Frightful Fishing

"The fishing rod is now firi...casting." VEGA announced, adjusting his phrasing accordingly.

It hadn't taken long for Doomguy to find the sea at the bottom of the island. Compared to the desolate cities and hellscapes he was used to, following this river downstream was a piece of demon cake. Plus, in a world where most buildings were less than four full demon-slayer steps wide nothing was out of walking distance.

"Fish detected. Engage in three...two...one..." Doomguy yanked the rod roughly and was rewarded with...a tire. "Perhaps there is a better strategy."

Now the Slayer was no stranger to catching his pray. If anything, over the countless years of hunting down and destroying demons he had become all but a master of it. But in the past half an hour the marine's success had been mixed to say the least.

VEGA pondered for a moment, then spoke. "It seems there really is no difference in the form of what you catch until it leaves the water. Aside from the sizes of the shadows of course." The Slayer sighed in exasperation. "I realise this does not help. Nor does the fact that we have no idea what the value of any of these items are. Though I can't imagine boots being useful in a world of animals. Or tires in a world that, as of yet, has no ground vehicles."

"Oh, so you're trying fishing eh?"

Doomguy spun round, instinctively equipping his plasma rifle as he did, to face the smirking crocodile behind him.

Del's smirking quickly vanished as the weapon hummed menacingly in his face. "Something tells me it isn't going so well."

"We are having some issues." VEGA admitted, silently hoping that the weapon would be lowered sometime soon to reduce his psychopathic user's temptation to rip and tear his way to victory. It wasn't. "It seems we cannot distinguish between what is a fish and what is...useless."

The crocodile rolled his eyes. "Well you just find out when you catch it. Simple as that, I guess. What; can you see through water to what you're catching where you come from?"

"We can usually see what we are shooti-...catching, yes." VEGA, said over the hum of the still raised rifle, then attempted to diffuse the situation. "No matter. Perhaps you could tell us whether or not we have caught something valuable?"

"I can't say that I'm an expert..." Del began, but the strange glowing item pressed against his temple persuaded him to continue. Not that his pride would have prevented it anyways. "I can have a rough look I suppose."

Doomguy finally lowered the gun with great reluctance and sifted through his backpack to retrieve his items. Despite fishing for a substantial amount of time, he only had three boots, a tire and two surprisingly heavy fish to show for it.

Del snorted. "Understandable for a first time. I would say those sea bass are the most valuable, at a few hundred bells each."

VEGA was surprised. "And how far will a few hundred 'bells' go to buy things?"

"It depends on what you're looking for, but not too far."

The Slayer gritted his teeth. He had not just spent the past thirty minutes of his time casting a net to calming yet inexplicable background music for it to go 'not too far'. He slowly began to reach for his plasma rifle again until the crocodile made an unexpected move.

He pulled out a shark from his pocket. "This is more highbrow. Caught him last summer down by this very beach, and I've been saving him for a rainy day. This little great white will snag you fifteen thousand bells!"

"Little?" The AI said in disbelief. According to the databanks, these creatures were also found on Earth before the invasion, reaching lengths of up to six metres and weighing over a tonne. Yet this small crocodile was displaying this lifeless specimen, whose size very much matched the descriptions of old, with little to no effort.

"He's only a five-meter specimen, but I've caught bigger." The crocodile bragged, puffing out his chest with pride despite his body being hidden behind the gigantic body of the fish. "The one I entered last year was over six!"

"And how exactly did you catch them?" VEGA asked, starting to wonder just how powerful these tiny creatures were. "Is there a winch or mechanical mechanism nearby to help you hoist them up?"

Del shot them a puzzled expression. "Mecha-what now? I don't know anything about that; I just pulled it up same way you did. The fishing rods here are Nook approved."

"You don't say." VEGA quipped then switched to the internal comm chat of the armour. "We were correct in keeping cautious. On Earth these sea predators were caught with galvanised iron hooks and steel winches, yet something tells me that this small animal actually caught it with this plain fishing rod."

The Slayer pulled out his fishing rod again with a new found respect, but noticed the damage it had already accrued. Though he didn't know how much it had been used previously, he knew that when he'd started catching fish it was looking in a far better state that it was now. Expected, he thought, if it was being used to catch sea monsters of that size, but also brittle since he had only used it for much smaller catches.

Del stuffed the giant fish into his shirt somehow then pointed at the worn-out rod. "Looks like you'll be needing a new one. Now you could sell the fish you've caught at Nook's shop..." Doomguy bristled at the name, "...but you're new and you've been following the rules. Here; take one of my spares."

A new fishing rod was handed to the giant death machine, who stared at it with his own puzzled expression. He wasn't used to receiving presents, and the presents he had received in the past were usually used for killing demons. If they could be called presents at all that is; they were usually prised from his enemy's cold dead hands. Nevertheless, this gesture, for all intents and purposes, was unknown to him.

"Thank you for your kindness." VEGA said as the marine took the new rod from him. "I'm sure Mr Doom will compensate you for this at a later date."

The crocodile laughed. "Oh, don't worry about it; I've got loads back at my place. You just keep on fishing and one day you might even be as good as me!"

"We shall try to be." VEGA said, then internally told Doomguy "I think we need to look for another way to make bells, away from the water. If a creature of that size can come so close to the shore the island must fall off almost vertically into the sea. Who knows what else is down there?" Doomguy reached for his rifle again. "I didn't mean demons." His hand fell back to his side, pouting.

"Anyway, I must be going." Del said, smirking at his new 'friend'. "Catch you around sometime Mr Doom, and let me know how the rod works out for you!"

Doomguy watched the small animal walk away and sighed. While he appreciated the assistance with the rod, patient, stationary tasks were not his specialty. Sitting on a beach waiting for whatever was in the water at that time to bite was a far cry from running through demon infested maps and killing them in their waves. He needed something with more activity.

"Perhaps you could try and see what there is to dig up." VEGA suggested, highlighting several points on the HUD. "I noticed several 'x's' on the way here and made a note of their locations. Perhaps you can put that shovel to good use and investigate them?"

The Slayer nodded and started walking to the locations. Surely there was more to offer from this world than garbage, right?

Two pitfall seeds later and Doomguy was ready to unleash his vengeance upon this world. Despite his praetor armour being able to withstand and rotationally correct hits from Tyrants and even the Icon of Sin itself, somehow its systems failed whenever he fell into these traps. No matter how hard he tried to climb out the sides of the hole, he couldn't escape without wriggling around like an idiot for several seconds. Saying he was annoyed was an understatement.

"Now as they say," The AI chimed in, trying to keep the mood positive for the sake of all that was pure in this world, "Third time is the charm."

The Slayer walked up to the third marker on his HUD, taking a deep breath and going to his happy massacre place. Walking carefully around the 'x' this time instead of over it, he took out his equipment and dug down. As the shovel hit the ground, he closed his eyes and dreamed of finding a portal that would lead him away from this serene, peaceful, happy place.

When he opened them, he was instead greeted by an equally unusual sight. "At least it's something different." VEGA quipped before falling silent at Doomguy's glare. "Apologies."

"Ohh is that a fossil?!" Flora called out from a ledge above him. "Good job Mr Doom."

The towering man looked up at the ostrich, then back to the item, then back at her again and held it towards her. "A fossil you say?"

The pink ostrich nodded with a smile. "Yeah, looks like it! You can tell from the swirl and stars there, Pinky!"

Doomguy looked down at his suit in panic for a moment, scanning it thoroughly with his eyes then breathed a sigh of relief. It was still green and the crisis was averted; he wasn't in his unicorn pyjamas. "I see. Are these fossils valuable?"

Flora thought for a moment, then shrugged her shoulders. "Some of them are I guess, but I've never really got any. I've seen Tom Nook buy a bunch at his store though off the Villager. He was paying quite a bit for them."

"Quite a bit you say...?" You could almost hear the AI grinning somehow through its formless voice. "So, we should sell this and make a hefty few 'bells'?"

"It's just bells, not 'bells', Pinky." She smiled at the armoured man, "But yeah, you could if you really wanted to. Don't know why you would though."

Doomguy shot her a curious look through his visor, one that VEGA once again had to interpret. "Are you implying there is another use for these fossils?"

Her happy smile was almost as piercing as Isabelle's. "Well not a use...but you can donate them to the museum we have and build the exhibit up! It's still small, but we all love visiting it when we can and seeing all the cool things the Villager has caught for us."

VEGA felt a chill in his circuits. "Perhaps the being we killed earlier was some sort of guardian/entertainer of this land. Killing him may be detrimental to their development."

"Oh, and if you go there, Blathers can identify the fossil for you Pinky." She added happily. "He's very smart with that sort of thing."

"What is this Blathers creature?" VEGA tentatively asked. Compared to the mostly normal names of the other creatures, 'Blathers' by name implied something a bit more sinister...excessive talking.

"He's the curator of the Museum." Flora explained. "He takes care of all the exhibits and accepts new donations. You should go talk to him about that fossil; maybe it's one we haven't had before?"

Doomguy nodded and added the item to his suit's inventory. Before he had thought that his armour was roomy being able to carry all of his weapons and equipment, but its bulk suggested that it was roomy and able to hold many items. Looking up at the ostrich, however, her dotted shirt could hold nothing, a BFG-10000 or anything in between and he wouldn't be any the wiser. He was starting to wish he had tried on that Villager's shirt now.

"We shall take it to him then and get it inspected." VEGA announced and the hulking man turned away accordingly. "Where exactly is this Museum located?"

"Its..." She thought for a moment then shot him a shocked face. "Oh! It's just past the shop at the back! Right next to the town hall too if you've been there Pinky!"

"We can find it from the shop, thank you." The AI told her, surprised the pair hadn't noticed it when they had gone to Tom Nook's store earlier.

"Best of luck then, and I'll catch you later Pinky!" Flora smiled and waved at them before disappearing behind the top of the ledge.

Doomguy thought for a moment, his hand hovering over his combat shotgun. "I doubt the gun will be necessary; she said he was a curator after all." His hand moved over to the super shotgun instead. "It won't be that bad. Most likely this creature will identify this artefact and we can be on our way. Perhaps that knowledge will allow us to sell it at a higher price and speed up the buying process somewhat?"

The Slayer grunted acceptingly and started walking. There were two things he didn't like in life; demons and excessive talking. Little did he know, he was scheduled for one of them very soon.

A/N: Thanks for all the kind reviews and messages; it really means a lot! Let me know if there's anything else I can include or any ideas you'd want me to put in :)