FORTY-FOUR - A Dent in Consistency and Certainty
13 Days Until The Wedding
The evening finally came, and Garak was far too tense after everything that had occurred.
"M-Miss Garak, I can explain for him. I-" Shirayuki tried, but Garak had been in no mood for Shirayuki's attempt to soothe the situation.
"Ryu, what in the world were you doing eavesdropping in Shirayuki and the Prince's conversation?" Garak quickly spat at the young boy, who was sitting obediently in his stool by his desk. Shirayuki stood behind him with Obi sat at the windowsill, studying Garak's disappointed face. "He specifically said for everyone to leave except for Shirayuki and you disobeyed without saying a word!"
"He obviously forgot my existence," Ryu spoke calmly, like the world was no longer in disarray. "You, along with everyone else, forgot that I had been there, too. So I remained hidden as I wasn't pointed out."
"It's your responsibility to make yourself known and follow instruction, Ryu!" Garak scolded. "That was a very inappropriate time to act sly and act as though you were a ghost. And now I must take the blame if they came down here, seeking answers and installing punishments on you."
Ryu's hands tightened on his knees. "M'sorry… I didn't mean to cause any trouble. I just wanted to make sure Shirayuki would be okay…"
"Obi was right outside the door!" Garak exclaims, having Ryu's eyes dim as he continued to stare at the floor. Shirayuki felt desperate to defend Ryu, but she understands that Garak needs her time to explain the wrong in Ryu's actions. "Regardless of you being there or not to unlock the door wouldn't matter because Obi knows more than one way to enter any room."
"But-" Shirayuki tried but Garak was quick to shut her down.
"Obi has the entire castle scaled," Garak pointed out. "He'd enter the Prince's room through the floor if there was a way. And if not, he'd make a way."
"She isn't wrong," Obi murmured, gliding his hands up to the back of his head as he held them still. He then stood from the windowsill and walked over to Ryu. He gave him a reassuring ruffling in the hair, having Ryu lift his head just a bit. "But half pint had good intentions. As much as he took a risk and could have gotten in serious trouble, he had Shirayuki's well-being in mind."
"No offense, but they don't care about 'good intentions,'" Garak pointed out softly. "As much as I understand Ryu's good intent, they won't care for it at all."
Garak sighed in some agitance and stress, but Ryu was quick to put some input. "I'll take the blame." All eyes glued onto Ryu following his words. "I was the one who was in the room when I shouldn't have been, therefore I'm the one who should be taking the punishments, whatever they may be."
Shirayuki had been beyond furious at this moment. She refused to believe that anyone would be getting punished for a 'royal talk' that didn't even regard any of the politics or secrecies regarding the kingdom or any affiliated ones. It was a mere apology from the Prince to the young maiden, and it was not truly not that consequential for Ryu or anyone to get punished. So she decided to simply take matters into her own hands.
"Miss Garak," Shirayuki began, walking from behind Ryu and over to her superior. Her gentle hands went and grabbed a hold of Garak's, having the woman feel a light squeeze from the young herbalist. "If any punishments are to be distributed, they'll be given to me. I shall go talk to the Prince."
Immediately (and almost expectedly), Obi was adamant.
He rushed over behind Shirayuki and grabbed her forearm. Not harshly, of course, but enough to have her let go of Garak to turn to look at him. "You're not going near him any time soon, Miss. I'm sorry, but I don't want you to be near him right now." Even Ryu lifted his head up, aqua eyes with shock.
Shirayuki's eyes looked into Obi's and she knew right then and there that he was serious. Those amber dollops held worry and concern, with his cut worth of pupils practically shaking. She could even feel his hand shake a bit when holding her forearm, and that was honestly a first for Obi. But surely, she couldn't rely on Obi to protect her all the time in every situation she's confronted with.
"I'll be just fine," Shirayuki insisted quietly, her emerald eyes just as determined as her words. "I'm not scared of him."
"I know that," Obi urged, his eyes falling to the floor with a frown bothering his face. "I just… would much rather you not be around him for right now. Everything seems a bit heated now, and I don't want you to be presented with Master in an extremely bad mood."
Everyone had remained still. Garak had been staring at the two, almost studying them, as they were caught up in a moment. Shirayuki was staring at her lover wistfully, seeing how much the idea of her going to see Zen bothered him. It was not only for protective reasons, but also it seems like a hint of jealousy had joined the mixture. It was always obvious that some hint of jealousy always reflected the man whenever she'd be near Master or even had his name on her tongue. But Obi couldn't really help it, could he?
"I'm sorry," Obi apologizes, eyes reconnecting with Shirayuki's. "Just please don't go. Please."
Shirayuki watches as Obi's armor immediately drops. She's seen Obi in vulnerable states in regards of her, but not like this. His hands couldn't stay still, his eyes were not sharp and determined. They were soft, like honey dews, with a tinge of woe and worry for the woman before him. His heart was right before Shirayuki, beating lightly while susceptible to just about anything Shirayuki could throw at it. She could see all of this with just one look of the current Obi.
"Obi…" Shirayuki breathes. But before she could say anymore, a soft knock came to the closed door of the office. Garak, being the closest, fearfully places her hand on the knob and opens it. Fortunately, it revealed nobody more than Kiki. "Oh, Kiki!"
"I apologize if I've interrupted anything," the blonde aide begins respectfully, having Shirayuki quickly nod before gently detaching from Obi. He was still shaking, but placed his hands behind his back to hide it.
"N-no, it's alright," Shirayuki insisted. "How's the Prince?"
"He's well," Kiki replied with a curt smile. "Much better than earlier, that's for sure. But I came down here to let you all know that both Wistaria brothers are not intending to distribute any punishments to Ryu." Everyone's hearts throbbed in relief. "The Prince is not mad and hopes he did not cause a stir down here in regards of that."
"That's good to hear," Garak replies, letting out a shaky sigh. Kiki's blue orbs found themselves narrowing at Obi's hand holding onto Shirayuki's forearm. And, of course, Shirayuki noticed this and flushed a bit before grabbing his hand and detaching it from her forearm. But she did give him a light squeeze, for he was still shaking just a bit. Kiki mentally noted this before acknowledging Shirayuki suddenly bowing at her.
"But if there is a punishment in consideration," Shirayuki began almost pleadingly. "Might you let the Prince know that it should be installed on me?"
"Sh-Shirayuki!" Ryu exclaimed, aqua eyes wide with shock and some agitance at Shirayuki's willingness to take the punishment that rightfully belongs to him. But before he could go on any sort of vent, Kiki strolled over to Shirayuki and patted on her shoulder, asking her to rise. And she did, reticently, but abided with ease.
"Your willingness to protect young Ryu is very admirable, Shirayuki," Kiki begins softly. But as Shirayuki rose, she could see Kiki's azure eyes warm up into a tame blue. "But I promise in the name of this kingdom that the Prince has no intent to punish Ryu. Moreover, I very much doubt he'd want to inflict any sort of harm on you."
Obi's teeth gritted, but Kiki was only being honest. He can't really get angry at that, now could he?
"That's g-good, I suppose…" Shirayuki spewed awkwardly, not necessarily caring too much over the Prince's fondness of her. Because surely, it did put a toll on her heart that the Prince hadn't been angry with her, as he likely has taken a guess at what has gone on between her and Obi. And she knew that he also comprehended her fondness for the young boy, who has taught her things beyond what she could learn on her own at Tanbarun. "B-but, I can't help feeling like I've caused tension between His Majesties and Lady Elizabeth…"
Kiki smiled kindly. "Don't worry- His Majesty is alright, and the Prince and his Lady are getting along just as well as they first met."
"Shirayuki is your ex-lover!?"
It was Elizabeth's obnoxious shriek of shock and 'hurt' that had a migraine brewing up in Zen's head. He had welcomed her to his office for a talk, as she yearned for answers and refused to go anywhere away from him without them. So he forced his aides out, put her royal bottom on a seat, and faced her head-on while leaning against his desk.
"I've been fond of that woman since the day I met her," Zen began quietly. A curt smile played at his lips before they dissolved, realizing the reality of things are far different from the intent of the past. His heart was quick to wield his feelings when it fell into his stomach. "There's nothing I don't find fascinating in such a self-made, sweet woman like Shirayuki."
"But she's nothing more than the daughter of mere peasants!" Elizabeth spat, her hands pounding down at the teal-licked dress that looked of a crab puff. "How can you be lovers with someone who is far below you in class and value?"
"Because she's got more of a golden heart than we have any spec of gold on our crowns," Zen defended, touching at Elizabeth's safe feeling as a Princess. "Even then, you aren't as full royalty as you made out to be. So if you're judging by that, I deserve much better than you, don't I?" Elizabeth felt her cheeks burn, embarrassed and pretty appalled by Zen's audacious words.
"You're just as rude as your brother, aren't you?" Elizabeth practically hissed, her cheeks being licks with singular streaks of salted tears. "You would think you'd see your brother's sour attitude and attempt to be better than him, succeed him in a much kinder manner."
"I don't only see it, Princess," Zen hummed, "I live it." His slim fingertips tapped at the desk behind him boredly, impatient to dismiss her and allow the distance to dissolve the situation at hand. He was much more concerned with the poisonous image of his beloved ex-lover sharing an intimate kiss with his mere personal assistant. "I don't intend on being like my brother and my mindset, in fact, is on the very end of the opposite spectrum of his. But I know who is good and who is bad. Understand that my respect and tolerance will remain for you, Princess, but my heart will never be yours."
The Princess simply sat there, the color dissolving from her face as her eyes shook with this mockery pain she's attempt to facade. Zen knew that she wasn't bothered emotionally because of the disconnect, but because she so desperately just wants to be the Princess of a well-respected and desirable kingdom. That's all anyone has ever wanted from him anyways: power. Or wealth- something that makes them above others, even if just by a few. A few strands of snow white locks played down to his face, tickling his nose a bit as he locked eyes with the maiden he's to marry.
But Shirayuki is ultimately the reason why he can't give his heart to Elizabeth or any other Princess that attempts to come his way.
Her beauty is incomparable. Her beautiful mind expresses colors that no one has ever seen before. Her genius has more worth than any trade of land or affluency.
Shirayuki is just that amazing, and Zen doubts he can be convinced otherwise.
"...We are still to be wedded though, yes?" Elizabeth cuts the silence with such a soft, low tone. Zen barely reacts in surprise as he chuckles dully. "I know for a fact that you wouldn't dare try to stop it- she says you'd never oppose to her word."
Zen could feel his jaw tighten, his teeth threatening to grit aggressively along one another. "'Never' is a rather strong word to use. I wouldn't say 'never.'"
"But you have nothing to go back to, now do you?" Elizabeth tested, having Zen watch as her eyelids lower to merely squint in a challenging manner. Her pink lips form into a smirk, one that is entertained and practically devious. "Shirayuki is not yours anymore, Your Highness. She is no longer your lover, and her love for you disappeared as quick as smoke in thin air."
"You don't know a thing about her or me," Zen quickly dismisses. "You have no clue about anything." He clears his throat then, and begins to walk towards the large balcony behind him. Elizabeth's pupils dilate quite a bit, feeling somewhat defeated. "I'm in a worse mood. If you will- the door is behind you and a guard shall escort you to your room… Princess."
It burns his tongue to say that.
"W-well then," Elizabeth says promptly, the ruffling sound of her puffy dress prominent as she rose from her seat. "I pay you adieu, Your Highness. May you feel better soon."
Zen doesn't bother to turn around as his fiance pinched two parts of the dress with her hands to lift it up properly. Right then she walked towards the door, with a guard already attentive to her footsteps and opening the heavy door for her. She exits without a word, and the last thing Zen hears is the door shut and footsteps retreating his office until they're distance memories and he becomes numb again.
Immediately after such a short-lived moment, Mitsuhide enters the room. "Zen?" The aide begins gently as he shuts the door behind him. "Are you al-"
"Who permitted you to enter?" Zen intruded coolly, having Mitsuhide widen his eyes only slightly, with shock. He stands with proper posture, staring at his higher up as he begins to take few steps towards him.
"I don't recall ever requiring permission in order to remain by your side, Zen," Mitsuhide began, having Zen down a painful gulp. Mitsuhide had always been right when it came down to moments like this: this wasn't like Zen. His aides needn't permission to be there for him- they want to be there for him. And he wasn't going to be one to deny a pleasure he's never had in a long time: genuine respect and care.
"M'sorry…" Zen begins with a raspy, low tone. "I didn't mean to say that."
Mitsuhide smiles softly, "I know." He walks closer, just about a few feet behind him. Zen would listen to his boots clink the ground and the way his full sheith bounced against his thigh. Mitsuhide looked at the Prince softly, a frown playing at his lips immediately when reminding himself of the stress he's going through. "I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time right now, Zen… I wish to assist you in any way I can."
"I wish you could stop this wedding without the entire kingdom being disappointed in me," Zen murmured, his fists clenching tightly. Mitsuhide knew his nails were threatening to gash into his flesh. Zen quickly turns around though, to his aides surprise, with misty azure eyes and flushed tinted cheeks. "I hate being betrothed to this… this disgraceful woman!"
"Z-Zen…" Mitsuhide was taken aback, but he knew that Zen needed to spill whatever he needed to without interruption.
"This woman does not even deserve to be Princess!" Zen hissed through his gritted teeth. "She lacks in intelligence and beauty, and heart and gratitude. Dare she disrespect my staff… by God, I'll let that occur." Zen's eyes forced itself into the brown orbs Mitsuhide owned, trying to have his aide comprehend without words. "She is not the woman for me, and she is not the Princess I want for this kingdom. She never was, and she doesn't deserve to be."
But then Zen's eyes drop to the floor, an action Mitsuhide predicted he'd do. "And with everything I've done… I don't even deserve Shirayuki." Now this was something Mitsuhide did not expect. His Prince was always confidence with everything, especially with the things that he believed in religiously. Like his future holding Shirayuki in it.
"Zen…"
"There's absolutely nothing you can tell me that can convince me otherwise," Zen mumbled as he hung his head in shame. "Obi told you of all the things I've done to this girl. All the bad doing that she absolutely doesn't need. All the waves of pain I've brought to that precious heart, and the woeful tears I've produced… I'm lucky that she's chosen to stay, with all I have done to her and her respected level of pride she owns." His bottom lip begins to quiver upon finishing his words, having Mitsuhide quickly react as he opened his arms.
Zen falls into them with no reticence, having the two slowly slide down to the ground. Now on their knees, Zen is glomped on Mitsuhide tightly, his hands trembling upon the man's sturdy back. Mitsuhide returns the firm embrace, holding onto his Prince with all the care he's only ever owned for him. He allowed for the white-haired boy to dig his face into the warm crevice of his mocha neck.
"It's not a matter of deserving, Zen," Mitsuhide hummed quickly by his ear. "It's a matter of how welcoming you are to her." Zen took in this words as he quietly wept in his aides neck. "If you've now realized this, you can fix things. Maybe not the way it used to be, but a way that will make it up to her."
Zen barely nods as he holds Mitsuhide tighter. He knows this crying will do nothing. He knows venting won't bring Shirayuki back to him. He knows all this far too well, but it's the only thing he knows how to do right now. But Zen knows he can't be this vulnerable for long.
After his moment, Zen understands he must put his desires into action and fix the damage he's done. For his sake, and for Shirayuki's.
Night soon came, and Kiki had returned to the office to see the two men still in the embrace. Zen had already wept his heart out, and the woe exhausted him into slumber. Mitsuhide held the boy closely to him, listening to his gentle breaths and small snores that kindly sounded the room. Kiki could only lean against the doors silently, watching her partner come to true aide to the man they do not regret serving. Not even during this time of conflict and somewhat deviance.
"Is he sound asleep?" Kiki asks quietly, hoping not to break the Prince of his warm slumber. Mitsuhide merely glances back, feeling the hot breaths from Zen's mouth emitting upon his neck.
"Quite," Mitsuhide responds with a humored chuckle. "Opens his heart out to me and then passes out in my arms. He's more of a Princess if you asked me."
Kiki smirked in amusement before it quickly diminished to a straight line. "A lot happened earlier today. That isn't good." Mitsuhide frowned right then, but then gently shrugged his shoulders.
"There's only so much we can do," Mitsuhide breaths. "Now if we could start thinking of ways we can help…"
"Mitsuhide," Kiki began, "there's not a thing we can do. All we can really do is attempt to guide Zen to the right path and abide to his desires."
Mitsuhide sucked his teeth. "That's the kind of thinking that'll serve Zen nothing." He looks down (as much as he could) to see the sleepy Prince on him. He blows air towards his face to move some strands of snow hair from his face to see his stern face and closed eyes. "What we can do for him is support him in his new path, one that derails from the original one."
Kiki raised her eyebrow in curiosity. "Elaborate."
"A new path," Mitsuhide hummed. "One for himself, guided by his own thoughtful choices and interpreted experiences."
Kiki couldn't help but smile. Mitsuhide had always had a good, raw wisdom whenever it came down to it. She knows he purposely saves it for moments like this, but seeing him share vulnerability with the Prince had given a warmth in her heart she hasn't felt in a long while. So much has gone on in this one castle alone, and it's quite overwhelming to just be a small piece of a big matter that's beyond the two aide's hands. But she knew that Mitsuhide would always have her back, hand-in-hand with anything that confronted them.
"Sounds like a good plan," she admits quietly.
Mitsuhide listens to her boots clink closer to the two, having him brace himself a bit for any chance in physical state. Kiki walked towards Mitsuhide's back and then turned around to take a seat. Mitsuhide felt his sturdy back become a wall to lean on as Kiki's little body weight leaned against the bigger body. She decides to weave her legs in a pretzel seating, unclipping her sword to sit this way. But she doesn't throw it carelessly; instead, she gently places it down before her. Her head drops back to rest against the in-between of Mitsuhide's prominent shoulder blades. Mitsuhide's heart had exploded from this small, cute gesture.
"How's Obi and Shirayuki?" Mitsuhide pondered for an update.
"Well," Kiki hums, "they're just a bit shaken up in defense of Ryu. But I told them he's to be unharmed and nothing is to go their way either." Kiki felt Mitsuhide take a deep breath in, as her body was slightly pushed away from his before he let his air go and he deflated.
"That's good to hear," Mitsuhide replied genuinely. His brown orbs then studied up to look out the balcony. The night sky had been such a tender, deep blue with sprinkles of bright, illuminous stars ornate all about. "Obi and Shirayuki…" Mitsuhide spews. "Who would have thought…"
"It's quite the plot twist, isn't it?" Kiki whispers quietly. A small smile forms on her lips soon after the quick thought, "it's fitting, though. As much as I would've enjoyed seeing Zen with Shirayuki and being able to call her my Princess, it seems like Zen was in the way for something else that doesn't lack in astonishment."
Mitsuhide nodded slightly, pangs of regret striking him from staring at the Prince while having such a discussion. "Maybe things were meant to be this way."
Kiki blinked. "Maybe."
"Maybe."