More help on the way

At a quarter to five they drove off, Mac following Harriet in her own car. She was curious, for Harriet had told her they had to make a visit on the way. It wasn't before long that Harriet turned into a residential area and a few minutes later she stopped in front of a fairly large house.
She left the car and beckoned Mac to do the same. Together they walked to the house and Harriet pressed the button of the bell. An elderly lady opened the door and with a welcoming smile she invited them in.
"I'm Miss Witherspoon. Maud," she introduced herself to Mac.
"Sarah MacKenzie. Mac," Mac answered, shaking hands
Maud showed them into the living, offered them a chair and started to pour strong tea, which was served with milk or lemon and a variety of biscuits.
"I was born in England and to us this is teatime," she explained. Both Mac and Harriet realised it would be rude to refuse and sitting down, took a cup from her.
"So you're looking for costumes for a pageant?" she stated, looking at Mac. Mac looked flabbergasted and Harriet laughed out loud.
"I didn't tell her the reason for our visit," she told the elderly woman. "Mac, you have to know I met Maud a few months ago. She volunteers at the little AJ's day-care once a week. Sometimes we chat and she told me she was going to move into a smaller place and had to find a good home for some of her stuff."
"I used to be a teacher and a Sunday school teacher as well," Maud now told. "I still have a lot of cloths used in pageants and other plays. You're working on one, I understood?"
"Yes, friends of mine, Lena and Lennard Dumont are in charge of the pageant in the Living Fountain Congregation. He does the sets and so and she is in charge of the rehearsals and the costumes. She asked me to help and another friend of mine, Harmon Rabb is helping Lennard. Since the group is so much larger than previous years and budget is tight, she is struggling to get all the costumes ready."
"I'm downsizing before moving into a smaller house in a couple of months. I'd be happy to see these costumes get a new home and purpose," Maud said. "Let me pour you a second cup and then we'll have a look."
She led the two women into a side room. Both table and chairs were covered in costumes, for angels, shepherds, wise men and lots of undetermined persons. Mac's jaw dropped.
"You mean we can have all of these?"
"Yep," the lady answered gleefully. "If you think you can use them. As I said, I'm happy they get a purpose again."
"Lena will be over the moon," Mac assured her. "Next to the tight budget she was bound to have to sew a lot of them herself, as not that many mums have the time for it, or have a sewing machine."
"That's settled then. Now if you help me to pack them in bags?"

Tuesday evening
Lennard and Lena's house
In the evening Mac drove to Lena. She knew the woman would be busy making costumes and she didn't want her to make stuff they already might have now. She knocked on the door and was greeted by a surprised Lena, who didn't waste time in inviting her in.
"What brings you here, Mac? Don't say you're quitting!"
"No, I'm not," Mac laughed. "I come bearing gifts. A friend of mine has a friend who used to direct pageants all the time. But she retired and now she is donating her stash of costumes. So let me take the bags out of the boot first."
She needed three trips to bring in the four large shopping bags and the garbage bag inside. Lena had gone to the kitchen and came back with tea.
Her eyes beamed. "I was working on that," she said, gesturing to the table that was occupied with a small pile of fabric, a sewing machine and a large notebook.
"We have so many more kids than the previous years. I'm sure these come in very, very handy. You must give me her address, so I can send her a thank-you card. And an invitation for the pageant. "
"I will. How are you?" Mac asked.
"Fine, now the first three months are over and I'm not feeling that nauseous anymore. You know, I am an own-account worker, so I can determine my own working hours. Before I worked in the morning and did my own things like housekeeping and church work in the afternoon. But I can just as well sleep in a bit or take me-time in the morning and plan my job later in the morning and in the afternoon." She rubbed her belly lovingly.
"And you, how are you?" she then asked concerned. "You looked tired and stressed last Saturday."
"Mic and I are over," Mac told her.
Lena's jaw dropped.
"What happened?" she asked after a long moment.
"It didn't work out," Mac said, adding "It was in the making for a while. There were a lot of small things … I just had to decide if I loved him enough to … to …" Helplessly she shrugged, unable to explain. "I don't want to talk about it. Not now."
Lena rose to fix a second cup of tea.
"Okay," she nodded. "But when you need a listening ear …"
Mac gave her a grateful smile.
"Lennard busy making props?" she circled back to the pageant.
"Yes. But I don't think your friend is there tonight"
"No, Harm is on an investigation and hopes to be back later this week. He finished some furniture this weekend, though."
"They have to assemble the barn and I guess then it's only loose ends and titbits. I really liked he brought his guitar with him last time."
"Me too. It really helped the kids to stay in tune. And I love to hear him play."
Mac felt Lena's eyes rest on her. To hide her confusion she bent forward and picked up the book lying on the table. It was a book with bible stories. Mac opened it.
"What are you going to read next Saturday?"
"Mary visiting Elisabeth. Why?"
"I … uhm ... when I realised you read the children a story each time, I looked for my old bible and started to read the stories myself. I mean, I've heard them at school and I even attended Sunday school for two or three years, but that's a long time ago. Those kids … they have all those questions and I felt stupid not to be able to answer. I mean, I don't pretend I have all the answers, but to have to confess I don't even know the story …"
Lena nodded understanding.
"I can copy them for you. They list the matching Bible verses at the bottom," she pointed.
"Thanks but no, I don't think I will need that. It'll be enough when you write down the verses," Mac replied.
Lena grabbed a piece of paper and started to write. When she was done and about to hand it to Mac, she hesitated.
"You know, we are not those evangelical Christians, bombarding you with Bible verses. We believe in a life style mirroring our faith and making people curious about our motivations. But can I give you one more verse to read?" she asked a bit shy.
Surprised Mac nodded and Lena scribbled another pair of words on the piece of paper, before giving it to Mac. Mac folded it and tucked it into her wallet for safekeeping.
"Why don't we have a look in the bags?" she suggested and Lena eagerly went with her suggestion.

When she was home later that evening, Mac fetched her bible. First she read the story about Mary visiting her niece Elisabeth and then she searched for the other verses Lena had given her. It turned out to be a well-known part: the thirteenth chapter of the first letter to the Corinthians 'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.' Mac read it slowly and when she reached the end, she reread it pensively. Then she closed the book, brought her used cup to the kitchen and went to her bedroom.

Third weekend of December
Saturday
Church
The play was slowly coming together. Almost all children knew their lines and since Harm had brought his guitar once more, the rehearsal of the songs went well, too. Mac sang along, but Harm could see her weariness. He knew why; when he had called the office the previous afternoon, Harriet had had a lot to tell. He bit back a sigh. He couldn't say he wasn't happy for Mac's break up with Mic, but he was sad and angry at the same time for him giving her such a hard time now. The guy should take his loss with a bit more dignity. He would like to make that clear to him, but knew he couldn't – not without ending up in another brawl and he knew for sure Chegwidden wouldn't like it. To say the least! But he could be there for Mac!

At the end of the afternoon he helped Lena to carry the bags with clothes that needed a bit of altering to the car.
"Anything I should know?" he asked her.
"Guess not. She told me she broke up with Mic, I take it you know that."
"Yes. But before we could talk about it, I was sent on an investigation. There was no opportunity to talk. I was on a ship; calls to shore are limited."
"I see. What are you going to do now?"
Harm sighed.
"Be there for her, I guess. I mean, maybe she needs some personal time."
Lena studied him, her head tilted.
"I think you should give her the choice," she voiced her opinion. "Let her know you are there for her, but that you're not offended if she chooses solitude." She frowned. "But I understood you broke up with your girlfriend, too?"
"I did," Harm confirmed. "Or better said she broke up with me, but I'm fine with it. To be honest, I was already contemplating breaking up with her, but hadn't come up with a way to do so, without causing her too much pain. We parted as friends."
"Good." She smiled at him. "I really hope the two of get it right. I think you will be good together." She looked a bit shy. "We pray for you, for both of you."

Back inside Harm found Mac waiting for him, a bag with stuff next to her. She looked tired.
"I'm ready," she announced.
He nodded, bending over to pick up the bag.
"Anything you like to do tonight?" he asked. Keeping Lena's advice in mind, he hoped for a clue, but "No, I don't want to do anything," she sighed without thinking.
"Then I bring you home?" he concluded, already starting to walk.
She looked at him and only now she realised what she had said and more, how he had received it. She quickly caught up with him and looped her arm through his.
"Sorry, that came out wrong. I meant, I don't want to go out. I want to go home, with you and have a take-out and just spend the evening together, without any pressure. Not having to do anything, not having to talk, just sit and unwind. And your arm around me?" A bit shy and unsure she glanced up to him. "If that's okay with you?"
She saw his eyes light up.
"That can be arranged," he said.

When they were in the car, he reached for his cell phone.
"What do you want, Chinese, Thai, pizza?" he asked.
"Pizza, please."
"Your place or mine?"
"Mine."
She watched him pull out his cell phone and order a half meat, half veggie pizza. Suddenly she had difficulty to keep her emotions in check. She looked out of the window to hide the tears welling up, but in vain. She should have known he wasn't that easy to fool. As soon as he had put his cell phone away she felt his hand on her cheek and he turned her face towards him and his thumb wiped the single tear escaping away.
"Sarah?"
She drew a shivering breath and mutely shook her head. With a last caress he pulled back his hand and got the car going.
"The pizza will be there in forty minutes. That gives us time to a quick visit to Blockbuster's.Any particular movie you like to see?"
"Don't know. Let's just see what they have," Mac suggested.

It turned out to be a chick-flic Mac had wanted to see for quite some time. For a second Harm pulled a face; he wasn't a big fan of chick-flics, but when Mac looked at him, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder.
"Fine with me, Marine," he teased. "After all, I have to give you the opportunity to develop your feminine side, don't I?"
Mac's jaw dropped, but then his comment was met with a poke in the side.
"Ouch!"
Mac just grinned and tossed him the tape.
"Go pay for it. We have to be home when the pizza arrives."
Chuckling Harm did as she ordered. After all, a poke in the ribs was a small price to pay for seeing her smile again.

The rest of the evening was spent exactly according to Mac's wish. When they arrived at her place, she went to the bedroom to change in a pale blue jogging suit and slippers. In the meantime Harm shed his jacket and shoes and grabbed plates, paper napkins and two bottles of water. When she came out of the bedroom, he was just paying the delivery boy.
Sitting on the couch they shared their pizza. When they were done, Harm brought the plates back to the kitchen and made coffee. By then the tape was in the recorder and he re-joined Mac on the couch. Happily she snuggled in and for two hours they were happy watching the romantic intrigues, leaving the heroin marrying the hero in the last minute.
When de credentials rolled over the screen, Ma looked up at Harm.
"Thanks," she sighed. "I needed an evening like this. With Mic …" she felt silent.
"With Mic?" Harm softly asked, when she failed to continue.
Mac sat straight again.
"When Lena told me about the pageant for the first time, I just had poured out my heart about not feeling satisfied, not … fulfilled. My relationship with Mic, it wasn't developing. You know that; we talked about it."
Harm nodded; he clearly remembered their dinner at Luciano's.
"After having tea with Lena, I had to rush home, for Mic was going to pick me up for a date. He showered me with outings and it was really nice, but …" once more she felt silent to gather her thoughts. After all, she didn't want to blacken Mic. He wasn't a bad person, nor had he been a bad boyfriend.
"I realised that when we were at home … he had difficulty … we had difficulty …" she shook her head, annoyed with her own unarticulated words. Harm placed his hand on her.
"You don't have to explain," he stated quietly.
"Yes, I have," Mac objected. "With Mic ... we always had to do something. Just being together, each doing our own thing, he wasn't comfortable with that. And therefore I wasn't relaxed as well. That afternoon I realised how much I missed you and me spending time together, just being content in each other's company. I mean, we do … did things together, but when we decided one of us had work to do, the other didn't feel uncomfortable or excluded."
She waited till he had nodded.
"It was then I really started to contemplate my relationship with Mic. I mean, when you're not …" Her voice hitched in what was almost a sob.
Harm felt his own throat tighten. He didn't know what to say and just opened his arms, leaving it to her whether she did or didn't want his comfort. But she fell into them and sobbed softly. Harm rested his cheek on her hair and let her cry, till, after a few minutes, she freed herself from him and rubbed her eyes.
"I'm sorry," she sighed.
"Why?"
She shrugged.
"For being so emotional?"
"Hey." His hand went up to her face to wipe the last traces of her tears away. "Don't be so hard on yourself. You had a very tense week, then a nasty break up with your almost a yearlong boyfriend and the last week hasn't been exactly easy either."
She looked up at him wide eyed.
"How do you know?"
"Harriet. Yesterday late afternoon I called in to tell I would be back in town and she filled me in. He is not taking it lightly, is he?"
"No." She allowed herself a snort. Not taking it lightly, that was an understatement. He had been brooding, hovering over the office like a dark cloud. Everywhere she went, she felt his eyes on her.
"It wasn't easy," she admitted. "But somehow it reassured me I made the right decision. But I'm also sorry for ... well, for expecting you to comfort me, while you just broke up with your girlfriend. You must also be …" She felt silent, not knowing how to describe his mood.
"Sad? Grieving? Angry?"
She shrugged.
"Something like that, yes."
"I'm not. Grieving or angry, that is. I am somewhat sad, but ... it wasn't going to be. I just didn't love her enough."
"Did you want it to be?"
For a second the remark 'for someone who didn't want to talk tonight you're asking a lot of questions' hung in the air. Then he answered, "Yes, I wanted it to work. I don't start something without the intention to make it work. Especially after Mic turned up … We talked about that."
Mac nodded. She too clearly remembered their conversation at Luciano's restaurant.
"But it didn't work out. I liked her, I was attracted to her, maybe even a bit in love, but that love didn't grow. Something kept missing."
"Why didn't you … Sorry, that might be too personal."
"I don't know. I didn't want to hurt her, I didn't look forward to being alone again …"
Silence ruled for some time. Then Mac's next question came.
"What do you propose?"
"That depends on what you want."
This served to silence Mac. What did she want? It took her a few moments to answer his question.
"For starters I want you back in my life," she said. "During the past year we missed out a lot on each other's life because of having a significant other. And maybe then …" her voice trailed. Was she brave enough to take the first step, again? Harm sensed and understood her awkwardness.
"And then … I don't want it to stop there," he said. "For starters, I want you back into my life, too. I think we should just spend time together. Runs, movie nights, working dinners, an exhibition or a museum, you know, what we used to do."
"To come back in the swing, you mean?"
"Yes. And talk, maybe."
She looked up to him with questioning eyes.
"I mean, we both have our share of baggage. That conversation at Luciano's and this one now are the first adult conversations about our emotions in a long time. I feel some things have been cleared up now, but there are still some issues to discuss."
He clearly had given it some thought and she nodded encouraging.
"Next to that you …we both have to come to terms with a break up and then there is Mic … when we become an item, he certainly won't be happy."
"He isn't happy now," Mac interrupted.
"Exactly."
"You're not afraid …" Once more her voice trailed, realising how stupid the question was.
"No. But the Admiral … he doesn't want problems either. Something he said yesterday morning when I briefed him, made me realise that one of the reasons he gave me this case was that it kept me out of town for some time. I have no intention whatsoever to give him any reason to … to take measures again."
Mac puffed up her cheeks, then blow out a long breath.
"I see."
"And then there was that mail of Mic."
"Mac frowned.
"What mail?"
"An accusing mail. That you were his and I was wiggling my way back in and fraternizing and as sure as he** he wasn't going to let that happen. I take it AJ forbid him contact, too and this was his way to drive his point home."
"Did you report it?"
Harm sighed.
"No. Don't want to be a snitch. But I saved it, as evidence."
There was something in his face and in his voice that made Mac have a second look.
"Don't you let him get under your skin," she warned.
He shrugged.
"He already did," Mac concluded. "What was it, the wiggling-in part?"
Harm nodded, surprised she understood him so well. Mac knew she had to tackle this immediately, before he stared mulling and fretting over it.
"Let me tell you, he is wrong. Completely and utterly wrong. First, you're not the wiggling-in type. Remember when Mic and I fought about your phone call? You backed off, not wanting me to get in trouble."
Harm shrugged. She was right about that.
"Secondly, Mic and I hadn't lasted anyway. Over the past weeks that much became clear to me." She fell silent, thinking about the conversation she and Lena had had in the café, at the end of October. Harm waited patiently till she spoke again.
"In October he started to hint to get engaged over Christmas. It forced me to have a good look at what I really wanted. You know he wasn't happy with me helping with the pageant. When Lennard needed help with the sets, I asked Mic first. He came over, way earlier than we agreed on and expected me to be ready there and then. I showed him into Lennard's workshop and told him about the help needed, but he refused, couldn't be even bothered to think about it for a second. Next to that, his demeanour towards the kids and the conversation, if you could call it that, we had afterwards made it perfectly clear he didn't want children." She swallowed. "I want children, but I'm not going to bring a child into a relationship when I'm not sure it is welcome and will be loved and accepted."
Harm reached out to take her hand.
"It was then that I knew I had thinking to do. I tried to imagine how I would feel, even tried the ring on my left hand, but I didn't feel anything, only a slight panic." She sighed. "It went downhill from there, so to say. All those small things, I couldn't reason them away anymore."
Harm frowned.
"Small things?"
"I mean, there are always things you don't like in the other, but that you accept, because you love him."
"Like annoying little habits?"
"Yeah, or an opinion you don't share. But also things he did or said that hurt. Not hurt terribly, just a little sting. A failed joke, not seeing why something was important to me … things like that. I think Mic felt I was … slipping away and therefor he desperately tried to keep a hold on me. During Thanksgiving dinner I said I was grateful for friends. I couldn't make myself say I was grateful for his love and that was the end. He was furious and accused me I wasn't saying I was grateful for him because of you."
Harm just managed to keep the question 'and was it?' inside. Mac went on, though.
"I said it was about you. And about Bud and Harriet and Lena and Lennard and … well, about all the people I consider friends. That friendship is a precious thing and that there were times I wouldn't have known how I would have coped without friends. But he didn't believe me."
"Hence his accusations," Harm concluded and Mac nodded.
"He needs someone to blame," she said.
Harm nodded thoughtfully.
"Guess you're right," he agreed.
Mac let out a long breath and rolled her shoulders. Harm looked at her. "You look tired. Do you want to talk some more or do you want to call it a day?"
Mac felt a sharp sting of … of what? Disappointment? Feeling dismissed. Was he fed up with her rant? She faced away, but almost immediately felt his hand on her cheek and he turned her head, so she had to look at him. In his eyes was only a genuine concern.
"Hey, I'm just concerned about you," he softly said. "If you want to talk, it's okay."
Mac fought her tears.
"I … sorry. I just feel so …" she paused to find the right word. "So raw, I guess. Like you have an abrasion; even the lightest of touches hurts."
Harm gently pulled her to him.
"I'm only concerned about you," he repeated. "And I want to do what's best for you. If you need to talk more now, I'm fine with it."
Mac rested her head against his chest. He was right; she was exhausted and needed sleep. But at the same time she didn't want to leave the safe haven of his arms.
"If you want me to stay …?" she heard the somewhat uncertain voice of Harm. She looked up.
"Would you?"
"Of course. I have my sea bag in my trunk."
Again she had to fight tears.
"I would love you to stay. To ... to hold me, tonight."

"That's okay, I'll get my stuff." He rose to his feet and left to retrieve his sea bag from his car.

The next morning Mac felt a lot better and even more so after their morning run.

Last Saturday before Christmas
Church
The best word to describe it was 'chaos'. It was the final rehearsal of the pageant, the dress rehearsal and the children were exited, to say the least. They were running around, screaming and pushing each other. The shepherds used their staffs for a sword fight, the sheep quarrelled over their fake fur hats with the floppy ears and one of the wise men cried for not being able to find his gift. The angel and the innkeeper were throwing the doll, which had to depict baby Jesus, to and fro, while 'Mary' desperately tried to catch it. Lena tried in vain to restore the order.
Mac and Harm had run a bit late, because of an extra meeting that morning. Harm had managed to change into civvies, but Mac was still in uniform. Seeing the mayhem she gave a holler that would have made the Admiral proud.
Suddenly it was silent. The children stood as frozen and looked at her in shock. A few lower lips started to quiver and Lena quickly stepped in.
"Kids, that's enough. We are going to rehearse. We want a good performance in two days, right?
Dutifully the children nodded.
"Right, then stand in line, so we can check your clothing." The kids did as told and Lena started to inspect. Each kid that was ready she sent to sit on the front pew, where Harm was keeping an eye on them. In the meantime Mac slipped into the bathroom and changed into civvies as well. When she came back. Lena had almost finished her inspection.
"Everyone has his or her cloths, except the sheep. Mac, can you check whether every sheep has its own hat? The names are written in the inside."
She looked tired and stressed and Mac hastened to gather her little flock and make sure everyone had the right outfit. In the meantime Lennard had made sure all the props, including the missing box of gold, were on the side table, ready to be used. The men carried the first of the sets onto the stage and then rehearsal could start.
Mac kept a watchful eye on the kids that were waiting for their turn to shine on the stage. Now they knew what she was capable of, they were like lambs. Harm had to bite back a smile. That was his Marine.

Halfway the afternoon there was a round of lemonade and a treat and tea for the adults. Harm sat with the shepherds and wise men, of course Ron at his side. One of them pointed to Mac.
"Sir, is that your girlfriend? She is a looker."
"Yes, she is. And we're working on that," Harm calmly stated. Mac heard his answer. She swallowed. Working on that. Luckily Lena called and dutifully the children scrambled to their feet and gathered around her.
Once more they had a run through and at the end Lena declared they had done a good job and were to change into their normal clothes. One by one they reported to Mac or Lena who took their stage outfit and hung it on a clothes hanger with a name tag. Then the kids were free to go. Ten minutes later the hall was empty, except for the adults and Ron, whose mum had called she was delayed again. Harm knew they would once more drop him off on their way home.
Lena sank down in one of the pews.
"You're okay?" Mac sounded concerned.
"Yes. Just a bit tired, it was a short night."
"Something wrong?"
"Nope, neighbours throwing a party."
The men had been collecting props and placing them in order again and now joined the women.
"Do they often cause noise disturbance?" Harm wanted to know.
"No," Lennard stepped in, his hand on his wife's shoulder. "Just once or twice a year. Yesterday they celebrated both their birthdays and they did warn us there would be a party. And in the summer they have garden party. They're good neighbours, always prepared to help. A party with some noise twice a year is a small price to pay."
He smiled at Lena.
"Ready to go? We'll pick up a pizza on the way and then it's an early night for you."
She stood up.
"Yes. I'm ready. Thanks for your help, Mac, I had no clue how to beat that stampede into submission."
They all laughed.
"So I needed my uniform after all," Mac chuckled. Lena frowned.
"Remember our first conversation about the pageant, back then in October? I asked you whether I needed to show up in uniform and you said 'maybe'."
Now Lena laughed, too.
"You're right," she said. "I needed you in uniform after all."
The four adults and one boy walked out of the building and headed for the parking lot. Lena gave both Mac and Harm a hug.
"Thank you so much for your help. See you at Christmas day."
"You're welcome. Yes, see you."

Twenty minutes later they had dropped Ron off and were in the car again. Now there was time to talk.
"Working on it?" Mac asked.
Harm knew she had heard his answer to the boys and had been thinking about his answer.
"Yes," he said. "We agreed to do the things we used to do, like movie nights and runs and so. For starters!"
He waited till she nodded.
"But we also agreed it wouldn't stop there. Not this time. We didn't take that step, yet. But I refuse to call what we have 'just friends' anymore." His gaze was steady and with his fingers he indicated the quotation marks. "So yes, we're working on it."
Mac let out a small gasp. Somehow she hadn't expected him to be so open and forthcoming about his intentions.
"You're okay with that?" Now his voice betrayed his nervousness.
"Yes," Mac whispered. "We're working on it."
He let out his breath in a whoosh and pulled her in a quick embrace, pressing his cheek against her hair. Then he sat straight again.
"Dinner somewhere?" he asked.
Mac hesitated. She was tired, too, and didn't feel like going out. Besides, her chores waited and she had two files in her briefcase that needed to be read over the weekend. But she definitely wasn't ready to dismiss him.
"Chinese take-out at my place," she countered hopefully, her brows cocked. "I'm sorry, but I have still some chores to do and two files to read and I don't want to have to read them on Christmas day."
Harm laughed out loud.
"I know. Same goes for me." He handed her his cell. "Why don't you order something?"

They and the delivery boy arrived at Mac's at the same time. Harm paid and Mac carried the bag upstairs. There she grabbed plates and cutlery and a moment later they were tucking in. Afterwards she made coffee, remembering to make it squid-strong and then they both took a file. For the next hour and a half it was silent, until Harm put his file back into his briefcase.
"Ready," he announced. "Shall I make another coffee."
"Yes, please," Mac answered. "I need another half hour, I think."
Harm went to fulfil his self-chosen kitchen duty and when he was back, he placed Mac mug in front of her and proceeded with browsing her bookshelf for a book he'd like to read. After a few minutes he settled with his choice on the couch again.
When Mac was finished, she too put the files into her briefcase. From beneath her eyelashes she looked at Harm. This was what she had meant, weeks earlier. Comfortable in each other's company, without feeling the need to entertain or to be entertained.
Harm felt her gaze on him and looked up.
"Also done?" he asked.
She nodded mutely and he frowned.
"You're okay."
Once again she nodded, a lump in her throat.
"Mac?"
Now she found her voice back.
"This is what I meant. With Mic … with Mic this, an evening like this wasn't possible." She drew a shivering breath, determined not to cry.
Harm was at a loss of words. He put down his book and reached out with his hand and she stood and sat next to him, her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around and they sat for a while. Finally Harm asked, "Anything I can do?"
"You're doing it," Mac sighed. "I just want another drink, chocolate, and sit for a while, with your arm around me. I don't mind you're reading." And Harm was glad to provide her.
When the clock chimed eleven, he looked down on her.
"Isn't it time you hit the rack?"
Mac nodded a bit reluctantly. She had been very comfortable and wasn't keen on ending the arrangements. But he was right, so she rose and walked him to the door. There she pulled him into a hug. For a moment she felt his lips on her temple.
"Goodnight Jarhead, see you tomorrow evening for Christmas Dinner. Pick you up at five."
She stood on her tiptoes and placed a feather-light kiss on his mouth.
"Yes, five o'clock. Good night, Flyboy."

Christmas Eve
Roberts' residence
Everyone was there. Everyone, except one, that was. As planned Mic Brumby had left Washington two days earlier to celebrate Christmas with his family in Australia, but as if by agreement no one mentioned him. In fact, there was more than one person secretly happy he wasn't there. Among those of course Mac and Harm, but also Harriet, who was still a bit resentful for his behaviour during the Thanksgiving dinner.
Next to that, his demeanour at the office hadn't improved much either. Yes, he stayed civil, but only just enough not to give the Admiral a reason to take action. His civility was icy, though. Whenever he encountered Harm or Mac, he would step aside, in order not to touch them. He addressed them very formally and kept himself from nasty comments, save an occasionally sneer, like when Mac complained about the suddenly set in cold. The next mail she got was a summary of the average temperatures in Australia at the end of December. She had deleted it right away. Still his brooding mood hung over the office as a dark cloud and both Harm and Mac were fully aware he was keeping a close eye on them and that he was biding his time. The moment there would be the smallest sign of anything beyond collegiality or friendship, he was sure to strike.
It hadn't kept them from spending a lot of time together. Next to their weekly runs, they had reinstated Friday's movie nights and an occasionally 'working dinner'. One evening they had visited Lena and Lennard and another they had been driving around through one of the residential neighbourhoods, to admire the Christmas decorations. And then there was the pageant.

Mac smiled when she laid out cutlery. In order to relieve Harriet a bit – after all, she had provided for the Thanksgiving dinner as well – it was decided that Christmas dinner would be a bit of a potluck. Harm, albeit a vegetarian himself, knew very well how to prepare a nice piece of meat and had brought a glazed ham, which was now heating in the oven, together with the potatoes gratin, which she herself had made. With a bit of help from Harm, she had to admit. Tiner had contributed cranberry sauce and the Admiral produced three larges jars of homemade applesauce. Made by a friend's wife, he had laughed. Other colleagues had brought soup and dessert and to their surprise Ethan Baker had come in with a large cardboard box, filled with beautifully folded napkins. He had earned a well-deserved round of applause.
Harriet came out of the kitchen to check on the progress. She smiled, when she saw the beautiful table.
"Dinner is almost ready,' she said. "I have to say, it helps a lot to only have to make the mashed potatoes and cook some vegetables. They even came ready for the pot."
"Anything I can do?" Mac asked.
"Nope," was the gleeful answer. "All is taken care of. Maybe you can round up the herd in say … ten minutes?"
Mac nodded.
"Will do that."
Now Harriet looked a bit secretive. She pulled Mac a bit aside, so they could look through the arch into the living. She pointed up to the ceiling where in a corner a small bunch of green twigs with white berries was hanging.
"And don't forget to make good use of that."
Mac chuckled.
"Will do that, too."

True to her word, ten minutes later she started to shepherd the guests to the waiting table, making sure she and Harm were the last to leave the living. Standing in the corner she called him towards her. With a surprised look on his face he did as she bade. But then he was surprised with two hand on his shoulders and two lips firmly on his mouth. Mac laughed as his amazement.
"Mistletoe," she pointed to the ceiling and still chuckling she headed for the table, leaving it to Harm to follow her. With he did with a thoughtful expression on his face.
Dinner was amiable and tasteful and afterwards there was coffee with chocolates. Harriet asked about the pageant and Mac was happy to share. Especially the way she had managed to restore the order during dress rehearsal evoked a bout of laughter.
Next it was time to unwrap the presents. People had put a lot of effort in finding the right gift and Mac loved her several pots of bulbs, promising nice paperwhite daffodils, little tulips and fragrant hyacinths in a few weeks. Harm was happy with an apron with matching oven mittens and potholders and both were happy the gifts they had brought were received well.
Since there was some time left before they had to head out for the service, people spread out over the living, hall and dining room once more to have a chat. Harm looked around for his CO and when he found Chegwidden, asked him for a word in the study, There was something he wanted to discuss.

During service they sat next to each other in the last pew and it didn't take long before Harm took Mac's hand in his. She looked up at him with a soft look in her eyes, the light of the candles mirroring in them. He smiled back and his thumb caressed the back of her hand. Then he redirected his attention to the singing of the first hymn.
During the sermon her head was on his shoulder. Chegwidden saw it with a smile, thinking back to the conversation he had had with Harm only an hour earlier. He trusted his subordinate to share that conversation with her, at the first opportunity.

When the service was over, they walked out. It had started to snow, light feathery flakes. Harm looked at Mac.
"I'm going to visit the Wall now. Do you want to come with me and I'll bring you home later, or shall I ask someone else to bring you home?"
"I'll come with you." She knew he would want a bit of private time with his dad and was happy to wait in the car, but she wanted to spend as much time with him as possible.
They drove in almost silence, just happy to be together and in Harm's case, ruminating the conversation he had had with his CO. When they reached the Wall, Harm found a parking spot. He looked at Mac and she nodded at him.
"Go. I'm fine."
"I won't be long."
"Take all the time you need," Mac told him. She knew how important this annual visit was to him. Not that he didn't visit the Wall during the year, but Christmas Eve was the moment his dad had gone missing. Harm left the car, closed the door and walked quietly towards the memorial. Mac also emerged and followed him at a distance. He halted in front of the memorial and his eyes searched for his father's name. He slowly traced it with one finger. She saw his lips move. After ten minutes he turned around and started to walk back to the car. When he saw her, there was a slight hesitation in his steps, then he walked towards her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Together they walked to the car. He opened the door for her, but when she wanted to step in he held her back for a moment and pressed a soft kiss on her hand. Then he walked around the car and took the driver's seat once more.
During the drive back he was silent, but Mac didn't mind. When they reached her place he walked her upstairs and took her key to open the door for her. She smiled over his old-fashioned courtesy. Before walking in, she turned and placed her hands against his chest.
"See you tomorrow."
He reacted by bending his head and kissing her lightly.
"Yes, see you tomorrow."
He turned and walked away, turning once more in the doorway of the elevator and waving at her. She waved back and then headed for the window to watch him as he drove off. Then she went to the kitchen to make herself some hot milk before going to bed. She would see him the next day, first for the pageant and then to celebrate Christmas together. She couldn't wait.