"And then Franky says go suck on ya grandmama's tits and the little fuckin' bastard ran away cryin'." One of the demons finished his story with a laugh.
The Blue Rose was quite busy today. An entire crime family was here to celebrate some important business deal they made with some overlord.
Normally employees would feel on edge around this type of clientele, but after Benny used his special hands to frisk every one of them before they even had a chance to come in, it became much easier for his waitresses to relax.
"Three more Manhattans, six beers and a scotch on the rocks." relayed Bella, one of the waitresses to the barkeeper, who just sighed and got to work.
This was so boring. You would think that gangsters would be at least a bit prone to experiment with their beverages, but it was pretty much these three same drinks all evening.
Well, at least the girls are getting some good tip money. He thought as he sent his employee back with the drinks, which the clients requested.
She however soon had a lot of trouble trying to stop the drinks from spilling, when the radio next to her turned on by itself. The room was soon filled by the happy tunes of Hula Girl by Sol Hoopii, but the song quickly became more and more distorted as the time went on and just as Benny was about to send one of his hands to turn the blasted thing off, it stopped and the door opened.
All of the customers watched in horror as one of the most notorious overlords in Hell waltzed right through the door with a spring to his step. Alastor giddily made his way to the counter and sat down on the bar stool and gave Benny who was now looking angrily at him an innocent smile.
"Alastor, how many times have I told you to cut that radio interference crap out? It creeps out my customers and I ain't too fond of it myself either." Benny reminded the radio demon a glanced at the tables filled with previously celebrating mob members, who now silently stared at the pair, ready to run at the first sight of trouble.
Alastor quickly understood Benny and after a small wave to the other clientele started shouting.
"Greetings everyone, I apologise for interrupting your merriment, please don't let my bad habit spoil your fun, in fact allow me to order you all a drink!" Alastor exclaimed and then theatrically slapped a thick wad of cash on the bar countertop.
After this show of charity, the crowd of mobsters relaxed once again as they all began placing new orders. After a few short minutes the atmosphere shifted back to its original state.
"Well Al, that was awfully generous of you, what's the occasion?" Benny asked as he let out a sigh of relief, glad he probably wouldn't lose too many customers tonight.
"Ha ha, I just landed a fun new job, my dear fellow!" Alastor answered excitedly and his toothy smile only widened.
"You doing 'screamterviews' again? I never thought I would see the day... so which frequencies should I avoid from now on?" The bartender remembered when he first experienced one of Alastor's radio shows himself, it was awfully hard to fall asleep after that.
"Oh, it's nothing like that, you are looking at the new Hazbin Hotel co-manager!" The radio demon happily clarified.
"Hazbin? Can't say I heard that name before..." Benny said as he reached for the small bottle of Peychaud's Bitters, ready to start making a Vieux Carré for Alastor, but stopped just a moment before his fingers made contact with the little flask.
"Say Alastor, you are from the Big Easy aren't ya?" The barman asked when a new idea made its home in his head.
"Why yes, the wonderful city of New Orleans was my home for more than thirty years! Why do you ask?" Alastor inquired as he patiently waited for his drink.
"Well if you are really looking to celebrate something special, I might have just the thing for you. Give me a minute." Benny said before he quickly disappeared into the storage room just next to the bar. The radio demon watched with interest, but his eyes widened once the other man returned with an ornate metal bowl connected to shallower one under it by three metal legs with a rather strange looking ladle sticking out of it.
"Is that really…"
"Yes, an authentic Café Brûlot bowl. I got it last month and completely forgot about it." The pubkeeper admitted with a smirk.
"So, what do you say, Alastor? Will you be my lab rat for this experiment?" he asked before grabbing a large and probably expensive bottle of vintage brandy from the top shelf.
"Ha ha ha! My friend, you never fail to impress me!"
With those words of encouragement, Benny got to work. Normally it would be a true test of skills even for some of the best barmen, that the world had to offer, to prepare such a complicated and dangerous drink while also keeping up with other orders, but thanks to his many hands, he had no problem doing just that.
A small but slowly growing audience began to assemble around the counter once Benny set both bowls on fire and started pouring the slowly burning alcohol over an orange peel back into the vessel.
After a while the blue-skinned demon stopped and dropped the peel, which was previously held by a fork into the bowl and slowly poured an entire kettle full of coffee into the burning mixture until its flames were vanquished. The final product filled the entire pub with wonderful aroma and the mobsters began to feel the need to approach its source only to be stopped by Alastor's menacing presence.
After the small show, the blue-skinned demon picked up the ladle and poured a small cup of the dark liquid for the radio demon and one for himself.
"Cheers, mate." Benny said as he raised the cup.
"To your health, friend." Alastor responded and mirrored the demon's gesture and they took a sip.
The radio turned on once again, but this time, gentle tunes of Armstrong's What a Wonderful World filled the room with no distortion whatsoever.
"It's simply wonderful, my friend! The harmony of pure flavour it brings to the tongue…it's perfect!" Alastor said excitedly once he tasted the delicious liquid. Benny was also impressed by the drink, he has heard a few people talk about it, but to taste it on his own was an incredible experience even for a skilled barman like him.
"Excuse me, sir…" And just like that two things happened at once, the calm music stopped and Alastor's head unnaturally snapped back with a loud crack to face the demon who approached him.
The much younger sinner took a quick step back in shock and the entire atmosphere became filled with fear. The radio demon stared at the mobster with wide unblinking eyes and an ever-present toothy smile expectantly.
The young demon felt cold sweat run down his back and a chill up his spine. He didn't intend to gain the overlord's attention, he just wanted to ask the blue demon about the, which drink they were currently savouring. Now however, his lips remained shut and frozen, his hands were shaking fiercely, and his knees felt unstable like never before.
"What is it, lad?" the barman calmly asked as he put down his cup. He seemed unaffected by the complete change in the collective mood.
"I-I-I was just thinkin' about… yo- you know…the drink." The demon asked as he shakily pointed at the cup currently sitting at the counter.
"Oh, do you want to try some too, lad?" Benny asked whilst straightening one of his white classy gloves that slipped just a little from his wrist, when he put the cup down.
"S-sure."
It's interesting how something as simple as a cup of a really good coffee can change the situation for the better. After being served the drink, the mobster left the dangerous vicinity near Alastor and after getting scolded by some of the more experienced occupants of Hell amongst his family, he actually tried the drink, only to find it absolutely delectable.
Pretty soon two more brave souls approached the duo and got the same drink and then so many people started ordering it that Benny had to make four more pots of the stuff.
"Gotta be honest, I thought I would have to ban you like last, mate. Glad everything turned out fine in the end." Admitted the blue demon as he looked at the collective bill of the mob.
"Ha! That incident was hardly my fault." Alastor proclaimed defiantly with a smirk.
"You broke my telly, mate." Benny reminded the radio demon while tallying how much he should add to the bill.
"Maybe your television was acting like an idiot." Alastor said as he looked at the space previously occupied by the instrument of his enemy's influence before taking another sip from his beverage.
Benny sighed a bit, before finishing his drink. There was no way to tell if Vox had anything to do with the incident since he wasn't present in the pub at the time, so there was nothing that could be done. In the end the radio demon ended up with a month-long ban.
"Let's change the subject, shall we? Tell me about this job you are so excited about. I just can't picture someone like you working shifts." Though the mental image entertained the Benny a bit. He imagined the radio demon chasing unpaying tenants around with his voodoo magic.
"Nothing like that, my friend. It's not that kind of hotel. Haven't you heard about the project of our dear princess?"
"You don't mean…"
"A Hotel that rehabilitates sinners!" The excited voice of Lucifer's daughter exclaimed from Alastor's microphone like a recording with a bit of radio static in the background.
"You are full of surprises today. Don't tell me you of all people want to have a go on this whole redemption business." Benny said as his eyebrows rose slightly in surprise.
"Hahaha, don't be ridiculous, we both know that there's no way either of us is leaving Hell, it's just a bit of entertainment to make this eternity feel just a bit shorter." Alastor said with an amused voice, he could hardly wait for the first customers to show up.
"Well, as least now I'll know, what happened when the people go missing at that place. Another drink, mate?" Benny asked when he noticed, that Alastor's cup was empty.
"A Sazerac, please."
"Coming right up, mate."
Alastor had a few more drinks and after a while most of the customers left either to call it a day or to continue their celebration in a nearby strip club.
However, after the drinks the radio demon's smile slowly shrunk into a small grin, which was extremely unnatural for anyone, who knew him personally. Something also slowly manifested in his voice, an emotion that was hard to place.
"You okay, Al? You look kinda lost, mate." Said Benny after watching the overlord stare at his drink for the last minute without touching it once.
"No, just… bored." Alastor said without any of his previous energy in his voice.
"Well I can put on some music if you like, there are some darts somewhere…"
"No. Not like that… It's just that there is nothing new happening around here." Alastor said thoughtfully, carefully selecting his words.
"You are in hell, mate. Don't you think there's enough chaos around?" Asked Benny with a slight scoff in his voice.
"No, what I mean is, that the chaos just gets old. Sure, every day there is a new serial killer on the street and Extermination once a year, but it's like a sea."
"A sea?" Benny asked a bit confused by the demon's comparison. It's hard to come up with any similarities between a hellscape and a large body of water.
"Yes, you know… when you live near the sea, you just start to ignore the waves after a while."
"Can't really see a difference in that regard, mate. Anything gets old if you do it too much."
"Yes, but when I was still kicking, there were always at least a dozen policemen, trying to corner me and every crime I did filled me with nervousness and that oh so sweet beautiful excitement..." Alastor said as he looked up from his glass and once again made eye contact with the pubkeeper.
He still remembered those times fondly, there was always this sense of ever-present danger, but now, when those stakes had disappeared with his demise so did the excitement stemming from it. He tried everything he could to regain it, challenging some of the most powerful overlords, that Hell had to offer and constantly one upping himself in brutality, however nothing worked.
Benny has hardly ever seen Alastor like this, but it seems that the phrase "in vino veritas" reigns supreme even among the occupants of hell.
"…but now there is nothing more to achieve, everyone is terrified of me and there is hardly anyone left willing to have a friendly conversation. What a degradation of basic decency."
"That's what happens, when you turn people into weird voodoo skin puppets and have them attack overlords. It still gives me the heebie-jeebies." Said Benny as he felt his body go through a few short trembles thanks to his graphic memories.
"Perhaps." The radio demon admitted as he downed his last drink and got up from his seat.
"Say, would you mind if I sent Husker over so he can learn how to prepare that wonderful drink? It could really bring some people to the hotel." Alaster asked as he straightened his red hair.
"No problem mate, just make sure he won't try to run off with my Macallan whisky like last time."
"Can't give you any promises, friend."
"Best of luck in your new job. Hope you enjoy it." The pubkeeper wished the demon as Alastor walked to the door.
"Oh, believe me, I will." Alastor said and left the pub, stumbling a bit with every step he took. All of his costumers were relieved by the overlord's departure, yet Benny's own thoughts were focused on what the radio demon proclaimed.
"…don't be ridiculous, we both know that there's no way either of us is leaving Hell…" Alastor's words replayed a few times inside Benny's mind like a broken record. He had come to the same realization several decades ago, but the thought still caused some discomfort somewhere deep inside his very soul.
"Well, you got that right." He said more to himself than to anyone else as he poured a shot of brandy only to down it a second later.
This chapter was suggested by a fanfiction user Not A Shady Guy, thanks for the suggestion mate.
Next up we have Vaggie.