FOURTEEN – What Do I Do?
"Little Miss," Obi called out to the red-haired girl. "Are you okay?"
What a question, Shirayuki thought, unsure as to how to respond. It was now the morning after Zen had come to her bedroom. She held vials of substances in her hands, but she could not have been more distracted. His lips upon hers, the intoxication that was their shared kiss. She hadn't even slept, she couldn't even get a wink. Her heart was still pounding, praying to every mythical thing that she would stop shaking.
"Y-yeah, I'm fine." This couldn't have been less true.
For the proceeding 6 days after Zen had strode over to her bedroom at night, he decided to do it again every night after. Every time, he would simply knock and Shirayuki would open, pretending to not have a clue as to whom it was. And from there, Zen would shut the door behind him, clink the lock closed and instantly press himself against her.
Shirayuki hated herself for allowing this to happen. She wanted nothing more than to push the Prince away and tell him how much of a monster he was. But she couldn't, for her feelings for the boy was too much to allow common sense to pour in. It had only been a month, but Shirayuki's love felt everlasting. Time was too slow, and these nights only increased her feelings for the boy as they continued their unconsented, unpermitted love every night at the lick of midnight.
There was one night, though, the 7th night that caught Shirayuki very much off-guard.
Flashback to the 7th night, where Shirayuki had waited at the center of her bedroom. She was still in her work clothes, her hands clenched loosely as her emerald eyes studied the wooden door. She would count the seconds, then added the minutes. There was only so much impatience and anticipation the girl could own.
Then, to her bittersweet favor, the knock finally came.
She swiftly rushes to the door, opens it, and allows the boy with white wisps of hair to enter. Zen always had an eager smile playing at his face every time he came to her room. With the name navy blue shirt, gray pants, and his sword hitting his bum with every step he took. The floor always creaked from his entrance, having Shirayuki feel as though it was a sign of something rotten.
"Hi beautiful," Zen hummed, walking towards the girl slowly as she slowly walked back. This always happened every time, and Zen wondered why. Shirayuki owned this strange bit of fear as if she didn't expect what was to happen. But Zen had given her props, for his intention was slightly different from the one for the previous nights.
His calloused hands firmly grab at Shirayuki's waist, having her gasp and back her upper bum against her night stand. As usual, Zen would only get closer to the girl, having their noses just a few inches apart. Shirayuki felt his breath tickle her supple lips, her cheeks flushing a bright red from the intensity that was Zen's azure orbs. He gave them a few moments, and then proceeded to place his lips on hers.
As usual, Zen's tongue grazed along Shirayuki's lips, going from left to right on both as he focused his attention on her bottom lip. He nibbled and tugged at it, as though he were eating a juicy fruit. Shirayuki, as he did this, was at war with herself. Her heart forced her to kiss in return but her mind was screaming all sorts of nasty terms to be rid of this situation.
Zen slid his hands up to her sides, tickling them gently. His fingertips rubbed up to the side of both breasts, having her jump a bit as he continued his mission upward. His fingers soon found themselves to her collarbones, merely brushing them with his thumbs before finding their way to her neck. With his main 4 fingers, he weaved them into the back of Shirayuki's red hair. As for the thumbs, the tips of them held her jawbone up as Zen sucked her lips happily.
He loved this—he was indulging entirely in this. Shirayuki's sweet lips were his addiction and he wanted nothing but more of it. The sweetness that her lips were, they tasted of a peach desert she ate before her return to the bedroom. The sugars of it from the probable syrup intoxicated Zen, having him force his tongue into her mouth for more of the saccharine goodness.
But Zen then detached after a few moments of sliding his tongue along hers. A string of swapped saliva connected the two for a few moments before they began panting for air. They locked eyes, those lapis eyes shining from the moonlight that poured into the room and set the scene. But Zen was quick to break the gaze to leer at the green scarf on her nightstand, the one that Zen has found an undying hatred for.
"You love me, right?" Zen whispered, looking back at the fragile emerald eyes before him. Shirayuki hated this question, for she knew where her heart resided about it. She gently nodded, tears welling up in her eye sockets. It was painful answering such a question, especially with her mind wanting to explode in pure denial. But Shirayuki was too much of a good entity; she'd never lie to a Prince. Especially to the man she loves. "If you love me, you must stop wearing that scarf."
"Wh-what? Obi's scarf?" Shirayuki whispered for clarification, raising her eyebrows in confusion. Zen looked away shamefully, slightly gritting his teeth as he did. He didn't want to show his jealousy, but Shirayuki could tell that he was quite bothered about it.
"You're mine, Shirayuki." With those words, Zen was quick to lower his head and latch his lips on her neck. Shirayuki slammed her hands down at the edge of her nightstand, gripping it tightly as she felt Zen's teeth graze her sensitive skin. She felt his cool tongue lick the tampered spot, constantly changing between his teeth and the tongue.
As Shirayuki was holding onto the nightstand, she felt her hands somewhat slide more on it from some sort of desperation. She then felt Obi's scarf, tickling at the palm of her left hand. She brought it over to the edge of the table where she hung on again, feeling the wool safe under her hands. It made her scream mentally for her body guard, wishing he were here to save her from this lustful hell that she put herself into.
"You're mine and only mine, do you understand that?" Zen spoke with aggression again, his words coming out as a growl rather than just a forceful tone. Shirayuki's mind keeps reminding her that Zen supposedly proposed he wanted to 'talk.' But all he did was say 'I love you,' force an 'I love you too' out of her, and then proceed to steal kisses from her.
His teeth became more painful, having Shirayuki dig her nails into the polished wood, desperate to make it stop. But her heart yearned for this, all of it. Zen's kisses, this attention, this love that he supposedly held for her. It was everything to her broken heart, having it anticipate getting a needle and a thread to heal. And, at the time, it felt that only Zen could provide that.
"I…I…" Shirayuki was choked up, saliva streaming from one end of her lips. Her head was thrown back, feeling the sensation of Zen's lip send static all over her body from her neck. She hated how much she loved the way he made her feel. She hated how easy she resigned just because she loved this boy so. She hated how much people praise her for being so strong but gets so weak just because of the royal blood before her.
"You are mine and nobody else's," Zen hummed on her neck, giving it one kiss before standing up straight to meet the girl's eyes. He held a stern look, catching Shirayuki by a bit of surprise before he turned around and exited the room. That's when Shirayuki let out a few more breaths before falling to the floor, completely breathless.
Obi's scarf stayed in her hands as she finally let the tears stream down her cheeks. She felt ashamed of herself. Shame and disgust. It hurt her like poison, except she would have rather much died. She gripped onto the scarf tightly, whispering pleads and wishes for Obi to come at the right time and hold her close. If only she had asked the boy to move in to her room with him.
Shirayuki then rose, her legs the equivalent of jelly as she walked over to her mirror. The green scarf still hung in her left hand as she trotted to that mirror. Using the moonlight, she twists her head a bit to see the spot that Zen gave attention to. That's when her heart stopped, tears going down more steadily and urgently as she stared at herself.
On her neck, right in the middle of the distance between her jawline and collarbone, was a new red-indigo bruise. She looked up at her ceiling, her lips parting a bit as she let the tears steam down. She grabbed her knees with her hands, the scarf still playing at her left hand. With the little energy she had, she opened her mouth and let out a tiny, gentle whisper.
"What do I do?" Shirayuki asked woefully.