Hey, it's me, MortemP! This is a sort of prologue starter thing for a Harry Potter/Undertale fic I had planned to write. Meant to be a Crack fic
I may or may not continue with it, that's why it's here. In the Land Of Not So Lost Things
Death was at all like they had said. It was just like falling asleep they sail, You won't feel a thing they said. How wrong he was to believe them.
For starters, Harry couldn't even begin to stress how much the guy liked puns... Yup, he didn't mean death as in—the end of all things living—no, he meant the Grim Reaper a being who would walk you on to the next life be it "Heaven"; " Hell" or your next great adventure in a completely different world with a new perspective... and tell terrible jokes like there's no tomorrow.
Another thing Harry could tell you about the Big Daddy Reaper was that he didn't even remotely resemble those tall skeletal creatures with wings the Grim Reaper is usually depicted as in those folk tales you've no doubt heard of at least once in passing. No, instead he's as short as an eleven-year-old with a permanent grin plastered on his seemingly chubby skull-like face who also wore a blue hoodie and pink slippers... Harry would also tell you the guy is a god-damned lazy bones. How that guy ended up with a job as important as Reaping souls was a mystery to him... one he was sure he didn't want to solve. Ever.
Back to why He has brought you here. Believe it or not. Harry was a normal person just like you—before he met the Reaper that is, — well okay maybe not. A lifetime ago he—
(‡Seriously?! Mate this is not the time! *wad'ya on about? i don't see what ya got against puns. s'not like they know what i'm talking about just "chill" out bro—‡OI! I mean it! I'm serious! Cut it out— don't 'cha mean your harry? actually, it would be he— ‡ Hey! No spoilers!... Just please shut up Mors or I swear to P... * alright alright, kiddo yeesh. no need for that... tough crowd am i, right? ‡ OKAY! Back to the story! Sorry about him folks he'll leave soon... hopefully...)
Yes, ahem, right... He had once been one of the very few humans gifted with magic. A wizard if you will. I bet you've heard of him. Green eyes, jet black-gravity-defying-hair, round glasses and... uh right! a scar in the shape of a lightning bolt, goes by multiple names or titles. Mors' favourite being the "Master of Death" smiley trashbag gets a kick out of it every time.
(*heh, ya got me there...pffffffft—‡ Mors! I swear! *yeesh alright i get it already ‡ Mhmmm, So where were we?)Full name is Harry James Potter. Number one undesirable and former holder of the title "Boy-Who-Lived"... yes thanks to the great and powerful Mors—the lazy skeleton...(*with a 'skele-ton' of jokes in his pinky bones—‡... even I could tell that was the worst one yet.) with an atrocious sense of humour. Had decided right as Harry had arrived in his shambles of an " office" that he would be the perfect test subject for his new way of deciding what to do with souls that were unlucky enough to end up with him.
It had involved a deceptively normal six-faced die, Harry himself and a dartboard with random numbers written all over and a coin. He had been confused, to say the least. His fate had been decided by the flip of a coin, literally.
The dice was for the age he would arrive in his next "great adventure" in, the dartboard for the dimension he would be deposited in.
(Read: dumped in)
Now they think your smart enough to guess what the coin was for. But encase you aren't... it was to decide the gender of the reincarnated soul—tails represented male and heads female... Harry's coin landed on heads and when his soul had been shrunken down to the size of a pinhead it was far too late for him to curse the lazy Reaper.
All he or rather she could do was scream her tiny lungs out with her eyes squeezed tightly shut. Her mind as young as it had become was unable to focus on why she was so distressed.
I could tell you what the other to obscure activities had done... but I won't that's something you will need to discover on your own.
As I said I don't know if I should continue with this one... or put it up for one of y'all to adopt and write it better than I could.