A/N: This chapter is kind of experimental and it's... not weird, but it's definitely different. I love playing around with the whole Anakin Skywalker versus Darth Vader thing, but I also don't think I have it all the way down, so this chapter is me playing with that a bit more. A good bit of this chapter is going to be muddled, that is on person because the narrator of that part is very muddled. So if it feels confusing, that means I did something right. I don't know, this chapter was interesting and hard to mess with, but I feel okay with it. I hope you guys feel okay with it to.

As always, thank you all for the support on this story. I am so glad you guys are sticking around for this ride. Hope you guys have a great week!

Summary: The explosion of the Sith Temple places Darth Vader and Ahsoka in a situation neither of them imagined possible. Now in an unfamiliar place that is eerily similar to Mortis, Darth Vader and Ahsoka must face the echoes of their past and work together to find their way back home.

Chapter Eleven: All I Know 1/2

A heavy breath left as Anakin held onto the unconscious Togruta girl leaning against him limply, the Force swirling around them with a strange song of joy and sorrow, his own signature a mess of regret and pain he knew would not leave. The dark side was not that strong this planet, but neither was the light side. If anything, he was the powerful conduit of the dark side here while Ahsoka was the powerful light side.

As he was more aware of the Force here, he could now sense the light side in her, so bright and strong and good. His grip tightened around her at that, his eyes shining with tears he could not shed. One eye a glowing yellow and the other a clear blue. This was all his fault. He damned the galaxy, caused so many to suffer, killed without remorse, even now he didn't have remorse for his actions because he couldn't separate the perspectives. The betrayal, the guilt, the anger, the hurt, it was all overwhelming his senses. The only thing grounding him in this moment was the one he could have called his sister.

A trembling breath left him, he looked down at Ahsoka's face and swallowed thickly, "I am, I am so sorry Ahsoka."

If he could keep her safe, if he could keep her by his side, if he could protect her the way he couldn't anyone else, he would. The dark in him, Darth Vader, was in control though. While Darth Vader and Anakin Skywalker were not completely separate people, they were still the same person, but two sides of the same coin in that regard. The other side could not leave him and he could nor escape. Tentatively, he reached out into the Force, just calling on it, just feeling it, but it gave him no real answer, not that he knew what question to ask. Ahsoka could not help him keep that darkness at bay, but the Force had whispered she was helping him now, that someday some could use the opening she had given. There was hope, but he was so afraid, he was always so afraid.

Clouds rolled in over head in a matter of minutes, Anakin lifted his gaze to the sky as the rain began to fall. When he'd first been in a rain storm, he'd loved it. At first the thunder and lightning had him scared, but the idea of water just pouring down from the sky was incredible. He remembered being so happy about it, Obi Wan… Obi Wan had told him not to play in the rain for long or else he would get sick. Anakin of course hadn't listened and was sick for days, but it had been worth it.

The usual hate that rose in Anakin at the very thought of Obi Wan did not come, only a deep wave of sorrow and pain at the betrayal he still felt from the man. One day, one day he would find him. The dark side started to rise in him again, Darth Vader trying to take back complete control of him, but the darker part of him could not get a firm grip on him. At first, he didn't know why, but when he looked down at Ahsoka again, he understood why. There was a faint glow to her orange skin, brightening it slightly in the dark that had come with the clouds and rain. Even if she knew she was not enough to keep the darkness away, she was still going to shine light for him.

I won't leave you! Not this time.

The weight of those words had struck him so hard, much harder than he would have expected if he was being completely honest. She left him, she left Anakin Skywalker, at the Jedi Temple. After all he had done, after he stood by her, she did not continue to stand by him. Then she returned for a brief moment, but with the circumstances, they could not talk and they had to part ways again. All this time, everything that had happened and somehow, they ended up back here together. Somehow, she still care about him. Even knowing who he is now, knowing all he's done, she still cared.

You were my brother Anakin, I loved you.

Ahsoka had never said those words to him, they belonged to Obi Wan, but in the visions of the past they shared, her voice had wrapped around in his. In the vision, he saw Ahsoka looking back at Obi Wan's hologram at the age of seventeen, during the Siege of Mandalore. She'd fought in a war at such a young age, she'd been incharge of troops at fourteen, lives in her hands. On Mandalore, she had to leave, but she stopped and turned to look at Obi Wan, her expression serious, pleading, determined.

'Tell Anakin….' she had said then.

'I will,' was Obi Wan's response.

Those were the things she had meant to tell him. He realized it as he sat there, still holding her sleeping form like a child. All this time, she had wanted to tell him that she wouldn't leave him, that she loved him, still did. But he didn't deserve that, he didn't deserve her care. Anakin shook his head, what has he done? The rain began to pour down harder than before. As carefully as he could, he lifted Ahsoka into his arms and started walking, a war raging inside his mind. The light of Anakin fighting the dark of Vader.

The rain soaked his robes and even if it wasn't the most comfortable, he relished it. The last time he had felt something so natural, so organic and real. Being trapped in the suit that kept him alive was a nightmare, one he knew he would never wake, one he knew he didn't deserve to wake from. More machine than man, more monster than anything else. Everything here, it was all such a mess, it was all so messed up and he didn't know what to do.

He had no idea what he could even do, what was there to do? Get out of here maybe, but even if he and Ahsoka made it out of here in one piece, what would happen then, what would happened when they left? Would they even remember this? Was this even real? Maybe it was all in his head, maybe this was some form of after life. His mind kept spinning as the rain poured, the thunder roaring overhead with cracks of lightning flashing in the sky. He didn't know, he felt like he didn't know anything. The rain poured down harder.

They needed shelter, otherwise they would get sick. Well there was a chance they wouldn't get sick considering this place was filled with the Force and he likely would be able to use it to keep the sickness or symptoms away. Force healing, something he wished he could have learned, something he wished he could have done to save Padme, to save his child.

Anakin stopped walking for a moment then, the grief flooding all his senses, making the emotional pain turn physical, breaking him. He couldn't breathe, for the first time since he had gotten here, he couldn't breathe. This was all so wrong, this shouldn't have been how life turned out. His family, his wife, his child, they should all be alive. Everything was so wrong, it was all his fault- no, it wasn't his fault. The Jedi did this, they failed him, Palpatine failed him, they failed him. This wasn't his fault, he couldn't be the one to blame, it couldn't be him. No, no it couldn't be.

Vader tried to draw on the pain while Anakin tried to block it, regardless the dark side wrapped around him like a blanket, yet the light side shined like a beacon, though not from him. From the still asleep girl in his arms.

Now wasn't the time for him to get lost in his own war in himself, he needed to find shelter for them, for her. Ahsoka had grown up so much since the last time he had seen her, since she left the Order, since he met her that first day on Christophis. So many things had changed, so many things had happened. There was nothing left of him really.

Ahsoka stirred at that, a pained sound leaving her as her skin started to glow some more.

"What's wrong," he asked her, not knowing if she would answer. She didn't.

However he got a whisper in the Force, she was a living conduit of the light side of the Force, or at least she would be one day. He didn't know how, he didn't understand how he knew that, but it was there and he couldn't fight a smile at that. Proud, Anakin felt so proud of her. Then that pride was replaced with his own shame for all he had done to her, for all that had happened- now wasn't the time.

Anakin walked onward, the rain soaking the two of them and he shivered at the feeling. Even if it was uncomfortable, it was better than sand and better than the suit, so he would not complain about it. After several long minutes, maybe even an hour of walking, he came to a rock formation and was pleased to see that there was an opening for them to get into. He walked inside and set his former charge down gently, her orange skin still glowing faintly. It worried him, but he knew there was no danger there, nothing would hurt her, he wouldn't let anything hurt her. Not again, he couldn't.

Anakin let out a heavy breath, everything was so... it was so wrong. His mind felt both clear and fogged by everything running through his mind. It slightly reminded him of the visit to Mortis, when the Son had showed him the future where he would do all these awful things. A frown grew in his face, he hadn't remembered that before, it had always been a blank spot for him in Mortis. Now it wasn't. He wondered why he could remember now. It must have been this place. Anakin rose to his feet, he glanced down at Ahsoka who was still asleep and then turned away to walk deeper into the cave.

As he continued walking deeper, he couldn't ignore the strange and unsettingly feeling that he wasn't, he wasn't whole. As if something were missing or being taken. His first thought was Ahsoka, had she been taken, had she run off, had something come for her? But when he turned around to look in the direction she was in, he found only darkness. He could barely see the speck of light to where he had come from and he recalled the formation hadn't been big or extend into anything else. This was some kind of Force vision, he knew it.

The Force was… unsettled as well, there wasn't any balance, it was unstable in here. It reminded him of himself, how there was no balance in him. It was that thought which caused a wave of pain to rush through him, real physical pain despite there being no wound to place it, no attack here, no danger. It passed in a few moments, but once it had, he could hear… he could hear the breathing of his life support again. His body felt heavier than before, familiar as he had been in the suit for more than a decade.

The dark side swirled around him, but the light side as well, only much weaker. The angrier and darker persona that was Darth Vader took control here, Anakin didn't fight it, he didn't have to. He could… he could stand on his own. As strange as it sounded, but he felt himself stand, no longer in pain, lighter and not so, not so like Vader.

Darth Vader. It was the only name he knew and answered to, his birth name was something he never thought of. Not anymore. Not when everything Anakin Skywalker was gone. However, there were… moments when Anakin Skywalker made appearances in Vader. They weren't sparks, but they were little lights in the darkness.

The darkness flashed to light, just white light all around, all he could see, but it wasn't blinding. He would have focused on it harder, trying to find anything to mark where he was, but was distracted as he looked down at himself to see he was back in his suit that Palpatine had gifted him, though he noticed the red tint wasn't there. Despite knowing this wasn't real, it gave him little comfort. There was telling what challenges he would face while here, what monster would lurk around the corner.

"That's kind of ironic, don't you think?"

Vader stilled for a moment before he spun around to face the owner of the voice. Behind him stood Anakin Skywalker, dressed in darker robes with longer hair. The way he looked in the second half of the Clone Wars, when he was twenty-one. As much as Vader would liked to call this an apparition, he could feel that wasn't true. This was indeed Anakin Skywalker, this was him, a part of him. If not for the fact that he could still see the other piece of him, seeing into his head the way Anakin was seeing into his own, he wouldn't have believed and said it was just an illusion. Or perhaps it was still an illusion, a tricky and convincing one. Anakin Skywalker studied his counterpart for a few moments, he knew exactly what he looked like in the suit, but it was strange to see him in the flesh or in the metal before him like this.

"I gotta say, this is strange," said Anakin as he walked over to Vader.

"Stay back," Vader growled at him, "I have no interest in this trickery."

Anakin's brow quirked, "I can't believe this is how we talk now. The voice, rigid, precise and calculating. Though I suppose it made sense to. "

Vader didn't say anything, he only glared at the man as his anger and hatred burned. The dark side grasped his chest, he felt it pump through his veins and his eyes turned an amber shade of yellow. Anakin only stared at him, his eyes still a crystal like blue, the dark side leaving him be in favor of focusing on his darker counterpart. The light in response wrapped around Anakin. The Force was fighting, using the same man.

As they stood there in this plain, Darth Vader found his anger and hate for this man, his former self, grow and flourish in the dark side. It gave him power, it gave him strength. He destroyed Anakin Skywalker, he would ensure that the weakling would never have another chance to ruin everything. He hated Anakin, he hated himself with every piece of his being.

Anakin tilted his head to the side, "Glad to know we both hate each other. You're a monster, I'm a monster."

"You were weak, I destroyed you," Vader shouted at him, his anger causing the red tint to return.

"No you didn't," Anakin replied sharply, "At least, not alone. Palpatine did a lot of work to destroy us."

Vader found he couldn't grit teeth, he spit out a reply, "And I will destroy him as well."

"And then what, rule the Empire for yourself," Anakin asked him with a shake of his head.

"State your purpose here," Vader demanded, tired of this game.

Anakin didn't answer right away, instead he studied Darth Vader and tugged at the Force around them. He wasn't an apparition, not in the way that the Ahsokas were. This Anakin Skywalker was real, the conscious parts of Vader where Anakin Skywalker was meant to be locked away had broken free. From the bond with Ahsoka, she had unlocked Anakin Skywalkers cage. Though she could not keep the darkness away or be a strength for his light, she had done something no one else could. She had opened the door, she had reached him and now that there was an opening, it would remain. It was that realization that caused fear to pulse in what remained of Vader's heart.

Throughout his time as the Enforcer of the Empire, he would sometimes hear the voice of Anakin screaming at him or other times whispering at him. Almost in the way a conscience would, but Vader had always managed to shove him aside. There were few exceptions he could recall that he couldn't. Yet it seemed here, in this moment, he knew that Anakin Skywalker had grown more powerful with Ahsoka's help, which meant keeping his weaker self at bay that much harder.

"You're real," Vader said, it was a statement and question.

Anakin nodded once, "You've accepted that I can never leave you. No matter how hard or how far you run, you cannot escape me. And I have accepted that you are a part of me. The parts of me I never wanted out."

Anakin looked down to the white floor, shame surrounded him, guilt and plenty of sorrow, but mixed in at the center of it was acceptance. Darth Vader called on the dark side of the Force, he wanted this vision over, in some ways so did Anakin, but he would not let himself off the hook that easily. This man was full of contradictions, he had been shaped into something he never wanted to be.

It all started with a boy who just wanted to help people, who just wanted to save his mother, to make the galaxy a better place. How had things gone so wrong? How had he been so torn apart and broken down that his conscious would forever be at war with each other? That Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader would forever fight for dominance of one body, the dark and light always battling for control. He would never have balance, there would never be any peace for him, not that he deserved. Neither part of him believed he deserved it, only the pain and suffering of himself is what he deserved.

"We're one man," Anakin said quietly, "One machine, one monster."

Darth Vader said nothing at that, not sure he should say anything. It was bizarre enough to see his former self here in front of him like this, strange enough to be seeing the perspective of both minds despite it being one, just at different points in time. He hated this, he hated Anakin Skywalker, he hated himself. The darkness, it gripped him tightly, it gave him strength to breathe, it took power to continue on. Power he had, power that he was, power that Anakin wasn't. Anakin looked at his horrors, Darth Vader did not see them as horrors.

"We are not the same," Darth Vader replied flatly.

Anakin gave him an unimpressed look, "Don't try to deny it now. We are the same person, the light and dark. If we intend to get through this, we have to come together. You have to be willing for the light to come in."

"Never," Vader hissed at him.

Anakin unclipped his lightsaber, a brilliant blue blade came to life. The white landscape vanished, leaving only darkness and all that could be seen was the blue blade along with few outlines of Anakin Skywalker. Then, the Jedi knight attacked. Vader just barely managed to avoid being cut down by the Jedi Knight, but he couldn't simply dodge the attacks forever, he needed to fight back.

But unlike his altercation with the Ahsoka's, he had no weapon to defend himself. No, he had the Force. Vader called on it, he Force pushed Anakin Skywalker away. He slid back, using his lightsaber to jam it into the ground to slow the sliding. It reminded him of Ahsoka, how she did that on Mortis, how she did anywhere really. The white landscape returned in the blink of an eye. Anakin rose to his feet, his blade still out, but he made no move to attack him again.

"Do you remember building your first lightsaber, our first one," Anakin said clipping it back to his belt.

Of all the things his counterpart was going to do, that was the least expected. Darth Vader would have guessed he would have had his counterpart all figured out, but it seemed even he still had some surprises in him. Though it did not make sense to him. Vader growled, frustrated at his confusion. Why would he ask that question after trying to attack him? What was the point of this, why was he here? They were the same man, so he should know him better than this and not be surprised by what actions he would take.

"You just going to stand there or you going to answer me," Anakin added when his counterpart said nothing.

Vader glared at him, "What is the meaning of this? You attack then want to talk. I find your tactic ineffective."

Anakin glanced up, "Only when the light's off. Try to keep it on, otherwise we really won't get anywhere in this state. There's already enough fighting in our own head, a conversation would be a nice change of pace."

"I grow tired of this," Vader commented darkly.

Anakin rolled his eyes, "Yeah, well I've been tired of you. Answer the question, do you remember or not?"

Vader begrudgingly complied, "Yes. I remember."

Anakin's grin was triumphant, "Great. Your journey into the caves of Ilum had been an interesting one to be sure. We're going to build our lightsabers, soon actually. Soon as you and I are done here, we can all go there."

"How do you know this, but I do not," Vader asked harshly.

If they truly were the same man in this moment, why would one know more than other at this point? How could he possibly know? Darth Vader clenched his fists in anger and annoyance. He wanted this apparition to be over, to get off this Force forsaken planet and-

"And what, get back to Empire, the Emperor who treats us like his slave," Anakin interrupted his thoughts with a snarl.

Anger burned in Vader's veins, he ignited his red blade, "I am no one's slave."

Anakin ignited his own blade, "You are, we are! We are just slaves to the Empire, to the Emperor, to the dark side. We were born a slave and we will die a slave if you cannot let the light in!"

"I am not a slave," Darth Vader roared, the white background vanished to darkness.

Their lightsabers clashed against each other, the Force of their blows sent them both sliding back away from each other, the air forced from each of their lungs. Anakin Skywalker was not a fool, he knew that it would only be a matter of time before Darth Vader cut him down, before he lost yet another fight, but he needed to cement himself here. The Force of this planet whispered to half his consciousness, telling him of a hopeful future that the light would not leave him. He didn't know how, when or why, only that it was possible.

Darth Vader stalked forward, towering presence that shined in the red light. Anakin Skywalker glared at him, the darkness in both of them rising forward, the darkness of one man swirling in the Force itself as their red and blue blades clashed again. Each consciousness giving it everything they had, the swings of light blurring together, it was almost hard to tell where the blue began and the red ended.

"You are weak," Darth Vader snarled at him. "You are nothing! Powerless, I have made us powerful!"

Anakin leveled him with a sinister glare, "I was not nothing, I was never nothing. This power you have, we didn't need. Padme still died, our child still lost. Our brother, our sister, our life!"

Darth Vader swung his blade down hard and fast, Anakin barely blocked as the Sith Lord spoke, "They failed us!"

"I thought we were separate," Anakin said through clenched teeth as he held up his blade.

"One monster," Darth Vader said coldly, putting more pressure on the blue blade, forcing Anakin to his knees, "There is only room for one of us."

Anakin stared up at his darker half, he shook his head, "You're wrong. There's a chance, a chance for light, for some good to reach us."

Darth Vader radiated anger, his tone furious, "There is nothing good in us. It is gone."

"All I know is," Anakin huffed, his blue gaze focused on the tinted lenses, "All hope is not lost for me."

(Anakin!)