbread was set up in the corner of the room and someone had made and decorated an enormous gingerbread house. There was also a table fall of savoury food for those who didn't have a sweet tooth. Plenty of alcohol had also been provided, including beers, red and white wines, and apple ciders. There were large pitchers of Zelenka's home made eggnog, which from past experience he knew was pretty potent.

Even though it was Christmas, the wraith and their many other enemies didn't know that, so a large military contingent had offered to be on duty, so that others could have some down time and enjoy themselves.

Torren was sitting on his lap and babbling away about what he had done for the last week, John nodded in the appropriate places and made the odd comment, enjoying every moment that he was spending with his son.

"Daddy, look big tree!" Torren exclaimed loudly in his ear.

That was the first time he'd heard Torren call him Daddy in quite a while. For some reason that no-one could explain, his speech had gone backwards for a while, so for a child of almost three he had a lot of catching up to do.

"I know, it's even bigger than ours isn't it?"

Torren nodded and continued to stare at the tree, while Teyla pushed the wheelchair into the room and found a table to park it at.

"John this is wonderful, did you go to such parties as a child." Teyla commented with her eyes wide and John had to admit that she looked more a little girl enjoying her first Christmas party, than the incredible woman she was.

He was about to launch into a long story about the parties that his parents used to throw when Woolsey stood up to make an announcement.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am happy to see that so many have turned out to celebrate Christmas with us this year. It has been another difficult year, but I am happy to say that we have made it through without the loss of one single member of our expedition. There has been some severe injuries and several men and women have been sent back to earth, but we have prevailed as a people. I just want to say thank you to everyone for your outstanding effort this year and I hope you have a brilliant evening."

Once Woolsey sat down, John turned to Teyla, "how about we have something to eat and then I'll tell you all about the Christmas parties that Mom and dad used to have."

"What would you like to eat John, there seems to be so much choice."

"I'll have some of everything and can you get me a beer as well."

"Are you allowed to drink alcohol. You were only released from the infirmary this morning?" Teyla commented with concern in her eyes.

"Yes, Carson has said that it's okay for me to have a couple of beers tonight."

"I said he could have one!" Carson stated firmly, coming up to join them at the table.

"That would be right I disappear for a few weeks and Colonel Sheppard ends up in the infirmary disobeying the doctor's orders." Jennifer smirked, as she and Rodney came up to join them.

John looked around and was happy to see that almost everyone was there, "where's Amelia and Ronon?"

"Change of plans, Ronon is not due back until tomorrow, so Amelia has offered to work tonight." Carson informed him.

He nodded, looked around the table at his friends and he found himself incredibly grateful that they had made it through another year. "I was about to tell Teyla about the Christmas parties my parents had when I was a child."

"That sounds like fun, I'll tell you what kind of parties, my father used to have," Rodney commented with a look of excitement.

John smiled at the scientist, he loved it when Rodney had an excited look on his face and Christmas was one time that he was so happy. "I look forward to that."

"Tell me a tory Daddy?" Torren asked, looking up at him.

"Sure will, once everyone has some food."

Five minutes later, when everyone was seated and had a plate of food in front of him, John started telling them of the Christmas' he had enjoyed as a child, "every year on Christmas eve my Mom would hire one of the most expensive function centres in the area and hold a Christmas party to raise money for charity."

Teyla look at him with confusion, "what is a charity?"

"A charity in an organisation that raises money, for people who are less fortunate than others, they may raise money for people who sick, or people who have less money than others." Jennifer explained.

Teyla turned to stare at him, "so your family had a lot of money?"

"Yeah, Ronon told me that he's loaded. He saw the house that Sheppard grew up in and it was huge."

Glaring at him, John continued, "anyway, Dave and I would dress up in our finest clothes and as a family we would head out for dinner. After we had spent a few hours over dinner Mom and dad would head over to the charity event and Dave and I would go home, watch a movie, and then head to bed, excited about what Christmas day might bring."

"And did you do this every year?" Carson asked with interest.

"Yep, we did it every year until my Mom died. The year she died Dad still went to the Charity event, but there was no family dinner and there certainly wasn't a Christmas tree to wake up to the next morning."

The mood around the table turned sombre, "I am sorry John."

John shrugged his shoulders, not wanting to destroy the mood, "don't worry about it Teyla that was a long time ago and right now I am here with my closest friends and family and that's all that matters."

"Hey," Rodney said in an excited manner, "do you want to know about my parent's Christmas parties when I was a kid?"

John plastered a fake smile on his face, "Sure McKay."

"Well every Christmas Eve, my father would invite every important scientist that he knew to our house and then he would have Jeannie and I perform scientific experiments for them. Dad and his friends were hard to impress, but most years Jeannie and I succeeded."

John was kind of astounded by Rodney's stories, "really and did you enjoy that?"

"Yes, I did and we did it every year until I left home."

"I am glad you enjoyed yourself Dr McKay." Teyla said in her usual soothing tone.

The conversation continued for a while longer, before Woolsey stood up and announced that it was time to sing some carols.

John felt kind of embarrassed when they all started to sing. Singing wasn't exactly one of his strengths. The choir lead them in 'Silent night', 'o' come all yea faithful', 'Once in Royal, David's city' and 'We wish you a merry Christmas.' And he was glad when it was over, although looking at the faces of those around him he was surprised to see that they all had huge smiles on their faces and it appeared that they had actually had a good time.

Before he had a chance to comment, or make fun of his friends, Woolsey stood up and announced, "Now Teyla is going to get up and sing us a traditional Athosian song, to help us Celebrate Christmas."

John looked at her with a sense of pride in his eyes, "Teyla, I never knew that you were going to sing for us?"

"This is my gift to Atlantis," she commented as she made her way to the makeshift stage.

He sat enthralled by her beauty and when she opened her mouth to sing, he was blown away, not just by her voice, but by the words of her song.

"We are all one family,

We all are all in this together,

We all have a common hope,

We all have a common purpose,

We all want someone to love,

We all want to be loved by someone,

But most of all we all need to be grateful for what we have,

And be grateful for the ones we love

The words flowed out of her mouth and John was in awe of his fiancée, she was certainly one of the most precious people in his life, Torren was the other, and he would be ever grateful for getting a chance to spend his life with them. By the time she had finished, his tears were flowing freely and he tried to hide his face, so that no-one could see him.

He felt a soft hand on his and he looked up to see Jennifer smiling at him, "don't worry John, Carson tells me you've had a concussion and a high fever, and that can cause a heightened emotional state, days or weeks afterwards."

Nodding at her he tried to say something and he felt his voice crack, "yeah I've kind of been and emotional mess the last few days."

"We understand," she said glaring at Rodney, who appeared to want to open his mouth.

John suspected had Rodney said something it wouldn't have been kind, but before he had a chance to open his mouth Teyla came and sat down next to him.

"Sweetie that was beautiful, I kind of recognise that song, have you sung it to me before?"

"Yes John, I sang it to you when you were in the infirmary."

Jennifer smiled at her, "well it was lovely."

He looked down at his son, who was asleep on his lap and then he looked up at Teyla surrounded by her friends and he knew that no matter what his teenage years had been like, he'd somehow gotten lucky to end up with the family and friends he had now.

TBC…