AUTHOR'S NOTE

Wow, I had no idea this story was missed so much! Thank you so, so much for all your support! I promise I am going to finish this story (and relatively soon, too!) so likely I'll be posting chapter updates twice a week until it's done - that being said, don't expect all of them *quite* as soon as I managed to get this one up. It is a lot easier for me to write over the weekend than it is during the week, unfortunately.

CHAPTER 20
Head Over Heels!

"Tell me something I don't know about you."

Despite the guilt Ash felt both about not outright telling Todd about him and Clemont, and about him even finding out in the first place, he had decided to take his advice. Clemont had, after all, expressed an interest in going on a real date. Though they were both reluctant to go on a truly romantic outing in the middle of Lumiose City, a busy street cafe seemed like a safe choice for a casual conversation, and now they were sitting across from each other, a plate of macarons in between them.

"I don't think these macarons can hold a candle to Serena's," Clemont replied, tapping the half-eaten one in front of him.

"I said something I don't know," Ash said with a laugh. Clemont was right about the macarons, of course, but it hadn't stopped either of them from eating them.

"But, Ash," Clemont protested. "We're past the 'getting to know you' stage. I doubt there's anything I could tell you that you haven't at least suspected."

"As friends," Ash replied, looking pleased with himself. "As...more," he said, with a quick look around, "I bet I still have loads left to learn about you."

"There may be an element of truth to that," Clemont mused. "After all, you seem unaware that I don't particularly enjoy talking about myself."

"You don't?" Ash asked him, looking surprised. "In that case, I can do all the talking for you!" His offer was genuine, though not well thought out, and Clemont could not stop himself from chuckling at the statement.

"Fine, then," he responded, pushing his glasses up a little higher. "You can tell me about myself anytime you want. But what about you, then? Surely you haven't been keeping any aspects of your personality hidden from me. You seem to be quite the open book!"

"Uh, yeah..." Ash said uncomfortably, wondering what had prompted Clemont to use that choice of words. It was mostly true; he tended to say what he was thinking and be transparent in his intentions, but there was one thing he had previously not wanted Clemont to find out about. "Actually," he said, deciding there was no reason to not come clean about it. "Speaking of books, I, uh...well...I like reading."

His eyes darted towards the table and then back up at Clemont again, a nervous but hopeful expression on his face. For a moment, Clemont seemed to be in shock, but then he laughed lightly, and it took Ash a moment to realize he was laughing with him, not at him. "Oh, Ash," he said fondly. "I knew that already."

"You did?" Ash asked incredulously. "How?"

"We share a room, remember? You really should stop sleeping with those books under your covers. You would be able to keep them in better condition if you set them on the nightstand before going to bed. Also," he said pointedly, deciding to ignore his boyfriend's mildly horrified expression. "Half of those books are from my bookshelf. I don't mind you borrowing them, but I would appreciate it if you put them back in the same place you took them from. I've spent quite a while categorizing them."

It was embarrassing, really, that Ash had not realized this before. Of course Clemont would have known about it. He was too smart to have not seen the empty spaces on his shelf or the books that had sometimes fallen on the floor during the night.

"Well, now you have to tell me something about you," Ash countered with a grin. Fair was fair, after all.

Clemont tilted his head, his eyes pointed skyward as he considered what he might tell Ash. He was not in the habit of keeping secrets, though he was surprisingly talented at it - and Ash was far from shy. Whenever he had wanted to know something in the past, he simply asked directly. This open-ended question had him considering things he had not even thought of in years, and with a start, he remembered that Ash had not known him when he was younger, and there would be a whole trove of stories and facts to share from that time.

"Were you aware that at one point, I hadn't considered the possibility of being a scientist?" Ash's eyes widened in shock, and he shook his head, staring at Clemont in disbelief. "It's true," he explained. "My interests varied between engineering and programming, and for a time, I had considered making one of those my career instead."

"Uh..." Ash was confused. Those all sounded like the same thing to him. "What's the difference?" He looked apologetic, but the question didn't bother Clemont at all, and he leaned in, eager to explain.

"Programming is all about writing code," he said. "It's used to provide a set of instructions to computers in their own language. Programmers are very proud of their work," he explained, his face falling slightly. "I could never feel right if I thought of myself as a programmer. Most of my work is nowhere near good enough to be proud of." Before Ash could do more than open his mouth to retort, Clemont had already rushed onto his explanation of engineering. "Engineering is a broader field than programming - and there are many different types. You can think of engineers as problem-solvers. Unfortunately, to this day I have no idea what exact field I would study." He adjusted his glasses, sounding embarrassed. "The problems I wanted to solve spanned too many different areas. I couldn't settle into engineering without making a decision."

Ash, who was all too familiar with Clemont's indecision when it came to matters involving his future, nodded thoughtfully. "So you decided science was a safer choice?"

"Science is the most logical name for the combination of all my interests. Engineering is considered an applied science, after all, and programming is a necessary part of much engineering work." This was something Ash had not realized, and his face lit up with a grin.

"You're so amazing, Clemont," he said in a dreamy voice, and Clemont blushed the same shade of pink as the macaron he was holding.

"I-it's nothing, really..." he stammered, looking down at the table. Many people had varied interests; he was simply lucky that all his fell into the same category.

"I wish I knew more about science," Ash said wistfully, gazing at him. "I know lots about science fiction now, but it isn't real. It isn't like the stuff you do." Despite the books he was so fond of often being based on probably scientific theories, they covered technology that would not be available for some time or situations that wouldn't accurately reflect what would happen should it exist in the real world.

"I could teach you," Clemont offered tentatively, eyeing Ash with some disbelief. He had not been aware of Ash's interest in the scientific applications he worked in, and he doubted this was a genuine interest - it was more likely Ash was interested in what he was working on simply because he wanted to understand it and converse about it with him, more than that he would be interested in pursuing it on his own. "I would recommend you start with programming, because you can stay in a confined virtual environment with minimal impact to the existing infrastructure. Once you understand some of the basics, I can get you set up with a breadboard -"

"I don't know if I'm ready for that." Ash laughed, cutting him off mid-sentence. He didn't even know what a breadboard was, if it wasn't a tool used in the kitchen. "Maybe I could just watch you work more often?"

Clemont thought he recognized the expression on Ash's face, and smiled while blushing. He was still not used to the attention Ash gave him now, but he was enjoying every second of it - at least, the seconds he wasn't embarrassed by it. "Okay," he said. "But I'm not offended if you want to multitask while doing so. It might be nice for you to read those books in the light of day for once," he hinted.

Ash ended up being grateful for the suggestion. Despite wanting to know more about what his boyfriend spent so much time on, and finding Clemont's inventions truly fascinating, the process to create them confused him more than he cared to admit. He did not understand where he got the ideas from, or how he turned a pile of parts into a working machine. And so he turned to his books, reading science fiction while real science happened right there in the same room, wondering if Clemont's next invention would be the one to launch them towards the future.

They had taken to spending many days together like that, enough that Clemont chose a single invention that he only dedicated his time to when Ash was around, so that he could follow along with its progress. Ash was sure it had been difficult for him to hold off on working on it at other times, especially as he frequently got inspired at inconvenient moments such as the middle of the night or when he was otherwise occupied, but as far as he could tell Clemont had done no more than scribble down notes when he was not present. Now, he was finally getting near to completing it, and Ash was determined to not miss the moment he finally turned it on to success despite Clemont's recent attempts to usher him to safety.

"Are you sure you want to stay here?" Clemont fretted, tightening a bolt on his invention and immediately loosening it as it began to shake. "I don't trust this one isn't going to explode."

"Clemont." Ash cast his book to the side, folding over the corner to mark his place before doing so and pretending he didn't see the way his boyfriend cringed at the new crease in the paper. "I've been caught in plenty of explosions before. Stop worrying."

"Yes, but those were accidents," Clemont explained, frowning slightly as he turned the machine over on its side to examine another part of it.

"And this one would be on purpose?" Ash asked, somewhat amused.

"Well, no, but I actually expect this one to explode. I wish you would at least wear protective clothing." He gestured down at the jumpsuit he wore so rarely now, wondering if he should simply get a spare one out of the closet for him. After all, they were close enough to the same size he was sure it would fit.

"No," Ash said firmly, as if reading his mind. "Clemont..." Somewhere between thinking about how much he appreciated being worried over and how much he liked spending time with him, another set of words had popped into his mind, words that he was not sure were a good idea to say or that could even be responded to.

"I know," he responded glumly. "You hate the jumpsuit."

"That wasn't what I was going to say," Ash said in surprise. "I..." he paused. He didn't dislike the jumpsuit. Especially when Clemont wore it. "You look good no matter what you wear." That, at least, was a completely true statement in his eyes, and he openly admired Clemont, wishing he would let him come closer for a hug and a kiss. But he knew it was out of the question. It had been a struggle to get him to let him in the room at all today, simply because of the danger this invention seemingly posed.

Clemont chose not to respond, instead frowning as he picked up his screwdriver again. He did not believe Ash for even a second; he never did when he said things of that nature, and he found his mind wandering again to what Ash even saw in him in the first place. It was not so much that he could not see and appreciate good qualities in himself, but more that he could not fathom how Ash found those particular qualities attractive. He wished he could ask him, but he dared not do so for fear of bringing his faults to light.

Had he not been so preoccupied, he almost certainly would have noticed his invention shudder as he worked on it; the motor running with an aggressive humming noise as he glanced down at the tools in front of him, deciding if a small wrench or a pair of pliers would be more appropriate. Unfortunately, as it was, he did not notice something was amiss until smoke began to sputter out of the machine, followed by a high-pitched whistling noise.

It was instinctive that when the invention exploded, he would cover Ash's body with his own. With a force he did not know he possessed, he knocked both of them out of the path of the invention just in time to hear a loud bang followed by the sound of bits of metal hitting the walls and door. Clemont turned to survey the aftermath, not daring to breathe until the smoke cleared the room. Once it had, he filled his lungs with the only slightly tainted air, and turned his attention to Ash.

"I told you," Clemont scolded. "You could have been seriously hurt!"

"I wasn't even within range," Ash told him, the hint of a smile playing on his lips. It was so typical of Clemont to be worried about him, when he hadn't been the one in danger. "Look - we're both fine." He was right, Clemont realized - he had felt no more than the lightest of forces on his back, and he was not even having the asthma attack he had been expecting.

"Well," he said, somewhat embarrassed. "I'm glad you're okay." He shifted his weight, attempting to push himself off the ground, but with some surprise noticed that he was unable to move his legs properly. He looked down at Ash in shock as he realized that he had hooked his legs around Clemont, impeding his movements.

"Where're you going?" Ash asked with a grin, tightening his grip around his boyfriend.

"T-t-to fix the i-i-invention..." Clemont stuttered, feeling suddenly flustered. "A-Ash..."

"You're not going anywhere," he whispered, and for the first time Clemont truly took note of where they were laying and the intimate position they had found themselves in. His eyes grew wide as he realized what Ash was insinuating, and despite his hesitation he let Ash pull him down into a passionate kiss.

Even though Clemont had returned the kiss, Ash could feel an unusual resistance in it, and sat up slightly. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah..." He cast his eyes down and to the left, keeping them locked firmly on the floor. His cheeks were heating up with embarrassment, and he could not bring himself to meet Ash's gaze.

"So what is it, then?" Ash asked, not picking up on the way Clemont's voice had shaken. He took him firmly by the shoulders, flipping them over and grinning down at his boyfriend. "You prefer this position?"

He wanted to protest, to say that as much as he wanted this to happen someday, that now wasn't the right time - but his objections melted away as Ash lowered his head and softly whispered, "I've never felt this way about anyone before." Now it was Clemont's turn to hold him closer, pulling him into a kiss against his better judgement. He could still feel the heat that had sprung up a moment ago, but it was spreading to different places now, and was caused by something much more powerful than embarrassment.

"R-really...?" Clemont asked, cursing himself inwardly as he realized how desperate his voice sounded. He couldn't help it. He had wanted to be with Ash for so long; had wanted Ash to return the love he had for him.

"Really," he affirmed, resting his forehead on Clemont's and looking deeply into his eyes.

"Wow," This was the closest thing he had heard him say to the words he had so longed to hear, and he was filled with hope that maybe someday, Ash would truly love him.

"Yeah," Ash said, grinning. "Wow." He pressed himself down on Clemont firmly, eliciting a gasp from him, and pressed his lips to him once more. "Clemont," he whispered as they broke apart. "You have no idea how badly I want you."

It was the word want, so starkly different from the word Clemont had been hoping for, that finally gave him the strength to push Ash away just enough to sit up. He could accept that Ash did not love him yet. After all, he had a several-year headstart on their romance. But he could not accept being together just for the sake of physical closeness; he wanted Ash, but because he loved him...not just...because.

"I can't do this right now," he said softly, not daring to look Ash in the eye. He heard the shifting of fabric and felt Ash move away from him, and willed himself not to cry. He was not sure he could forgive himself if those words had destroyed his only chance to be with Ash. But to his surprise, he suddenly felt Ash's hand in his, and looked up.

"That's okay," he replied, his expression a mix of concern and understanding. "I can wait."

Bonnie sat on the edge of her bed, swinging her feet back and forth as she stared idly at the wall. Something did not feel right to her, and it had not felt right for a while. She was accustomed to people bowing to her will; driven to a certain pattern of behavior by her schemes. This was probably the reason she had not made very many friends - but it didn't bother her, as long as her family still loved her.

She had noticed a change in the effectiveness of her most current scheme a couple weeks ago. She used to enjoy subtly hinting to Clemont that she would reveal his biggest secret to Ash, only to kick back and watch the show as he slowly gathered the courage to try and say something himself. At the same time, while she had nothing quite so concrete to blackmail Ash with, he had seemingly become a willing - though ignorant - participant in her plans, always saying and doing things that pushed Clemont right over the brink. Now, neither of them seemed to be responding to her at all, and it worried her greatly.

She was losing her edge. That had to be it. Clemont no longer believed she would follow through with her threat, and Ash had become wise to her ways. Certainly, their behavior did nothing to persuade her otherwise. She gritted her teeth, resisting the urge to punch her pillow. She was doing this for Clemont's own good. If he couldn't tell Ash how he felt, how was he supposed to get through any other challenges that came up in his life? She wouldn't be there for him forever, though privately she acknowledged that was something she only came to realize recently.

It wasn't just Ash and Clemont who were behaving weirdly, though she found it a lot harder to ignore them since they lived in the same place. Todd had also been acting strange lately. The last time she had seen him, he was carrying around a cute Pokemon - a Whimsicott! - and had actually asked her for advice on how to care for it. Asking for advice wasn't all that unusual, especially since he knew of her fondness for Pokemon and her goal to be a trainer - but the way he had deflected all of her questions was. She wondered if Todd's behavior was connected to Ash and Clemont in any way. Had they become aware of her scheming, and let him in on it? But even if that was the case, Todd was already fully aware and in support of it. He wanted to see them get together as much as she did.

Todd was someone she had not expected to have more than a passing acquaintance with, and yet he had become her best friend over the past several months. She was even closer with him these days than she was with Serena - after all, Serena was spending most of her time with Calem these days. Todd, on the other hand, appeared to be unhindered by a relationship, and as a result had plenty of time to spend with Bonnie.

If she was doubting her ability to bribe and scheme, the ability to be herself, then a friend was probably what she needed. She lifted herself off the bed, skipping down the hallway to place her phone call. She did not even need to look around the house for her privacy first - she was alone, just as she always seemed to be these days. Serena was out with Calem, and Ash and Clemont were both working their respective jobs.

"Todd," she said in relief when he answered the phone on the first ring, smiling widely into the screen. "I missed you." She surprised even herself with the burst of honesty, her eyes growing slightly wider as she checked for his reaction, but all he did was return her smile.

"Bonnie! You got lucky. I was just about to head out. What's up?"

"Something's wrong," she told him in a low voice. She supposed it would have been polite to ask if now was a good time, and maybe find out where he was going, but she surmised if he didn't have enough time for her he wouldn't have answered the phone in the first place.

"With you?" he asked, a concerned look coming over his face. "Or with Dedenne?" She had a feeling if she said yes, he would have come running right over, and the thought made her feel better instantly.

"No." She stressed the word, deciding to be honest. Unlike other people, she did not need to manipulate Todd - he always made her a priority without her having to trick him into it. "I mean, maybe. I don't know." It was not often she was this unsure of herself, and she made a face. "Something just seems off, that's all."

"We all feel that way sometimes," Todd told her sympathetically. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Maybe," Bonnie said again, wondering how to phrase her next question. "Tell me something. Do you think I'm fighting a losing battle?"

"A losing battle with...what?" Todd asked, sounding amused. "If this is about your socks mysteriously disappearing in the dryer again..."

"No, silly!" Bonnie said, with a little stamp of her foot. She had mentioned her missing socks once - just once! - and Todd had still not stopped teasing her about it. "About Ash and Clemont. Clemont doesn't even seem to care if I tell Ash how he feels! I wouldn't actually do it," she admitted quietly. "At least, I didn't think I would have to. But now I'm not sure. What if he doesn't like him anymore?"

It was a struggle for Todd to keep a straight face, and by the way Bonnie's eyes narrowed, he knew he had failed. "I'm sure he still likes him," he said in a choked voice, but she had not bought the act.

"You know something!" she yelled into the phone in excitement, and Todd winced at the loudness of her voice. "Tell me," she demanded.

Todd stayed silent, wondering what the best course of action was. Ash was his oldest friend, and he could not betray his confidence. Though he was perplexed why he and Clemont had obviously decided to leave Bonnie in the dark about their relationship, he could not blame them for not wanting to deal with the wave of excitement she would certainly be riding when she found out - and the extreme reaction she was likely to have when she realized she had not been told right away. "Tell you what?" he asked finally, deciding playing dumb was his best bet. Bonnie was his friend too, and he could not hang up on her or belittle her feelings either.

"What. You. Know." She punctuated each word, her tone sounding dangerous.

"Really, Bonnie. You should know better than to ask me that. I'm very smart, after all. It would take a lot less time to tell you what I don't know." His hubris was only slightly an act, and he grinned at her as she fumed.

"That wasn't what I meant and you know it!" She stamped her foot on the ground again, and glared at him.

"If you already know so much about what I know, why did you need to ask me about it?" Todd asked in an air of innocence. His goal was to infuriate her so much that she hung up on him, and it seemed to be working.

"Are they already together?" she demanded then, the truth suddenly dawning on her as she put together the pieces from their unusual behavior. "Did my brother tell him without me?"

Todd privately felt that her screech could probably reach Ash or Clemont if they were anywhere in Prism Tower, but he was glad that he did not really have details on what happened, because it meant he could shrug very convincingly. "That sounds like something you should be asking Clemont."

"Oh, I'll ask him alright," Bonnie said menacingly, not even bothering to say goodbye to Todd as she hung up on him. "He isn't going to get away with this."

It only took her a week before she could take action. Six days to formulate her plan, and one to critically watch Ash and Clemont to make sure her assumption was correct. And with the way they were smiling at each other, with Clemont looking more relaxed in Ash's presence than he had in months, there was no way she could be wrong.

"Clemont," she said the next time she saw him talking with Ash in the living room, walking up to him and tugging on his sleeve the same way she did when she was a little kid. "I need you to look at something for me."

"Of course, Bonnie," he said, turning to smile down at her. Clemont was such a good brother, and on some level she was aware that she was not being such a good sister, but she pushed the thought out of her mind.

"I heard something weird over there," she said, pushing her voice up into a nervous whine as she pointed towards a spacious closet Clemont kept some old equipment in. "It was coming from the closet."

"Which closet?" Clemont asked, adjusting his glasses in an attempt to see from his current location, though he could only think of one closet she could be referring to. "Not my equipment closet?"

"Y-yeah," Bonnie said shakily, glad her brother and Ash were often so clueless. "Please go check it out, Clemont, I'm scared!" She had perfected the tremble of her lower lip some time ago, and she looked up at him with a carefully crafted expression.

"Okay," Clemont said agreeably, wondering which of his failed inventions must have started up again. But as he started to step forward he realized Bonnie was still clinging to his sleeve, and he paused for a moment.

"What if it's a monster?" Bonnie asked, casting around her imagination in desperation at how quickly the plan would fail if Ash did not go with him. "You can't fight against a monster by yourself!" Clemont did not believe in monsters, not anymore, but she was sure if there really was one he would not want to face it alone. "Bring Ash with you, he's brave."

Clemont looked over his shoulder at Ash, who was holding in laughter. "Do you feel like going monster-hunting?" he asked, mainly for Bonnie's sake.

"You bet!" Ash said with his signature grin, and he put a hand on Clemont's shoulder. "Lead the way."

Clemont supposed he should have been suspicious immediately. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was aware that Bonnie was old enough to not come running to him at the slightest noise, and knowledgeable enough about their apartment and what was in it to not think it was something as unbelievable as a monster. But the gap in their age was reaching a critical point, where she no longer needed her big brother as much and he no longer had as much time for her, and he was so pleased she had come to him that he did not stop to question it.

His hackles were not even raised in the slightest as Bonnie tiptoed behind them, stopping beside the closet and pointing at it fearfully as he cracked the door open. He did not hear anything, but her voice trembled as she pleaded with them to please go inside and check it out, and so he and Ash opened the door the rest of the way, letting light shine on the interior.

It really was a spacious closet, and he surveyed the inside, taking note of all the failed inventions laying under cloth lining the edges of the walls. Nothing seemed out of place, but then, he had not needed to go in here for quite some time, so at Bonnie's insistence he made his way inside. "You go, too," she said in her best little-girl voice to Ash, who had remained outside, and with a shrug he stepped inside. Both he and Clemont walked towards the back of the closet, staying silent to listen for a moment - but as Clemont turned around to say he did not hear or see anything amiss, he saw the door closing on them, an evil smile on Bonnie's face as the lock clicked in place.

"Bonnie!" Clemont shouted in alarm, pushing past Ash to twist the knob, to no avail. "Let us out!"

"I don't think I can do that, big brother," she said in a deceptively sweet tone of voice, dropping her scared little-girl act. "I warned you what would happen if you ran out of time. I think it's time for the two of you to have a nice, long talk about your feelings."

"We already -" Ash started to yell through the door, but stopped himself as he looked over at Clemont. His eyes had not yet adjusted to the lack of light, so he could not see if he was nodding or shaking his head, but he reached out his hand and Clemont squeezed it tight. "We already talked!" he yelled, taking that as a sign that he was good to continue.

"Oh, really?" Bonnie asked in a skeptical tone of voice. "About what?"

"About us!" Clemont shouted, valuing his escape from the closet more than any reasons he had for not sharing their news with Bonnie. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you earlier, but we've been dating for over a month now...please let us out of here...I don't like small spaces..."

The only thing that met them on the other end of the door was silence, followed by a triumphant "a-ha!" She had been right, after all. But...over a month?! she thought furiously.

"So as you can see," Clemont continued shakily, trying not to think about the walls surrounding him. "There's really no need to keep us in here..."

"No...need", she repeated slowly, and Clemont had a feeling she was staring at the door with her arms crossed. "Well," she said, and Clemont withheld a groan at the tone he recognized in her voice. "Perhaps you can use this opportunity to discuss being honest and not keeping secrets from the people you care about." They heard footsteps as she marched away, and they hammered on the door for a minute before realizing there was no one else around to let them out, and that Bonnie would only come back when she felt their punishment had been served.

It was Ash to break the silence first, blinking his eyes as he tried to adjust to seeing only the small amount of light that was being filtered through the bottom of the door. "I guess we'll be in here for a while," he said in a relaxed manner, hoping that he could make Clemont feel better. He knew that his boyfriend was not fond of small spaces or extreme darkness, both of which were in abundance in the closet they had gotten themselves locked in.

"It's our own fault," Clemont said miserably, trying to get a handle on his anxiety. There was more than one way out of an enclosed space, after all. They could try and pick the lock on the door from this side, or even break down the door. In a worst case scenario, he knew there were vents connecting many areas of the building that they may be able to escape through. "We should have just told her."

"You're right," Ash said regretfully. "You always are. I'm sorry. I should have listened to you." He reached over, and feeling for Clemont, wrapped him in a hug that he returned forcefully, burying his face in his shoulder. "Of course..." Ash said, a sudden idea coming to mind.

"What?" Clemont mumbled, lifting his head briefly.

"We could...you know," he hinted, resting his forehead against Clemont's. "We are alone, after all." He was really just aiming to distract Clemont from any anxiety he might have over being stuck in a space like this, but all the same a sultry note had entered his tone, and his hands began caressing Clemont, who bit back a whine of enthusiasm at his touch.

"That's...not a good idea," Clemont told him in between panting breaths, and he felt Ash smile against his neck.

"Are you sure I can't persuade you?" Ash wheedled, and his hands wound around the hem of Clemont's t-shirt. They had never removed their clothing during their make out sessions before, though Clemont had strongly considered it, and he thought that if Ash continued to hold him in a such a way and breathe sweet words onto him that he would surely give into what he had been longing for. But with a burst of resolution he backed away, trying to keep the pain out of his voice.

"I'm sorry," he said, swallowing hard.

Silence met him; silence wracked with shallow breathing that he could swear seemed almost confused. A deep breath followed by more silence told him that Ash was preparing to find the right words, and he braced himself. This was it. His relationship with his dream guy would be over before it even started.

"If...if you want to take it slow, that's okay," Ash said, and Clemont felt immediately relieved. "But, could you at least tell me why? I mean...is it me?" he asked, and Clemont felt incredulous that he would even have such worries. "Am I...am I not enough?" He always plunged into everything in his life head-on, and while he knew Clemont was different, he still could not understand without a careful explanation.

"You're plenty enough," he said, and he decided that if his relationship were to end here, today, he was not going without at least taking a little of what he wanted first, to not spend the rest of his life wondering what if.

"Then...why?" Ash asked, and he had not felt more insecure than he did at that moment. "Don't you want to...?"

"Of course I do," Clemont snapped back at him with passion he did not know he had. "Do you really think I don't?" There was silence, but he had gained enough night vision at this point to see that Ash was nodding. "Then let me cure you of that notion."

While normally too shy to even think of doing something like this, somehow, in the small and dark space, he felt that he could. Ash could not see his face after all; could not see that his face was practically on fire from just the thought of putting himself into an intimate position. And if he did something wrong, if Ash judged him for anything, he could blame it on the lack of light and surely the lack of oxygen.

Closing the small gap between them, he pressed himself into Ash, guiding him against the wall as his hand came back to cushion his head from the gentle blow. He eased his lips onto his, at long last giving into his feelings. He loved this; the feeling of Ash against him and the feeling of their lips and tongues melding together, but most of all he loved that Ash was kissing him back with the same desperation he had been feeling.

"You don't have to," Ash gasped as they broke apart, worried that he had somehow forced Clemont into this unexpected behavior, but Clemont's hand came up to stroke his cheek gently.

"I know," he said softly. "But I want to. I've wanted this for a long time, actually," he admitted, and he ran his hand idly down Ash's chest, loving the mental image it formed of how exactly he was standing. "There was a time when you were the only thing I could think about," he whispered, his hands beginning to travel lower. "I would look over at you every night and wonder if I would ever get to be with you this way." He dipped a trembling hand the most minute of ways beneath the waistband of Ash's jeans, and was surprised to hear Ash's breath coming out in short, nervous bursts even as he held Clemont tighter, taking the opportunity to explore his body in turn. "Together, we could make my dreams a reality," he said, leaning in and giving Ash another passionate kiss even as he reached down to stroke him through his jeans, and Ash clawed at Clemont's back with a ferocity he did not know he possessed, resisting the urge to take him right here, right now.

"So you see," Clemont said, withdrawing from him slowly and surveying the wild-eyed look of unbridled passion Ash was now giving him. "I do want this. I want you. But when we do go further, I want to know that it's real." It took all of his effort and self-control to take another step backwards, waiting in silence for Ash's response.

It was a minute before Ash spoke, though Clemont could almost feel the confusion coming off him in waves. "This...this is real," Ash said, and with a note of pride Clemont realized that he was still breathless from their moment of intimacy, and that he had caused it. "Clemont," he whined, his voice filled with need. "What makes this...what makes what you just did...not real?"

Clemont sighed, and willed his voice not to shake, and to not cry. "Ash...I...look. I've known I was gay for a long time. I've only ever been interested in guys, and I...in particular, I've been interested in you for a long time. I've done research. I know what I like, and what I want out of a relationship of this nature. But...research doesn't compare to the real thing, not even close. And I want to be with you...but...I don't think I could take it if we took the next step and you...realized that...maybe this kind of relationship...isn't for you. I...I don't want to just be an experiment for you." He felt ashamed now, having said those words, but his increasing worry that Ash was only with him out of some obligation of their friendship or just to see what it was like was starting to get in the way of their happiness, and he had to know whether there was any possible basis of fact for his hypothesis.

"You think you're an experiment to me?" The hurt was evident in his voice.

"Aren't I?" Clemont asked, just as hurt. He didn't doubt that Ash cared about him - but he couldn't bring himself to believe that it was in the way he had so convinced himself it was.

"No." Ash reached for his hand in the dark, and their fingers intertwined. "Not everything has to be so scientific all the time, Clemont. I'll admit, I never saw myself being with a guy. But I never really saw myself being with anyone. At least, until I met you." He leaned his head on Clemont's shoulder. "I promise that I'm not just going to leave you, even if...if I find I'm not...into that," he finished lamely, not knowing what else to say. "But I will be. I know I will be. I'm into anything that's with you."

Clemont stayed silent, but he gave Ash's hand a squeeze. He wanted so badly to believe him, especially since he knew Ash truly meant everything he said, but it would not be the first time he had heard of someone abruptly changing their mind at a turning point in a relationship even if it hadn't been their intention going into it. It was only what Ash had to say next that finally did make him feel better.

"Clemont..." he shifted around until he was facing him, and leaned his forehead against his. "I...I've felt this way for a little bit now. And I think it's finally time to tell you." He took a deep breath, and Clemont could feel a slight tremble as Ash's nerves kicked in. "Clemont...I love you."

He couldn't help it. He lost control, his arms coming to wrap up around Ash's back as he pulled him into a passionate kiss. Those were the words he had been longing to hear so desperately. That was the hope that had given him the strength to keep going every day. "I love you too," he whispered huskily into Ash's ear. "Always have. Always will." And he pulled him in for another kiss, just as he heard the creak of the door opening, and light flooded into the closet.

"Well," Bonnie said, grinning as the boys broke apart and stared at her in horror. "It certainly took you long enough."

"B-Bonnie!" Clemont said furiously, his face flushed both from his activities with Ash and from his sister seeing and possibly even hearing them together. "How long have you been standing outside?"

"Since I locked you in," she said, and Clemont dropped his face into his hands while Ash laughed like crazy. "You two are idiots," she told them, but she was grinning at them with an expression of pure happiness. "You really thought I didn't know you two were together? Honestly. I just had to make sure you two dopes really had admitted your feelings!"

"Wait...you knew?" Ash asked, incredulous. "How?" But all Bonnie did was smile mysteriously at them, before walking away and finally leaving them truly alone together.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

I actually think I had this chapter written a little more elegantly at one point, but I lost the file, so this one had to be rewritten. Anyway...earlier on, I promised you all content of a certain nature, and...well, we're getting there. In case that's what you've been sticking around for. There's still a couple challenges our favorite couple needs to tackle before they get there though, and I think those will be covered in the next chapter.

Stay tuned for Chapter 21, and thank you for reading / following / favoriting / reviewing!