FORTY-THREE - The Talk(s)
13 Days Until The Wedding
I wish Obi were here.
Shirayuki couldn't help but feel her very bones shake inside of her as she was now alone, face to face, with the Second Prince of Clarines. Zen Wistaria, the very man who captured her heart, filled it up, and then threw it behind him to allow it to wilt and wither before her. The man she was prepared to give everything to because he saw her beyond the very red hair that puts everyone in a trance. The man who is about to be a groom, then husband with a beautiful woman of his own class.
"I'm sorry," Zen murmured, his eyes diverted down on his covered legs, "I don't mean to put you in such an uncomfortable position, Shirayuki…"
"But you do, don't you, Your Majesty?" Shirayuki mumbled quietly, idling around the room without looking back at the Prince. She didn't want to look at Zen. She didn't want to be near Zen. She didn't even want to be in the same room as Zen, regardless of how huge it was. It's still too hard on her heart.
"I… yes, I do mean to do this," Zen admitted with embarrassment. "But, my selfishness couldn't help itself, and I just really wanted some time with you. To exchange words and look at your beautiful face…"
"M'sorry, Your Highness," Shirayuki began quietly, arms folded above her chest. She still didn't dare face him and that stung Zen's heart a bit. "But I'd rather you not say those words to me while you're engaged. It's disrespectful to Princess Elizabeth."
"I really hate the way you're talking to me," Zen muttered in distaste. "We're alone. You can call me Zen and not be so proper."
"I'd be more comfortable not using such a privilege," Shirayuki spat. "But thank you for the reminder, Your Highness."
Zen gritted his teeth. Shirayuki had always been so stubborn and refused a lot of things even though they're offered to her and she had deserved them. Back then, that was extremely charming and probably one of Zen's favorite traits of hers. But assuming because of the spite she now holds against him, she was no longer comfortable to even acting as just friends with the very Prince. And that honestly sent a spear through Zen's heart.
"Shirayuki, I'm sorry." His words held sincerity and that made Shirayuki widen her eyes. She halted from her pacing, eyebrows raised and ears fully attentive. "For our last talk. The one that was barely a talk and me taking control over you."
Oh. Shirayuki can recall that 'talk' as clear as day. The 'talk' that was actually Zen trying to keep her heart beating for solely him while he continues his little public love story with his fiance. The 'talk' that then turned into a week of her unconsented adoration from Zen, who seemed to have made obsessed sound like a very big understatement.
He kissed her, but not as tenderly and kind the way he used to.
He touched her, but not with his gentle, welcoming hands.
He gave attention to her neck, but that made her sink into a pit of self destruction.
She brought a hand up to her neck, feeling it bare and cold. She forgot Obi's scarf due to the rush to make sure the Prince was okay. But now, in the center of this luxurious room, Shirayuki soon found herself regretting it and should have taken her time. Her index finger finds the spot where Zen installed his love mark, the one that concluded her traumatic experience with the side of the Prince she had never seen before, and hopes never to see again.
"For the entire time that I've known you," Shirayuki began quietly, "I never even considered the idea of you even possibly manipulating me. Not even in the slightest did I think you'd ever abuse me or hurt me in such a way. You… led me into believing that you would protect me and support me however you could, even if it became a balance between your position and me."
Shirayuki's hands enhance the grip upon her upper arms. "...And then, you went ahead and broke my heart in public. And I- I didn't even suspect a thing!" Shirayuki turned to stare at Zen, who already had his azure eyes glued on her. They meet eyes, just to ensure Zen had a good look of her pain, of her suffering. "The days went by as usual, and you didn't leave the castle once- not at all. You must've sent a letter or something at your desk, pretending to be doing your royal duties, didn't you? Through the birds in such a timely matter and probably planned it out within hours… the nerve you have…"
"Shirayuki-"
"You want to apologize?" Shirayuki said in a hush tone. "Then you apologize. I'll forgive you, but don't think I'll ever forget what you did to me." Zen grabbed his sheets harshly into his trembling hands.
"Shirayuki, please, I love yo-"
"I know you do, I don't doubt it," Shirayuki whispers, averting her eyes to the floor. "You've done more for me than any man, of valued blood or not, wouldn't even consider doing. And that is why I am beyond grateful to not only you, but Kiki and Mitsuhide and everyone who serves under your wing. But your love has a dollop of flaw in it, and has become a love too twisted and selfish to even take in wholeheartedly. And for that, I'm very sorry to you, Your Highness, and to Miss Elizabeth."
"Why are you apologizing to me?" Zen questioned curiously. "And more over, to Elizabeth?"
"For being here currently," Shirayuki replied. "Though you requested it, you know that you shouldn't have and should have rather requested your fiance. She probably longs to be by your side during these times- especially with your wedding coming very soon. So for those reasons, I apologize."
"But," Shirayuki begins, a small smile tickling her supple pink lips. "I also thank you for breaking my heart. Even though my love for your was strong enough to ignore it, I no longer feel the weight of war in my heart between me and your position. I don't have to feel inadequate every day because you're no longer my lover. I knew someone else was much more suited for you, and thankfully your heart stumbled upon Miss Elizabeth. So thank you for finding your happiness and letting me go to find my peak of it."
Silence began to fill until Zen spoke up again. "As much as I feel elated to hear you doing well, I can't help but drown in this incomprensible pain from being apart from you." He removed the blanket from his legs and tossed them over the bed, his feet touching the cool ground. Shirayuki allows him to appear in his periphery so she can move appropriately to keep a distance. "I regret letting you go."
Shirayuki snorted a little before allowing her lips to engrave a small smile. "In primary school, all the girls in my class would go on and on about how they desire being with a Prince. They wanted nothing more than for a handsome fellow to fancy them, let them live in a castle, and pamper them with grapes and all sorts of goodies you couldn't get in our social class." Shirayuki rubbed her nose a little, and Zen felt himself melting at it. "And though I thought those fantasies were cute, I couldn't see myself desiring or being with a Prince. I want to spend the rest of my days comfortable because of my hard work and perseverance. I want to freely study my practice and not worry about royal duties like you do. I want to roam around the world liberated without people knowing my name or being terrified because of my power."
Zen wanted to run to her and swallow her in his arms. He wanted to pamper her with kisses and the love she deserved that came straight from his heart. He wanted her to live that very life while still be in love with him, betrothed to him, and be his Princess. He knew that putting up with him would be difficult due to his title, but Shirayuki was willing to work through that. She absolutely gave him everything.
"And somehow," Shirayuki whispered. She looked up at him, eyes meeting and locking. "Somehow, you were the only exception."
Suddenly, the pain that Zen had just moments ago was returning. His heart was throbbing, his brain was swelling, and his chest felt like it was contracting. He was now the one feeling powerless as he looked at the beautiful girl before him. The girl who managed to unlock his heart to emotions he once concluded couldn't even be touched by just anybody. Moreover, a mere plebeian like herself. But here Shirayuki stood, making his position seem like dust.
"But I still don't quite understand you, Your Highness," Shirayuki spoke softly. "You say all these sweet things to me, all these sweet nothings and that you love me. But, breaking my heart for your engagement completely contradicts that. So it's rather confusing that way, you see…"
"Someday, I'll explain it to you," Zen replied earnestly. "I promise."
"No need," Shirayuki quickly refused. "Fortunately for you, you've already chosen what you wanted. And now, I've already chosen what I wanted." She smiles contently. "He's waiting outside for me."
Before Zen could get another word in, a loud bang reaches at the door. The two doors were kicked right open, hitting the walls they're attached to as Shirayuki and Zen jump in surprise. They watched as the infamous blonde King strolls into the room, his face stone cold and evidently unamused. Zen flinched to also find his fiance right behind his older brother. Shirayuki could hear her heartbeat in her ears.
"Sorry for the intrusion," Izana spoke firmly, his dark blue eyes easily hexing Shirayuki. "But I know that the 'be sure nobody disturbs us' rule does not apply to me. Isn't that right, little brother?" He glances over to see Zen nod obediently. He focuses on Shirayuki again. "Would you mind giving us our privacy, Shirayuki?"
"I'd be more than delighted to, Your Majesty," Shirayuki responded firmly. She bowed to them kindly before saying, "If you will excuse me King Izana, Prince Zen, and Miss Elizabeth."
Izana's eyes merely glanced at Zen's balcony. "Be sure to bring young Ryu with you."
Astonished, everyone turned to see the young boy reveal himself from the balcony. Shirayuki hadn't had a clue, and was very shocked that Zen didn't notice his presence there either. But she was quick to dissolve the situation when she offered her hand to the young boy and seeing him rush over to take it. She felt him shake in her hold.
"Pardon us." Quickly, Shirayuki guided the both of them passed the royals and towards the door. As she did, Zen stared at her with longing but noticed Elizabeth give her a devil-like glare that only one who holds true as a sinister would give. But then Zen mimicked that very glare when he saw Obi offer Shirayuki his hand and her taking it, seeing visible relief overcome her as he led her through the crowd and out of the scene.
As soon as she escaped, Izana looked back at the staff and scoffed. "Dissolve from the corridor, all of you. Go back to attending your duties." And just like that, the maidens and guards had disappeared and spread all about the castle once more. Izana then turned to Zen and said, "go and close the doors, will you? Lock them while you're at it."
Abiding, Zen swiftly walks to his doors and closes them gently, one by one. With one little 'click,' the doors were now locked and Zen was now stuck with the consequences he knew he was bound to get.
"Princess, if you may." Izana began idling away from her, having Elizabeth feel somewhat exposed without the King being in front of her. Izana grabs one of Zen's chairs and drags out towards the center of the room. Dropping it, he points down at the cushion. "Sit down for a bit, relieve yourself. You're not going to say a single word anyways since you were cowering behind me, so you might as well sit there and look pretty like the accessory you choose to be."
"P-pardon me, Your Majesty-" Elizabeth tried, seeming genuinely fumed but Izana wasn't one to be played.
"One who stutters and cannot, for any reason, stand their ground is not suited to be a Princess," Izana spits coolly. "I don't care who says you're suited for my brother because he needs a strong maiden by his side who doesn't cower from him nor me."
"I'll have you know that I'm a Princess for a reason!" Elizabeth defends herself in pure frustration. Zen looks away and rolls his eyes. "People look up to me, expect great things from me! Even your people were honored to be in my presence, like at the ceremony-"
"That was the only time my people saw you, Princess," Izana informed. "You haven't stepped any precious foot out the castle because you seem to0 high and proud to be surrounded by commoners, now don't you? Makes sense why you weren't married off already, considering how sheltered you make yourself be."
Elizabeth's breath hitched and she had no more to say. She put her hands on her lap, sitting nice and tight in her fuschia puff mess worth of a dress as she looked down in embarrassment. Zen had always known how strong his brother was, but to see how he weaves it in the flesh is fairly incredibly. Izana can talk to just about any King, Queen, Czar, Prince, and Princess that way and know for a fact that he'll be right and they'd be too terrified to start war because of how much Izana has developed their state. The only person he'd probably never be that way to is his fiance, Haki.
"No wonder why you neglect her with such ease," Izana breathed, having Elizabeth falter from the comment. He was now facing his little brother, who was leaning against the double doors while glaring down at the ground. Izana's audacity was now crossing the line a bit as Zen (though very disinterest in his fiance) dislikes any woman being spoken to in such a way. "But that still doesn't allow you to reject her like this."
"I know…"
"You've chosen for this woman to be your fiance, and you will therefore standby your choice and love her as your partner, fiance, bride, and soon-to-be Princess of Clarines. I've told you this before- I absolutely refuse for anyone to believe that that girl-" Izana jabs a finger at the door, "-is your Mistress!"
"How did you find out that she was here?" Zen pondered to his sibling.
"For one thing, there were less staff spread about the castle than usual so I figured you did something," Izana hummed. "But then little birds came about telling me that you were alone with one of the court herbalist. And though I already know who, I'd always ask and get told that it's the young woman with the bright, red hair."
"Wait, Shirayuki?" Elizabeth peeped curiously. "You were alone with the sweet herbalist downstairs?"
"Yes," Izana confirms in annoyance. Elizabeth soon begins to get clouded with thought before her blue eyes widen and sudden hurt starts to drown them.
"A-are you having an a-affair," Elizabeth begins, her bottom lip quivering, "w-with her?"
"No, he isn't," Izana quickly strikes. "Will you please remain silent for the rest of my confrontation with my little brother? Thank you." But she does not listen.
"But she's Obi's lover!" Elizabeth exclaims. Zen falters at this and looks away from her to try and evade her words. But, of course, that doesn't shut her up. "They've had something for a while it seems and it's obviously been lit up- you saw how she ran to him, didn't yo-"
"Please contain yourself, you half-blooded nitwit," Izana spat, not regretting any single word he spewed. He's been agitated, enough to hurt Elizabeth beyond belief and have Zen's curiosity piqued at once more. Zen raised a brow at him, having Izana nod in confirmation. "Yes, our Princess here isn't even full royalty. Her father was not only a commoner, but a peasant from a corn farm. He wasn't even from her state."
Zen's legs felt a little weak, as he was pretty surprised from this newfound fact. He knew that Izana had always dug into anyone who came about in their lives, even if they are pure allies to the crown. Especially because the reason that Zen and Izana were even aware of her existence is because of someone close to them. But even then, Izana isn't satisfied by just their approval alone. He always required more.
"That's rather judgemental, considering you're engaged to an intellectual that hasn't got a spec of royalty in her," Zen informed. But he hadn't said it to be rude, but rather being honest.
"The key word of your statement is 'intellectual,'" Izana hummed. "Meaning while I'm engaged to someone with wit, you're soon to be bound with a nitwit." Elizabeth silently huffed at the extremely rude individual.
"Mind if you tone it down with the rudeness, Lord Brother?" Zen urged with a sigh. "You were on her side just yesterday, what happened?"
"I saw her disrespect one of our maids on my way to seek her out," Izana began. He glided his hand up and began rubbing his thumb and index finger together in some sort of thought. "I suppose I can't take such things lightly as those are our maidens who have served us for many years and will do so as long as they can." Elizabeth only rolled her eyes, obviously holding in a disrespectful comment in fear of Izana's retaliation.
"Fair," Zen spewed briefly. "I shall avoid seeing and interacting with her upon arrival of my wedding. But if accidental or unintentional meet occurs, or she confronts me, I cannot be blamed for that."
Izana nods at his younger sibling before glancing back to see Elizabeth. Her cheeks were rosy and glossed up from tears, as though she was genuinely hurt. Izana scoffed at it, seeing how weak she was in comparison to Shirayuki. It made him almost disgusted to think that his little brother was going to marry a dolt rather than an intellectual like the young herbalist down stairs. He rushed towards the door but quickly halted right when he was beside his brother. Zen raised his ear, knowing Izana wanted to convey something to him.
"You should have defied her," Izana murmured into his ear, "and gone through with your plans to marry Little Red."
With that, Izana unlocked the doors and pushed through one of them, his cape proceeding him before he vanished into thin air. Zen was left, wide-eyed and in some sort of awe while his fiance had been sat just a few feet before him, sobbing terribly.
"Ryu, why were you still in the Prince's room?" Shirayuki asked with a worried tone.
The three were back in their office, with Obi leaning against the window by Shirayuki's desk. His heart was pounding, extremely anxious over the whereabouts and well-being of Ryu. Shirayuki was stood in front of Ryu, who was sitting on his desk obediently with his usual blank face. But his aqua eyes did gloss in contrite as Shirayuki's trembling hands held his own.
"Half pint, you could've gotten in some serious trouble," Obi informed. "You're lucky Master is a good Prince and would never even consider imprisoning you or having you decapitated for listening in on a royal conversation."
"I…" Ryu began but Shirayuki squeezed his little hands a little tighter.
"Especially when his Majesty came in," Shirayuki said in a more hush tone, almost fearful. Ryu looked up to see Shirayuki's color completely leave her face. She was genuinely concerned for the boy, and for that did Ryu suffer this painful wave of guilt. "I was so scared that he was going to do something to you…"
"I couldn't leave you in their alone with him!" Ryu suddenly exclaimed, having Obi and Shirayuki hitch their breaths. They stared wistfully at the boy, seeing as he dropped his head down and studied the floor once more. "If Obi wasn't allowed to be in there… I didn't want you to be alone with the Prince." Shirayuki abandoned his hands and began rubbing his shoulders to ease him.
"But he wasn't going to do a thing to me, Ryu," Shirayuki insisted quietly.
"And if he did?" Ryu countered, having Shirayuki go silent. "I could at least distract him and get Obi in the room. He was outside the room waiting for you, and I knew he'd be able to reach you if I was needed to unlock the door."
"Ryu…" Obi breathed, taken aback by the boys sentimental words.
"I heard what he did to you, Shirayuki," Ryu began, looking up to see those emerald eyes watery and threatening to form waterfalls. "How was I not going to stay after hearing what the Prince did to you? He… he could have done it again and I wouldn't have been there to alert anyone."
He paid attention to the conversation, Shirayuki thought. Even Obi found himself easing up a little from Ryu's words. He wasn't wrong in his actions, though it was disrespectful to the Prince. He's developed sentiment and has obviously prioritized the things he cares about. And it seems that Shirayuki has put herself up there in that very list of his.
"Ryu…" Emotion had finally taken her over as Shirayuki bend down and swallowed Ryu in her arms. Tears ran down her pink tinted cheeks as she sobbed painfully loud. Ryu couldn't help but feel his own eyes starting to water but had quickly stopped when Obi walked over and placed his hand on his dark brown head.
"Thank you," Obi said firmly with a small smile. "For protecting her."
Ryu nodded. The young boy found himself understand Obi in the sense that he'd want to do anything for Shirayuki to be okay. After saving her once from the rude intruder many nights ago, he never wanted to feel the way he did again. His heart almost ripped to think that he might never see Shirayuki again, alive or not. Even when she was just in tears, Ryu couldn't help but want to make sure he never saw those tears again. Shirayuki has become far too important to the boy and he will do whatever it takes to keep her close and safe.
"You love me the way I think an older sister loves a younger brother," Ryu began softly in Shirayuki's ear. She was quick to widen her eyes at that very statement but still held the boy tightly in her arms. "I've never experienced that kind of care before I met Miss Garak, who only gave me a small shred of that. So when you came along, Shirayuki… I've finally experienced what it's like to be loved. And then Obi came and now I understand what it feels like to have a family. A real family."
Shirayuki giggled with elation as she held the boy tightly. He felt his small arms finally do the same, his arms still too small for his hands can't reach each other on the maidens back. Obi smiled softly, his hand remaining on the boys head as they listened to Shirayuki's gentle sobbing.