FOUR – Feelings are like Herbs

Shirayuki couldn't help but feel incredibly stupid. She hadn't tried to at least cover up her bloated face. But she had already revealed it to the young herb prodigy before her. It was known that the young boy didn't exactly emit many feelings at all. But having him look at her so intensely, she knew that those wide eyes were full of shock and worry.

"N-nothing, Ryu," Shirayuki cooed softly as she escaped to her desk. She avoided contact, turning her back to the boy as she sifted checked her assignment for the day. But even though she couldn't she, she felt his blue eyes burn on her.

"Shirayuki, you never look like this," Ryu began calmly. He was always gentle, no matter what the circumstance was. He was especially gentle because he noticed that her green eyes had a different shine to them. "Have you been crying?"

"Ryu, she's been through a lot since the ceremony," Obi took over. He knew that she was going to cry once more and couldn't dare risk trying to explain. The ceremony was officially a haunting memory, and not even Obi could take it if she tried to tell Ryu. "She got little sleep last night." Ryu stared at Obi, finally realizing what had happened.

He doesn't understand love exactly, but he knew that the thing between Shirayuki and the Prince wasn't nothing. Ryu always noticed the huge smile she had when Zen had come around. He always noticed how much time they spent together, with the little free time they had. Even the day he saw her crying over his medical history gave Ryu a good hint about the 'thing' between them.

But Ryu was at the ceremony, too.

"Shirayuki, if you mind," Ryu began, Obi feeling a little nervous as to what he is about to ask. Shirayuki glanced behind, but didn't reveal her face to the young boy. "What is love?"

"Love?" Shirayuki repeated softly. She turned her spinning chair sideways, enough to see the two males in her peripheral vision. She didn't know how to tell the young boy because love has never been explained to her. She always felt it. "Love is a feeling that you get when… you're super worried about someone when they're sad or just not feeling okay."

"Would that mean I loved you that day when I saw you crying?" Ryu asked, his tone more pleading for analytical purposes than actual emotional impact. Shirayuki giggled softly.

"Yeah, a little bit," Shirayuki began. She left her seat and sat down beside the paper that Ryu was writing on. "It's a different kind of love, but nonetheless that is what it is. You cared for me enough to get worried and get the Prince to come and make me feel better. That's your own special love for me, in a sense."

"I see…" Ryu began, tapping the end of his pen against his bottom lip. This idea of feelings was still uncharted territory for the young boy, but he understands it much better than a minute ago. "So did your love disappear at the ceremony?"

Shirayuki's heart stopped. Her eyes suddenly widened as she studied the floor. Her hands began shaking a bit, forcing her to grab her knees tightly. The urge to cry again was surreal. And of all things, she didn't want to cry in front of Ryu ever again.

"I'm sorry, I'll stop—" Ryu began, but Shirayuki interrupted quickly.

"No no, it's okay," she spoke softly, her voice with a touch of brokenness. She stood up again to go and check the drawer of herbs. She checked one and found an herb, a nasty dark green with its fragrance lost from its previously saccharine scent. "Feelings are like herbs, in a way."

"Mm?" Ryu asked, pondering her analogy.

"Feelings are like seeds, they begin very small," Shirayuki began kindly as she cut the dead herb open at the stem to reveal the small seeds. "But they'll already be sprouted in you. Now, depending how you're grown, it'll either grow perfectly or die out. But, if they're handled carefully with love, they will grow into something amazing and it'll be amazing to see what they've become. But, if you stop taking care of them all of a sudden…" Shirayuki's voice darkens, having her hold up the herb to Ryu. "They begin to die."

"But herbs take a good two to four weeks to die," Ryu said as he held his chin.

"These feelings are much more special than that," Shirayuki said with a sigh. She handed Ryu the dead herb as she got up from the floor and dusted the skirt of her dress. She patted her chest very quickly and gently before revealing a soft smile. "They put up a long, strong fight before they die."

Ryu allowed Shirayuki to attend to her work, remaining silent for a moment. He didn't want to dig in more to her feelings. After all, her feelings were hurt and she wasn't feeling well because of them. But he did piece everything together to realize something so simple: the Prince had stop watering her plants.

His new herb was his fiancé.

Shirayuki had spent the day struggling to work efficiently. She was doing everything right, but not as fast as she is capable of. Even with Obi helping her, she had to work through her breaks because she simply wasn't into it.

"Miss," Obi began softly as he read the list on her clipboard. "We're finished now." The sun was already setting and dinner was to be served in just a few minutes. Shirayuki sighed in her chair, frustration manifesting her. She didn't want to be so bothered by this, but she couldn't help it.

Zen, the love of her life, was marrying another woman, and there is absolutely nothing that Shirayuki can do about it.

"I'm so sorry, Obi," Shirayuki said with a shaky voice. "We would've been done so much faster if I didn't feel the way I do right now. Especially because you helped me—you didn't have to and you were here longer because of me." Obi was quick and gave Shirayuki a pat on the head. He knew he wasn't supposed to touch her, but considering her state, she needed a gentle motion like this.

"Miss, I will do anything for you," Obi said quietly. He felt her gentle red hair under his rough fingers, smiling at the contrast and her soft hair. "I don't care if we took longer than usual, you can take whatever pace you want and I'll join it."

"Thanks, Obi." She raised her hand and placed it on his, both hands now resting on her head. She flashed him her usually content smile, the one with the gleaming expression and closed eyes. Obi couldn't help but feel blood surge up into his cheeks from it. Everything that Shirayuki does gets him choked up, especially when she appreciates him. It seemed cruel and unusual, but Obi craved for that appreciation just to see that smile and her tone of voice when she's thankful.

"U-um, Miss," Obi quickly retrieved his hand from her head, having her hand fall and lightly hit the top of hers. "Oh, Miss, I'm so sorry! I didn't think—"

"I'm alright, you know," Shirayuki said with a giggle. She put her hand down to her lap and laughed at Obi a bit. "I didn't die, did I?"

"But you could've," Obi groaned playfully, having Shirayuki giggle some more. He then offered his arm to Shirayuki, his arm bent at the elbow for her to cling onto his forearm. She stood up and took it softly, with the other hand touching his forearm at the side. She tried her best not to put any weight on him, but Obi found her touch as light as a feather. "Let's get some dinner, Miss."

As the two walked down the corridor with happy chats, Shirayuki couldn't help but worry. She was scared that the Prince would just suddenly show up in the hall and meet eyes with her. Though she wasn't exactly mad at him, she had little confidence in being able to see him. Obi felt her flinch on his arm, sensing her worrisome state.

"You two, to the ballroom!" A guard had suddenly come, his voice urgent and commanding. "The Prince wants to have a dinner with the entirety of his castle to celebrate his fiancé and their new marriage."

Shirayuki gulped strongly, diverting her emerald eyes down to the floor as her heart picked up speed. Obi nodded and took in the order, painfully walking Shirayuki over to the ballroom. As he did, he couldn't help but feel torn about it. As much as he wanted to just run away with her for the night to avoid it, he couldn't. So, he was going to try his very best to make sure she doesn't cry or freak out.

"Hey, don't worry so much, okay?" Obi whispered to her as he walked down the painful path to the ballroom. "I'm going to be right next to you the entire time. There's a big chance he's going to be eating up at the balcony, so he's not going to be so close." The two stopped in front of the ballroom, allowing Obi to stand right in front of her and take her hands into his. They were shaking, having Obi bite his tongue from the rapid vibrations. "Miss, please relax."

"I c-cant…" Shirayuki choked, true nerves building all over her body. She wanted to stop, but she had no control. She was nervous, with her stomach churning, hands shaking, and her face feeling as pale as ever. That's when Obi held her hands harder, stopping the shaking immediately.

"Just keep your eyes on me, Miss," Obi soothed. "You don't have to look at him or anybody else. Just keep them on me, and if you feel like you're going to vomit, grab my arm and let me know. I will escort you out."

Shirayuki took this in and nodded, giving Obi a nervous smile. She felt much more safe and reassured now that Obi is choosing to be around so much. It felt nice to have someone to go back to all the time. Especially when she doesn't know if she can handle being in the same room at the Prince she loves so much.

With that, Obi let go of her hands and offered her his arm. She took it with ease, allowing the kind male to escort her into the ballroom. She wanted nothing more than to run far away from it, but she was going to have to face the Prince anyways. Even if indirectly, she knew he'd place his azure eyes on her.

And if he does confront her, Shirayuki knows that Obi was still with her. After all, his scarf was still wrapped around her neck.